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ttoTBMBBB 8, 1845. THE NORTHERN STAR. 3
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-Potfr g*
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- ***" BEAUTIES OF BYRON. so. XVIII. "CB...
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3Ubjetak ^
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THE PURGATORY OF SUICIDES. A Pbisoji Hht...
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TAITS EDINBURGH MAGAZINE. November. Edin...
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GEORGE CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE-BOOKNovember. ...
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THE CONNOISSEUR: A Monthlv Recohd op thb...
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WADE'S LONDON REVIEW—NovraoaB. I* ndon: ...
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PUNCH. Part XII. London: Punch office, 9...
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THE MEDICAL TIMES. It is now some time s...
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Publications Received.—Cooper's Novels (...
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THE ANDOVER UNION. . Anooveu, Monoay, Nov. 3.
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Saturday was a day of triumph to the tne...
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Alleqeu Extensive Swindling.—Two men are...
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Mit Mm. -_,__.-._. ._—VwWV-^*-V^ V-_*W^W*^^- *^' -'k^>^' W%A ' /W
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Politeness Reciprocated.—A criminal was ...
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
Ttotbmbbb 8, 1845. The Northern Star. 3
_ttoTBMBBB 8 , 1845 . THE NORTHERN STAR . 3
-Potfr G*
-Potfr g *
- ***" Beauties Of Byron. So. Xviii. "Cb...
- _*** _" BEAUTIES OF BYRON . so . XVIII . " _CBD-PE _HA-WID . " _^ 01 l 3 & om , _-neei notbe tohate _^ _manMnd _: in aw notfit with them to stir and toil , _^ X _itdiscon tentto keep the mind _« _l , initsfoimtain , lestitover-boa _" \ Lhot throng ; where we become the spoil nf onr infection , till too late and long Z s " _^ deplore « nd struggle with the con , Vfe » " ¦> _J- — _-. _nliontrt . nf vmmtr -finn _tt-t _^ t .-. chedin terchange of wrong for
- _"" _^ wrong _rist a contentious world , striving where none are stron g _, -rwp in a moment , we may plunge our years SSl > i tence , and in the blight rtf onr own soul , mm aU our blood to tears , ir _, a colour things to come with hues of Night ; Th » race of We * oecomes a hopeless flight -r those that walk in darkness : on the sea , _iL _hoiaeststeerbut where there ports invite , _Sft « e are _^ naerer ? o ' er Eternity wk drives on and on , and anchor _* d ne ' er shafl whose _c _37 _*
T . _Jtaotbetter , then , to be alone , La lave earth only for its earthly sake ! Bv ihe bine rushing ofthe arrowy Rhone , _^ t hepnrebason ofits nursing lake , Wliich feedsit as a mother who doth make » feir bnt firoward _iufaut her own care . _jisdng its cries away as these awake _;—Isit notbetterthus our lives to wear , ' jj . _^ join the crashing crowd , doom'd to inflict on bear ! 1 fire not _inmysfilf , but I become Por tion of thataround me ; and to me _jjglj mountains are afeeling , but the hum nf human cities torture : I can see
- _ j tliuig to loatbe in nature , save to be _i link relnetantina fleshly chain , Class'd among creatures , when the soul can flee , _inS with the sky , the peak , the heaving plain pf ocean , or the stars , mingle , and not in vain . loi dms I am absofb'd and this is life : Hook npon the peopled desert pas _^ is on a place of agony and strife , where , for some sin , to sorrow I was cast , Jo act and suffer , but remount at last _-jjrjth a -fresh pinion j which I fed to spring , Thoug h young , yet waking vigorous , as the blast winch it would cope with , on delighted wing , _jpgnung the day-cold bonds" which round onr being cling .
And when at length , _themind shall be all free _Jrom what it hates in tliis degraded form , Reft of its carnal life save what shall be Existent happier in the fly and worm , — When elements to elements conform , And dust is as it should be , shall I not Peel all I see , less dazzling , bnt more warm ; The bodiless thought ! The Spirit of each spot ? Cf which , even now , I share at times the immortal lot ! Are not the mountains , waves , and sides , a part Of me and of my soul , as I of them I Je not fhe love of these days in my heart _Wjth a pure passion I Should I not contemn AU objects if compared with these ? and stem A tide of suffering , rather than forgo Such feeling for tbe hard and worldly phlegm Of those whose eyes are only turn'd below , _Ca-jugupon the ground , with thoughts which dare not glow ?
BOUBSEAU . Here the self-torturing sophist , wild Rousseau , The apostle of affliction , he who threw Enchantment over passion , and from woe Wrung overwhelming eloquence , first drew Tbe breath which made him wretched ; yet he knew How to make madness " beautiful , and cast O'er erring deeds and thoughts a heavenly hue Cf words like sunbeams , dazzling as they past lhe _ejes , winch o ' er them shed tears feelingly and fast , His love was passion ' s essence—as a tree On fire by lightning ; with ethei-al flame Kindled he was , and blasted ; for to be Thus , and enamonr'd were in him the same . But liis was not the love of living dame _.
Nor of the dead who -rise upon our dreams , Bat of ideal beauty , which became In him existence , and o ' erflowing teems Along Ins burning page , _distemperM though it seems _. This breathed itself to life in Julie , this Invested her with all thats wild and sweet ; Thishallow 'd , too , the memorablekiss Which every morn bis fever _* d lip would greet , Prom hers , who but with friendship his would meet ; But to that gentle touch , tlirough brain and breast Plash'd the thrilled spirits love devouring heat ; In tbat absorbing sigh perchance more blest Than vulgar minds may be with all tbey seek possest , His life was one long war with self-sought foes , On friends by him self-banish'd ; for his mind . Had grown supicion ' s sanctuary , and chose
Tor its own cruel sacrifice the kind , - 'Gainst whom he raged with fury strange and blind . Bnt he was phrensied , —wherefore , who may know I Since cause might be which skill could never find ; Bathe was phrensied by disease or woe ToiM worst pitch of all , which wears a reasoning shew . Tor then he was inspired , and from bim came As from the Pythian ' s mystic cave of yore , Those oracles which set the world on flame , Hor ceased to burn till kingdoms were no more : Did he sot fhittor Prance ? wliich lay before Bow * d to tbe inborn tyranny of years I Broken and trembling to the yoke she bore , TiU by tbe voice of him and his compeers , _Honsecl np to too much wrath , which follows o _' ergrown fears I
They made themselves a fearful monument ! The wreck of old opinions—tilings which grew , Breathed from the breath of time ; the veil they rent , And what behind it lay , all earth shall view . But good with iU they also overthrew , Leaving but ruins , wherewith to rebuild "Upon the same foundation , and renew Dungeons and thrones , which the same bonr _refiU'd , As heretofore because ambition was self-wiU'd . But this wiU not endure , nor be endured 1 _llankina have felt their strength , ana made itie-lt . Ihey might have used it better , bnt , aBured By their new -vigour , sternly have they dealt On one another ; pity ceased to melt "With her once natural charities . Bnt they "Who in oppression ' s darkness caved have dwelt , They were not eagle ' s , _nourish'd with the day 5 What marvel then at times , if they mistook their prey !
