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Northern Star (1837-1852), 8th February 1845, Edition 3 of 4, Page 3, THE ILLUMINATED MAGAZINE. -Februaht. Thi...

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      $0d)Rs Uvbtt Vai*T- --J * The Northern S...

      UVBtt VAi * _t- --j * THE NORTHERN STAR , 3 Z ' -. .... I ~ _^^^^^^* - - _g "" ' ' ' " — _--- _¦¦— - _. _.

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      ' •^^ J^Yalty And Buckingham. A Ballad O...

      _' _•^^ _j _^ yALTy AND BUCKINGHAM . A BALLAD OF ST 0 WE . . we more , once more , lie Itoyal train _^ _Speeas on in its race-horse progression ; _fl _^ eer away , ye loya l throats , Since _^ _'copbancy ' s your profession _, _jjgj _, 0 n , cheer on , onr glorious (!) Queen , " Cheer Alberts form tbat sits beside bet ' s ; aa cheer yon awkward squad of fools , Xhe Chandos tenant would-be riders ! 0 teer on , cheer on—the " noble" Duke 2 _as loads of ale to wetyour throttles ; ¦ goksaVS is half so true * _jls that which springs from foaming bottles ¦ am in their sober senses might See little cause to cheer such follies ; Ba t Barleycorn ' s delicious fumes

      _-njgjel the worst of melancholies ! TaMS . starvation , paupers' moans , _jje horrid things when you are sober , Bnt Queens—e ' en fair ( 1 ) as ours—acquire . 4 brig hter ray from " old October . " _jjo do -aht the " noble" Dnke -will bleed ' flfe swollen purse to _orc-im ihe revels , y thoug h his Grace ' s labourers want A crust of bread , on _dit , poor devils ! gow pretty look those white smock-frocks—Why did he not -with roses wreath ' em ? Xai jet it is a pity that Such skeletons are hid beneath 'em ! _ind flags fbey bore , inscribed , perhaps , With mottoes such as these we tell ye—« God save the Queen and Buckingham V " God _fifl for once this craving belly I "

      ( i , ' twas an intellectual sight , And fit to raise the soul ' s emotion , Those loyal smiles , those knees that bent To Tic , not God , in their devotion ! 0 , -turns a thing to recollect Through future years with awe and wonder , Those clnmsy clowns _begarlanded , Those beer-choked throats- applauding thunder Is there , then , something in a Queen More heavenly than in us poor sinners ? And can a glance from Hoyal eyes Pill starring stomachs with their dinners ? Can e'en the sight of monarchs still The tooth of want , tbat knawing devil ? As legends tell , in days of yore , Their simple touch would cure the " evH V Can e en a nod from Royal head

      Disperse at once the clouds of anguish S Cool the lean pauper ' s fevered brain , And bid the outcast cease to languish ! Can Vic , aU lovely as die is—To casta donbt on this were treason-Scatter "bright blessings in her path , And warm old winter ' s bitter season ? Can Albert , inoffensive youth , Although his moustache such a dear is . Make Buckingham ' s lean labourers fat , Or _turnThorhaggard wives W peris . God 1 what a mockery thus to raise The hymns of worship for a mortal ! Flowers to strew beneath her feet _.

      And thus throw wide each palace portal . Sod ! what a mockery Inns io stag Pecans of heartless exaltation ; While grim starvation decimates , Aim ! taxes crush the scowling nation 1 Sod ! what a mockery thus to cheer The tawdry train of royal weakness ; While shivering want lies cowering down , With not a shred 'gainst winter ' s bleakness ! (• od i what mockery thus to laugh While myriad tear-worn eyes are crying ; God ! what a mockery thus to live , " While thousands onthe straw are dying 2 ***** Speed on , speed on , oh Royal pair , Nor heed the muse ' s harsh reflections ; Enjoy your courtier-scented air , And Buckingham ' s low genuflections . -

      • • peed on , speed on , oh Royal pair , With fulsome flatteries lined your road is Flag and "smock-frock , " triumphal arch , Pat aldermen and reverend toadies ! Speed on , speed on , each booby ' s zeal Fresh words of sycophancy teaches ; Behold , " his Worship" brings the " mace , " Ah , injured grammar , stop his speeches . _Ttt one would think the Boyal taste (!) Host by this time be almost sated ; Both not this endless meal of praise Pall on the palate nauseated ? Haih not the ceaseless banquet yet Of adulation lost its savour ? Would not a little sharp cayenne Be welcomeiust to change the flavour ?

      Would not oke small bright grain of truth Yavy these lies so sycophantic ! Tvath to a Hoyal ear . ' - _^ good God , / 'Twould make _Coos-Ttaadies all quite frantic ! Let them Be on , then—Monarchs' ears - Are always doomed to be surrounded By buzzing drones , who never let Aught but their fulsome hum be sounded . let them lie on , then—let them fill The bright cup to its -Tidiest measure ; Let them dance , sing , and laugh aloud , We too can laugh—though not with pleasure _, _^ e loo enn laugh—a bitter laugha laugh of scorn and grief united - , > cora for yon sycophants who kneel , Grief for tlic pauper starved and blighied .

      • - _'ac-e more once more , the Eoyal train "Speeds on in its race-horse _progresaon ; Then cheer away , ye loyal throats , Since sveonhanev's yonr profession . —Satirist

      £&$&&£

      £ _& $ _&& £

      Douglas Jerbold's Shilling Magazine.—Feb...

      DOUGLAS JERBOLD'S SHILLING MAGAZINE . —February . The appearance of this Magazine , prodaming fhe jfesolution of its conductors to devote its pages to " a consideration of the social wants and rightful claims of ihe I _' eopxe , " was , we felt assured , from tne moment we perused the prospectus , calculated to excite _Uie hostility of all those pimps of power , who , masters tflh e " grey goose . _quiIL" prostitute their glorious pirvilege to the service of -fraud and fhe perpetuation of wrong and oppression . __ In that expectation we have not been wholly deceived , though we acknowledge , with pleasure , that the yelpings ofthe dissatisfied have been confined to a much smaller number than we had anticipated : to a certain extent , thereiore , weiiave found ourselves agreeably mistaken . The excellent reception which , on the whole , the first number of this Magazine met witb from "the critics of the press , we confess surprised us . In

      many a paper in wliich we expected to find the torrent of vituperation let loose , wc found , on the contrary , the kindly words of welcome . This proves one *?/* _® things ; either that newspaper critics are aware that Mr . Jerbold has achieved a positionfroin which , 60 long as he remains firm to principle , their assaults are powerless to dislodge Lini ; or else , that , in spite ot the infamous politics of several of the journals to which wcallude , their conductors in their own hearts feel the justice of the principles proclaimed by Mr . JEEROiD , andtlioughtheythcni selves darenotadvocate those principles , the " still small voice" of conscience hidstUem approve . Charity bids us to believe that this last is the truth ; but either is pregnant with blessed hope for the masses , proclaiming " trmnpettongued" that their brighter day is coming ; for their cause is now pleaded * by one of the mightiest ofthe men of mind , and his pleadings are listened to by all dasses with admiration or with awe .

