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sympathize with me , did not know my misery , or its cause ; he could not believe it was so sharp and so deeply seated . That any good to me would be meant by their pursuit , was utterly out of my thoughts , I should have expected milk from paving stones as soon . Why , why did they suffer me to think thus of them ! How many
hours of silent bitterness have I endured in reflecting on this mutual misunderstanding ; how much have I regretted that I could not perceive it was only an error in their policy , the general mistake , the very common course of those who have the guidance of youth : but it blighted . I can now see that it was meant to
check me in that familiarity and communicative openness , which Were implanted in my nature . I felt that I was made to receive kindness , and to reciprocate affection in its fullest burst and most genial glow . Such was my nature ; my frame , my mind , my heart , my spirit were such ; this I will dash forth in defiance of
tli £ charge of egotism , and the ridicule with which this claim to original beauty may be met . Such I was ; inexhaustible were the stores , unfading their light , untiring in their action , and would have continued such had they not been repulsed , forbidden , dashed
back ; but they did not die . Early next morning , we both sallied down to the Docks , to inhale the tar and pitch , &c . impregnated air , and to gaze on the
sea coursers , stabled and stalled . Curious , inquisitive , and admiring , my eye ran over the crowd in St . George ' s dock , where large and gallant flags , striped and starred , waved and fluttered in the breeze , all flaunting with the intelligence that this was to them a gala-day : it was the 4 th of July , and the American sailors were full of early hilarity in their prepared resolutions to honour the anniversary of their independence in due form , —that is , after a sailor ' s fashion of making merry . I eyed with delight the many boards suspended in the rigging , announcing the agreeable
information , that this noble sky-pointing ship was bound for Baltimore —that to Philadelphia—a third and fourth to New York—others to Charleston ;—further on were ships for Jamaica , St . Domingo ; in other directions , for Messina , Gibraltar , Cape of Good Hope , Stockholm , Gottenburg , —and each found favour in my eyes ; each had a magnetic influence on my mind . But how lo choose ; it was a kind of ccena-dubia ; or , as it was early in the morning , jentaculum . Out of so many I knew not which to fix upon ; she that promised to go furthest , though , had most attraction .
Compassionating fortune released me from the difficulty . I had observed , without discovering that it meant anything , for the last half hour , or longer , two well-dressed sailors , that is to say , two clean white-trowsered , neat blue abundant-button jacketed , glazed-hatted , long pigtailed , mahogany-wainscot-faced , quidcheeked men , were our constant attendants ; walking where we walked , and stopping as we stopped ; admiring this fine ship , and that fine ship , as we admired them . But taeir admiration was
Untitled Article
Autobiography of Pel . Verjuice . 539
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), Aug. 2, 1833, page 539, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2620/page/27/
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