3ubjetak ^
3 _Ubjetak _^
The Purgatory Of Suicides. A Pbisoji Hht...
THE PURGATORY OF SUICIDES . A _Pbisoji Hhtme ej Tex Books . By Thomas Cooper , the Chartist . London : J . How . 132 , _Ileet-street .
( _GmtinuedfromtheStarofNov . 1 st . ) The "Ninth Book" is Mef , consisting of but some fifty stanzas . Tie characters who figure therein ar e exdusrrelyfemale , —Porcia , Abbia , the wife of Aedrubal , the Carthaginian , _Sophbonia , and Babuxa , the Jewess . The " Book" opens with a prison scene , in which a woman , with an infant child , comes to bid farewell to her " felon" husband . _^ Tis Woman ' s voice!—woman in wailful grief , Joined by her babe's scarce conscious sympathy . — Thy wife hath come to take her farewell _briefc Gaunt felon!—brief and bitter must it be Tor thy babe ' s mother—since the wide salt sea ilust _roU , for life , its deep , dark _gulph between Thee , convict—and that form of agony ! Poor wretched thing 1 well may she wail , I ween
And wring her hands , and wish that she had never been "Xet me have one last Hss of my poor babe 1 " He saith , and clingeth to the grate . Oh 1 how The tun _ key _* s answer wiB his bosom stab !—• "Away!—we open not the bars I "—and , lo ! They push him rnddy back!—he may not know "What baleful bliss it gives , to clasp a child Or wife , ere one must yield them to life ' s woe . Ah ! little had that kiss Ids grief beguiled"Bnt , rather , filled liis soul with after-throes more wild . She fainteth!—yet awakes to moan _andjweep !—How little didst thou think that smiling morn Thou didst , so early and so eager , peep ; ___ ntq thy mirror , and thy breast adorn "With virgin rase—so soon the sorrow-thorn "Would there have pierced !—that thon , in two short ¦
years , "Wooldst see thy husband in that dress of scorn—And turn—a widowed bride—a thing of tears—. from that stern grate , forlorn , to meet the world' s rude - " " jeers ! Poor sufferer ! how wilt thou the future brook !—To drudge from morn to eve _forbtggar's bread;—To hear thy ragged child receive rebuke Tor bis ore's sons—that on the exile ' s head Already fill faU sore ;—to see him shed Tears whenbe asks for food , and thou hast none To stop hiB hunger - —then , to make thy bed With , -turn npon the heath or moorland lone—Unlets , for infamy , thon tak ' st the rich man ' s boon !
Tfbat misery—hadst thon never been a bride—Thy heart had shunned!—Yet , thon wilt fondly cling "Unto the memoiy of thy love—nor chide , " _Efnby a thought , in deepest suffering , His error , who did thy young joy-bloom bring To desolation ! IU requited love Was thine , ev ' n from the bridai-reTdlingyet , thou forgavest all , nor didst _reprore lhe wild excess which oft thee nigh to madness drove , — - Yery beautiful is the foUowing apostrophe to _traaaa : — ~ Qb woman ! how fb j truest worth is slighted _;—jhj tenderness how often met with hate : — Thy fondest purest hopes how often blighted : — How _Tfy" _, the tyrant , lords it o'er thy fate , Yet feigns for thy benign behest to wait _;—2 ow jealously he guards tby faithfulness , _& iia forms a censure on tby every state—Thy chastity terns coldness , —thy caress _WeakfocKng ; stratagem , or grosser love ' s exceM !
The Purgatory Of Suicides. A Pbisoji Hht...
Oh , woman ! fairest , frailest , sweetest flour Of Nature ' s garden , what rude storms thee bend ! Thy heart—thou priceless , peerless , matchless dower Of Nature ' s treasury—what sufferings rend ! How meanly men , through selfishness , contend To pamper thee—how silkenly their lays Of loTe they lisp to gain their gnilty end ; How sensually man lauds thy beauty ' s blaze ;—How heartlessly deserts thee in its dimmer days ; . Oh , woman ! what anxieties destroy The bliss thou dreamest none can take away , "When hushing thy soft care , thy cradled joy ;—How Time the blessings thy fond hopes pour tray Oft turns to curses , and tby heart a prey To keenest woe becomes—maternal woe That , like maternal love , the human clay iloTes more intensely than severest throe , Or most ecstatic thrill that mortal bosoms know "
How thy best children , "Woman , testify A mother ' s worth , —attributing their zest For enterprize , or love of good , to thy Exalting nurture ! O let him attest A mother ' s worth—that Titan of the West—Unequalled Washington ! And if such men , That dwarf princes , vigour from thy meek breast " Now draw , Woman . what will thy Bom be when Man looks on thee no longer with the tyrant ' s ken * When chivalry ' s false homage is forgot , — When eastern jealousy no more immures And renders thee a vernal idiot , — "When thy young purity no villain-lures Are spread to blemish , —when thy mind matures In freedom , and thy soul can make its ehoice , Untrammelled , unconstrained , where heart assures The heart it is beloved , —shall not thy voice And loek restore to Earth its long-lost Paradise !
That Mind is of no sex , —when thou art freed , Thy thought-deeds shall proclaim : our Edgeworth ' s sense , Onr Baillie ' s truthful skiU , Felicia ' s meed Of grace with perfectest mellifluence Of music joined , —or thy magnificence Of heart and reason , Keeker's glorious child : Problems shall be no more : Woman ' s intense Inherent claim to mind-rank , when befoiled No more by Man , she will display with glow unsoiled . And when her e ' lildren see her move in joy , ' And yet in truest dignity , —no more A slave , —no more a drudge , —no more a toy 'When from her lips of love her spirif s store Of high ennobling wisdom she doth pour Into her _offi-pring _* _. * ears , —into their eyes , Ere speech he learnt , looks Nature ' s purest lore Of truth and -virtue , —shall not Man arise Prom error , —nurtured thus , —and loftiest good devise ! ( To be continued . )
Taits Edinburgh Magazine. November. Edin...
_TAITS EDINBURGH MAGAZINE . November . Edinburgh : W . Tait . London : Simpkin and . Marshall . All who desire to know the real character of the much-lauded Nelson , will do well to read the excellent review of the "Dispatches and Letters" of that "hero , " which opens tiie present number of Tait From these * ' Dispatches , " & c ., the reader will learn hew small , indeed , are the claims of the victor of the Nile and Trafalgar to be enrolled in the list of England ' s worthies . His courage and skill as a great sea-captain cannot be questioned ; but as a negotiator he was contemptible , and he possessed none of the abilities requisite for a statesman . His hatred of the French was'unbounded ; and , with regard "' to that nation , he was throughout his life actuated by
the most ignorant , bigotted , and contemptible national prejudices . He was a besotted admirer of kings ; and no matter hew despicable or infamous a king might be , Nelson would have unhesitatingly shed the blood of myriads to preserve the power or glut the vengeance of his royal protege . This he showed by his support of the infamous Neapolitan king and court . His murder of Caraccioli has left an eternal stain upon his name which all the lies and subterfuges of corrupt and lickspittle writers will fail to efface . His disgraceful connection with the notorious Lady Hamilton reduced him to the lowest state of moral degradation in his public as well as private character . Yet to such a man are statues
raised ! Forty years have only elapsed since Nelson fell , and his fame already wanes . We may safely predict that the end of another , forty years will see his reputation at a very low ebb indeed . ' This number contains the commencement of ah American romance by Colonel Johnson , entitled "Jenny Basket , " a tale ofthe revolutionary war , and a welltold tele it promises to be . " The Life of Mozart " is an excellent review of Jfr . Holmes ' s biography of that wonderful genius . "The Life of Mozart" is another chapter added to the melancholy record of the sufferings of Nature ' s nobles , and the cruelty , tyranny , and meanness of those usurpers , who'by birth , force , and fraud , have acquired and held supremacy amongst men .
