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Untitled Article
recalled her to herself . Till this moment the extent of her love had remained concealed from her , and now she was too much bewildered to analyze her own sensations : she only felt that the rock on which she had rested had suddenly sunk beneath her ,
and that she was alone , struggling amidst the waves of a wide tumultuous ocean . She reached home , scarcely knowing how , and made her way to her own room . She sunk on tile floor , and a gush of tears relieved the bitter agony she had suffered . ' Is it come to this ? have I loved ? and must I wake from all those
dreams , and upon such utter desolation ? Were all those days that we have passed together , our walks , the books that we have read , the tears we have wept together , the looks of love—aye ! it was love ! at least , with me ! I know it now , even from this dreadful torture !—was it nothing ?—is it to be nothing ? I was happy ! I could be content even now , but for this ache—this dreadful ache ! Why did you come across me ? Oh what a child I was—a happy ,
happy child ! What am I now ? A miserable , heartbroken wretch ! ' and she grovelled and writhed on the floor in a paroxysm of agony . Such anguish was too strong to be of lon g duration : she lifted her head from the ground . ' Why is this ? Flora Brandon , is this worthy of you , to be thus shaken by your own selfish sorrow , when he who has been always the kindest ,
the tenderest , the truest ( and the tears again gushed forth ) , is suffering , helpless , dependent on your future strength for his very existence ! Oh , forgive me , my father—my dear , dear father I Would that you could hear me—would that you could take your poor Flora to your bosom !—would that you could comfort this wretched , wretched heart ! What , again ? hush ! hush ! and she
remained for some time with her hands pressed tightly to her head and chest , rocking her body into rest , and uttering from time to time the low hushing sounds that nurses use to lull their children to sleep . She succeeded in becoming calmer , rose up and arranged her disordered appearance , composed her features as well
as she was able , and made her way to her Father ' s room . George 1 vas still there , and , with his finger on his lip , made gi gn that Walter slept . She gave George what tried hard to be a smile , and pointed to the door . George looked with wondering eyes upon her altered face , but was too good a nurse to stay to question . A look at her father ' s face again called up her emotion . f
Alone , now indeed aloiie ! ' and her exhausted frame sunk on the coucfy , her place of rest beside her father ' s bed . Her mind reverted to trie one subject , and the tears rolled in heavy drops one after the other , as the thoughts came thickly and sadly . ' He never said he loved me ; he knew not that I loved him ; he knows not what I suffer ! Gone ! gone ! Oh I what a beautiful nature he had ! ' continued her thought , as if he were indeed dead . ' Has still ! Just Heaven ! do not let me wrong him ; a strange cloud seems to veil it from me now , but do not let me wrong him .
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), Sept. 2, 1835, page 574, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2649/page/10/
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