      Would that we conld say this of all who have KBayed-the critic ' s task in cenning the pages of the "first number of this Magazine . Would that we could confess that in our anticipations we had unwittingly wronged the tvMe of the critic order . But , we have said we havc __ found ourselves not wholly deceived in our anticipations ; and we must now bepermitted to offer a few remarks on the wise comments of the Editor of the Literary Gazette , who has thought proper to draw his superannuated sword in defence of things as they are , aud against Douglas Jerbold's " terrible" and "dreadful" Shilling Magazine . The Editor of the literary Gazette admits that "there is a momentous question pending between the rich and the poor divisions of the community

      There are prodigious evils and immeasurable sufferwigs" He admits this ; but it would appear he is _aneryjatDot'njs _J-eHKoiJofor exposing thoseevils and snfierings . Is he then in love with human misery and does he rejoice at the sufferings of his fellow creatures ? By no means ; he cMms to be the "friend of the people / ' as well as Mr- Jerhoib ; ' but then be denounces " quacks" prescribing their panaceas for * flic maladies of the body politic . Of course the Editor ofthe _Galeae is no " * quack ! " Fortwenty eight years he , or bis predecessors , have puffed into popularity , or condemned to annihilation , those productions of tiie press which have appeared before " tiemforliteramudgment . DoringtbattnnetheEdi

      torww , nodoubt , layckimtohavingdonesomethingto mould and shape Hie character of that literature , tbe control of which he has aspired to . Well , after the lapse of a generation , what are the fruits of the _Gazette ' s good management ? " i _* i _* -od * igHnis evils and immeasurable sufferings ! " But the Gazette will disclaim tiie responsibility of these things , and say , "No ; Parliaments , social institutions , taxation—these _jnaybereBponsible , butnottbe Gazette : " "What , then , becomes of the vaunted influence of literature ? If powerless to prevent the present state of things , it must be equally powerless to change that state . And , if _so ,. why the attack on Douglas Jerrold ' s Magazine , ffbiebj if-such were the case , must be powerless for jroodoreTiIf

      Douglas Jerbold's Shilling Magazine.—Feb...

      . ippar fc _bettexasoii ™ _. ri t * ie ™ _so _fen _**^ _- _********^*^ ' 45 TW ? _^ P _^ Sood to the human family _iireraturc ior , of all "the race that write , " thenoet las the hardest task _tostifle and extinguish tlie ffi oftnitiwithmhini : though , even amon " st the 5 S _^ . IT * 1 , ave fallcH from " theS * h 5 gate , " and become the mere things of vilest 3 v feeing on the crumbs flung from ° the rich mS Bntthetrnth _;« tW + i . _« „ ...

      Such has been the general state of literature _wliiJe the Literary Gazette has held rule in the "Kemiblic _** ? _¦ ¦ , -B * ™ ] r ™ * _^ _un checked , and the poor have suffered undefended _Wesor _"quacks'WtkcEditorofthe _

      The Editor of the _Gazette , while deploring the suflenngs of the poor , denounces the idea that _"bullyine and exasperating the upper and middle orders of society is the best mode of infusing into them the principles of generosity and charity . " Here is the fart ;—"/ Y _^ _imw _cm & and _MJimcMuraoIfi _jiuffaWH _^" have been the result of the rule of the many by the few ; but these rcsultsmustnot be exposed under pain of being denounced as "bullies , " and _exasperators ofthe " upper and middle classes , " who forsootb _, must be fed vrith" generosity" and " _chai-ity " gently as babes are with pap . Innocent sucklings ' " Exasperate , " indeed ! It appears to us it is thc working classes against whose further "exasperation " every means should be taken tefguard ! But we must "infuse" —what a Godfrey ' s Cordial-like word!—into the upper and middle classes the principles oi generosity and charity—i . e .,

      "With bated breath and in a bondsman ' s key ;" we must implore of tbe working classes to sue for mercy instead of demanding justice—to beg for charity instead of insisting on right J Theifterarw Gazette says— "lt is a barefaced lie to ascribe all tie wretchedness we see to the _wrongs and oppressions of those who enjoy happier lots . " Of course giving the "barefaced lie" to its opponents is a nice example for the Gazette to set in carrying out the " soothing system . " We join issue with the Gazette , and avow our readiness to prove at any time that all _thefivils tile poor suffer , save and except such as the natural laws of the universe render all classes subject to , are to be laid to tbe charge of the rich , they and they only being responsible for those evils . The rich monopolize the soil ; appropriate the wild Animals to their exclusive use ; make capital

      multiply capital through the workings of mills , mines , fisheries , and the endless ramifications of trade and commerce ; live in splendid mansions ; usurp exclusive power ; rule the state ; levy taxes ; make wars ; and enjoy all the emoluments , and honoure , and pleasures of society . On the other hand , as effect follows cause , the poor are denied an inch of their motherearth ; die for want of food ; ai _^ punishedforpoachin ° _- create wealth , to subsist on starvation wages ; are defrauded of tbe fruits of their industry ; exist in wretched hovefe ; are slaves , politically as well as socially ; have to pay the taxes ; are the human material for the gorging ofthe monster , war ; and have to suffer privation , disease , and premature death for their share of the social contract . Perhaps the Editor of the Literary Gazette will say that these assertions are "barefacedlies ; " facts of daily and hourly occurrence but too painfully and too incontestibly prove their truth .

      The Gazette admits that the " prevalence of extreme poverty , throughout so rich and prosperous a land , is a reproach to human nature , " and adds , "iustabnents may pay off national miseries as well as national debts . " How soon the National Debt will be paid off by instalments , the critic saith not ; but if tiie poor are to have no better hope of getting their wrongs " paid off , than we have of seeing the monster swindle paid off by " instalments , " their condition , we fear , will be hopeless indeedj The specimens we have given of the article in the Gazette are fair samples of the spirit of the whole , which throughout is bitterly denunciatory of Mr . Jerbold ' s Magazine .

