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speaking , I am confounded , and I have not the confidence so much as to quote the lines I complain of . <( I have this morning been bumbling myself before God for the pride of my heart . It follows me whithersoever I go—into my study , into the conversation of my friends , and , what is most dreadful of all , into the immediate presence of my Maker ; of that God whp is the fountain of all perfection , and from whose hands I have received mjPfcll , and from whom I have deserved
art aggravated condemnation . Such is the subtilty of this insinuating mischief , that I can recollect instances in which I have been proud of having exposed the deformity of pride with success , while , perhaps , it was only another instance of my degeneracy to imagine that I had so succeeded . Why , then , must your complaisance add fuel to the fire , which I sometimes fear will burn up all my grace and all my religion ? How hard is It to keep self in self-subjection ! This you have taught me as well as man can teach it , but God alone can make the excellent lesson effectual . I cannot lay a scheme
for the honour of my God , and the service of the world , but self intrudes itself , and that sometimes to such a degree as to make me doubt whether the governing principle be not wrong , and whether many of my most valuable actions and designs be not splendida pietata . Alas , such is your * pious and excellent' friend I You compliment me on the learning and accuracy of my views . How are you deceived ! I have hardly looked into many of the most
excellent treatises of the ancient and modern commentators , and have only dipped into some others so far as to see that there was a great deal that I was not capable of comprehending " , at least without a long course of preparatory study I There is hardly a chapter in the Bible which does not puzzle me ; nor , in short , any considerable subject of human inquiry in which I do not perceive both my ignorance and my weakness . —And this—is your oracle !
' * Were there any thing which could seem a just excuse for my vanity , it would indeed be that you and some other such excellent persons profess not only to love , but to respect me ; but I am persuaded , nay , I certainly know it is only because a great portion of my ignorance and folly lies hid , otherwise you would all but pity or despise me ! And when I consider your humility in admitting me to such an intimate friendship , and in thinking so honourably of me , I see the greater reason to be abashed at the reflection that I have learned no more of that amiable grace , with so bright an example before me , and in one whom I love so well , that it might be expected that I should imitate him , with a peculiar pleasure .
" Let me beg your pity and your prayers ; love me as well as you can but pray that I may deserve your affection better ; yet whatever other imperfections attend my character , I am , with most sincere tenderness and grateful affection ,
" Your friend and servant . "—Vol . II . p . 3 / 5 . The humility apparent in this and every other letter , was the most eminent grace of a character which was full of graces . In him it was carried almost to an excess ; and to its superabundance , combined with a similar excess of benevolent feeling , we are inclined to attribute the great fault which runs through the whole of his correspondence , and , we imagine , the whole of his intercourse with society : we refer to his habit of flattery . Assured , as we are , that he had no selfish ends to answer , and that he was above the use of such means , —making , besides , all due allowance for the manners of the time , we cannot reconcile ourselves to his manner of
addressing his friends on the subject of their various perfections . It appears strange that while discomposed , as we find him to have been by such incense , when offered to himself , he should have adopted a style of address which must have been painful to his correspondents ; or , if not painful , all the more injurious . There is far less of this to persons to whom he was under the greatest obligations , and whom he loved the best , than to compaT
Untitled Article
Duddridge ' s Correspondence and Diary ,. 23 *
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), Jan. 2, 1830, page 23, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2580/page/23/
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