'Tis true 'tis pity , and pity 'tis . 'tis true . " Notes on Gilfillan ' s ' Gallery of Literary Portraits , ' " by Thomas De _Quincey , is an exceedingly interesting article . The subjects of the "Notes " this month are Godwin and John Foster . The latter appears to have been much overrated . "We anticipate great pleasure from the continuation of these " Notes . " By-the-by , in looking through the list ofthe GilfiUan Pbrfraits , we are surprised to find the omission of such names as Byron , Moore , Dickens , and Jerrold . "Why ia this ? Madame Wolfensbergek ' _b "Letters from Naples" exhibit in startling colours the wretched and degraded state of the people of that country , caused mainly by the withering influence of the Catholic priesthood .. Some lengthy extracts will be found from these " Letters " in our Seventh page , under the head of " Foreign Movements ; " in addition to which we here insert the following illustrations of the deplorable _SBPEB 8 TITI 0 N OF TBE NEAPOLITAN _FEASANTET .
The following adventure occurred last year to an Italian friend of ours , who himself recounted the par . ticulars to ns : — On the arrival of this gentleman with a friend on " a sketching tour at the small village of Cerito , amidst the mountains behind Capua , he engaged two little boys to carry his portfolio and drawing materials , and at once set ofi _^ thus accompanied , in . search of a . subject ibr the exercise of bis pencil . Some time elapsed before he decided on a point of view ; and , in order to do so , he made several circuits amongst the hills , which apparently excited suspicion to his disadvantage . Some hours passed away , and the mother of the boys , who was ignorant that they had left home with a stranger , began to be anxious at . their unusually long absence , and ran about the village demanding news of her children from her different neighbours . _,
At that moment a man arrived from the bills , who had been a witness ofthe artist ' s proceedings , and , in answer to her inquiries , he bluntly told her " that she might cease her clamour , for her children were irretrievably lost . "So efforts of hers could save them , " he added , " for they were in the power of a sorcerer , who had carried them off to murder them for the purposes of his incantations . He had seen him with the boys forming his mystenons circles ; and by this time , no doubt , it was all over with them . " The horror of the woman at tbis information , the truth of which she never doubted for an instant , surpassed all words . She called on her neighbours to revenge tbe death of her innocent babes ; she ran from house to house , summoning the peasantry to join her in extirpating the monster frem the land ; and the clamour for revenge spreading from cottage to cottage , like the extending circles around a stone cast into deep water , the whole population of the district was ere long in a state of insurrection .
The gentleman , meanwhile , unconscious of the tumult his movements had excited , was quietly making a drawing upon the mountain above the village . But however deeply engaged by his occupation , he could not fell at length to remark the increasing agitation of the country beneath . He saw the peasantry rushing from their dwellings , and forming together in bands ; a murmur , as of an enraged multitude , ascended even to the high point of rock on which he sat , and he could from time to time distinguish , that those who were assembling carried arms . Vainly he inquired of the children what was the meaning of this extraordinary commotion , nor was ittill he saw tbe multitude dosing around him on every side , and mounting the hills towards the spot where he was drawing , that a suspicion flashed on his mind , that he was the object of the people ' s rage . Fortunately , understanding their dialect , he was warned of his danger , by distinguishing the word sorcerer , frequently repeated , nnited with threats of violence , as the crowd approached .
He looked round for the children , considering that their safety would prove the best evidence of the innocence of his intentions , bnt they had already disappeared ; and as huge stones , cast by those who had clambered to the rocks above , began to fidl around him , and a countless _threngof male aud female peasants , in every variety of wild ana ragged attire , drew nearer and nearer , some armed with guns , some with sticks and stones , and implements of husbandry , ond aU uttering the most hideous yells and threats of vengeance , he , and the young friend who was Ms companion , thought there was no disgrace in at once taking to flight . Deserting portfolios , sketchbooks , and stools , they therefore ran off with the utmost rapidity . Most fortunately they took the road towards the village , for the people believing they would endeavour to escape in an opposite direction , to gain the interior of the country , had disposed themselves on the further side of the hill in an ambush , iato which , had our friends fallen , they would probably never have escaped alive .
They had not fled far , before they met the magistrate of the village , with a party of gens-d ' _armes _, proceeding to investigate the cause ofthe disturbance , and put it down by force , if necessary . They lost not a moment in claiming his protection against an attack , of the cause of whieh they had only a vague suspicien , This was immediately and courteously granted , and the magistrate proceeded without delay to inquire the crime with which the stranger was charged . It was , however , in vain that he sought to convince the people of their error . Even after the return ofthe children , they obstinately persisted in their belief of the gentleman ' s bad intentions ; and one old wamsn , who had armed herself with a rusty fowlingpieee , was with difficulty prevented firing on them . Though the tumult was allayed by the strong arm of uthority , it may readily be supposed , that our friend
Taits Edinburgh Magazine. November. Edin...
made no more sketches in that neighbourhood , and kit no time in returning to a more civilized district , where , even , if the belief in incantations be still retained , it bat not _sutScieat influence to excite the populace to insurrection and murder . In all his excursions since this adventure , he has lodged , when possible , in a monastery ; and for one or two days before he commenced sketching , has taken care to show himself in company with some pf the holy fraternity , to put at reBt all doubts of his sanctity . He has likewise procured a letter from the police in Naples , in virtue of which he can obtain an escort in all dangerous cases .
It is well that strangers should be made aware of such a state of things , for this is not a solitary instance of outrageous superstition amongst _thepeasantry . A very short time has elapsed since an Englishman was attacked in a similar manner whilst sketching between -Salerno . and Prestum . He had enticed no children from their home ; no meditated murder could be brought to his charge ; and yet the people were as -firm ] y » convinced that he . was a sorcerer , as if he had called the whole mysterious science of necromancy into action . Unfortunately , whilst he was engaged in _sketching , it began to rain in : orrents , and the ignorant people at once accused him of being the cause of the change of weather . The next day , at the samehour , the same thing occurred , and their murmurs were redoubled ; but when , on the third day , the stranger was compelled to pack up his drawing materials by the fury ofthe storm , he found himself surrounded by an armed populaee , who threatened him with immediate
des traction . Ignorant of their language , he understood not the cause of their clamour . For a while the people stood aloof , for they believed he bore a charmed life ; till atlength a woman , more furious than the rest of her companions , flung a kind of axe at him , which wounded him severely about the hip . The mob no sooner saw that he was vulnerable , then the attack became general . Sticks , stones , and hatchets flew on every side : and it was with the utmost difficulty that he succeeded in flyings short distance before his infuriated pursuers . Finding the door ofa house open , he rushed in for protection ; and most fortunately it was the residence of the principal magistrate ofthe place . This person , being sufficiently well informed tobe aware of the injury done to the neighbourhood by such events , anxiously sought to repair the evil . About adozenofthemobwereimmediatelyarrested , and brought into the presence ofthe wounded man ; and when questioned as to what had provoked their outrage , they all clamourously repeated the accusation of sorcery .