      We are well aware that Mr . Jem-old needs not our advocacy , nor bave we the presumption to assume to act as bis defender . It is principles for which we contend , and the cause of the millions , dear er to us than any other consideration . We pass by the smaller fry , who , in provincial papers bave aped the wondrously wise saws of the Gazette editor . They are too few and too contemptible to bave their little greatness advertised . Comewe-aowtothesecondnumberofMr . Jebhoii >* s Magazine , of the merits of which we bave left ourselves but little room to speak : but there is no need of any lengthy commendation , when in two words we may embod y its worth—excellent and faultless . * The story of " St . Giles and St . James" is continued , and lacks nothing of tbe interest with which it commenced . We give an extract or two : —

      COSSOLATIOJi FOE THE OGLT . We cannot say—and in truth it is a ticklish question to ask of those who are best qualified to give an answer—if there really be not a comfort in substantial ugliness : in ugliness that , unchanged , will last a man his life ; a good granite face , in which there shall be no wear and tear . A man so appointed is saved many alarms , many spasms of pride . Time cannot wound his vanity through his features ; he cats , drinks , ' and is merry , in despite of mirrors . So acquaintance starts at sudden alteration , hinting , in such surp rise , decay and the final tomb . He grows older , -nith no former intimates—church-yard voices!—crying , "How you ' re altered ! " How many a man might have been a truer husband , a better father , firmer friend , more valuable citizen , had he , when arrived

      at legal maturity , cut off—say an inch , of his nose . This inch—only an inch : —would have destroyed tbe vanity of the very handsomest face ; and so driven the thoughts of a man from a vulgar looking-glass , a piece of shop crvstal —and more , from tbe fatal mirrors carried in the heads of women , to reflect heaveu knows how many coxcombs ¦ whochooseto stare into them-to the glass of "his _ow-n mind . With only such petty sacrifice , he might have been a philosopher . Thus considered , how many a coxcomb may be within an inch of a sage ! True , there was an age when wise men—at least a few of them—glorified in selfmutilation , casting sanguinary offerings to the bird of wisdom . But this was in the freshness and youth of the World ; in the sweet innocence of early time . But the world grows old ; and , like a faded , fashionable beauty , the older it grows the more it lays on the paint .

      One of tbe characters in the tale is a Miss Canary , an old maid , who , miserably poor , gets her living by selling bills ofthe play , and oranges in the gallery of Covent Garden Theatre . Bnt poor as she is , she has one consolation— " She wasborn a lady : nobody could deprive her of that . " Bright Jem , a cosmopolitan linkman , in love with all the world but the rascals in it , cannot swallow the doctrine of

      > -0 B-LE _Binrn . _Sonsense , said Jem . I tell you , _iliss Canary , there isn't sich a thing as a born lady in the world . Why ! you never , Mr . James ! and Miss Canary was scandalised at the heresy . Born lady ! repeated Jem , laughingly ; and then moving his chair towards bis disputant , be touched her niittened arm with his pipe , saying—Look here , now . There's Mrs . Griuibles , at number five , she had a little gal last week , —you know that ? Well ; Mrs . Grimbles is a clear-starcher . That you _aUow ? And for that reason —noTvtellme this , —for fhat reason is her little babby born a clear-starcher ! Eh ! I should like to know as much as that now . 0 , Mr . James . ' you ' re a good person , but you know you ' re a low man : no , no ; you can't understand these things . And Miss Canary smiled a pitying smile .

      I tell you , said Jem , there ' s no sich thing as born ladies and gentlemen . There ' s little bits of red girls and boys born , if you will , —and you may turn 'em into—now , look here , said Jem , if there was to be some born gentlemen and some not , —why wasn't there two Adams and two Eves , for the high folks and the low ones ? 0 , Mr . James ! cried Miss Canary , half rising from her seat—for your precious soul ' s sake , I hope not ; bnt 1 do think you ' re an ctklst . I can't tell , I'm sure , said Jem , not comprehending the eonyeyed reproach . I don't know ; but as for my soul , Miss Canary , —why , I try to keep it as clean aud take as good care of it as a soldier takes care of his gun , so that it may be always in fighting order against the enemy .

      * A Much Valued Friend Of Ours Writes To...

      * A much valued friend of ours writes to us as follows : — "The first number of Douglas Jerrold ' s Magazine is a constellation of excellences , and you might as well try to select the brightest star from the Pleiades , as topickfrom it one article better than another . 0 ! I am fond of Douglas Jebeold ! He reaches the heart by no _cireuitouB route ; by no slang , no meaningless punning ; but grasps the heart of the sordid and the selfish firmly and forcibly , and squeezes charity out of it whether it will or no . I have been a reader of the Illuminated Magazine ever since 1 read your first Christmas Garland ; so that you see it is to you that I owe my acquaintace with this true-hearted writer . I shall look for the second number of his _Hagaane with inexpressible interest . '' The writer of the above is a working man residing in an obscure village , in the North of Ireland ; but working man though he be , he has more sense , aye , and poetry too in his head , than threefourths of the conceited fellows who wield the critic ' s rod , and assume the ' _rule of the literary world .

      * A Much Valued Friend Of Ours Writes To...

      the mk _^ _nr _fi - _^ _^ _W _. the only remedyfor _Th- « _S _weaver _rememberto have seen since S-tvof fi , _„ ? -T e was , Propounded to relieve the _ehldiSi Iffew pe ° Ple _V _y A * rich eating the Th _£ writi _* _r ' _? , substitute for sucking pigs . StI St ° < h 7 e ., artlde Pwokiiiw ' ai all-imp 6 rta ° nt _£ u « _i » _SxT * l _^ _^ Property , J but a pnantastaa . 1 Jus the Americans have discovered 2 S _£ _te' an a ! _- _^ 1 ins _u « _' «* ionS . The masses maybeassured of this , that so long as property is _exvlriS hc < l by casses ' t , 10 se _Sasses wffi bcthe _^ fnS , _! _f ' ulci * s _/ ndlnasters of society- no matter _™ 1 . _, of government . A Republican profitmongerM of necessity , as much . a tvrant as a

      monarclucalone . The only advantage of democracy is that it invests the people—an immense advantage , it tuey Have the sense to use it , with the power to conserve to themselves thc fruits of their industry , thereby making themselves property-holders , and , ' of a consequence , then- own masters ; slaves to no men . . - Peasants and Pheasants" is a title which suffaciently bespeaks its purport ; it is almost needless to add that the article is an admirable one . The Recollections of Hazhtt" are continued , and are exceedingly mteresting . " The Hedghog Letters" are _ra _^ _S _^ . _i _^^ _w of " _funch ' sLetters to his Son , " and "Punch ' s Complete Letter Writer . " i roni the poetic contents we give the following : —

      THE DRUM . Yonder is a little drum Hanging on the wall , Dusty wreaths and _tatter'd flags Round about it fall . A Shepherd youth on Cheviot ' s hills Watch'd the sheep , whose skin A cunning workman irrouglit and gave The little drum its din . 0 pleasant are fair Cheviot ' s hills With velvet verdure spread , And pleasant 'tis amid its heath To make yonr summer bed . And sweet and clear are Cheviot ' s rills That trickle to its vales , And balmily its tiny flowers

      Breathe on the passing gales . And thus hath felt the _Shepherd-boy Whilst tending of his fold , _N _' or thought there was in all the world A spot like Cheviot ' s wold . And so it was for many a day , But change with time will come , And he—( alas ! for him the day !) He heard the little drum . "Follow , " said the drummer-boy , " Would you live in story ; ' * Por he who strikes a foeman down , " Wins a wreath ofglorv !"

      " Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The drummer beats away—The Shepherd let his bleating flock On Cheviot wildly stray . On Egypt ' s arid waste of sand The Shepherd now is lying , Around him many a parching tongue For . water ' s faintly crying . 0 that he were on Cheviot ' s hills With velvet verdure spread ,. Or lying 'mid the blooming heath , Where oft he'd made his bed . Or could he drink of those sweet rills That trickle to the vales , Or "breathe once more the balminess Of Cheviot's mountain gales .

