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S MayMay 24, 1845. THE NORTHERN STAR, 3
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¦THE '-THE OLD STRAW HAT'S" ADDRESS TO I...
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ESSAYS ON NATURAL HISTORY. By Charles Wa...
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TIIE STORY OF A FEATHER, B . v Doi/olas ...
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TUE CORDWAINER'S COMPANION. London
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THE MINERS' ADVOCATE. No. I. New Subbs.....
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MACKENZIE'S STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LONDON. ...
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THE LATE THOMAS HOOD. The following para...
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A BOWL OF "PUNCH," FRESH BREWED
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little stories for great humbugs. In Wor...
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A Bio Child to be Christened.—The New Yo...
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,* Repeal, '
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tit 3M&
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Thk "Last op his Race."—When the Earl of...
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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S Maymay 24, 1845. The Northern Star, 3
S MayMay 24 , 1845 . THE NORTHERN STAR , 3
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¦The '-The Old Straw Hat's" Address To I...
¦ THE ' -THE OLD STRAW HAT'S" ADDRESS TO ITS OWNER . Some t game time about the end of last autumn certain lines m the in the pen of Eliza Cook went the round of the press , jug feidng farewell , for the season , of her " Old Straw Hat " e seasc , e season having returned when the " Old Straw Hat " iv hoptJjThope tobe again placed in active service , we bave _ifavojn favoured with the foUowing beautiful lines from an i contjj contributor , which we are sure wiR be read with _a _surcjasure . Onr friend forbids us to append his name , d very „ i very reluctantly we comply with his injunction . — ) .. V _.-S- » .. V .-S . 3 V We parted when the beech leaves fell , A And flowers had left the mead and dell ; V -When infant frosts had _chiU'd the morn .
! And silent was the harvest horn . ] The swallow , too , had left onr shore , * us tvdtfring note was heard no more ; _^ md Sol himself _look"d vexed and spent , And hasted to ' ards " his western tent " Sow Summer gladdens every eye , The glorious sun is mounted high ; So " _-s-isty clouds shut ont its cay , " So sleety showers despoil the day . The tine hath shown her tender rings _. Around tiie pole the hop shootclings ; The birch tree waves her tresses green _. The beech in aH her beauty's seen _.
The blackbird pours his meUow strain , The cuckoo ' s song is heard again ; And "merry Toices" aH declare—Tis time thy Old Straw Hat to wear . Not much thafs strange have I to teU Since last yon bid a kind farewelL The-mildew , ruthless Time ' s aUy , Has passed me not unheeded "by ; Nor has the snider failed to set Across my crown his mazy net ; -While wrathful moths have shown their spite Upon my brim by many a bite . 0 ' let me then with thee inhale
The freshness of tiie summer gale ; The morning ' s halm , tiie noontide breeze , how rustling through the aspen trees . With thee , with thee I ' ve "learn'd to love The tangled wood and cooing dore f And watch at eve the wild dog-rose , When dew drops guard its sweet repose . 'Tis true , 'tis true , I ' m old and worn , With flattened crown , und ribbon torn ; And just as true , I cannot ape The " neweststyle" or " cottageshape ;" But from the evening's chiUy air III guard thy brow with jealous care ; And ward the noontide's scorching ray From off thy cheek as well as they .
0 , what a bitter lot were mine , Had Fate not spun my thread with thine ! 1 ne'er hadheen ib-iimortalised , Bnt kicked about- —by all despised . Some rude , _iU-inannered farmer ' s boy Had crowned with me his wild shoy-hoy ; Or else some slattern ' s hand profane Had stopped with me a broken pane ! Whilst Time shall keep upon the wing , Or green shaU be the robe of Spring—Whilst _evening spreads ( when day is gone ) Her pearly net-work o'er the lawn—Whilst Dunstable shaU famous be , For malting hats of straw like me—Whilst of iny crown there stands onc platt , I ' m ever thine . Tax Ow > Stbaw Hat .
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Essays On Natural History. By Charles Wa...
ESSAYS ON NATURAL HISTORY . By Charles Waterto . v , Esq . Second Series ; with a _continualion of the Autobiography of ihe Author . London : Lon ** man and Co ., Paternoster-row . Our readers may remember , that some months ago we gave an extract from this work , shewing- the appUeab ' _ihty of -the famed Wourali poison as a oieans of core in cases of hydrophobia . Wc hope our readers have not forgotten that extract The writer of these remarks is so satisfied witli Mr . _Watebtos's theory , that should itever be liis misfortune to be infected with that horrible diseasehydrophobia , itis "his desire and instructions to have
the Wourali poison applied to himself . We may remind our readers , that in the event of so awful a calamity befalling any one of themselves or connec tions , the gentlemen to be applied to , are Charles _Faterto-c , Esq ., at Walton Hall , near Wakefield ; or , Mr . Sjbson , atthe General Hospital , in Notting ham , An application to either of those gentlemen { it wUl be better to write to both ) will be imniedi _atdr attended to . Those of our readers who may have forgotten the extract before given , will do well to lookback tothe "Notice to Correspondents " in the Northern Star , of September 21 st , ISM . Although we have had this delightful work by us 56 B 1 _K time , we have nnt had the ovmrkariitv . before
the present week , to do more than give the extract ibovc referred to . Thefiret seriesof Mr * Waferton's Essays it has never been our good fortune to peruse ; but we have read his Wanderings , and the wonders of that book we shall not speedily forget . If any of _tia " Sew Generation" whom we now address , have neverseen Mr . Waferton's first literary production , we advise them to forthwith search it ont . If they cannot afford to push their inquiries amongst the great London publishers—who may possibly have a _itrarcooylefton their shelves , let them ferret through fee stores of the circulating libraries in their _i-eighboinhood ; their ferreting will most likely be _aofessfhl . Bnt it is sot now with the Wanderings we hare to
da-the wonders of Guiana's wilds—the _-mnltitndi emb number and surpassing beauty of the birds—the immense reptiles—the author's Herculean combats -nth tremendous serpents—his ride on fhe back ot & Oyniau [ alligator]—Ms gathering the Wourali poison - _« 1 these matters , so illustrative of the fact that " truth is _arjnge—stranger than fiction , " we cannot _fiscourseofnow _, _itkwitSthebiwikl » eX < jrfiTist "hat * _- * i lave to do , and to it we must confine ourselves . Mr . _Wj-tj-t-tos's object in publishing this second mlmneof Essays , is one that would sanctify any literay offering , tliat object being to aid the widow of & e late Mi \ Loudon , a distinguished fellow-labourer in the field Qf natural science . The author says , " Tbe volume which I now-present to an indulgent
public , is an unsolicited donation to the widow of my _foorileparted friend Mr . _"Locnos , whose _Tastlaboms m the cause of Science * haveinsured to lum anunper " _¦ _^ _Ue repat-iiion . If this trifling present on my part should he the medium of conveying one single _tap of "balm to the wound , which it has pleased beaten to inflict on tiie heart of that excellent lady , my tone will "h ave been well employed , and my endea-• _"ns amply requited . " Not having seen the first series of Essays , we have Mt had the pleasure of reading the former portion of as aothor ' s -remarkable "history : this we regret " * reserve further comment for the present , and at " -to 1 " * proceed to give a few extracts from the scenes _** _A reflections contained in the autobiography .
