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Leader (1850-1860), 23rd December 1854, Edition 1 of 2, Page 1217

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      BARNUM . he Autobiography qfPhineas Taylor Barnum , tfc . # c . Sampson , Low and Co . o amount of adverse criticism could do injustice to this book . It may be riefly characterised as an account of a quarter of a century of " humbug , " to hich no moral attaches , excepting that the ( New ) World is ruled by umbug , and that cash is more satisfactory than pride- This Autobiography composed of numberless yarns , broad grins , and Yankee tricks—some lod , the majority bad , and all very indifferent to the characters of the perms concerned . A few extracts will not , we trust , induce imitators . The sesar-like air with which Barnum professes to carry all before him , is grand its impertinence .

      THE CHURCH AtH > THE CIRCUS . As was usually my custom on the Sabbath I attended church in Lenox , Mass . The srgyman took occasion to declaim against our circus ; said that all men connected ith circuses -were destitute of morality , &c . In fact , he called us such hard names , at I wrote a request to be permitted to reply to him , and asked bim to give notice am the pulpit that I should do so . I signed it "P . T . Barnum , connected with the ecus , June 5 , 1836 ; " and as soon as he had read the closing hymn ., I walked up the ilpit-stairs and handed him the request . He declined noticing it , and immediately ter the benediction was pronounced , I strongly lectured him for not granting me t opportunity to vindicate our characters , gave him my opinion of a slanderer , &c . This incident caused great commotion in the village . Several members of his Lurch apologised for their clergyman's conduct . They said that he had recently ctuTed them for permitting their children to speak in dialogue at an exhibition of

      e village-school , censured him for his course regarding the circus , and hoped that I ould not hold the church responsible for his ill behaviour . I was satisfied , and , as juis Napoleon would say , " tranquillity was restored . " A similar scene subsequently occurred at Port Deposit , on the lower Susquehannah , ough in the latter case I insisted on addressing the audience in defence of ourselves 3 m personal assault . I did so for half an hour , and the people attentively lisned to me , though the clergyman repeatedly begged them to disperse . I sincerely ought myself entitled to this hearing . Many a time had I collected the circus cominy on the Sabbath , and read to them the Bible and such printed sermons as I could itain , and I had repeatedly induced many of them to accompany me to public worip in the towns and villages in our route . We certainly had no religion to boast , but we felt ourselves not altogether " castaways , " and thought we were entitled to sntlemanly treatment at least when in attendance on the gospel ministry .

      THE ETHIOPIAN CAN CHANGE HIS SKIN . I had advertised negro songs ; nO one of my company-was competent to fill his ace ; but being determined not to disappoint the audience , I blacked myself thoroughly , Ld sang the songs advertised , namel y , " Zip Coon , " " Gittin up Stabs , " and " The acoon Hunt , or Sitting on a Rail . " It was decidedly " a hard push , " but -the Ldience supposed the singer was Sandford , and , to my surprise , my singing was iplauded , and in two of the songs I was encored ! After singing my negrd songs one evening , and just as I had pulled my coat off in e " dressing-room" of the tent , I heard a slight disturbance outside the canvas , ashing to the spot , arid finding a person disputing with my men , I took their part , id spoke my mind to him very freely . He instantly drew his pistol , exclaiming , You black scoundrel ! dare you use such language to a white man ? " and proceeded

      hberately to cock it . I saw that he supposed me to he a negro , and might perhaps ow my brains out . Quick as thought I rolled up my shirt-sleeves , and replied , " I a as white as you are , sir . " He absolutely dropped the pistol with fright ! Probably i had never seen a white man blacked up before ; at all events , he begged my pardon , id I re-entered my " dressing-room , " fully realising that I had incurred a narrow ance of losing my life . Nothing but a presence of mind which never yet deserted e , saved my brains . On four several occasions during my life I have had a loaded stol pointed at my head , and on each occasion have I escaped by little less than a Lracle . Several times , also , have I been in deadly peril by accidents 5 and now , hen I look over my history , and call these things to rirind , and especially when , in acing my career , I find that so many with whom I have had intercourse are tenants the grave , I cannot but realise that I am deeply indebted to the mercy of God .