      At length upon his wearied eyes The mists of slumber come , And he is in his home again—Till waken'd by the drum . " Take arms ! Take arms ! " his leader cries . " The hated foemarfs nigh ;" Guns loudly roar—steel clanks on steel , And thousands fall to die . The Shepherd ' s blood makes red the sand , " Oh ! water—give me some ! My voice might reach a friendly ear , But for that little drum !"

      _'Midmoaning _men—^ id dying men , The drummer kept Ms way , And many a one , by " glory" lured , Did curse the drum that day . " Rub-a-dub and rub-a-dub , " The . drummer beat aloud—The Shepherd died , and ere the morn The hot sand was his shroud . And this is glory ! Yes ; and still Will man the tempter follow , Ivor learn that glory , like its drum , Is but a sound and hollow .

      Cruikshank's Table Book.—Februart. Succe...

      CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE BOOK . —Februart . Success and glory to the inimitable George and bis clever editor ! The second number of the Talk Book is excellent ; and will , we doubt not , work its way to the tables of a large number of the reading public . Unable to transfer to our columns the illustrations , we can give our readers but a very imperfect idea of the contents of this excellent antidote to the blue devils . We may , however , state that thc . literary matter is much superior to the preceding number , while the illustrations arc all of the most mirtli-inspiring description . The opening article on "Mesmerism" is particularly rich . Then we have " The Doomed One ; a Tale ofthe Nineteenth Century ;" " Guy Greenhorn's Wanderings , " a capital imitation of _Bvnox _' s poetry ; " The Stage Seaman ; " " Letters from a Freshman at Cambridge ; " "Attce Brompton , or The Lily of Park-lane , " a burlesque of the fashionable novel ; with several other good tilings . Wc give the following extracts , the first being a specimen of

      CLASSICS FOR TIIE MILLION . . SHEAS , the son of Anchises and Venus , was a Trojan prince , and he behaved like a regular Trojan on several occasions . lie was placed under the care of a nymph till he was five years old , or in other words , put out to nurse ; but his education was completed under Chiron , who seems to have kept an academy for heroes , or , perhaps , an evening school for classical adults . He . taught music , war , and medicine ; so that he was one of the sort of general practitioners whom Sir J . Graham ' s proposed bill would have licensed to ; kill or cure according to circumstances , After leaving school , . Eneas married Miss Creusa Priam , the daughter of old Priam , and had a son and hen * named Ascanius , He fought well in the Trojan war , and distinguished himself in a manner

      worthy of the fire brigade at the burning of Troy } carrying his old father pick-a-back out ofthe flumes , with his son in his hand , but , husband-like , leaving his wife to make the best of her way after him . Some say ¦ that he returned to hide her , for which others read Ida ; but Strabo makes him out a sort of Cubitt , who entered largely into building speculations , among which was tbe rebuilding of Troy , with all its streets and squares . But Virgil insists that he only made a passage into Italy . After some extensive travelling , he arrived with his father in Sicily , where the old gentleman died ; and the son , then going to sea again , was cast on the shores of Africa , where Dido set her cap _| for hhn with considerable earnestness . . dEneasgave her a good deal of encouragement , " and had at one time serious intentions : but the gods forbidding

      the banns , he absconded , to avoid the consequences , either by sea or land , for a breach of promise . ' Being again driven to Sicily , he consulted the _Cumican Sibylthe _MademoiseUe LeNormantof those days—who took him to the Shades , where he met with the governor , Anchises , who told his son the fate tbat awaited him . . _fineas seems to have been a rather extensive ship-owner ; for after having lost no less than thirteen ; be arrived at the Tyber , where he received an invitation to spend a few weeks with Latinus , the king , who promised him in mar . riage his daughter Laviua , who was no relation to " the lovely young lavina , " who , according to Thomson , " once had friends . " There seems to have been a misunderstanding about this young lady ' s hand ; for while her

      papa had offered it to . Eneas , her mama had promised it to Turnus . To prevent any inconvenience , it was arranged that . ffiiieas and Turnus should" fight it out , " and the latter being killed , the former married Lavina , and built lavinium in honour ofher , much on the same principle as Queen Victoria caused the building of the Albert Gate , in honour of the prince-consort . . Eneas succeeeded his father-in-law on the latin throne ; but continuing pugnacious , he was killed in a tattle with the Etrurians , or as some say , lie fell into tbe river _Numicus , when his armour being heavy , and none of the Humane Society being on the spot , he was unable to get out again [ and so " kicked the bucket" ] _., ON A BLOCK OF ICE BROUGHT FROM AMERICA WITHOUT MEM-ISO , ASB PLACED IS THE WISB 0 W OF A SHOP

      IN THE _STKANB . Ice placed within a shop or room * Will turn to water , we presume , Por 'tis a solvent all agree ; But here In-solvent ice we see . Yet though we cannot solve the ice , We solve the riddle in a trice . It comes from Pennsylvania ' s state , And therefore will not liquidate .

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februaht. Thi...

      THE ILLUMINATED MAGAZINE . -Februaht . This is a very superior number of the Illumimted , containing much worthy of _jiniise _, and but little demanding censure . "Travel and Talk , " by Luke Roden , contains some' delightful sketches of continental scenes ; a short description of Genoa is _particularly interesting . It appeal's , that in spite of its narrow streets , Genoa is a beautiful plac _< 2—a city of palaces . " There is one street entirely composed of bouses as handsome as the Reform Club-houBe in Pall-mall , all built of white marble , and covered with sculpture . High upon the roofs , or on the wings and porticoes , are gardens full of orange-trees , 1 ° _^^ with fruit , and roses and jessamines in blossom . The Queen's marble arch at Buckingham-palace would cut but a poor figure at Genoa . They are building an immense range of arches , forming a covered arcade , with shops , the whole length of the sea-mm * ; itis of admirable architecture , of unpolished "White

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februaht. Thi...