_HOU-ASD . _Bsautifnl , indeed , is the former sedgy marsh of _Hol hni , and rich the people who have drained and fertilised _& . There is a placidity and frankness in the Hollanders "Inch at once gain the good will of the _traveUer on his _fcst appearance amongst them . The nnifbnniry of their - _^ _ffltry , and the even tenour of their tempers , appear as _^ _oiSh the one had been made for the other . Vou may " -dkthe streets of Rotterdam from light to dark without _ixxctnmtetins anything ; in the shape of mockery or
_rudebss . I could see nobody _piresiongforward with a hurried Pate np the street , as though the town were on fire behind -ha ; nor a single soul whose haughty looks wonld give "Se to understand that I -must keep at a respectful dis-Wc from him- Ho bird eve * preened its plumage -with aore assiduity thau the housemaid in Holland removes Hex _^ _-par-acte or dastaaddirt from the _facade of her neat _iadprcttj-du-tlUng . it seemed to me that she was at * ork with her water-pail and broom from the beginning jf the week tiU late on Saturday night
The stork , whose shape and habits at once announce am to be a lover of swamps and quagmires , is _care-* dly protected in Holland . The natires know his value ; "" ad so good an understanding exists between themselves _*** tbis bird , that he appears in the heart of their towns _^¦ _" _¦ _" - _" st the slightest symptoms of fear - and he builds his J *** * *« a upon the fiat of their chimney-tops . IVonld _^ 0 nr »! mtrygenflemen put a stop to the ind _* _iscrinii-*? ¦ _"hsgter of lards by iheir ruthless gamekeepers , we _" _^ aot hare to visit Holland in order tosee the true ?¦*¦*¦* _tbesturk , norroam throngh Gennany to enjoy the J- * " * ** of fhe kite—a bird once veiy common in this part _^ _Oftebire , but now a total stranger to it IV' * S _** _aA"SCE AKn GAMBtlKG AT SJX-IA-CHAPEILE .
J _^ _Masadiabibitionis alltbis of the foUyand me _finilfj r _--wnaij nature ! _Emd Providence has afforded us aH _^ _fcnstible flow of i _^ ubrious water at Ai _& la-Chapelle , _J _** % to be approached , and of such teanscendent viru > _fci attf _wewitt om 5 * - * ° *** _l 0 _* _^ _"¦* 'earesure * ° Teap _& hill benefit of it But in lien of a _conres-ponding _tJ _^ _raoor part , we counteract every _ejected _advan-^^ nsorfing fo the saDe a manger , and there _par-^^* f all the luxuries from _thecornncopia of Epicurus , _^ _T _^ aail Ceres ; after w ' _mshvreput & elast _impeiU-« f the _* restorat «> n of health , by destroying the peace * S _* _-e-b _? at **• _- ¦ gamhHng table ; there to be flayed tad _«^ ' _? eoas "butchers , to whom tie Government , _er _^ 1 : t 4 abitants , and tha _-risHors themselves , give cra _^ ean _^? 8011 * 31 " " _™ * _•*• _*> 2 » rdse of iheir terrible and _tiaae-Cr _' S * There they are , and there they _wiUcontoactJj * " _hed consent and countenance of aUparties a _rthinj -i' ete they wiUease thousands of their last * _esaZ'y _froctsss so pleaang , so engaging , and at •"• a" ser * *«« henras , thatneiflieryonai nor age , oake ao " _^' iha ,: ir _« ter , can show fbrtitnde enough to * " _^" _tnal-rtan-laa-unstit
l _£ _****** _***& ioot ! Sdtoxome : 8 - _«^ nflt * _**** a « ture on _totoad'fann Baccanoto _^«« _MmS ai , d * _S' hut which I deem necessary to •*** s _UttoT C _^ htri - "m order fiat some of my - " "" fiends in _^ _ttitiL _*** ' andoai e » in _"Bngland , mav not give me T ! _« 5 e _«* - . _! _£ 8 _feir wUtin _deierrw no credit at alL 5 » M « _tuiijjaa got it ' into fieir heads tbat I had
Essays On Natural History. By Charles Wa...
reached Rome after walking barefoot for nearly twenty mUes , in order to show my respect for the sacred capital of the Christian world . Would that my motive had been as pure as represented ! The _sanctitj of the churches , the remains of holy martyrs which enrich them , the relics of canonised saints placed in such profusion throughout them , might weU induce a Catholic traveller to adopt this easy and simple mode of showing his reUgious feeling . But unfortunately the idea never entered my mind at the time : I had uo other motives than those of easy walking and of self-enjoyment The affair which caused the talk took place as foUows : —Wehad arrived at Baccanoin the
evening , anu whilst we were at tea I proposed to our esceUent friend Mr . Fletcher , who had joined us at Cologne , that we should leave the inn at four the next morning oh foot from Borne , and secure lodging for the ladies , who would foUow us in a carriage after a nine o ' clock breakfast Having heen accustomed to go without shoes month after month , in the rugged forests of Guiana , I took it for granted that I could do the same on the pavement of his HoUnese Pope Gregory the Sixteenth , never once reflecting that some fifteen years had elapsed since the time that I could go barefooted with comfort and impunity : during the interval , however , tbesequel will show that the soles of my feet had undergone a considerable alteration . We rose at three o ' clock on the morning after , and having put a shoe and a sock or
half-stocking into each pocket of my coat , we left the inn at Baccano for Rome just as the hands of our watches pointed to the hour of four . Mr . Fletcher having been horn in North Britain , ran uo risk of injuring his feet by an act of imprudence . The sky was cloudless and the morning frosty , and the planet Venus shone upon us as though she had been a little moon . Whether the severity of the frost which was more than commonly keen , or the hardness of the pavement , or perhaps both conjoined , had deprived my feet of sensibility , I had no means of ascertaining ; but tbis is certain , I went on merrily for several miles withoat a suspicion of anything being wrong , until we halted to admire more particularly the transcendent splendour ofthe morning planet and then I saw blood on the pavement : my right foot was bleeding apace , and on ¦ hn * ning the sole uppermost I perceived a piece of jagged flesh hanging by a string ; seeing that there would be no chance of replacing the damaged part with success , I
twisted it off ; and then took a surrey of the foot by the light which the stars afforded . Mr . Fletcher , horrorstruck at what he saw , proposed immediately that I should sit down by the side of the road , and there wait for the carriage , or take advantage of any vehicle that might come up . Aware that the pain would he excessive as soon as the lacerated parts would become stiff by inaction , I resolved at once to puih on to Rome : wherefore , putting onc shoe on the sound foot , which , by the way , had two uubroken blisters on it I forced the wounded one into the other , and off we started for Rome , which we reached after a very uncomfortable walk . The injured foot had two months ' confinement to thc sofa before the damage was repaired . It was tliis unfortunate adventure which gave rise to the story of my walking bare-footed into Rome , and which gained me a reputation by no means merited on my part ( To be continued . )
Tiie Story Of A Feather, B . V Doi/Olas ...