George Cruikshank's Table-Booknovember. ...
GEORGE _CRUIKSHANK'S TABLE-BOOKNovember . London : Punch Office , 92 , Fleetstreet . This is an excellent number of the Table-Boole The opening article , by the Editor , on " Railway Calls , " is accompanied b y two admirable illustrations . The first representing " Mr . John Buij . in a Quandary , or the anticipated effects of the Railway Calls . " The multitude of figures in this plate is truly astonishing . John Buil is represented seated in his arm-chair , perfectly overwhelmed with a multitude of railway imps , who have assailed him to make good their " calls . " One party are represented surrounding John's head and shoulders , and , with their open-stretched mouths , are screaming their demands into his ears . One imp has taken
possession of poor John ' s hat , another has his wig ; one imp is dragging John's glove off his right hand , anotherhisringoff his left ; onehasgothold of John ' s neckcloth , another his pocket-book , and a third his handkerchief . Several imps are hard at work in extracting his watch and _sealB , and several more his purse . One posse are seen running off with his walking-stick , another are dragging his boots off . Two aire engaged bearing off Ms decanter of port , and a whole army are running off with his strong box . Two railway engines are employed , the one in taking off John's cash box , the other in removing his plate . In the fore-ground are a number of lawyer-imps , busy over an oyster-tub , taking in the " natives , very characteristically leaving the " shells" for poor John . To complete the picture ,
there is , in one corner , a _viefr of "Bull Lodge" for sale ; and a rascally-looking auctioneer' is seen " knocking down " -Mr . Bull ' s " effects . "" Over the victim ' s head is ringing the " Railway Bell , " and the whole is crowned by the demon of destruction and despair , who , with the "Railway Times" in each hand , is proclaiming the end of Mr . Bull's " speculations . " The fright , agony , and despair of poor John is admirably depicted in his countenance , which really seems to be life itself . ' The second illustration represents Mr . " John _Btjil in Keeley ' s" celebrated character of " Willibald ; " in the extravaganza of the " Bottle Imp . " Of course the imp in the bottle is the railway imp , — " Scrip , " John is bawling out ; " "Who'll buy a bottle ? " * ''Oh ! do buy a bottle ! " -The ludicrous figure ke' euts 'is laughable beyondall description . ' In the ' excellent article , by the Editor , speaking of the probable 1
situation of John Bull in a * few months hence , the writer says : — "Calls will literally tear him to pieces , and there will not be an articleke possesses tbat the great interests of locomotion _^ will not carry . away from him . A grand trunk will run away with his strongbox ; a junction of some kind' or . other will tear his coat in-two ; some stupendous'cutting will cutaway with his'cash-box : a tremendous tunnel will run-through all he has ; and excavations on an extensive scale will empty all his pockets . " * * * " When this period arrives , instead of a struggle to get hold of scrip , there will bean eagerness to get rid ofit . The last possessor-will be the unhappy . victim to all its liabilities , and every man will go about like the unfortunate individual who had' bought tlie " Bottle Imp , " and could only transfer itshorrid re-, _sponsibilities by getting hold of another purchaser . " The article concludes with the following
EPIGRAM . ¦¦ '¦ - _ ' - _•'*• . ; The engineers who are _retain'd , TomakeaBurveyofabubble ; ' : ' '' ' - Now , the delusion'is explained , < - ¦ - ¦ ¦• Maysave themselves a world of trouble . ** Since knavish schemes have got a shake By their _impssture being knownlevels there is no need to take , ¦ _¦ ' ¦¦ _'• The railways having found their own . The "Legend of the Rhine" is drawing to a conclusion , the chapter in this number is very good . The " Old English Gentleman in a . New Light" does not exhibit that somewhat fabulous character Jn a very enviable light , . but , on the contrary , inavery miserable plight . . " Recreations in Natural History " _giye . some amusing " travellers tales" of the Munchausen order . The remaining contents are readable .
The Connoisseur: A Monthlv Recohd Op Thb...
THE CONNOISSEUR : A Monthlv Recohd op thb Fine Abts _, Music , and ihb Drama—November . London ; E . Mackenzie , 111 , Fleet-street , This publication has one fault , which , if persevered in , will be very likely to produce afatal result . The fault is neither the want of talent nor ignorance of judicious literary arrangement . The illustrations are faultless , and the contents are ever unexceptionable : yet is there " ae wee faut" which marks and mars every number—mars it , at least , in the eyes ol many , —tne Connoisseur is honest . ' The Connoisseur does not speak the language of a clique , or devote its columns to the glorifying of a few individuals , and the running down of others . The Connoisseur is not an advertising speculation , nor does it seek to win the patronage of artists , composers , musicians , dramatists , actors , managers , and publishers by servile puffing , miscalled criticism . The Connoisseur awards praise to to the humblest , where praise is felt to be
due , and refuses it to the highest where truth and justice command silence or censure . This is honest ; but honesty is " a Tagged virtue , " and much oftener finds its reward in' rags , " than in '' purple and fine linen . " Honest criticism is distasteful to ethers besides composers , managers , publishers , Ac , the reading public themselves do not take well to it . He who would succeed , must , as a general rule , go with the stream , and not seek to guide it ; if he pursues the opposite course the chances are a hundred to one that he is overwhelmed and lost . We do not despair that should the Connoisseur continue its struggle for a time , that surelj , though slowly , it would acquire a class of readers who would not fear to hear the truth , the whole trutli _. and nothing but the truth ; and would give their hearty support to . the . truth-teller . We should be glad to know that that time had already come : in the meanwhile the struggle must be a
s & _vbyq one The principal articles in this month ' s number are on , —1 st . " Amateur Criticism ;"—2 nd . " Holmes ' Life of Mozart ; " —3 d . " The return of Macready ; —and 4 th . " The Modern Classical Drama in France . " These are all excellent ; we must , however , award our highest praise to the first and third . The critiques on the music and theatricals of tne month are both interesting and instructive . The illustration , this month , is a portrait of Nicholas Pousse ., from a picture by himself , drawn on stone by H . C . Maguirb : it is a magnificent print , and will form a fitting companion to the beautiful portrait of MuniLLO , given in the previous number . By-thebye , if the initials do not mislead us , we must conand
gratulate Mr . Maouire on his talent as a writer critic , which is only second to his talent as an artist . This all readers of the Connoisseur , will admit , who , like ourselves , read and enjoy the articles signeed H . C . M . , _ . .- . We hope that the noble portrait gallery of celebrated painters , commenced in thia publication , w _" be continued ; let ns add , that a short sketchot the life and productions of the painter , accompanying his portrait , would be welcome . We hope the editor oi the Connoisseur will take the hint . ' _. ,. , If our readers can appreciate a publication which in its every nuj hber proves itself " _fe ° W enough to be honest , and honest enough to be bold , "—if they « a . admire talent and independence , they will give their support to , and become readers oL tiie Connoisseur .