      J ' . * lit , -i . i . I . f j . _^ . - . -. _ . _, . j . _^ .,. js . rnarbterwith fust the mark ofthe _* _chiBelj ajid the top isto form a splendid promenade , also paved with fine marble , affording the noblest views of the city , the ? _-n un _™ ns , v ? ndthe * ¦ 'The town contains ¦ about loO _. OOO inhabitants , and looks as if it - deserved to ic the capital of a kingdom . " How humiliating that the "holy , alliance" of crowded _britsanda werc per-¦ nittcd to hand over tliis splendid city , once a powerfu l _republic _.-to the petty despot of Sardinia ! There is no writer in the Illuminated who so much enchants us as the author of "Travel and Talk , " possessing _i benevolent heart , a _hishly-cultivated mind , and the power to clothe his thoughts in the choicest Ian-mane _, fhe productions of his pen are always looked forward rr \ Wit hd oh n _--fiinni- a !* _«« v » _... _l _* __ 1 j . _ - * ,

      with regret , therefore , that we find ourselves compelled to express onr decided dissent from the political views of tliis clever writer . He belongs to the old school , and is , we fear , now too old to be made a convert to the new . A representative ofthepoliticalf ' eelingof "Old England , " he of course cannot sympathise with " Young Prance , " "Young Switzerland , "' -YoungItaly , " or "YoungGermanv . " Hence his sneers at Frencb Republicanism , and his opinion that the leaden Austrian despotism is good for Italy ! We "have not before remarked on this defect in this otherwise most pleasing writer , but we are compelled to do so this month , when we find him praising the Russian Government , and expressing a wish that the liberties of an independent people mav

      be put down by military despotism . The gentleman who calls himself Luke Roden is proud that lie is an Englishman , and never misses a fair opportunity of exalting his own countrymen as thc noblest race in the world—ivith one exception . What exception thinkest thou , reader ? The Russians ! We have always considered the Jews setting themselves up as a ' - ' chosen race , " as _exhibiting most delectable vanity on their part ; _butthatthis writer should place thc Russians No . 1 in the list of nations , shows a taste on his part wliich is rathertoo absurd to allow us to keep a grave countenance . But he does not stop here ; he actually praises the Russian Government ! That Government is Nicholas ; and when wc have pronounced that name , we have in one word embodied a system of tvrannv .

      rapacity , cruelty , espionage , —in short . devilism , equalling in atrocity anything , however horrible , that ever cursed mankind under the semblance and name of " government . " How disgusting it is to hear an Englishman talk of the " noble , forbearing , and magnanimous" conduct of Russia towards this country _. What ' . has it come to this , that England must be grateful for Russian forbearance ? " Russian forbearance , " indeed ! The veiy words breathe a hellish mockery . Where has _^ this vaunted forbearance been shown ? To Poland , to Turkey , or to Gircassia ? Surely Luke Roden must have forgotten the very names of these countries . Wherever , by intrigue or by violence , Russia could push her barbarously ambitious designs , she has done so ; and has never smipled at the commission of any , atrocity to achieve her ends . " Hew down in masses I" has ever

      been thc policy and action of the Russian Government wherever swords were crossed for freedom ; and forbearance and mercy , justice and right , would seem to be words having no meaning , no existence , in the Russian vocabulary . ' If Russia is slow to quarrel with England , it is because she has nothing to gain , but everything to lose , in a contest with this country . Nicholas ' s barbaric . phalanxes maybe sufficiently powerful to crush a disunited people like the Poles , or a worn-out by-gone race like the Turks ; but they must not be arrayed against the legions of England or France . Neither , nation need care a straw for the "forbearance " of the " imperial" savage . Moscow , it is true , was the grave ot Napoleon's power ; but it was Moscow itself ; and Moscow ' s clime , and not Moscow ' s hordes , that saved the empire of the Czar from , being trodden under the hoof of the Gallic

      conqueror . . Let us not be misunderstood in these remarks . We have no sympathy with the Corsican traitor— -for traitor lie was to the principles of that revolution which hoisted him to power . Nor do we find fault with the resistance of the Russians to Napoleon ' s invasion . A nation of slaves though they were , they did quite right in resisting to the death their invaders . Our meaning in tho above remarks is , that while repudiating the disgraceful idea that England is indebted to Russian " forbearance , " England has no cause to fear the much-talkcd-of power of the Czar . That power is a delusion , wliich any attempt to re-enact on Western Europe the inundation of the Goth , the Vandal , and thc Hun , would signally

      prove . The march to Moscow was not less fatal to France than would a march to Paris , or an expedition to the Thames , be to Russia . There would , however , be this difference ; that whereas the climate destroyed the cohorts of France , it would be the nations invaded who would accomplish the destruction of the Muscovite hordes . We detes _£ all war ; and a war with Russia would be as much detested by us as a war with any other nation : but wc repeat , Western Europe has nothing to fear from Russian ambition , and therefore do we repudiate the silly language of Luke Roben—silly at least on this subject—and deny the indebtedness of England to Russian . " forbearance !"

      Displeased with the democratic revolution in Geneva , Lure Roben takes occasion to vent his spleen against the Gencvese , and adds , " I am no friend to the extension of the : power of France , but should certainly see with pleasure this contemptible caricature of a government put down by a regiment of French soldiers , and no longer suffered to annoy their ) gigantic neighbour by establishing a place of refuge for rogues , smugglers , swindlers , and vagabond apostles of sedition . " Tastes differ ., Luke Roden admires nothing so much as despotism , provided it be a gigantic despotism , like that of Russia ; on the other hand , he detests nothing so much as a free state ,. especially if that state be small . Wc happen to hold views directly the opposite of these . ' There is one excuse for him , _ifllr . Wigan _' s theory ofthe "duality ofthe mind "—( Luke Roden ivill be acquainted _tvith Dr . Wigan )—is based on truth . It is easy to see that the two portions of the

      interior of lus cranium are constantly , or at least too often , at wax with each other . Lure Roden ' s . " good . angel , " or" snnc cerebrum , " prompts liim to sympathise with the suffering and the wronged , and sets him searching prisons , madhouses , and other receptacles of human misery for objects of his sympathy : on the other hand , his "bad angel , " ov "insane cerebrum , " prompts . him-to laud despotism and declaim against the rights of man . Here we have an example , we think , of the truth of Dr . Wigan ' s theory ; for most certainly a perfectly sane man could not be guilty of such absurdities as is exhibited in sueh contradictory conduct .. : We . fear it would be like sending coals to Newcastle to advise Luke Roden to apply to Dr . Wigan for medical advice ; but our own advice wc may give . 'That advice is , to abandon politics , or else to study them more deeply than lie has hitherto done . .

      " A little learning is a dangerous thing !" Luke Roben is on most subjects a delightful writer ; but not on political matters . On political questions he is , in our opinion , totally unfitted to address the mind of " Young England . " We are glad to meet Mrs . Postaxs again . She has in this number contributed a pleasing article , entitled "A little Gossip on the Olden Time . " We , dissent from this lady's opinion on the drama . She thinks the drama is rapidly declining , and that its total extinction is not far distant . ; This is one of the fallacies of this utilitarian age .,. Our own conviction is , that less work and more leisure will yet be thc order ofthe day in England , and with that better time will come an increase , an immense addition tothe present number of the lovers of dramatic art . Hard toil and Svant of time and money greatly circumscribe the num ber of those who seek pleasure in dramatic entertainments ; but surely

      I "A brighter morn awaits the human day , " whei ) all this will be reversed , or at ' least greatly changed far the better , and- 'then the histrionic art will , ] it is our firm faith , flourish as it has never done heretofore ., . , . „_ _,-.. . , " The Philosophy of Fudge" is a capital expose of the "vices of bur social system . " The Tast , the Present _^ and the Possible , contains much curious and interesting matter . '' The Adventures of . a Scamp " are jcontinucd , and . are not a little amusing . Tne poetry is this month superior to thc average : we particularly notice "The Song of the Imprisoned Count , " " Throw not aside the Lyre , " " To an infant sighing in its sleep , " and a poem , which promises to be of some length , entitled " Mirvan _; a Tale ofthe Moors of Grenada . " We close with the following extract from Mr . Carleton ' s tale , the continuation of whicli in this number is much more to our liking than the previous portions .