TIIE STORY OF A FEATHER , B . v Doi / olas Jebeold . London : Punch Office , 92 , Fleet-street . This is a r eprint of the beautiful and affecting story , which appeared some time ago in the pages o f our excellent contemporary , Punch . In its present form the story may be read to much greater advantage than on its first appearance , as it may be perused from the commencement to the close without halt or stoppage ; moreover , the concluding chapters have been re-written , and the story in its termination bears a more finished appearance than it originally possessed . Of all the complete works of Dowlas Jebbold we Lave yet read , tin ' s we regard as his best . Every page glitters with gems of wit , satire , and the most benevolent and noble ideas . Cant is unmasked , aristecratical heartlessness unveiled , and the sufferings ofthe many described as onlv Mr . Jerrold can
describe them . The heroine of the story , Patty Butler , is a lovely conception ; and so devoid of exaggeration is the picture , that it isdifficult to believe such a being is bnt the creation of fiction . Doubtless there are many Patty Butler ' s suffering and enduring the hardships of a world too unfitted for their gentle spirits—hut the actual existence of the beautiful creation of Mr . Jerrold ' s story , is what it is difficult to disbelieve in , so true to nature has he drawn Ms heroine . If we have any one objection to advance , it is , that the account ofthe death nf the old wretch Mrs . Gaptootli , is not sufficiently striking , whilst the death of old Cramp , the caixhnaker , is made unnecessarily horrible . We have to make an acknowledgment to Mr . Jerrold for his picture of the poor curate , Mr . higlewood . In our hatred of priests—a
hatred engendered purely from a detestation of the delusions of which they are the apostles , and the crimes which their sway over mankind has caused , — in the warmth of f eeling with which we have been led to regard their fatal influence in all ages , and all nations , we fear we are sometimes too sweeping in our denunciations of the class . Good men do undoubtedly exist , even amongst the p riests ; men who conscientiously believing in particular creeds , do nevertheless exhibit feelings of charity to wards all mankind , and do their best to shield the helpless , and succour the fallen . Such men , like Goldsmith ' s Village Pastor , and Mr . Jerrold ' s hglewood , are of the " salt of the earth ; " true to their nature , the withering influences of their craft fail to contaminate or change them . To such men be all honour .
Now comes our difficulty—the selecting an extract , or extracts : for how are we to single out particular specimens of beauty where all is beautiful ? Patty working at the midnight hour hy the side of her dead mother—the agony of the repentant Jessy—the touching tale of Jessy ' s lover ' s death—the biting satire in the descriptions of royalandaristocratic lifethe ludicrous doings of Monsieur Spanneu—the abominable cant of the _Muggletonian preacher—the descriptions of " life" in Newgate , and the round _, house , in the " good old times "—the untiring benevolence of the poor apothecary Lintiey—the playhouse _lwkind the scenes , Fanny Davis , good-hearted nitty Clyde , thc wretch Gauntwolf and his gold snuffbox * : and the critic ' s inkstand;—all these should be given to do the work justice—indeed the book must he read , no mere extract can give the reader a correct idea of its worth and beauties . W _* must , nevertheless , give a few extracts : —
LOKDO . V " _MABTVBS . " Unseen , unknown , axe thc divinities that—descending from garrets—tread the loud , foul , sordid , crowding highways of London ! Spiritual presences suffering all things , and in the injustice— -most hard to turn to right —of our social purpose , living and smiling , daily martyrs to their creed of good . Young children , widowed age , and withered singleness—the ardent student , flushed and fed with little else but hope—the disappointed , yet brave , good old man , a long , long loser in the worldly fighfi who has retired apart to bleed unseen , and uncomplaining die
—the poor and stern man , only stern in truth—sour of speech , with heart of honied sweetness—aU of these , in all their thousand shades of character and spirit—the " army of _Tjur tyrs" to fortune , and'the social _iniquifies that , dressed and spangled for truths , man passes off on man—aU of this bright band have , and do , and will consecrate the garrets of London , and make a holy thing of poverty by the sacrificial spirit with which they glorify her . * * * * * And has not such poverty its genii , its attendant spirits ! 0 , yes ! a bloodless glory is its body-guard , aud its tatterbearer au angel .
THE HEB 0 ISM OF TEE POOS . The history of the world is made of battles , conquests , tlic accession and the deaths of kings , the doings of statesmen , and the tricks of law . This makes ihe vulgar story ofthe external world . Its deeper history is ofthe hearts , even ofits lowest _dweUers—of the ennobling impulses that swell them—of tbe unconquerable spirit of meekness which looks calmly upon terror , and turns even agony to patience . A London aUey might produce a more glorifying heraldry—if emotions could be quartered—than Boictiers or Blenheim . How many * a man , whose only -history is written in a baptismal register or undertaker ' s account , has conquered suffering , stronger in its onset than a squadron ! If true magnanimity awarded taughthood , how many who want even shoe-leather have won their spurs ! _sroar or a _sake ' s foot—ineasx _raoniciEs . " Yes , " I answered hastily . " This life appears to mc _dehcious . Indeed , I know no condition so blissful . ''
" Poor wretchl" cried the hare ' s-foot nifli a contemptuous groan . " Shall I ever forget the sweetness of my liberty ? The fresh , perfumed dew tbat bathedmy infant paws ! My adultgambols by moonlight ! Thesweet spring grass and beds of thyme—and sweeter felony committed upon early peas in kitchen-garden ! Rights of my youth ! Fragrant and nimble was the air around me , and freshueis was in all my steps . Then was I guileless even to simpUcity . I was slain , and from that hour I have been made an instrument of deception . 0 , the false paintings I have done \ 0 , the cracked and faded human canvas I have daubed and daubed , aud passed , upou tne ** . for heaven ' s painting . ' * * * " You have heard , " continued the hare ' s-foot , " that I
was poached ! I beUeve I owed my death to an unsophisticated love of the English drama . Yes ; Hodge Peastraw , lacking the price of admission to the barn of Biggleton , elevated for a time into a theatrical temple , took me ss a mysterious present to BeUowly _, the manager . Mr . BeUowly vaunted an everlasting devotion to ihe laws of Ms country ; nevertheless , Mrs . BeUowly had , atthe time , a strange mysterious yearning for hare , and the manager sacrificed the feelings of the patriot to the tenderness of the husband . Hodge gave me—poached and slaughtered me—to BeUowly * , and BeUowly , who was that night to plav OtheUo , gave Hodge an order for the show . Hence , " added the hare ' s-foot with a slight laugh , " _*«^ bargain that bartered me , there was murder on both "So your flesh , ? said I , "became a dinner to the ma's familyand Peastraw was never suspected V
nager , "Suspected ! " cried the bare ' s-foot , " Mr . BeUowly took care of that , at the same time doing what was neeaful for his own dignity . He dropped a large Wot of red sealing-wax npon my forehead , then writing an address to Achmet BeUowly , Esq ., with the Lady of the Manors admiring compliments / tied the document to my mna legs _, andcausedme tobe _deUveredtoWm during rehearsal in the bosom of his whole company . Nevertheless , I * " _*• _* ¦ - served up , I may say it , in undress ; for the manager could not in private life rise to _currant-jeUy . I was eaten , " said the hare ' s-foot with a sigh , "I was eaten without the honours . "
Tiie Story Of A Feather, B . V Doi/Olas ...
"And your feet ? " I asked . " My _feUow fore-paw was at once consigned to paint the heavy old men , and general _utUity . Fortune alone ean tell what has become of it ; but if there be anything in what the players caU sympathy , I think it has sunk to tbe shows , for _-iVCTj year 1 feel strange low yearnings towards Bartlemy Fair . " " And yourself ? " I asked . " What was your career , for you have strangely interested me ?" " You are very kind , " answered the foot , in a slightly satirical tone . " I became the property of Mr . Bellowly ' s little Belvidera . Poor Uttle thing ! She was killed for a genius . " " Pray explain , " said I .