      AMUSEMENTS OF THE AMICRICAN . MUSEUM . There has been a gradual change in these , and the transient attractions of the useum have been greatly diversified : industrious fleas , educated dogs , jugglers , itomatons , ventriloquists , living statuary , tableaux , gipsies , albinos , fat boys , ants , dwarfs , rope-dancers , caricatures of phrenology , and " live Yankees , " pantoime , instrumental music , singing and dancing in great variety ( including Ethioans ) , etc ., dioramas , panoramas , models of Dublin , Paris , Niagara , Jerusalem , etc ., echanical figures , fancy glass-blowing , knitting-machines and other triumphs in the echanical arts , dissolving views , American Indians , including their warlike and ligious ceremonies enacted on the stage , etc ., etc . Apart from the merit and interest of tliese performances , and apart from everying ; connected with the stage , my permanent collection of curiosities is , without mbt , abundantl y worth the uniform charge of admission to all the entertainments of 0 establishment , and I can therefore afford to be accused of " humbug" when I add ch transient novelties as increase its attractions . If I have exhibited a questionable ad mermaid in my Museum , it should net be overlooked that I have also exhibited moleonards , a rhinoceros , grisly bears , orang-outangs , great serpents , etc ., about

      Inch thoro could be no mistake because they wore alive ; and I should hope that a tie clap-trap" occasionally , in the way of transparencies , flags , exaggerated picrcs , and pulling advertisements , might find an offset in a wilderness of wonderful , atructivo , and amusing rcalitjes . Indeed I cannot doubt that tlio sort of " clapip" hero roforred to is allowable , and that the public like a little of it mixed up ith the great realities which I provide . The titles of " humbug" and the " prince humbugs" wore first applied to mo by myself . I mado theso titles a part of my stock in trade , " may here quote a passage from tho Fortunes of the Scnttergood zmilt / , a . work by tho popular English writer Albert Smith : — " ' It ' s a great thing to be a humbug , ' said Mr . Rosactt . * I've boon called so often , means hitting tho public iu reality . Anybody who can do so iu sure to be called a unbug by aomobody who can ' t . ' " Among my llrst extra exhibitions produced at tho American Museum wns a model tho Falls of Niagara , belonging to Grain tho artist . It was undoubtedly a fine odol , giving tho miithoniatioul proportions of that great cataruct , and tho trees , cks , buildings , etc ., iu its vicinity . Hut the absurdity of tho thing connisted in troducing water , thus prntuiuliug to prosmit a ftvo-siinUu of that ^ runt wonder of ituro . The fulls woro about oif ^ htoen inches high , everything else boing in duo

      pro-> mon . I confosH I felt Boniowhat onhiunod of thta inynolf , yet , it mado a good line iu tho 11 , and I bought the model for 200 dollars . My jidvortiHoinonts tlien announced nong tho attraction * of tho Miiniiuin , TIIK < 1 IU 1 AT MOIHCl * OV NIAUAKA l'Al . I . H , WITH ItKAL WATIfilt I A tiinglo barrol of water answered tho pur |> oN « of thin model for nn entire Hoasoa ;

      for the falls flowed into a reservoir behind the scenes , and the water was continually re-supplied to the cataract by means of a small pump .

      THE CL . VB THAT KILLED CAPTAIN COOK . Passing up stairs , I commenced overhauling a lot of -war-clubs , and finally selected a heavy one that looked as if it might have killed Captain Cook or anybody else whose head it came in contact with . Having affixed a small label on it , reading " The Captain Cook Club , I took it down to Mr . Clark , assuring him that this was the instrument of death which he had inquired for . " Is it possible ? " said he , as he took into his hand . Presently raising it above his head , he exclaimed , " Well , I declare , this is a terrible weapon with which to take a man ' s life . " " Yes , " I replied seriously , but feeling an inward delight that I was now paying off Mr . Clark with interest ; " I believe it killed the victim at the first blow !"

      " Poor Captain Cook ! " exclaimed Clark , with a sigh ; " I wonder if he was conscious after receiving the fatal blow . " " I don't think he could have been , " I responded , with a well-feigned look . pf sorrow . " You are sure this is the identical club ? " inquired Clark . " We have documents which place its identity beyond all question , " I replied . " Poor Cook ! poor Cook ! " said Clark , musingly . " Well , Mr . Barnum , " he continued with great gravity , at the same time extending his hand and giving mine a hearty shake , " I am really very much obliged to you for your kindness . I had an irrepressible desire to see the club that killed Captain Cook , and I felt quite confident you could accommodate me . I have been in half-a-dozen smaller museums , and as they all had it , I -was sure a large establishment like yours would not be -without it 1 "

      TOBI THUMB ' S VISIT TO A BARONESS . A few evenings afterwards the Baroness Rothschild sent her carriage for us . Her mansion is a noble structure in . Piccadilly , surrounded by a high wall , through the gate of which our carriage was driven and brought up In front of the main entrance . Here we were > received by half-a-dozen Servants , elegantly dressed in black coats and pantaloons , white vests and cravats , white kid gloves , and , in fact , wearing the tout ensemble of gentlemen . One old chap was dressed ha livery-r-a heavy laced coat , breeches , a large white powdered and curled wig , and everything else to match . The hall , was brilliantly illuminated , and each side was graced with the most beautiful statuary . We "were ushered up a broad flight of marble stairs ,, and our names announced at the door of the drawing-room by an elegantly-dressed servant , who , under other circumstances , I might have supposed was a member of the noble family . As we entered the drawing-room , a glare of magnificence met my sight which it is impossible forme to describe . The Baroness was seated on a gorgeous couch , covered