      TnE INCENB 1 ART . What are you ? inquired one of the magistrates ,, with a very rosy round face , a very round stomach , very round blue eyes , and a carroty wig—onee a citizen of London and a tallow-chandler , now a squire and dispenser of petty sessions law—what are you ?' Nothing , replied the prisoner ; last thing I was , was one ofthe Blazers . What a horrid wretch , exclaimed half a dozen of the justices at once . That is , I mean , continued the fellow , I served as a waister in the Blazer man of war , And pray why did you leave the ship ? demanded the justice with the violet eyes . Because , d ' see , I deserted , was the reply _.

      ne understand you are desirous of being admitted evidence for the Crown touching the burning of Ovcrsley Court , observed the magistrate : to give up the names of your accomplices , and depose to the truth of your testimony on oath . Now do you know the solemn nature _^ of that obligation ? Ease away handsomely , cried the sailor , and don't let your jawing tackle go with a run ; what's the yarn about ? His worship , observed the clerk with a slow voice and solemn visage , wishes to learn whether you know what _nn oath is ? - :- _¦¦'' Don ' t talk like that , said the waister , I should rather think I did . Tell the court what is your notion of an oath , returned the clerk , with great gravity . , D—n your eyes , answered the late member of the _Bla-tcr . t . * AU ' . ; the ' -respectable !> people present

      The Illuminated Magazine. -Februaht. Thi...

      were shocked r a few ih'fustfotfand wooden clogs laughed . Are you a Christian ? : cried the bench , with one voice : _' _horriblclreprobatethat _^ _ybuare-r-dq you profess yourself ¦ aChristian * .. ' . _' ' " ' . ;; , ' . ' _/" , What ' should makemc , retorted tlic ruffian ; and his clenched fist rebounded from the iron bar at which lie stood , " like the sledge from the anvil—what should make me ?—was I born like a Christian ,. or bredlike a Christian , or used like a Christian ? The first I knew of life was in a coal pit , where I fared worse than a hound—worked a thousand times harder than a unite of burden , and lodged as loathsomely as a viper . When I ran away from that and went to sea , did I ever hear my Maker ' s name except when some one swore by it that he would have me up to the

      gratings ? When I deserted from my ship and strove to cam my bread by the sweat of my brow , did not men turn from mc in disgust because I was as naked and ignorant as I was sent into the world ? And now , do I not stand here to be baited like a wild beast , brought from a den more foul and forlorn than you would keep a tiger in ? And , unless I do that which shall defile my manhood , will yc not hang me like a mangy cur ? And what brought me to this pass ? anything I could have done , ov left undoneand ye ask me am I a Christian ? Suppose I tell you 1 don't even understand what that rate means ; that I am ignorant of this right , which , like a post captain ' s commission , seems a p rivilege to ride rough-shod over all creation—what then ?

      2s"" The Continuations Of Coningsby And ...

      2 _S"" The continuations of Coningsby and the Chronicles of the Bastiie , are , owing to the press of matter , postponed till next week . Pubucatioss Received . —Tait ' s Edinburgh Magazine ; Wade ' s London Review ; Family Herald , Part 21 ; The Edinburgh Tales , Part 1 ; Evils Resulting from the Game _Latvs ; Speech of the Marquis of Normanby .

      A Bowl Of "Punch." Fresh Brewed

      A BOWL OF "PUNCH . " FRESH BREWED

      The Royal Speech. My Lords And Gentlemen...

      THE ROYAL SPEECH . My lords and gentlemen , again I meet ye , "With cordiality once more I greet ye ; Though I'd not have you work your braihs to dizziness , Pray give your heads to the despatch of business _. My dear allies , my foreign allies , Are acting with policy pleasant and wise j For some of them come To see me at home ; But this observation expressly applies To Louis-Philippe , Who to Windsor ' s keep

      Came over , despite Anti-Anglican cries . Ah ! the appearance of our country ' s coffers , 0 ! A rich theme for gratulatiqn offers ; Our public purse we ' ve found the way to stock it ,-We ' ve got at last a surplus in our _pockety , 0 , may it never cause so much dissension As—0 ! another surplice I could mention . AU things wear a smile ; Commerce has been mending ; In our little isle All to good seems tending . Wages on the rise ; I . ots of mUIc and honey : You'll not grudge supplies , — There ' s a glut of money , Chorus of Members ' . Tooral lporal , loo , Ac , Ac Poor there are , they say , Who endure hard rubbing ; Bat they ' ve found a _* way

      To heal it by a scrubbing . . Baths they mean to build Soon in every quarter ; Mouths will then he filled , If not with bread—with water . Chorus . Tooral looral , loo , & c „ ice .

      The Absent One.—No Onecan Possibly Have ...

      The Absent One . —No onecan possibly have forgotten the immortal advertisement , addressed to two illustrious letters of tbe alphabet , of bis being " earnestly implored , if he would not return to his disconsolate family , to send hack immediately thc key of the tea-caddy . " Might not a similar one be addressed to Mr . leader , drawn up in the following style ?— " Mr . John Leader , you are earnestly implored , if you will not come home to your misrepresented constituents , at all events To send back the representation of the city you have taken away with you ! Please address to the Steward of the _Chiltevn Hundreds . "

      A London Golgotha. — Burial-Ghound Incen...

      A London Golgotha . — _Burial-ghound _Incenoiarism . — " Spa-fields burial-ground was originally taken for a tea-garden j the speculation failed , and a chapel was built upon it , in which some ministers of the Church of England preached . The bishop refused to consecrate , andit was ultimately bought by Lady Huntingdon ; she inducted one of her chaplains , and it is now much frequented , _Theburying-gi-ound is very large , but absolutely saturated with dead . Tliis place offers a difficult problem for solution ; no undertaker can explain it , excepting by a shrug of the shoulders . I can affirm , from frequent personal observation , that enormous numbers of dead have been deposited here , "—Gatherings from Grave Yards ;

      p . 176 : 1839 . The secret is now disclosed , as will appear from the folkwing tacts . This ground is surrounded by houses , many of them tenanted by respectable individuals . On the right is a one-story erection , called a bone-house . For some months past thc neighbouring inhabitants having observed flame and sparks issuing from the chimney , entertained apprehensions that improper practices were in progress , and , on a recent occasion , called upon the enginekeeper of ihe parish for liis assistance in extinguish ing what they believed to be a fire . He demanded admission , but was refused and resisted by the gravedigger . Being determined , however , to execute his duty , he seized a crow-bar , arid , having threatened to break in the door , it was opened , lie observed a