Wade's London Review—Novraoab. I* Ndon: ...
WADE'S LONDON _REVIEW—NovraoaB . I _* ndon : C . B . Christian , Whitefriar ' s-street , Fleet-Btreet . The contents bf this Review are generally of a substantial and practical character . There is nothing very striking in the present number , the principa l contents of which are "A Traveller ' s Diary , " gi" * S some interesting particulars concerning the famous Russian port , Odessa , a place , notwithstanding its importance , but little known to the inhabitants of
Wade's London Review—Novraoab. I* Ndon: ...
S _« raE » w > Pe : "Talent for the Stage ; " "Obser _sAiLll on _J _> nf ? age ; " a review of "Wakefield ' s _pSV _^ Zealand ; " and "Prose versus S _^ _""n the article on Odessa we give the following extracts : — ' . ' l Odessa lies about 2 , 000 feet above the level of the sea , upon a nearly perpendicular bank of reddish yellow _ochreous and brittle lime , which extends far into the intenor . s other species of stone or mineral is to be seen far and wide in the country ; and this material , the worst for _ouuding , is nevertheless the most commonly used far walls , and flooring of the streets . All the palaces wliich have not yet received their coating of plaster look , on that account , as gloomy and melancholy as ancient Roman ruins ; all the streets are unpaved , and in the fen * instances of foot pavement , where such is the case , the holes and gaps caused by the dislocation of the material inconvenience the passenger still more than a total wantol
pavement . The fatal maxim of the Russian police , to build tonus—for the prevention of infectious maladieswith _streets enormously wide , and houses far off from each other , can nowhere be less applicable than in cold regions / ,. and has moreover the disadvantage , as herein Odessa , of rendering the proper pavement of the streets almost impracticable . In no place in Europe exists , there _, fore , such a terrible dust in the summer , and such an unfathomable mud in tho winter , as in Odessa . Strange as it may appear , it is nevertheless a fact , that even in the severe winter of 1830-1831 several waggons were literary sunk and buried with the men and horses in the deep dirt in the southern end ofthe town , and that the police bad no other means to prevent a similar recurrence of the accident than to choke up altogether the access to that part ofthe town ! ¦ I _aaw a caricature of that fatal accident j representing in the fore-ground those fatal waggons , and in the _back-ground a Frenchman stuck fast over the knees in the mud , exclaiming ; " Ma foi , je me fixe IS !" ( "Jn truth , lam staling _^ here ! " ) '
There are but few Englishmen at Odessa , but a _superaoundance of Jews . The whole of a particular quarter is swarming with them . Their shy , sly , and wandering look , protruding from beneath a skin cap ( which many of them do not leave off even in the hot summer season ); their hair hanging dowh on both sides ofthe face in long curls , the long beard , the dirty apparel , the strikingly uuhealthy blown appearance of their _half-grown children ; impress upon them the indelible stamp of their Oriental origin . Almost all of them speak a corrupted German patois , which is , however , so intermixed with words from nearly all languages that it is with the greatest difficulty one can understand them . Even among the Jews themselves there seem to exist several dialects , by which the _Jewsfrom-.-Brody , e . g ., ; are distinguished from those of Pddoliaand Odessa . In their phraseology they always put the accusative immediately after the verb , which seems to be more derived from the Russian than the Latin .
_Jfext to the Jew , the Russian attracts the notice ofthe stranger . Mostly short , round faces ; frequently turned up noses ; prominent cheek-hones ; a thick , commonly light or red , beard ; the hair of the head cut round horizontally above the neck , in the form of a round wig ; a low hat with a wide brim ; a sort of snrtout reaching far down below the ancles , and tied round the stomach with a red ' woolien girdle ; wide , and folded pantaloons , stuck into a pair of course half-boots ; a thick stick in hand . Such is the appearance of a genuine and national Russian . All porters , sailors , servants , waggoners , ke ,, wear this apparel . Even the hackney-coaches and the national _droshkas seem to have been imported from the interior of Russia . '
The whole article -is interestiag and well worth perusal . The author sums up his description of Odessa in the following not very flattering words : — " Such is Odessa ! The picture we have given is certainly not very inviting j and yet so it is ! Dear , dull , dusty , or dirty , it affords literally no other allurements . butthe opportunity of amassing wealth in a short time , and then depart thence as quickly . " We miss in this number the continuation of "II Vagabondo ; " the authoress of " Leaves torn from a Record of Life , " is also wanting .
Punch. Part Xii. London: Punch Office, 9...
PUNCH . Part XII . London : Punch office , 92 , Fleet-street . _ Inimitable as ever , Punch is above all praise , and , therefore , it would be folly in us to attempt to describe our favourite ' s excellencies . Thanks — heartfelt thanks to Punch for the following : —
. < _- > , NICHOLAS -IMD THE NUNS , By some singular illusion , when the Emperor Nicholas shed tbe lustre of his countenance on this country , itis well known that he was considered the very Apollo of potentates by the femaleportion of the English aristocracy . _¦^ -Beautiftil , yes , and good and gentle women , forgetting theatrocities ofthe man in what is thought the glories of an Emperor , crushed andcrowded for an introduction to the tremendous creature , and if he smiled , or said a soft ivord or two , the happy lady felt her nature sublimated , raised far beyond mere mortal happinesB by tie condescension . English wives and mothers forget the unmanly oppressor of Polish Women—the child _^ _stealer and
the flogger . —W e now take from the Journal des Debats —certainly not the least temperate of French journals as quoted in the Times—an account ofthe murder , and the worse than murder , of forty-seven _PoliBh Catholic nuns , who dwelt in an ancient convent near the town of Minsk . Their duties were as those ofthe Sisters of Charity , " They instructed the children , provided for the widows and aged , and assisted the poor by ihe fruit ' s of their labours . " But . the Emperor Nicholas orders a religion for all his subjects , _asieonjers a uniform for ' his troops ; he is all for the Gree " kChurch ; though indeed , it seems diabolic mockery to . think of him in connexion with any church at all . Well ; theniins wbttld riot apostatise . "
Whereupon"During the night Cossacks surrounded the convent , seized the nuns with the most revolting brutality , bound them with cords , and conducted them thus to Witebesk , nearly twenty leagues frem Minsk , compelling them to walk the entire distance . " " ey were then confined in a convent of schismatical riiins , and remaining firm to their faith , they were forced to perform the most vile offices , and ( hear this , ladies of England ) ' "received regularly every Friday fifty _lasheB . " They were covered with " wounds and sores . " ' They were subsequently compelled to work as labourers to the
masons employed in constructing . the episcopal palace ! Finally all , except , three , sunk beneath their agonies . Three' escaped , ' and' one of them , says the Debats , " the venerable superior , is actually at present in Paris . " This being the case , we put it to those high-born ladies who thronged and fluttered about the man , under whose . rule such atrocities are acted , whether it would not be as well for them to invite over this aged nun to England . Having worshipped the tyrant , they would make some amends for the grievous error by showing the sympathy of true womanhood with one of his thousand woman
victims . Capital are the following imitations : —
, THE . LAMENT . OF THE STATUES . Previously to the determination of the Royal Commissioners to erect statues to the poets in the new Houses of Parliainent , they might as well have consulted the feelings of those personages on the subject , which we suspect would , with a slight difference of expression , he much like those embodied in the following lines . These we have had the imprudence to put in the mouths of the poets , and to imagine each speech inscribed , respectively , on the pedestals of their statues : —
CHADCEll . Good sirs , I marvel what we here maken , Crete folk , certes , be sometimes mistaken , We standen in this stound by much errour , Ne poet was in Parlement before ; We are _fysh out of water , verily , I do net _breathS well this air , perdy , In the Abbaye we weren well enoughe : To put us here in Parlement is stufte .