" _loumust know , " said the hare ' s-foot , " that it has been ordered by nature—whether wisely or not I will not answer—that every manager who is a father , has a genius * _, that is , he possesses a wonderful child , who has been privately suckled by the Tragic Muse , and taught the witching ways of comedy by Thalia . Poor Belvidera was this doomed wonder . Hence I was set aside to rouge her Uttle baby cheeks , * to paint out the fresh hue of chUdhoodto overlay it with midnight red . Poor waxen puppet ! She raved according to rote , she laughed a parrot laugh , she ogled , she simpered ; she deformed the frank face of babyhood with thc taught tricks of the woman ; and grown fools applauded , and wondered , and cried a miracle ! And the daUy wardrobe of Mr . BeUowly increased
in lustre ; audwatch-and-cham , and rings , and other ornaments , which even philosophers , whilst they despise them , wear out of respect to the world , became the property of the devoted father : who , that no spot of the world might be denied the benefit of _Belvidera's genhiB , would condescendingly exhibit it even in way-side inns , at taverns , clubs , in all places and before aU societies _. And the poor child was coaxed , and petted , and hot-suppered into a beUef of its own greatness , and into the reality of a slow and mortal sickness . I felt its cheek , now hot and c _* _uvmnyy , as night after night I was made to lay on more and more paint , and I was assured that the creature was laughing , and dancing , and mumming , every night nearer and nearer to its little grave .
" Time went on , " continued the hare's-foot , " and Belvidera grew worse . The cough—that herald of the church-hell—seized her : nevertheless Mr . BeUowly declared ' twasnothing—merely symptomatic of the measles ; and she couldn't bave them in a better season . At this time the chUd played at a country theatre where Mrs . Clive acted . ' "What think you , ma ' am , of ray darting Belvidera V asked BeUowly . ' I think her , ' said Kitty , in her sharp quiet way—for she cuts as silently as a _pickpocket's knife— ' I tbink lier the cleverest corpse I ever thought to see . ' ' Heavens ! ma'am , ' cried BeUowly . 'I tell you , man , ' said Kitty , outcrying him , * you'll have that _cliUd ' s blood upon your hands as surely those rings her blood has bought . '
" 0 , there was a long to-do ! At last Mrs . Clive persuaded BeUowly—and , as I think , not without hard money —to take the child from the stage . And she had tho poor thing up to London , and sent doctors and physicians , and day after day would nurse her herself . But all would not do . The little waxen wonder wasted and wasted , and at length BeUowly aghast saw his infant miracle about to die . ' _* " The Uttle creature was meek , affectionate , _intehigent . 'I shall die , ' she said to CUve ; ' I ' m sure of it—and 0 , it is so strange , I do not seem to fear it . I wish you wonld let me give you something—it is the only thing that ever was mine . Don't look at it tiU I ' m dead , but pray take it . ' "CUve , with her heart gushing at her eyes , dumb aud strangling with emotion , suffered thc ehUd to place the gift in her hand . "The child died . CUve opened the paper , and found the gift to be myself . "
THE POBE ONES OF TUB STA G E , There were , _oni ore , many , many such , who , looking down temptation with virtuous looks , are made , by their weekly shiUings—wages earned in a fiery furnace—meek hearted ministrants of daily bread to a whole family . I have known many sceues of Ufe , but none in which the filial principle more nobly—nay , in few so nobly—exercised itself as among players , from high to low : the " vagabonds" branded in the statute . Many a time has the house rang with plaudits of Mrs . Gibber , in her sweet devotion , as tbe self-denying cliild ! and at that moment , among the few girls , the attendants of the scene—the creatures upon whom undistinguishing profligacy in the boxes would set a price _^—were those , who practised in the hard prose of life , the lovely fable of the poet . Believe it , reader ; I have known CordeUas in cotton gowns , and Grecian Daughters in pattens .
CHAMPAGNE AND SHALL BEEB , Mrs . CUve remained talking to her friend as Garrick came from the stage . He was about to enter the greenroom , when he met the young gentleman who played Dugard . "My good lad , " said Garrick—" you are dull , plaguy dull in this ; flat , very flat . " " "What would you have me do , sir ? Indeed , I should ba happy to be instructed , " said the meek Dugard , _«* Do ! " cried Garrick — " why you must feel more spirit—you must work yourself into the passion that—zounds , my lad ! this is what
you must do—you must put more Champagne—yes , that's it—you must put more Champagne into it , " " Sir , " repUed the actor , with a _Iiteralness of apprehension sometimes found behind the scenes—" sir , I should be very happy , but it ' s impossible . " " Impossible ! " cried David , looking with his wonderful eye , "impossible to put more Champagne into into it ! " "Yes , sir , " said the stoUd Dugard , " with my salary , how can I afford it % " "Foregad ! " cried David , smothering a laugh— "I had forgotten that No : I see ; small beer is the best we can expect from you . "
A FETTEBED LION . StiU the play went on . An actor—I forget his namewho played Gibbet , again and again lamented to Mrs . CUve his hard destiny . He was the only man who could play Mirabel ; but in that theatre , he was crushed , ruined , annihilated ! The green-room was empty . Mrs . CUve sat alone , unseen , behind the door . Gibbet , the iU-used actor , entered . He thought himself solitary with his wrongs . He stalked up and down the room , swelling and swelling—aud then muttering and muttering his injuries . At length , he paused before the pier-glass ; and , gazing intently at himself , he clenched his fist , and shaking it vehemently at the reflection of Ids face , growled with bursting heart : " You- —you—you are a—a—fettered—lion !" "Ha ! ha ! ha ! " screamed Kitty Clive ; and the fettered lion , more than amazed , rushed from the
greenroom . Our quotations have extended to a greater length than we could well afford room f or , but if the specimens we have given should induce any of our readers to become purchasers of this handsome and excellent volume , wc shall be well pleased . The cost of the work may be found advertised in any number of Punch . We know of no book that better deserves an extensive circulation . - Douglas Jerroid _' s popularity , though of slow , baa been of sure growth . We mean the popularity result ing from his general writings , independent ofhis
dramatic productions , which , years ago made him popular with a particular class . He is now decidedly one ofthe most popular men of the present time , and his popularity is as deserved as it is general . The honours recently paid to him at Birminghamhonours which all classes , but particularly the work ing class , joined in awarding—must have been to him highly gratifying ; and his own gratification can hardly exceed that of his many admirers in all parts of the empire . In the report of the meeting at the ( Birmingham ) _^ Pol ytechnic Institution , the commencement of one of the speeches is reported as follows : —
Thc Rev . Dr . BaphaU next presented himself . He commenced by expressing his gratification at seeing in the chair a gentleman of distinguished talent , who had taken up the cause ofthe weak against the strong , of hu . inanity against utilitarianism , of good sense and good feeling against canting quackery and grasping rapacity . That gentleman had known how to mix reason with pleasure , and wisdom with mirth ; his keen satire , brilliant wit , and grap hic humour produced deep and lasting impressions on the mind , and he therefore came amongst them with stront ! claims on their good will—claims which
he felt rejoiced at seeing thus warmly recognised . When he remembered that the man whom they had thus met to honour was not a noble peer , nor yet a millionaire—not a warrior returning from a field of _vietoiy , nor yet a party leader borne up on the angry sea of politics by the clamorous zeal of interested partisans—but that he was a literary man , who from the quiet of his closet had spoken to thc masses ofthe population , and been understood and appreciated by them—when he reflected on all tbis , he could not help exclaiming , " Time works wonders ! " for great and wonderful was thc change it had wrought on thc minds and feeUngs of men .
Other speakers—and all classes , all sects , and all parties , were represented at that meeting—desig nated Mr . Jerboid as the "friend of the working man , " thc " champion of the poor , " a " manful fighter against oppression _apd cant , " and " a member of tne great fraternity who teach that the pen is mightier than the sword . " These are high compliments , but Douglas Jerrold deserves them ; that he may continue to do so to the end of his mortal career , is our fervent hope and earnest prayer .