      great quantity of coffin wood piled round the room drying , a fire made entirely of coffins in the grate , and portions of human bones also . The enginekeeper particularly noticed the appearance of thc chimney , and charged the grave-digger with having used water to extinguish the flame , which was denied ; and he was told that what he " thought was waterwas pitch ; " and this was the fact . Thick flakes of piteh were adhering to the inside of the chimney , thus giving palpable evidence of the material consumed , viz ., coffin wood , about Slbs . of pitch being used in " pitching" round the inner joints of an ordinary coffin . The inhabitants of Exmouth-strcet , Fletcherrow , Vineyard-gardens , and Northampton-row , in the immediate neighbourhood , have frequently

      complained of " a tremendous stench" of a peculiar kind , wliich they say proceeds from the burning of human remains and coffins . On a late occasion , when Walters , tbe engine-keeper , —an active , intelligent , and determined man , proceeded with the engine , on an alarm of fire in the bone-house , he was surrounded by a great crowd , composed chiefly of women , who declared that "the stench was abominable , " and adjured him " for God ' s sake to do all' he could to get rid of this . " Wheel-barrow loads of coffin wood bave frequently been seen carried across the ground from an opposite building to the bone-house , and hot ashes conveyed from it in return and thrown into the graves . This burial-ground does not contain more than two acres , which will receive and give decent

      burial to 2 , 722 adults . Spa-fields ground has been employed for interment upwards of fifty ye ars . The average yearly number , may be stated at 1 , 500 . There have been . -thirty-six burials in one day , but , strange to say , scarcely a human bone can be seen on the surface , it being the practice to have the ground raked and levelled every Monday morning . How applicable to this Golgotha is the following extract from Dr . Adam Clark ' s Commentary on Luko vii . 12-15 : — "No burying-places should be tolerated within eities or towns , much less in or about churches and chapels . This custom is excessively injurious to the inhabitants , and especially to those who frequent publie worship in such chapels and churches . God , decency , and health forbid this shocking abomina-¦

      tion . * * * * From long observation I can attest that churches and chapels situated in graveyards , and those especially within whose walls the dead are interred , are perfectly unwholesome ; and many , by attending such places , are shortening their p assage to tbe house appointed for tbe living . What increases the iniquity of this abominable and deadly work is , that the burying grounds attached to many churches and chapels are made a source of private gain . The whole of this preposterous conduct is as indecorous and unhealthy as it is profane . Every man should know that the gas which is disengaged from pv , trid flesh , and particularly from a human body , is not only unfriendly to , but destructive of , animal life . Superstition first introduced a practice whicli selfinterest and covctousness continue to maintain . "

      Leiiii , —Noble Conduct , —As the Custom House officers were on their usual rounds , about ten o'clock on Wednesday night , their attention was attracted by a violent plunge in the dock ; on hastening to the spot they heard some one struggling in the water .., It was very dark at the time , and thesno _> _v and ice made tbe edges ofthe quay very slippery and dangerous . Unfortunately , neither ropes nor lights were at hand , and the very anxiety- to procure them ( assistance by boats being out ofthe question ) , and the helplessness of the drowning man , who had twice sunk for some moments , seemed to cut off all hope of saving him , and rendered the scene painfully exciting . At this moment , James Camic , one of the Custom House boatmen , bravelv leapt into the water and caught the

      unfortunate man in the act of sinking for the third , and in all likelihood the last time , and succeeded , after great ' exertion , in fastening a rope ( which was now procured ) round hia waist , by which he was drawn up , and conveyed on boar , the Albion , from Ichaboe , to which'vessel he belonged , where restoratives were applied which happily proved effective , although he 18 still in aprecarfous state . Carnie was afterwards got out . although in a very chilly state , and was compelled to walk nearly a mile in his wet clothes , which were partially frozen when he reached his home . Sueh conduct deserves something more than the simple approbation of the public ; such men do honour to the service they are m _, and for such acts of humanity rewards / properly bestowed , would prove a powerful stimulus to further and , if possible , greater exertions . —Mn & urgft _Advertiser ,

      ¦Nrwfl*

      ¦ nrwfl *

      Curious Epitaphs.. Tiik Following Epitap...

      CURIOUS EPITAPHS . . Tiik following epitaph of a blacksmith is to bc found ih Gainford church-yard : — My sledge and hammer are declined , - 3 fy bellows have quite lost their . wind , My fire ' s extinct , my forge decayed , My vices in the dust arc laid , ' My coal is spent , m . v iron's gone , My nails are drove , my work is done . My fire-dried corpse lies here at rest , . My soul ( smoke-like ) soared to be hlest . r . riT . irn is Twickenham _cmmcii-YARu . Here lie I , Killed by a sky-Rocket in the eye . _"fiPITAPU BY A WIDOW OX 1 IEU I 1 USBANI > . Thou wcrt too good to live on earth with me , And I not good enough to die with thee .

      EriTAPH Off A TIPPLING LADY . Her clay beneath this marble lies , "Whose soul wc trust ascends the skies : She , doubtless , for her taste and merits , Is happy in the world of spirits , « _Mon-esTY . —A gentleman advertises in a New York paper for board in a quiet genteel family , where there are two or three beautiful and accomplished voung ladies , and where liis society " will be deemed a * sufficiency for board , lodging , washing , and other et cetcvas . The Jolly Trabe of Humbug .- —If n man wishes to enjoy himself for once ( says an old proverb ) , let him kill a fat fowl ; if for a year , let him take a wife ; but if he would , live joyously all the days of his life , then let him turn priest .

      The Evils of " Simile Blessedness . " —Poets have sung the praises of matrimony in many a sweet strain , that— Marriage , rightly understood , Is to the virtuous and the good A paradise below—To the fair sex especially the immortal "Will himself thus addressed some wise suggestions , for he tells them that-Earthier , happier , is the rose distilled , Than that , which withering on the virgin thorn , Grows , lives , and dies in single blessedness . Matters of f act , however— " great facts "—arc , aa proofs of any position , of more weight than all the worshippers of the nine ever wrote . The following matter of fact , therefore , is worthy of being univer

      sally made known , and stereotyped over the mantlepiece of every bachelor's dormitory in the united kingdom . The metropolitan commissioners of lunacy have lately procured and published , under the authority of Parliament , tabular returns of all the lunatics confined in asylums in Great Britain and Ireland , containing some interesting details not usually given in such papers . After one of the tabular returns appears the following paragraph : ¦—•* Tlic first of these two tables is very interesting . Of the male patients , 15 in the 100 were married , 79 in the 100 , or about four-fifths , -were single , and six -widowers . But among males aged 18 and upwards , two-thirds are certainly in tho married state , and it would appear ? that the tendency to insanity is ten times as great among bachelors as , among married men . All the returns exhibit similar proportions . "—Now , it may be true that , according to the old

      song-Happy and free are a bachelor's revelries— . Cheerily , merrily , passes his life ; Nothing knows he of connubial devilries , Troublesome children and clamorous wife ; but , at the same time , if he wishes to preserve the mens sana in corpore saw , the metropolitan commissioners of lunacy have clearly proved that he ought to eschew celibacy and get through matrimony ' s turnpike as quickly as he can . Fulness op Joy . —A gentleman observed to his wife that she was beautiful , dutiful , youthful , plentiful , and an armful . . Amemcan Tombstone . — " Sacred to tho remains of Jonathan Thompson , a pious Christian and an affectionate husband . His disconsolate widow continues to carry on the tripe-and-trotter business at the same place as before his bereavement . " How to Prevent " Fits . "—Buy a coat of Moses and Son . —Punch .

