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every page as at the hour the book was taken from under the binder ' s press . What should you say ? What but , * Mr . John Bull , you have the most elegant copy of the divine bard I ever saw . ' Telemachus , your fortune is made ; he will give a hundred , ay , a thousand dinners on the strength of your so saying : no
man in the world like him ; so hold to that , if you can ; but no , you burst out again with some absurd stuff , some silly enthusiasm on ' the greatest man that ever lived to bless men with fellowship ; the unapproachable , yet free ; the vast , the magnificent spirit / ( Mr . John Bull , if perchance he has picked up antiquarianism enough , thinks of the butcher ' s shop at Stratford-on-Avon , and
turns aside to smile , ) and « nature ' s most playful , simple , sinless child . ' A bell : dinner waits . Your host respectfully bows , begs you will precede him ; your last observations have battered him into the most dignified politeness ; he is now the very pink of courtesy , for you are such an ass . Pass through the hall toward the dining-room ; he begs your pardon for an instant while he
retires ; can you guess for what purpose ? No , not you . Innocent creature ! you have no curiosity that way . Guess : you cannot . Hear it from me : he goes to countermand the order which , in your hearing , he gave an hour ago to the butler to bring up ' some of the old 1805 : ' it is his supernaculum . Your last
burst has undone you . You are not a guest to his liking , so an humbler vintage will do for you , and he to-day will do a violence on his own palate , a mostheroical self-sacrifice . See what affliction you have brought upon yourself ! what loss you sustain by neglecting my counsel . However , mend your play , and you may recover the lost trick .
His table reeks abundance : I hate enumeration of these things , I care little for their presence . I do not run from them , but I will not seek them—scarcely credible , you say , because you do not know me sufficiently . The best dinner that ever displayed the skill of the cuisinier , would not allure me to a walk across the street for
it , if the cravings of hunger could be appeased by a readier access to food ; even a roasted potatoe I prefer to many dinners , because 1 am , at these , expected to partake of entremets and sauces which I somewhat nauseate ; yet do not imagine I arn so much of a philosopher as to hate ' good living ; ' but it must come to me . Hold ! I am talking while you are eating . Now , sir , do you know you are eating a piece of one of those very oxen that were
passing when the mob pelted his majesty's carriage at Brentford !' Oh noble beef—oh worshipful bullock ! you drop your tools in astonishment , check your mastication ' s speed , let your jaws civilly distend , stare with both your eyes on the wondrous roast , draw a huge breath to inflate your lungs sufficiently ., then explode with ' Ha ! indeed V or you are a ruined man : ' tis done , a glass of wine in honour of the bullock ' s memory ; now eat away again . ' A slice of that ham with your turkey , I can recommend it ; you
Untitled Article
• 712 Joh ? i Bull , Esquire , of PPTieedle-Hall .
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), Oct. 2, 1833, page 712, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2624/page/52/
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