Tue Cordwainer's Companion. London
TUE _CORDWAINER'S COMPANION . London
Strange , Paternoster-row ; Cleave , Shoe-lane . This trade journal has been _i . vived , and will next month _commenceasaweeklypiiljlieation . No . X VII . ( May 10 th" ) contains several good things , particularly an excellent Irish fairy tale , entitled '" The First Brogue Maker , " from tl . n pen of a clever man , Mr . John O'Neiia , who is .- ' bout to publish a collec tion of similar tales , to be entitled " _Handerohan , tiie Irish Fairy JIan ; _orast ' _- ' esof Original Legends of Ireland . " A word to the e" tor of the _Companions-Let bygones be bygones—elimination and recrimination wfll destroy any cause , lour abilities are ot no mean order ; exercise them , t V en , for the common good , regardless ofthe snavUngs « f petty-minded persons A word to the wise sufBceth .
The Miners' Advocate. No. I. New Subbs.....
THE MINERS' ADVOCATE . No . I . New _Subbs . . Mat . Newcastle-upon-Tyne . . ¦ _¦¦ ' ¦ Here is " an old friend with a new face . " . _Tac size , form , and cost of the hew series is the saine i » Chambers' Edinburgh Journal . * ' * There' ate several able articles in this number , and much interesting information respecting the miners and their grievances . To the colliers , and trades generally , we re ** commend this Yery necessary publication .
The Miners' Advocate. No. I. New Subbs.....
THE CHRISTIAN MYTHOLOGY UNVEILED —By _Looax Mitchell . London : B . D . Cousins , 18 . . Du 3 _ve-street , _LincoJn ' s-inn-fields . I Ins work comprises a course of six lectures on the present superstition of Europe , bv a gentleman now deceased , together with some additional matter in the shape ot a "Dialogue . " "Essays , " d ; c . The author ioUows mthe wake of _Boulaxgeu , Dopois , \ olsei , and _Iaixoh , in ascribing to an astronomical allcgory-or rather a variety of sucli _allegories , tiie origin of Christianit y . The author supports his views by well-mauitained arguments , he cites a mass of authorities , and throughout exhibits no small amount of learning and research . Of the celebrated WTiterswe have named above , Volsey and Taylor are the best known m this country . The work before
us , while in sonio respects not to be compared with the writings of those two authors , has nevertheless its own distinctive and valuable features . The " Mythology" is not to be compared for eloquence and profound thought , with the " Ruins" of M . Volney , but what Volxey disposes of in two or three chapters MncHELh examines and investigates through the entire of a goodly-sized volume : he enters more into detail , andisconsequentlymoreabundantin the " evidences' he advances in support of his views . As regards eloquence , it is not to be wondered at that Miichellshould be inferior to Volney ; the author of the "Ruins" was an extraordinary man even in extr aordinary times , and a thousand years may pass away before such another writer as Yolsev _ann-wrs .
In comparing Mitchell with Taylor , we must admit that the former possesses but little " if an / ' of the wit and humour , and the great satirical powers of the latter : although as regards his " evidences , " we should say that Miichell had drawn largely from the author of thc " Dkgtsis . " Be that as it may , if the author of the work before us does not dazzle with the wit , neither does he offend by the grossness , and almost buffoonerj _* , which so largely entered into the lectures and writings of Taylor . Mitchell , too , avoids that intenninable stuffing of his pages with those " classical" barbarisms—¦ Latin , Greek , and Hebrew quotations , in which _Taylor so delighted , and which tended to mystify rather than enlighten the generality of his readers . We consider , therefore , that on the whole this work is a very desirable
one . We have said " on the whole , " for we must except one portion . We allude to that portion of the sixth lecture commencing at page 190 , relating to the Sabbath , or Seventh Day of Rest . The author of this work says * . — " Thc entailing upon human industry this weekly curse of idleness was reserved for , and was worthy of , tbe Emperor Constantike , a man who had the guilt of seven family murdors upon his head . " Now , whatever were the motives of Constastise , and admitting that hc was onc of the most detestable monsters that over lived , we deny that the institution of a seventh day of rest is a " curse" to mankind . " ¦ _"Vc admit that the weekly mummeries of the gospelshops are productive , and conservative of thc ignorance , slavery , and misery ofthe great mass of the
community , but the abstract justice and utility , and the good results wliich would , under other circumstances , flow from the Sabbath , are not invalidated by the fact that the priests have appropriated this day to their own purposes . The author of this work declaims against the forced idleness of the Sunday , and the consequent drunkenness , debauchery , gaming , and quarrelling , of which thc beer-shops and ginpalaces are the theatres on that day ; but we again say , that the abuse of a good thing is no argument against its use . Instead of encouraging gin-shops and gospel-shops , let the Government throw open the museums and public buildings ; let them provide sound instruction and innocent amusements , both for the young and the adult sections of the community on the Sunday , and very differavtwouldbetheresultsto those
seen from the present system ef Sabbath-keeping . The author of this work says— " It is most true that thc working man wants rest ; but is not he the best judge when recreation or rest becomes necessary ?" The working man may be the best judge of his own wants , but , placed as he is , under our present social arrangements , entirely at the mercy of the usurpers of land and capital , it is stark-staring nonsense to speak of him as being a free agent . For many years large masses ofthe manufacturing population have been struggling to obtain a legislative enactment limiting the hours of their labour to ten per day , and we know that Jup to tliis time they have failed in their efforts . Even the miserable concessions that have been wrungfrom themanufacturers forthe shortening ofthe hours of labour of little children , have been extorted
only after years of agitation , and enormous expense and suffering on the part ofthe operatives . It may be said , that any working-man who desires to work only ten hours a day may do so , but this is erroneous . In three fourths of the mills , workshops , mines , and other employments , the workers are hound to serve for a certain term , or can only leave their employ _¦? ment upon certain notice , and are subject to rules and regulations more oppressive and stringent than those imposed upon them by the legislature . The great mass of the workers cannot go to work at what hour they please , nor leave at what time they like ; tlieir own necessities , and the laws of their " masters , " forbid this . If a man does not like the task set for him , he certainly is at liberty , at least after a time , to leave it , out that liberty is the
libert y to starve—a precious liberty indeed!—The grasping cupidity of landlords and capitalists is too notorious to render it doubtful that , but for the law and the church , even the seventh day of rest would be denied to the toiling millions . It is not more work that is wanted , bat that the work should be more equally apportioned amongst all the members ofthe community . It is not the creation of more wealth that is desirable , but a more equal distribution of the wealth produced . When the opponents of priestcraft declaim against the Sabbath , they do their cause injury . The abrogation ofthe seventh day of rest , and the substitution of only one day in ten , was one of the great errors of the French Revolutionists . The working classes naturally said , "These men , with liberty on their tongues , are worse task-masters than our old tyrants the priests ; " and this and similar errors speedily created disaffection towards the new order
of things , which the discomfited priests and aristocrats were not slow in profiting by . For ourselves , so far from desiring the abrogation of the seventh day o f rest , we would restore to a great extent , or rather establish , similar holidays to those' which the people of this country enjoyed before the Reformation . We would not restore the Saint Days and the other monkeries o f the Calendar , but we would substitute for them days of rest , recreation , and enjoyment , divested of all priestly frauds , and in accordance with common sense and the common good . We cannot afford room for any extracts beyond the following few lines ; we give them because , whilst containing a reproof of the party , or rather a former section of the party , with wnom we are connected , we approve of the writer ' s sentiments , and perfectly agree with him—as we always did—as to the suicidal folly of those who gave themselves up to the miserable delusion
_of—BEMGIOOa _CBABTIBU . When our presentultra-Beformers , who call themselves Chartists , prate of church-going , and offering up prayers and reUgious hymn ** , previous to their consultations , our poUtical rulers pass tho wink to their clerical confederates , conveying as much as to say , this is all very weU ; for whUe these men continue under the thumb of any sect of theologians , or suffer their minds to be deluded and debauched by any scheme of supernaturalism whatsoever , real knowledge and sound judgment must be strangers to their meetings ; whilst the animosities of _sectisin must ever prevent unanimity , without which they never can be formidable to the powers that be , however corrupt . The above appears to have been written at the time that the " Christian Chartist" madness afflicted the movement , and _trulyfrealised has been the prediction that the " animosities of sectarianism" would be destructive of " unanimity . " Particularly has this res ' _iiU been accomplished in Scotland , where this
insanity , principally prevailed . This madness has , however , at length . subsided , and now that thc coppers are stopped , the canting rascals who set ; themselves up as " _ministei-s" and " preachers" are showing off in their true characters—a set of greedy , heartless , dirty-tongued vagabonds . The men of Glasgow and other towns now know , and rightly knowing , detest these Maw-worms : well would it have been for the cause of Democracy if tHey had been equally well known a few years ago ; to them is mainly to be attributed the ruin of Chartism in Scotland . May the past be a warning for the future 1 The Christian Mythology Unveiled is elegantly Erinted , and may be had either in threepenny numers , or complete , as a handsome volume . Its extensive circulation will do much to weaken the influence of superstition , and hasten the day when "Falsehood ' s trade Shall be as hateful and unprofitable As that of truth is now !"
