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160 CONSTANCY MISPLACED.
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
» Herself With Eijise Its Had With Preci...
" Tlie wish , to liear something of you , or perhaps to see you inducement again , now that in visiting the evening this of country life . draws I had on , not was been my princi able pal to
discover your residence , but accident has brought me to your door . May I hope that you also have thought of me as a friend ? "
" As a friend ! " exclaimed Eiise , who had hitherto listened to him in perfect silence , the long pent-up violence of her nature finding
sudden vent . " As a friend ! -whilst you thought of me only in moments of leisure , you have been my morning and evening
prayer your ; my life , my light , my hope , my only thought : whilst you have forgotten meor thought of me only as a childish toy that you
had laid asideI , have mourned for you with a grief such as no , woman ' s heart ever bore before ; whilst you were wooing another
and eased your conscience with a cold enquiry after me , I repulsed every man who ventured to approach me . I also have married , it
is trueand with bitter tears have I repented it a thousand times ; but I was , an unprotected woman , and I chose a husband who I
expected would share my sorrow as a friend , and assist me to keep your memory sacred . Not like you did I marry , to enjoy the
neither pleasures understand of life . " my When lieart I discovered nor my fidelit that y , my I hardened husband myself could '
and turned from him , shut myself out from every joy of life , even from the happiness of a mother . My life has been no garden like _*
yours , it has been a burial-place where I tended no flowers save those life aroun 7 ' d Elise your grave had been —and standing you have erect lived whilst , and have she spoke rejoiced , her in
cheeks your glowing . and her eyes flashing ; now she sank down again , her womanly , pride awakened by the bitter feeling that she had
laid bare a forgotten and forsaken heart , and with a cold voice she continued : — " Pardon me , my lord count , for this involuntary
outbreak of long-passed feelings , I pray you leave me alone . " " I cannot leave you alone , " rejoined the count with deep
b emotion eing , once ; " may so rich God in forg promise ive my . If sh th are at in long the weary desolation illness of should which your
undermined my strength—or if the instability of my heart _, bear the guilt that the first love of my youththe love of one
day—, if this is guilt , —that the love of my youth did not survive the storm—I do not know ; but certainly I ought to have weighed
more deeply the signification of my words on that day of excitement and enthusiasm , and should have bound myself by no new tie
until I had sought you myself , and everything had been explained between us . There was perhaps an unconscious deceit in my heart
which made me too readily believe the news of your marriage ; so far as the guilt is mine , I must bear it , and endeavour as far as I
can to repair the injury I have done you _; but if I have not been faithful to you , Elise , I have been so to my God ; I have been
so to the laoly vows of my youth , I have been so to those
160 Constancy Misplaced.
160 CONSTANCY MISPLACED .
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Citation
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English Woman’s Journal (1858-1864), May 1, 1863, page 160, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ewj/issues/ewj_01051863/page/16/
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