      with , rick figured silk damask ( there were several similar couches in the room ) , and several lords and ladies were seated in chairs elegantly carved and covered Witt gold , looking indeed like solid gold , except the bottoms , which were of rich velvet . On each side of the mantelpiece were specimens of marble statuary , on the right of which stood glazed cabinets , containing urns , vases , and a thousand other things of the most exquisite workmanship , made of gold , silver , diamonds , alabaster , pearl , &c . The centre table , and several tables about the size and something like the shape of a pianoforte , all covered with gold , or made of ebony , thickly inlaid " with pearls of various hues , were loaded with bijoux of every kind , surpassing in elegance anything I had ever dreamed of . The chairs at one end of the room were made of ebony , inlaid with pearl and gold , elegantly cushioned with damask . The walls were panelled , and heav il y gilt ; the curtains and ornaments of the most costly kind . The immense chandeliers , candelabra ; &c , exceeded all my powers of description , and I confess my total inability to- give a correct idea of the splendour in which , lived the wife of the most wealthy banker in the world .

      Here -we spent about two hours . About twenty lords and ladies were present . On taking our leave , an elegant and well-filled purse was quietly slipped into my hand , and I felt that the golden shower -was beginning to fall !

      TOM THUMB AT COURT . Queen Victoria desired the General to sing a song , and asked him -what song he preferred to sing . " Yankee Doodle , " was the prompt reply . This answer was as unexpected to me as it was to the royal party . When the merriment it occasioned somewhat subsided , the Queen good-humouredly remarked , " That is a very pretty song , General ; sing it , if you please . " The General complied , and soon afterwards we retired . I ought to add , that after each of our three visits to Buckingham Palace , a , handsome douceur was sent to me , of course by the Queen's command . This , however , was the smallest part of tho advantages derived from these interviews , as will bo at once apparent to all who consider the force of court example in England .

      PLAYFUI / NESS OXTHE SWEDISH NIGHTINGALE . Christmas was at hand , and Jenny determined to honour it in the way she had often done in Sweden . She had a beautiful Christinas tree privately prepared , and from its boughs depended a variety of presents for members of the company . These gifts were encased iu paper , with the names of the recipients -written on each . After spending a pleasant evening in her drawing-room , she invited us into tho parlour , where the " surprise" awaited us . Each person commenced opening tho packages bearing his or her address , and although every individual had one or more pretty presents , she had prepared a joke for each . Mr . Benedict , for instance , took off wrapper after wrapper from 0110 of his packages , which at first was aa large as his head , but after having removed some forty coverings of paper , i t was reduced to a size smaller than his hand , and tho removal of tho last envelope exposed to view a piece of Cavendish tobacco . One of my presents , choicely wrapped in a dozen coverings , was a jolly young Bacchus in Parian marble —intended as a pleasant hit at my temperance principles . KKOKl'TION ^ pP . TKNNY UNS—SU 15 KISSES RARNUMl

      I cannot express what my feelings -wore as I -watched this bcouo from the dros » circle . Poor Jenny ! I deeply sympathized with Her when I heard that first hiss . I indeed observed tho resolute bearing which she assumed , but wuh apprehensive of the result . When I witnessed her triumph , I could not restrain tho teava of joy that rolled down my cheeks ; and rushing through a private box , I reached tho stage junt as sho was withdrawing after tho fifth encore . " God bloas you , . Fenny , you have settled thorn ! " I exclaimed . " Are you satisfied ? " «« id she , throwing her arms around my nock . Sho , too , was crying with joy , and never boforo did « ho look ho beautiful in my eye . s «» on that evening .

      A TISMIM 3 UANC 1 ' : MOVJ 01 WKNT . In tho fall of 1817 , while exhibiting General Tom Thumb at Saratoga Springs , whero tho Now York State Kair was then being lmld , I Haw ho much intoxication among men of woalth and intellect , filling tho liitf licnt jmsitioun iu Hooioty , that I begun to ask myttclf tho question , What frimrunti-o Ih I . hero that / may not . become u drunkard ? V rollecUid that many wtour and bi-tlor muii than inymslf hud fallou vlcl . uun to intemperance- -y and although I was not in tlm hiibit of partaking ofton of Htrong ; drink , I -wuh liable to do ho whonovor I »»< ' <¦ frlt .-iidH , which iit my travel * occurred overy day . llenco I renolvod to fly tins duugur , and I plod / rod myriolf at that tinio imvor again to partake of an » y kind of Hpiritiioiw liquor .- ) a . s a bovorngo .

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      December 23 a 1854 . ] THE LEADER . 1217

  • Citation
    • Leader (1850-1860), Dec. 23, 1854, page 1217, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2070/page/17/