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I hope the genial breath , of spring will chase those clouds that have thickened o ' er my fancy , and scared me with—— " Visions of the nig-A * , "— - " Gorgons , and hydras , and chimaeras dire 1 " 46 young friend I spoke of is living , but his house is totally destroyed , and his rising hopes all crushed ! He lived at Lucea . I
could exclaim like Hamlet , and speak of the world as a " sterile promontory / ' But why should I attempt to " divide my melancholy with another ? Though . I know your heart is open to sympathy , yet I would not disturb it by obtruding on it my complaints . I am , &c . &q . S . B . '
" January 30 , 1781 . " My Dear Friend , 44 Your most obliging letter this morning , gate me great satisfaction , as it afforded so kind a proof of your friendship , I thank you for your condolence and will
most certainly make a trial of the medicine you speak of , if my eyes should grow worse . I hope they will not . My friend , Dr . Parr , says every thing to reconcile my mind to my calamity * He assures me that the complaint is seldom dangerous : he calls it , a disease of the < c sebaceous glands under the lids . " I believe he hath hit
on the case . The lids were much protruded , and the cornea . was very red , Xhe inflammation is not Visible at present , though reading and writing are still incommodious o me . The least inconvenience of . s kind , must , as you may well Ima gine , greatly distress me . To £ e blind at ! Good God ! now my whole soul recoils at the Wea ! I believe my anxiety hath « itt » e 4 the complaiat . I know
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trouble will most sensibly affect the sight . Its influence is chiefly on the finer parts of the nervous
system ; and , as the optic nerve is a very material part of that system , 1 apprehend that it will be particularly affected by what injures and shocks the whole .
" I think my apprehensions may admit of a good apology , even though imagination should aggravate them beyond common bounds . Think of ray most deplorable situation both of body
and mind , this time four years ! The perturbation of my spirits , excited first by fear , then increased by a consciousness of having acted amiss , and , at last , tenfold aggravated by ill treatment , confidence betrayed , friendship withdrawn ,
malice exulting , and every future prospect receiving a dismal shade , from the darkness of present experience ; all these sad occurrences stepping so closely on each other , that the foot of ease and consolation , had not room for a
moment to pass through , made me the cornpleatest victim of distress , that envy itself could have wished to have beheld . In this
forlorn state I lost my sight ! It gradually left me as my sorrows rose on my heart , till the light of day , was almost extinguished ! It was near four months before I was
capable of reading even my owjji hand-writing . 4 i The dread of a return of so alarming a calamity may be forgiven in even a more stoical philosopher than myself ; though I trust , if it should return , I shall not want fortitude to meet it as a
Christian . I am better prepared tm conflict with adversity , than I was , at the moment when I bad something % wr $ e than adversity to coa-
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Two Letters of the Rev . S . Badcock ' s . 325
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), June 2, 1811, page 325, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2417/page/5/
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