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    Disney , he was solicited to become the minister at Essex-street chapel - He acceded to the request ; and it is after his settlement in that distinguished situation , that we trace in his Diary the fullest and clearest influence of his religious views upon his happiness . We shall leave the remaining extracts to speak for themselves ^

    * Dec . Si , 1805 . —The general state of my mind has not been worse than usual . I flatter myself that it is somewhat improved ; but I am conscious of imperfections to keep me humble ; I had almost said , that produce dejection and despondency . I am troubled with many doubts and fears , but , upon the whole , I have a prevailing belief of a future life , and a cheerful and unhesitating- confidence in the goodness of God . I cannot sufficiently acknowledge the kindness of Divine Providence /

    * April 26 , 1814 . —How transient and fleeting a thing is human life ! How short the review of more than half a century I How very few the months that remain ! The idea is continually present to my mind , and is one of the prevailing motives of my conduct , ' I am , at the same time , bound to acknowledge , that the latter years of my life are to me beyond comparison the happiest / He gives , among other reasons for this , the following :-

    —The great thing of all is , the total and beneficial change in religious principles and views . In younger life , every thought of religion was melancholy , every feeling painful . I shudder at the recollection of all that I once believed and felt . With my present views , no feeling is connected with religion but that of delight . God is a kind and wise

    Father ; all his dispensations are gracious ; even the discipline that he exercises is salutary and beneficial . Every thing is going on right , in the best manner , and in a constant , uninterrupted progress of improvement , of virtue , and of happiness . How . delightful ! How gracious , how good is God How happy to live under the government of perfect benevolence , of perfect wisdom , of Almighty power !

    * Though my prospects as to a future life are not unclouded , and I am , at times , more ready to indulge the fears of - — - than the calm unhesitating confidence of Mr . Lindsey and Dr . Priestley , conscious indeed of so much that has been , of so much that still continues , amiss in myself , and fearing , as I do , that it will hardly be permitted me , in another state , to enjoy the society of those whom I most loved and

    valued here ; yet , upon the whole , hope prevails . I cannot doubt the ultimate goodness of God , even to me , who am so unworthy of his mercy . When I think of all his past goodness ; of the wonderful and mysterious way by which he has led me "; of preventive and distinguishing benignity , and of my present situation , views , and comforts , how can I doubt his paternal goodness ! O my God ! thou wilt not leave me , thou wilt not forsake me /

    Jan . 1819 . —I have just entered upon a new year , and who can foresee the events which will take place in it ? But why should I indulge unreasonable anxiety ? The world is under the same wise and good government that it has always been ; I am myself the object of the

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    134 DIARY OF THE REV . T . BELSHAM .

• Citation
  • Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), May 1, 1833, page 134, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2613/page/6/