Mackenzie's Stranger's Guide To London. ...
MACKENZIE'S STRANGER'S GUIDE TO LONDON . London : Mackenzie , 111 , Fleet-street ; Cleave , Shoe-lane . This _tSutfie is good stuff in little compass . It contains aiist , with ample particulars of all the places of amusement , public buildings , charitable and literary institutions , bazaars , exhibitions , palaces , museums , and Government offices , statues , courts and inns of law , churches , railroads , bridges , parks , markets , and prisons of the " Great Metropolis . " Full information is given as to the days and hours wheti admission ' can be obtained to the ' public buiMinp , whether the admission is free , and if not , the charge or charges . The notices of the places of amusement , exhibitions , & c ., give the charges of adwim
mission , many interesting particulars . Indeed , we have never seen at the pwce _' so useful a'book for the class , for whom H is intended-country cousins in London . . For a fourpenny . piece , ; the prioeof this little book , any one arriving for the first time in the metropolis m _» y _* afc once become possessed of all the knowledge . Te _^ _-awite'ito ' enable them to see . the " Lions , ; and . inthese _dapofr' _-oheftp _^ trains " ' and " _floW _i i _^ _uraions , '' such a . ' Guide is invaluable . But MBides bur countiry friends . there are thousands of metropolitan residents who ; < _m sallying but for a day ' s P leasure , will find this _tfutde -of the utmost service . From personal experience we can bear witness to its merits , and therefore we have no hesitation in recommending it to our Mends .
The Late Thomas Hood. The Following Para...
THE LATE THOMAS HOOD . The following paragraph is extracted from the Athenamm of Saturday : — " We arc sure that the public will learn , with deep regret , what , however , was foreshadowed to his Mends by years of sickness aud suffering , that Mr . Hood has ' lcft a widow and two children in straitened and p recarious circumstances , with no other means ot subsistence but a small pension , terminable on thc failure of the widow's life , barely sufficient to supply a family of three with common necessaries , and totally inadequate for the education and advancement of the orphan children . Even this scanty resource lias been , of necessity , forestalled to a considerable extent during thc last five months , in order to meet the heavy sick-room
and funeral expenses . We have just heard that the following noblemen and gentlemen , _adnurers of Mr . Hood's genius , but , above all , of the generous devotion of tliat genius to the cause of suffering humanity , have formed themselves into a committee , for the purpose of raising a sum by subscription , to be held in trust for the benefit of the family during the widow ' s life , and at her death to be divided between the children , whom that event will leave destitute : — The Marquis of Northampton , Baron de Rothschild , R . Monckten Milnes , Esq ., M . P ., Harrison Ainsworth , Esq ., A . Spottiswoode , Esq ., T . Reseigh , Esq ., Dr . W . Elliot , Lord Francis Egerton , Sir E . Bulwer Lytton _, Bart ., T . Noon Talfourd , D . Salomons , Esq ., Samuel Phillips , Esq ., and W . Harvev , Esq . "
GENERAL JACKSON . We find the following interesting account of _tnis distinguished man ' s residence _m the Cleveland Herald : — The Hermitage is twelve miles from Nashville—the road leading to it is a fine _M'Adami--ed turnpike—passing through highly cultivated plantations . At about eight miles out , we passed nn old two-story log building , near Stone Biver , which was pointed out as the head-quarters of Aaron Burr , while engaged in preparing his flat-boat expedition . Rumour has said that General JackBon participated with him in this movement , but General Armstrong said that Jackson was the first to advise President Jefferson of Burr ' s whereabouts and doingsthat Burr ' s design was not to excite civil commotion , but to make a demonstration upon what is now Texas . We
also rode through the famous " clover bottoms , " or " meadows , " around which was the celebrated race course . Tliis is about three miles from the Hermitage , and is the place wliere all the "bloody affairs" of the old hero originated . The duel ivith Dickinson , and _tkepromiscuous fight with the Bentons , here originated . Arrived at the Hermitage at one o'clock p . m ., and remained there till six . The plantation originaUy had 2100 acres . General Jackson has given "Major Donaldson 800 , on whiohhe has built a large and elegant residence . The Hermitage farm consists of 1300 acres of very rich land , under admirable cultivation ; the fences , buildings , and all in perfect order ; about fifty field hands , or slaves , and plenty of children and house servants . I walked over the plantation—drank water from a gourd at the " Hermitage Spring , " saw the old log house , in which the General lived for many years , < bc .
The first mansion house was built by Mrs . Jackson during the General ' s absence in the Seminole war . This was burnt after Mrs . Jackson ' s ' death , and whilst the General was President . The present establishment is upon the ruins ofthe old , and was built under the superintendence of General Armstrong . It is a building of very considerable pretension , of brick , two stories high —the main body adorn « d with large wooden pillars in front , and has two large wings , extending in front up to the main building , even ivith the piUars . It stands half a nine from the road , and is sparely surrounded with trees . Taking the plantation , the mansion house , the stock , including slaves , Sic , and it is in truth a princely establishment .
