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perhaps of other books , and possibly been enabled to form some idea of the length of his imprisonment , some anticipation of his future fate . His mind had , however , been too much excited to be laid to rest . He could not sleep ; and after many vain attempts to turn his attention from recent events , he rose from his couch . His cell was dark , and it was with some difficulty that
he found the door and made his way out to the parapet . The moon had set , but the stars shed a glimmering light below , so that he could just distinguish the woods from the hills , and trace the course of the river as it watered the valley . The breeze blew cold ; but its coldness refreshed him ; and the perfect stillness , being natural to the hour , oppressed him less than on the preceding day , when it seemed strangely combined with glowing sunshine and fertile fields .
" I have often , " thought Helmer , " looked on a scene like this at the same hour , and in solitude as complete . Why , then , with feelings so different ? Because I was free ? What is there in freedom which changes the face of nature and brightens the aspect of every object ? \ Vhat was freedom to me ?"
He paused in the consciousness that liberty of action had in his case been abused . Helmer was much addicted to study . His days and nights had been passed among his books , and while his heart was tender , his spirit devotional , and the gospel was acknowledged as his rule of life , his enjoyments had been selfish , and his intellectual improvement pursued as an end rather than a means . This conviction now pressed upon him .
" What , " he asked himself , " is the jyurpose of my existence , of every man ' s existence ? To promote happiness by" € rTe ~ 1 mealis ~~ Bntt according to the law communicated by God . These means I have possessed , and this law I have acknowledged ; but this end I have not pursued . By temperament I am compassionate ; in imagination I am a philanthropist ; yet I have done less for my race than the mechanic who provides for the daily comfort of his neighbours . When I have heard the passing bell , I have been wont
to speed the spirit on its way by an inward prayer . But for ^ the living I have done nothing . When 1 have seen the gay multitude assembled for the feast and dance , I have made curious inquisition into the secrets of every heart . I have speculated on the concealed joy and bitterness , I have watched the ebb and flow of passion , I have pondered the past conflicts and future destiny of each : but all this has been for myself , and by no effort of mine has victory been ensured in any such conflict : no spiritual nakedness has
been clothed by my charity , no feeble exertions supported by my assistance . Here no passing bell is heard ; here no voice of revelry will incite me to meditation ; yet 1 may live to as much purpose as I have hitherto livednay , to more , if my solitary helplessness should enable me to form a truer estimate of the objects of existence , and hasten tKeTpractical conviction to which F ~ must ~ at length arrive , that selfishness is guilt , however fair and however honourable may be the disgtiiie ~ wTricTi it assumes . "
He meditated long on the influences under which his tastes and habits had been formed . They had been unfavourable . Literary ambition had been excited and gratified at college . The admiration of his early friends , the devotedness of an only sister who prided herself in him and ministered assiduously to his wishes , entire freedom from worldly anxieties , and the early severing of almost every domestic tie , had al ]^ tended to centre his affections in himself , and to incline him more to contemplation titan to action . He was now conscious of having indulged a most ill-founded pride in Ins peculiar tastes , and a contempt as groundless for what he believed the ignubler
Untitled Article
444 Solitude and Society : a Tale .
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), July 2, 1830, page 444, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2586/page/12/
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