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Untitled Article
erected a magnificent temple and sapphire colonnades fit for the residence of the genii , who reposed in , or floated along its halls , or delved an incantatory cell for the phantasmagoricai creations of witches or magi . The book of orders was any thing but an orderly book under my hands . I marshalled in it the actions and ceremonies
of nations buried three thousand years ago . This was all wrong , all this was criminal ; I will not offer a defence , I state the fact . I was placed in a situation which , to be duteously , and , let me say , honestly filled , made the entertainment of such fancies wrongful to my employer . It occasioned errors and mistakes which might have resulted in serious injury and loss , had they not been rectified by a diligence and watchfulness , which , but for my carelessness , had been more profitably engaged . My time was passed in committing blunders , that of others in repairing the ill consequent upon them . L * et the reader carry this reflection in his mind , and he will understand what little claim I had on the kindness and indulgence of one who considered correctness in accounts the greatest of virtues , and an aptitude for business in a boy , the best promise of future wisdom in the man .
How many pangs did this unconquerable dreaming cost me ! It made me less trustworthy than a convicted cheat or a thief , for it was possible , nay it was easy to frustrate the tricks of either of these ; but there was no defence against my moral absence , and I endured all the ignominy of a thief detected , with the additional torture that I had betrayed a trust , while my heart told me I had not turned from honesty the [ breadth of a hair . I thought , when I sat down to
write these Memoirs , to laugh at all these things ; I intended to run along so far , on a rail-ioad of light-hearted retrospection , to draw mirth out of my boyish foibles—to be merry with my own follies , to make the reader laugh with me , at myself : but as I plunge rny mind into the subject , the subject seems to swell into a combat with destiny . The reader will throw down the book if I do not get out of this rainy weather and muddy road . Well , stay , or rather go on awhile . You shall have sunshine and hurricane , battles and billows ,
groans and laughter , by and by . No I could not be trusted . Once I was despatched with a * one pound note * to purchase stamps , which were to cost six shillings and eight-pence , my change , of course , was thirteen and four-pence . To the stamp shop I went , told my wants—my mind ' s eye was probably in Japan or in an Asiatic jungle . I counted the money ( perhaps ) six and eight-pence change , and returned home . Not till I reached
the door , did I reflect that the stamp-seller had given me the sum he should have retained , and retained that which he ought to have given to me . The dread of my uncle ' s cold sneer , for he was never angry —I could always brave anger in any of the stations , climes , conditions , or circumstances in which I have been thrown , from that time to this . Anger always arms me ; but a cutting silence , a cold sneer , or a
grumble of reproach , I could never strive with ; they strip me of confidence and strength , and lay me bare in nakedness . The dread of my uncle ' cold sneer threw me into a perspiration , and embarrassed my manner , as I said to him , 4 Sir , I have made a mistake . ' * I do not doubt that / he replied ; my faltering explanation was met by , ? Umph , go back immediately and set it right , make haste . ' The order
Untitled Article
898 Autobiography of Pel * Verjuice .
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), June 2, 1833, page 398, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2616/page/38/
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