SPENSER . Troth , brother Chaucer , I am of thy minde , In Parlement I dp not feel at home , Where prating Dullness talks his hearer blinde , And dry Debate doth vainly froth and foam , Folly , not Fancy , from his theme doth roam , And greedy Patriots rave for pence ahd place ; i . Poets are fashioned from another , foam Than heavy marie of Statesmen ' s crawling race , Arid to be here , in faith , meseemeth dire disgrace ,
SHAKBFEABE . Grave _drandsire Chaucer , and good Father Spenser , The judgment your sweet worships have pronounced On the hard mandate , and right stern decree , Which , much misplacing us , hath placed us here , Doth jump with my opinion . Here to 'bide Beneath the pelting of the pitiless Brougham , To suffer Roebuck ' s petulance t'endure The jokeless wit ' of Sibthprp , and to brook The specious eloquence of glozing Peel To any soul alive were Purgatory : — But to the poet ' s ' tis a worser doom . Oh that this monument were o ' er my tomb !
_MltTON . My sentence is for walking off , oh Bards ! Though we be marble . Doth not story old Record how statutes , erst , have breathed aad walked , Instinct with life and motion ? Why relate Pygmalion ' s idol , arid the wife of clay , Pandora , she by cunning "Vulcan wrought For bold Prometheus ? Or , in modern days , The marble man that unto supper came To Seville ' s famous , but immoral Don , Hight Giovanni ? Could I here remain , Heavy debate to list with tortured ear , My Cromwell ' s absence would determine mine . Haste , then , and from your pedestals descend , To stalk abroad with me through London's streets , Dark ' ning with dire alarm the heart of town .
SBYDEN . All British Art Commissions Royal sway , And when they order , sculptors must obey _. This poets find , whose effigies , like ours _. Are called to Parliament by princely powers . Hard it our fate , thus destined to remain Where Noise aad Nonsense hold divided reign , Amid contending politicians' strife , — Who ne ' er ware represented in our life . Oh , that I ne ' er the tuneful lyre had strung ! Was it for thiB , unlucky bard , I sung ! . Blackmore and Shadwell , after ages past , Rejoice ; your injured ghosts are now avenged at last
Punch. Part Xii. London: Punch Office, 9...
POPE . Curst , for ancestral sins , with parts and wit , , The Muse inspired me , and , alas ! I writ ; Oh ! had it been my happy fate to creep With thee , good Dennis , I with thee might sleep ; But immortality no slumber knows , And deathless bards can never taste repose , E ' en though Joe Hume invoke the drowsy God , And Sibthorp bid five hundred heads to nod ; Though Plumptre lull the House to rest profound , And _Bpooner scatter all his poppies round ; And Palmerston compel the frequent wink , Our ears in vain their opiate words will drink . Oh 1 brother Bards , whom Sculpture hither brings , To mix with statesmen , and to herd with Kings : Blend , sole relief ! your marble tears with mine : Would that we ne'er had penn'd a single line ! The above extracts are specimens of the good things in prose and poetry to be found in this part . As to the illustrations , they are Punch's , —what more need be said to proclaim their' excellence ?
The Medical Times. It Is Now Some Time S...
THE MEDICAL TIMES . It is now some time since we noticed this very useful and talented publication , which is more than ever deserving of public patronage . We refer our readers to a highly important article from a recent number , on the prevailing epidemic in potatoes , which will be found in our sixth page .
Publications Received.—Cooper's Novels (...
Publications Received . —Cooper ' s Novels ( Clark , _Warwick-lane ); The "Wandering Jew , Parts 2 , 3 , 4 ( _JClarkl ; Tales of Shipwrecks , Parts 3 , 4 , 5 , 0 ( Clark ); Memoirs of an Umbrella , Part i ( Mackenzie , _Fleet-street ); The Tom Thumb Songster , No . 2 ( Cleave , Shoe-lane ); National Temperance Advocate , November . f '¦ __; . '
The Andover Union. . Anooveu, Monoay, Nov. 3.
THE ANDOVER UNION . . _Anooveu , Monoay , Nov . 3 .
Saturday Was A Day Of Triumph To The Tne...
Saturday was a day of triumph to the tnends of the poor , and therefore one of signal defeat to their foes . At a meeting of the ratepayers of the parish of Andover , held some few days ago , it was resolved to return Mr . Westiake asa member of the towncouncil of the borough , as a compliment to him for his manly , honest , and disinterested conduct in connexion with the recent inquiry into the management ofthe Andover Union , in the face of the vilest and most dastardly attempts of some of the persons in authority to deter him from doing a public duty . Mr . Westlake wascompelled to be absentfrom Andover until Friday , for the purpose of making arrangements for having an interview with the Poor Law
Commissioners , personally , to protest against the misrepresentations of his evidence given before their Assistant by that functionary . During his absence , however , the ratepayers of Andover were not idle , because their invitation to liim to become a member of the town-council was not idly offered ; and , alter a contest severe and animated , Mr . Westiake was . triumphantly returned , to the utter , discomfiture of those guardians whose gross misconduct and neglect of duty rendered the recent inquiry , which he was the instrument of bringing about , both imperatively necessary and highly important . Though several of the guardians are not entitled to vote for town-councillors , they used all the influence and meads they could command to prevent the return of Mr . Westlake . Amongst them were clergymen , whose conduct
as guardians , whether ex officio ov otherwise , was too well known to have much influence among the ratepayers , Bribery and treating were plentifully employed , and all the low scum ofthe town was brought into play against Mr . Westiake . Even a certain noble Lord , who resides at Marlborough , and could have no right to interfere , was prevailed upon to come over to this town to put the screw upon a tenant in favour of the bone-gnawing starvation system . But all in vain . Mr . Westiake was returned by 118 votes , he being the only new candidate returned , and polling only 11 votes under the highest given for the one who _ras at the head ofthe poll . Will not this event speak loudly inreply to the tergiversations ofthe Assistant and Chief Commissioners , and the shuffling statements of the guardians , whose impotence and
improprieties are the more confirmed by it ? Will any of those functionaries again dare to repeat the falsehood , that nine-tenths of the rate-payers were opposed to the inquiry , condemned Mr . Westiake ,. and supported the Poor Law system as carried out at Andover ? Why , Mr . Westiake has been re-elected to a new office which he never sought , by payers , of the poor-rate , voluntarily , simultaneously , and alike honourably to that gentleman and to themselves . Then , again , Mr . Hammond , the medical man whom the guardians are attempting to ; thrust into Mr . Westlake ' s post , was put up as a candidate upon this occasion , in opposition to that gentleman , arid received one vote . M'Dougal was not a candidate , but he and his son-in-law Holly , were very busy , in compariy with a poor lieutenant and the clergy , in fruitless efforts to prevent the electors from exercising their richt of puttine Mr . Westiake in the
towncouncil as one of their represetatives , desiring thereby ' to testify their high sense of his character and conduct as a public servant , and their unequivocal contempt ofthe clique which would rather tolerate profligacy , cruelty , and fraud than honour the man by whose _instrumentality those offences havebeen at least exposed if not visited with the punishment they deserve . Another gratifying result of the recent inquiry is , that at the meeting ofthe guardians held on Saturday , the committee , ; which had been appointed to consider the dietary table , recommended that in future the following additional allowances _shquld be given , being of opinion that they were absolutely necessaiy : —2 oz . of'bread daily ; 4 oz . of bread on soup days ; meat three days in the week , instead of two only ; lllb . of vegetables , instead of three quarters of a pound ; and suet puddings on Sundays . This recommendation was adopted .