I noticed in tho large hall a splendid painting , representing the revolution in Mexico , with our late Minister , Mr . Poinsett , standing upon a balcony , outholding the American flag . Same picture refused by _Cougtess . There are also in the hall two busts—one of Woodbury , the other of Livingston . In the drawing-room , I noticed over the side door a largelithographicUkenessof Amos Kendall , at the head of the room a portrait of Martin Van Buren , around the room portraits ofthe General and his wife , and of his associate officers in the war . On one mirror table are the resolutions ofthe Louisiana Legislature , about refunding " that fine , " handsomely engrossed and framed ; onthe other table , a pair of pistols given by General "Washington to Lafayette , and by the latter to GeneralJackson ; also the duelling pistols ( long barrels ) of the " Old Hero . "
On the centre table is a small wooden pitcher , with silver bands and lid , made of the elm tree under which Penn made his famous treaty with tbe Indians . This pitcher was presented by the coopers of Philadelphia . Also on this table is a silver cup , presented by "Martin Van Buren , the godfather of Andrew Jackson , jun ., " being a son ofthe General ' s adopted son . __ The General ' s " room" is plainly but appropriately furnished , having a handsome portrait ofhis wife suspended over the mantle-piece ; along stemmed pipe , with sUver bowl , in one corner ; an Indian pipe and a good war-club in the other . He smoked often . He was seated in a
large arm chair , his long white hair , well combed hack , and was the same in spirit , if hot in flesh , that he was eight years ago . His bodUy health is very feeble , coughs a good deal , and expectorates with much difficulty . The old hero ' s answer to the inquiry after his health is so characteristic of the man , I will give it . He said , " I am very feeble , sir—very , sir . 1 come within a moment ' s time of choking to death last Tuesday , sir—I thought I was gone , sir—upon my honour I . did , sir . When the Almighty takes me , he v . iU do it suddenly , sir . I shall go in a moment , sir—shall choke to death , sir—upon tny honour , sir . " __ . '
A Bowl Of "Punch," Fresh Brewed
A BOWL OF "PUNCH , " FRESH BREWED
Little Stories For Great Humbugs. In Wor...
little stories for great humbugs . In Words of One Syllable . tbe oreect bot wno cried fob the moon . There Was a Big Bad Boy whose Name was Dan , and he used to Cry Out for all Sorts of Things whicli it was not Right for him to Have . One Day he would have This Thing , and the next Day he would have That , but he would not Keep StiU . Give Him what you Would . At last he would Cry Out and Make a Great Noise for the Moon , * wkiclChe Said wis His , but his Nurse Peel said he Should Not
Have it , for it Would do Him no Good if he Got it . But his Nurse , who Would have been Glad to Keep Him Still , gave Him a large Slice of what was Sweet and Good , in the Hope that it Would Stop Dan ' s Mouth . But Dan Would Call Out Still for the Moon ; He would Have That , and not One Thing else would do for Him . Oh , what a Bad Big Boy was this Dan ! How shall we Serve Him , to Make Him Good ? I Think we Must Whip Him if he will Go on so , fbr we Must not Let Him Make such a Noise , and Call Out for the Moon , which is quite Out ofhis Reach .
" CALL OF TUE IRISH MEMBERS ! "But will tlicy come when you do call them V' —Shaks . Mr . Hume is determined that the patriots of the Conciliation Hall—those fire-new Catosand Brutuses , O'Connell , Grattan , and others of kindred tongue and swagger—should come to England and work upon committees . Now , most of them may say , " wc cannot work , " though they cannot add , " ana to beg we are ashamed ; " begging , under the genial influence of the Liberator , being their especial function . Hume has constituted himself call-boy of the llouse of Commons , * and if every call-boy—London and provincial—were to write down their professional experience ( and remembering the mighty stagenothings , the " Daggerwood Papers" that are wont
monthly to appear , we see no reason why they should not ) , they would hardly have for subject more miserable ranters , more empty , mouthing impotences than are to be found strutting and fretting at this moment in borrowed feathers in thc city of Dublin , O'Connell himself has , it is true , a wide range of business : now acting Pistol , now Cantwell , now Bombastes , and now King Arthur . Grattan , O'Brien , and others , are limited to little more than the delivery of messages . We therefore hope that the Serjeant-at-Arms will be spared a sea-sickness ; thathe will not be despatched to Ireland to give importance to the rant of mountebanks , and the tomfoolery of breeches-pocket patriots . A ship-full of Irish well-fed , well-conducted porkers , would be a far more valuable cargo than all the present brawlers of the Hall of Conciliation .
French Pathos . —There is an affecting letter in the French papers , from wliich we learn how sadly , shamefully , those peaceable and well-meaning men , the African Chasseurs , are treated by the Kabyles . The Frenchmen , in their laudable and Christian-like endeavours to civilise the savages by means of powder , ball , bayonet , and sabre , with an occasional burning of a village or so , and whole acres of growing crops , are treated with the most wicked ingratitude by the forlorn and darkened races ! The following is very touching : — " Ten soldiers were made prisoners . One ofthem , though wounded , had sufficient courage
and strengtklefttokill the Arab who had seized him ; but the poor fellow was immediately massacred by those around , and his unfortunate comrades suffered the same fate . " Shameful 1 When the wounded soldier only killed the Arab "who had seized him , " what an unheard-of atrocity that the " poor fellow " should be immediately butchered ! It is plain there is no teaching Arabs true gratitude . The goddess of war is an ugly old harridan at the best , but is certainly never so disgusting as when she weeps such harlot tears .
A Bio Child To Be Christened.—The New Yo...
A Bio Child to be Christened . —The New York Historical Society has recommended that the United States shall take to itself a name which will be distinctive and appropriate , instead bf its present designation , which _applies quite as much ioh & H a dozen other confederations as to itself . Allegama is the name which , it suggests , from the great mountain ridge which divides the Atlantic from the Mississippi _StatfiB **'" ' ' * ' Cheap Clothing' 'Establishment . — In a little Frenoh . town , some years' ago , they got up twe dramatic entertainments , entitled , "Adam and his Faniily , " and " The Death of Abel ; _botnjjjfwhicn , it was an nounced , were to be performed " in ih costume of the times .
,* Repeal, '
, * Repeal , '
Tit 3m&
tit 3 _M &
Thk "Last Op His Race."—When The Earl Of...
_Thk "Last op his Race . "—When the Earl of Sunderland resigned office in the rcigu of Queen Anne , the Q , ucen offered him a pension of £ 3 , 000 ayear ; but the Earl replied , that if he could have the honour to serve his country , he would not incur the infamy of plundering it . This reply was as insulting to thc Queen as it was iionourable to the speaker and honest to the nation . We only wish that a few of our modern Peers wore equally upright . Crab _Aprils is Paradise . —An Irish gentleman , who paid a visit the other dav to the celebrated pictures of "Adam and Eve , " and " The Temptation , " was asked what hc thought of them . "Ah , hv my word , Aiv ' s skh a mighty darlin cratw , that I ' d ate all the sour crabs in Aiden for her . ' "
PAT AND THE _TEER . With a big _bottle-nosc , and a rummy long chin , His whole physiognomy ugl y as siu , ' A shabby old coat , arid a " shocking bad hat , " And all his clothes equally shabby as that , Lord Br m rode out , on his old Rosinaute , In air very rich , but in flesh very scanty , — In fact , they were both but two bundles of bones . — Seeing Pat cross thc street with a harrow of stones , " Holla ! " cried tho Peer , with his usual force , " Quick , put down that barrow—you'll frighten my horse . " Paddy archly replied , looking sharp as an arrow" By my sowl you ' re more likely to frighten my barrow . '' A Gentle Hikt . —An uncle left in his will eleven silver spoons to his nephew , adding , " If I have not left him the dozen , he knows the reason . " The fact was , the nephew had _^ some time before stolen one of them from his relative .
Payiko for Information . —A man was asked the other day , if Waterloo-bridge was now a losing concern or not ? " Go over it , and you'll be toU'd , waa the reply . Irish Economy . — An Irish officer having lost a parcel of sDk _stocking , sent a bellman about to offer a reward for them , which was so small , that a friend observed he could not expect to recover them ; " AM by J /' saysPaddy , "I advertised them as worsted ones . " A Living . —A gentleman asked a bnre-footed boy what his mother did for a living . " She eats cola victuals , " was the reply .