      ¦ A Tedious Courtship . —Thc Rev . John Brown , of Haddington , the well-known author of thc self-interprcting Bible , was a man of singular bashfulness . In token ofthe truth of this statement I need only state that his courtship lasted seven years . Six years and a-half passed away , and the rev . gentleman had got no further forward than he had been the first six days . This state of things became intolerable ; a step in advance must be made , and Mr . Brown summoned all his courage for the deed . " Janet , " said he , as they sat in solemn silence , " we ' ve been acquainted now

      for six years and mair , and I ' ve ne ' er gotten a loss yet ; d ' ye think I may take one , my bonnie girl ?" "Just as you like , John , only be becoming and proper wi' it . " " Surely , Janet , we'll ask a _1 ) lessing . " The blessing was asked—tbe kiss was taken , and the worthy divine , perfectly overpowered with the blissful sensation , mostrapturously exclaimed * . — " 0 ! woman . But it 18 gude—we'll return thanks . " Sb : months made tbe pious couple man and wife , and , added his descendant , who humorously told the tale , a happier couple never spent a long and useful life together .

      Ik Tin-. Pou-sn . —'' How much can you pay _ua ? What can you offer in thc pound ? " demanded the importunate creditors of a bankrupt farmer . " Alas gentlemen ! " replied the mined clodpole , " all I really have is a donkey in the pound '" Courtship , — A __ man , to be successful in love , should think only of his mistress and himself . Rochefoucauld observes , that lovers are never tired of each other ' s company , because _tlioy arc always .. talking of themselves . A Useful Horse . —A gentleman having a horse that started and broke his wife's neck , a neighbouring squire told him ho wished to buy it for his ivife , to ride upon . " No , " said the other , ;< I will hot sell it , I intend to marry again myself . "

      The Use of the w may , and frequently does , arise from an inability to pronounce the letter r . ; those who labour under this inability invariably substitute a w . Tims a lady told meat Cambridge that . " Wichard had got some twacts . which Mr . _Carc-rwus ( Carus ) had given him , and he was to go to Twinity for some more . " The line , "Around the rugged rocks , the ragged rascals run their rural race , " by such persons is pronounced , "Awound the wugged _wocks the wagged wascals wim their wure-wail wace . " WELL _MA-TCHKlft . If Albert , for his princely luck , Is truly called " the Hoyal buck , " lie ' s matched right well , for , without fuss , He has a mate who'll doe for us . *

      A Nation of Humbugs . —Everything for the million buttheright . " Turtle for thc million , " " Polka for the million , " is succeeded by " Blanc-mange for the million . " This must be cheering news for labourers who cannot procure bread , ' and also cheering to Fcrrand , inasmuch as it goes to confirm his assertion , that England is become a nation of humbugs . TnitEE Wonders of Wombs . —First , at fifteen they wonder who they shall take . Second , at twenty-five they wonder they are not taken . And thir'dj at tnhtyh ' ve * they . ln-ander who they can find that ' . will take them .

      Old Generals are a very expensive commodity . to any country that happens to be blessed with man _^ _. ' of them . The late Sir Hemy Grey was above sixty years in the service , all the time , of course ; receiving pay from the country . Heroes ought not to be longlived , otherwise they are apt to ; absorb ihe people ' s resources to an alarming extent ; whereas , if they are cut off in the midst of their days , the saving is considerable , and the glory just the same . . N . N . E . —The north-oast winds havo prevailed during tbe greater part of the week . An asthmatic correspondent has expressed a fervent dean * tbat tbe north-east wind should possess the property of the great American alo < _2—only to blow once in a hundred years ! Orthography of Names . —An amusing example of the obscurity of our common mode of spelling was exhibited some years ago in a court of justice . A _trontleman beine in courtwhose name the judge did

      , not recognise , was requested to spell his name , which lie ran off veiy quickly in the following manner : — " 0 , double T , I , double U , E , double li , double U , double 0 , D . " " 0—double—If you please-sir , " said the judge , " will you have tbe goodness to repeat it ? " Again the gentleman rattled off his name as before— " 0 , double T , I , double U , E , double L . double U , double 0 , D . " " Double , double , double , " exclaimed the judge , we cannot make anything of it . Pray have the goodness to give us one letter at once . The ' gentleman repeated liis riddle of a name , letter by letter , and it produced the veritable name of Ottiwell Wood . —[ From the Phonographic Star , an interesting monthly magazine , done in lithographed Phonography . ] ! Giving Wahxing . —A gentleman , who did not live very happily with his wife , on the maid telling-biro that she was going to give her mistress warning , as she kept scolding her from morning till night"Happy girl ! " said the master , "I wish I could give warning too I" .

      Eugene Sue has-already commenced another novel , to _bewailed the "Seven Cardinals Sins , ' ' which is to appear when the " Jew" has ceased his wanderings . M . Sue gets tbe enormous sum of £ 4000 for a novel . A Ticklish Question . —When tbe Liege was riding to battle at the of troops , ; he was asked by a spect a minister of religion , could engage in war ? " "I wage war , " _jreplied the character of prince , not of archbishop continued the intci _* rogator , " when off tlic prince , " what mil become — . — ¦

      , Pi^Ce-Bisliopoof/" S Bead Of A Fihewdy...

      , Pi _^ ce-BisliopOof /" bead of a _fihewdy ' -jV aWr _; KHowh _^ _a- - ; the iniquities-ofprelat _^ in ' my ¦ . _^„*^ Anu / p _» y , " the devil carries - pfthe _^ _arohtoliop- ? " ; , ,, _„ _i _P- _^ _ce-BIshoj-Cof / _- ' - v _ead of a fih _^ body _\ Sf \ _ifte _^ _mqulties- _'of •¦>•*• _prelatoeVv _^ m my ' " * _p _^ _p ioVpray _/ " _, i the devil carries - - ' . _" ' » .. i . _e-V-Lw _' . _^ - ' _l- - ' _- . _;""' --¦ - '¦ - . Il _VW _,- ' _- _.-.- — - I _.-X-., ' . _- . _?¦** > . " - I / W _; V .- - -. IV ¦( ,. ; . . * - _? - [ v _\<^| _l _|^ V _.. '* ' .-" _VgMJJ- ' ' '''

  • Citation
    • Northern Star (1837-1852), Feb. 8, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_08021845/page/3/