Alleqeu Extensive Swindling.—Two Men Are...
_Alleqeu Extensive Swindling . —Two men are at present in custody , under warrants from the sheriff of Lanarkshire , charged with various swindling transactions of a very extensive description . One of them calls himself Captain Paul _M'Gregor , of Seafield House , Arran , and the other is George Ing ) is , a spirit-dealer , in _King-street , Glasgow . The impositions with wbich the parties are charged embrace a great number of cases , and have reference to a multiplicity of articles j but the following are the more important : —Captain Paul M'Gregor , it appears , in the character of the occupant of Seafield House , Arran ( of which , by the way , he is actually the tenant ) , ordered from Mr . Yellowlees , coach-builder , Edinburgh , a fine chariot , valued at - £ 100 , which was received in Glasgow , and the vehicle , it is alleged ,
was forthwith taken to Salford , Manchester , and sold for £ 45 . By a similar order a bull and three cows , of the Alderney and Guernsey breed , were obtained from an agent in England , who , no doubt , entertained the belief that they were to form part of the fancy or ornamental stock of a landed proprietor in Arran ; but , after reaching Glasgow , they were taken to the cattle-market , and , as is alleged , sold for what they would bring . In the possession of one of the prisoners , among other papers which brought to light many of their transactions , was fonnd the invoice of a second chariot from a house in London . Of this vehicle , whicli appears to have been of considerable value , no trace can be found ; and , therefore , as far as has been ascertained , it has never
entered the avenue of Seafield House . Several pianofortes , gold watches , and other articles of value , have also been ordered and received from London ; besides other goods , of the most varied character , being ordered from Edinburgh , Liverpool , Manchester , and other towns . They have even dealt in guano , and quantities of this valuable article have been requested to be sent to Captain Paul M'Gregor , from Liverpool , but we have not ascertained whether the island of Arran has ever been benefitted in an agricultural point of view by its introduction there as a manure . In short , the transactions of the parties were so extraordinary that nothing which could be turned into ready money seems to have escaped their
notice , while they took care to pay nothing themselves , and the authorities having procured information , wliich led them to believe that the whole was a swindle , they are now in gaol to answer for their conduct . Captain Paul M'Gregor appears to have been the individual in whose name the goods were ordered ; but his coadjutor , Inglis , is charged as having been the party chiefly instrumental in disposing of them after they were received . So iar as is yet known they have not favoured Glasgow with any purchases , their transactions being wholly with towns at a distance , and these the sheriff ' s authorities are searching out with great care and assiduity . We may further state that many articles pawned or sold have already been discovered . — Glasgow Argus .
Extensive Forgeries bv a Liverpool Merchant . —On Saturday information was circulated throughout the divisions of the metropolitan and city police , that Mr . Lyon , an extensive merchant in Liverpool , in the Smyrna and American trade , has absconded from that city , having committed forgeries to a very large amount . Mr . Lyon is believed to have quitted Liverpool about Monday or Tuesday week ; but he was not missed until Thursday . It is supposed that he is in , London , and that he intends to quit the country . He is described as about five feet ten inches high , sallow complexion , black bushy hair and whiskers , rather prominent nose , dark eyes , thin face , prominent teeth , thin figure , and very . upright ; dresses generally in a black frock coat , figured silk waistcoat , light trowsew , and black hat , WeUington boots , and black stock , and wears a large shirtpin , and several rings on his fingera-is fond of smoking and is well known in the sporting world .
Highway _Romu-Rr . -Saturdaj * morning , between two and three o'clock , as Captain Watson , residing at No . 29 , Park-place , Peckam New Town , was returning home to his residence , he was attacked by three men in the Commercial-road , Old Eent . road , who suddenly threw him down with great violence , and , while two of them held him down , the third rifled his pockets .
Mit Mm. -_,__.-._. ._—Vwwv-^*-V^ V-_*W^W*^^- *^' -'K^≫^' W%A ' /W
Mit Mm . - _ , __ .-. _ . . __—VwWV-^* _-V _^ _V- __* _W _^ _W _*^^ - _*^' - _'k _^>^' _'
Politeness Reciprocated.—A Criminal Was ...
Politeness Reciprocated . —A criminal was in the county jail awaiting his trial for murder , with a reasohable prospect of conviction . The candidate for the shrivalty called one day to see hira , when tne prisoner , wishing to compliment his visitor , said to nim : ' ¦ If I should be . condemned to be hanged , I know of no one by whom I would rather be hung than by you . " The visitor , acknowledging the compliment , with one ofhis blandest smiles , replied : " And shouldl be elected sheriff , I know of no one I would rather hang than" you . "
, Somnambulism . —An extraordinary case of somnambulism occurred at Chatham BarrackB , a few nights ago , Peter Slight , a young Scotchman , rose from his bed , by some means got into a drain , passed through it for a distance of five hundred feet , emerged from it , and , coming in contact with a post _. fell'down in a fit , in which state he was _discovered , . quite naked , and was conveved to ; the _miUtiry hospital . This was the fourth time he had walked in his sleep . An Old Song . —The King of Denmark is selling one of his colonies , a newspaper paragraph says , " for a mere song . " We _haye made inquiries in the city , and haye ascertained that the song alluded _tphi _* _.-" I ' ve no money . "—Punch .