A "Jew" De Mot , — Somebody asked the Baron Rothschild to take venison . " No , " said the Baron , " I never catsh _wenshan ; I don't tiuk it _ish so coot as mutton . " " Oh , " said the Baron ' s friend , " I wonder at your saying so : if venison is not better than mutton , why docs venison cost so much more ?" " Vy , " replied the Baron , " I vill tell you vy ; in dish varlil the people alvays prefersh vat ish deer to vat ish sheep . " Speaking in Time . —A -buffoon at the court of Francis I . complained to the king that a great lord threatened to murder him for uttering some jokes about liim . "If he does , " said Francis , "heshall be hanged in five minutes after . " " I wish , " replied the complainant , " your majesty would hang him five minutes before . "
Rather " Low . "—Of Mons . Duprez it is said , that on the first night of his singing , one of his notes reached so low on the scale that a scene-shifter ran under the stage to pick it up for him . Foreign Intelligence . — By late accounts from the river Plate it is likely Rosas will soon be dished . Morality reigns in Spain ! The Queen has married M . Munoz . ' From Switzerland we learn that the Diet did not meet the wishes of the people . We infer from this that it must be almost as bad as the Poor Law Diet in England , The Islands in the Pacific were perfectly quiet when the last accounts left . —Great Gun . New Holy Alliance . —Mr . Blackburne , in seconding a resolution at the London Tavern meeting , said , " He considered Lord John Russell to be Sir R . Peel ' s curate , and that he was publishing the banns of marriage between Great Britain and the Church of Rome . "—ibid .
Horrible Mutilation . —A policeman haa just called at our office with the intelligence that he waa standing outside an area , and saw a cook deliberately cut the eyes out of a number of Murphies ; after which she deliberately skinned them ; and , to conclude the deed , plunged the victims into boiling water ! What will the Irish say to this 1—Rnd . Good Advice . — Never deposit your savings in a branch bank , lest the proprietors should "hop the twig" without their customers' leave .
THE ROYAL FAIR . Oh ! what a picture for our meaner eyes , To mark , with joyful feelings of surprise , A palace pair of tender turtle-doves , With not a thought beyond their mutual loves ! _Tluxu a bright paragon of woman ' s charms , He a " Field Marshal , " butwith bloodless arms-And yet not bloodless , for his scutcheon bears The " gore of slaughtered—partridges and hares Oh ! 'tis a picture Raphael might trace—A Mars aud Venus in their fond embrace : Par luckier couple than the fabled one , Since no lame Vulcan comes to spoU the fun ! Oh ! 'tis a picture of transporting bUss , To see thee , Royal mother , smiling , kiss
Those clustering children , beauteous as the day , Whom Albert's love creates , audto « must pay ' . 'Tis sweet to see transported to a throne Those past ' ral scenes Arcadian bowers might own To see withdrawing from the cares of State , Prom Peel's smooth tongue , and Gba ham ' s leaden weight , Our gracious monarch , who prefers , in sooth , The broken English of her Coburg youth . Oh . ' in this age of railroads and of steam , Such love is brighter thau a poet's dream . _Petbabch and Laura rise to life again ; The glades of Windsor hear the amorous strain Though we must mark this difference exist—The Laura boasted not a " CivU List ;" And Petrarch only sang his love and woe , Nor fattened oxen for a Smithfield show!—Satirist .
Brougham in * the Ball Room . —The Court Herald gravely states : — " The rumour respecting the Queen's having abandoned the polka is so far from being correct , that at the last private ball she honoured Lord Brougham with her iiand , that nobleman being one ofthe best polka dancers off the stage —a fact perhaps not generally known . " The Gibbs - Safetx Lock . — The Church of St . Stephen ' s , Walbrook , is open at the roof and three of its windows , and " any burglar , " writes aparishioner , " could break in with , the greatest ease . " We recommend the parish to solicit Alderman Gibbs to cover up . the apertures with his churchwarden ' s accounts , as no one has ever been known to get through them yet . —Punch .
Amusing Irony .. —Some Birmingham workmen have presented Prince Albert with a watch , key , and seals , in admiration of " his patronage of the Fine Arts . " Bravo ! This is the first time we ever knew Brummagem people were given to jokes . —Ibid . O'Connell Permanently Enlarged . — It is impossible for us to imagine what must have been Mr . O'ConneU ' s sensations during the moments that" he felt himself expanding into the power of one of the _monMchies of Europe . " Wc can only rejoice that this extraordinary inflation did not , as was the case with the unfortunate frog expanding into an ox , cause the Agitator to burst I—Ibid ,
Head Dresses of Women . —It the reader be a decided cognoscente , let him go to the attic gallery in the British Museum , and examine the Panathenaic procession , where the virgins are in thc simple attire of the best days of Greece * . but here , or in any of the monuments Of that foster country of art , anu in all the series of Roman sculpture and coins , he will find no head-dress for a female beyond that ofthe veil . The great artists and the _g-reat conquerors of the world never tolerated anything b < M > nd this flowing drapery of the veil as the covering for their wives' or _daughters' heads . They were satisfied with the
beautiful contrast given by the curving lines of its graceful folds ; they admired its simplicity , andthey saw the perfect suitableness of its nature'to Us purposes . The veil could be hastily drawn oyer the head so as to conceal every feature , and to protect from the gaze of man , or the roughness ofthe seasons * , and it could as easily be partially withdrawn to allow of " a side-long look of love , " or wholly to give " a gaze of welcome" to a relation or friend . Happy men , those old Greeks and Romans : they had no milliners ' bills , whatever their jewellers' accounts might _havn come to . —Blackwood ' s Magazine . ... . _„
The Sage and the Simpleton . — As the late Professor Hamilton was one day ; walking near Aberdeen , he met a well-known individual of weak intellect . Good morning , Jemmy , " said the Professor , " how long can a person Jive without brains ? " "I dinna ken , " replied Jemmy , scratching his head ; "how oldarcyouyoursel' ?" A New Degree of Comparison . — " Here , Paddy , here ' . " said a Hibernian to his companion , working upon thc top ofa store , at New York ; "here ia the / Mat horse I ever saw . " " Oh ! you fool , " rejoined his companion , " if I had ye on the mountains o G ' unnamaiTa _, I'd show you a torse us little os two ofit ! " ¦ A Scientific Question Settled . — " What is light . ? " asked a schoolmaster of the booby of a class . '' A sovereign that isn't full weight is light , " waa the prompt reply . QuERT . —Why is a dog with a broken leg like a boy ciphering a sum in arithmetic ?—Because he puts down 3 and carries 1 .
The . _Last Plea . —A fellow waa charged with . stealing a piece of cloth , when his lawyer put in a plea that his client did not see it . "Not see it ? " said the recorder . "He did not see it , sir , " -responded the lawyer . " What do you mean ? " queried the recorder . "Why , I mean , sir , that the individual charged with stealing that cloth did not see it , sirhe could not see it , sir--it ' s an invisible green , ' . " A . Common Case . — "Doctor , " said a person once to a surgeon , " my daughter has had a terrible fit this morning ; she continued M half an hour without knowledge or _understandijig . " " O , " replied tha d _£ ' . " _wv _& _iafoi _tf-at ; _»> any people continue so all their lives . "
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), May 24, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_24051845/page/3/
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