SONG OF THE RAILWAY MANIAC . ( From Punchii This is my left hand—this is my right ; These are my eyes , my nose , my mouth ; I can discern the day from night : There lies the north , and there the south , Shake not the head , then—cry not" Hush !" Lay not the finger on the lip : Away!—unhand me!—let me rush In quest of Railway shares and scrip . Ha ! ha ! 'Tis you are mad , I say , . You talk to me of Three per Gents ., Consols ? pooh , nonsense ! What are they . You prate of mortgages and rents—I tell you there are no such things :
—Nay , do not threaten chains and whip , — They've flown away with paper wings , I And left us only shares and scrip . What ! Mind my business ? Fellow dear , You'll find yourself in Bedlam soon . Hark!—let me whisper in your ear ;—Look!—there is my business—in the moon ! That ' s where all occupation ' s fled ; Gone , presto ! with hop , jump , and skip ; How , now , then can I earn my bread , Except by railway shares and scrip ? Get in my debts ? Lo , how you rave ! Who thinks of paying what he owes ? No , tell me not that he ' s a knave :. In scrip ai . d shares the money goes . Mark yonder man , he ' s a trustee ,
With other ' s stock in guardianshi p ; Where is it ! Ha , my friend , you'll see—; All sunk in Railway shares and scrip _. Stick to the shop ? What shop ? I ' ve none , Defend me—how the madman stares ! I tell you there ' s no shop but one : The office where they sell you shares . You have a tailor , —want a _cont Go , order it : you'll find a Snip , I'll bet you Sir a ten pound note , Will only measure you for scrip . I am not mad , I am not mad ; See where the shares on wirlwind fly ¦ Off!—give me back the wings I had , To mount and catch them in the sky . Maniac , I say!—you torture me !—You crush me in that Iron grip ; Madmen , away ! and leave me free To chase my railway shares and scrip .
A _Mooert Speculator . —A " nice * foi ! ng man , " who probably wants a few hundreds with which to speculate in railways , advertises his readiness to give twenty pounds to any person having the ability to help him to " a pretty girl with two thousand pounds !" Escape from Quackeey . —A . provincial contemporary informs us that James Webb , a brewer _' sdrayman , has had his "face saved _from-beingeaten away by Holloway ' s ointment and pills I" Holloway won't thank our brother , we should think , for the publication of so damaging a fact . "Pat , Fair , asp Fifteen . "—The young Queen
of Spam is described as having an " immense" arm , a " redundant" bust , and ankles " solid enoughtosupport the golden tower of Seville . " She "waddles " from '' excessive corpulency , _* " and perspires from the fatigue of carrying so much "blubber . " At dinnershe " swallows soup , an entire roast fowl , fish , pastry , sweetmeats , and preserves" ( her passion for " sweets " being preposterous ) . Her education having been neglected , her ignorance' is as gross as her person . Bull Matrimonial . —An Irish gentleman , the other day , in the excess of his connubial affection _^ exclaimed , ¦ _*• Heaven forbid , my dear , that I should ever fti / c to see you a wmow ! " *' ' '•'"'
A Diabolical Doom . —A" poor miser , arrr iving on the banks ofthe Styx , swam across , and cheated Charon , the ferryman , ofhis penny . He was sentenced , as a punishment , to return tothe world , that ho might behold his spendthrift heirs squandering his money ! JAQUES _. 1 N CAPEL-COURT . ( FromPunc _/ i . ) AU the world are stags 1 ., , Yea , all the men and women merely jobbers ! They have their brokers and their ' _share-accounts , And one man in his time tries many lines , ; The end heing total ruin . . Frst , the greenhorn , Dabbling and dealing in a lucky spec ,. ; And then the posperous seller , with his profits And joyous winning face , buying likemad , Unwilling to sell out ; and then , theloser , .. " ; Sighing like furnace , with a _^ _woful prospect ,
Of tlie next settling day ! Then the director ,, Full of strange . schemes ' , and lodged at the West-end , Keeping a cab , and sudden growing rich , — Getting a buhhle reputation Even iuCapel-court . And then the bankrupt , With is debts' schedule large , " and no assets : By all his decent friends entirely cut , — ' Pull of bad scrip , and fertile of freshsehemes : ''"" And so he plays his game . ' The sixth Step Sinks Into the low and herring-gutted stag , With spectacles on nose and list in hand ; His youthful gains all spent ; the world too wide-Awake to be _ta'en in , and his long Una Of hapless creditors thatidly wait And whistle for their cash , Lost scene of all , That ends this sad but common history , Is—Union pauperism , and oakum picking : Sans beer , sans beef , sans tea , sans everything .
Positives and Comparatives . —A domestic cat is a tame beast , but Van Am burgh the lion king is a beast tamer . The imposition ofthe Income Tax on tbe public by Sir Robert is a cool trick , but a plunge into the Frozen Ocean is a cooler . India , from this country is far off , but a husband who runs awav from his children is a father off . ' Anything proper is fit , but if you call on Moses the tailor , you will find him a fitter . ( Some say he ' s an out and gut-Jitter . ) A retiring person is shy > but an English county is a shir . e . Lord Brougham ' s attempt to observe political consistency is a lame business , but a kick on the shing with the shoe of a ploughman is a lamer . An article without blemish is sound ,. but Prince Joinville , when lately off Brighton , was declared to be a sounder . — JoeMller , Mhs . Caudle . —Why is Mrs . Caudle like Sampso of old ? Because she is able to jaw a thousand Philistines to death .
" These are Stirring Times , " as the spoon said to the saucepan . Flattering Resemblance . —A Southern Adonis , no way celebrated for his personal attractions , on completing a somewhat protracted toilet one morning turned to his servant anu inquired— " How do I look , Caesar ? " " Plendid , massa , plendid ! " was ebony ' s delighted answer . _"Doyouthink I'll do , Csesar ?" ( giving him apiece of silver . ) " Guy , massa , neber see youlook so fierce in all my life ; you look _jist aa bold as a lion . " - '' Why , what do you know about a lion ? You never saw one Caesar . " '' Nebber see a lion , massa ! Guy I see Massa Peyton ' s Jim rideone ober to the mill ebery day . " " No , you fool , that ' s a donkey . " " Can't help dat , _massa-r-yo .. look jist lilce him .
The Collier at Kirk .. — A collier entered the kirk ofIiOchgel . y _, the other Sunday , when the minister , in his sermon , made Some observations about the capture of Jericho . The collier fell asleep until the kirk was going out , * when , on his way home , one of _hia neighbours called out , " Whaur ha ' e ye been the day Archy _* " "Ah ! whaur do ye think ? but at the capture of Jericho . " " An' hoo did ye come on , Archy ? " " Ah , lad , I fell asleep ; and they had Jericho captured , and were singing and rejoicing when I awakenei "—Fife Herald .
A Mendicant Doo . — " I was travelling , " says M , Blaze , " in the diligence . At the place where we changed horses I saw a good-looking poodle-dog ( chien caniche ) _, which came to the coach door , ana sat up on its two hind legs with the air of one begging for something . " Give him a sou , " said the postilion to me , " and you will see what he will do with it . " I threw to him the coin : he picked it up , ran to the baker's and brought back a piece of bread , which he ate . This dog had belonged to a poor , blind man , lately dead ; he had no master , and be gged alms on his own account . ''
The Bixse Bir . — " What for a shot V _aajd a gunsman to tat old farmer _standing near a pond where duckB were Bwimming . " Half-a-crown , was the reply . The money _waspaid , the _gmrfired , and three ducks fell dead . ' "WeU , old chap , how do you like that ? " said the sportsman . "Oh ; well enough , ' ** replied Hodge , " they are none of mine . " A SiiuNGB Religion . —A sailor being 8 uminon < j _4 to give * his testimony before a court , was _questioned by the judge as to his religious , creed . ' "Are you an Episcopalian ? " "No , Bir . " "ACatholic ? " HNo , sir . " "f ' _- A Methodist ? " " No , _siri" "What are you , then ? " "I am captain ofthe foretop . sir . "
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), Nov. 8, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_08111845/page/3/
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