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A CHRISTMAS GARLAXD . WRBATR IL jLvotc wasting lyrical poets few have achieved a greater popularity thanEuti Cook . This arises from the fact , that although her poetry is certainly not of the highest order , it is nevertheless tree to nature . If she essays not those lofty flights -which only th ' e mighty fewmay hope to aspire to , she iBTQot the less in her orbit a true poet . La simplicity she descends to the comprehension of the humblest "; -while allied with that simplicity she exhibits a force of thought which becomes to the many a roice tittering lor them the truths they fed -bnt are finable to articulate . Of this \ re have a striking example in the beautiful lines t > n Christmas which will be found below , and for which -we are indebted to our contemporary the Wtddv Ditpatck . Curious enoneh the
writer is just now located , asd has been since his arrival in London ( he speaks perspnaDv ) in thehome of Ems Cook ' s With , and childhood ! Genius , which enobles all things with which it is associated , may yet hallow the spot where the vouthful mind oftiis pleasingpoetess first awoke to the light and life of the Muse ' s inspiration . Indeed the writer knows those "within the circle of his acquaintance who wouid traverse field and flood , simply to see the spot where he has for the present pitched his tent . He can only say , thatshould they favour him with their company , although holding bo appointment fe » m the lady , nor authorised to represent her , he will jet do his best to welcome her devotees and admirers .
CHXIST 1 US SOXG OT THE JOOi 5 IAX . " A merry Christmas , Gentlemen ;" Tis thns the ancient ditty runs : 3 ut minstrels chime bo hailing rhyme , For Poverty ' s low , haggard sons ! A xnenr Christmas to ye all , "VTho sit beneath thegreen-rwin'd roof , To mark how fast the snow flakes fen , Or listen to the ringing hoo £ A pleasant tune the north "wind burns , TFhen thai ? s without , ami ye "within ; Bnt lite a serpent ' s fang it comes Vpon the poor man ' s naked siin . A merry -Christmas to ye all , "Who fold warm robes oe ' r limb and breast , tVho deep enclosed by curtain'd wall , TVith hlantets on tout couch -of rest . Bui I—the poor man—what shall be The merry Christmas tide to me ?
J * re seen men lew xhe Jog tnmi through , I * re seen them bear the hoUr by , To pile npon the sparkling hearth , And jrrace "the EtalI'd ox smoMng high . The oak-root is a mighty thing ; And beauteous the beny red ; But hollow is the joy they bring To ere * thatunnlr 2 ooi for bread . The poor man ' s fire I—pshaw J how sbonldhe Feel such a strange , lnxnrions want f The poor man ' s meal—0 , let it be Some soap , ungai-nished , cold and scant 1 "A merry Christmas , Gentleman , " Tis thus the ancient ditty runs ; Bnt nonsis : we bear of welcome cheer , Tor Poverty ' s low , haggard sons , Sot malt , nor meat , nor : fruit , nor wine : O , a merrr Christmas -trill be mine I A rapid ding-dong swelleth round ;
The gianf steeples s ~ hnVp with glee ; And misletoe is gaily bound "With branches from the laurel tree . The midnTght gloom is deep—but , hark ! The tones of kindly custom flow ; Sweet music cometh in the dark , TTIth voices greeting , as they go , " A merry Christmas , Gcr . Ccz ^ n - ** Aje , gresl ones , it is all joax own 1 The lour is sung , xhe harp is strung , TThere Plenty nlngsher treasures down : ¦ What has the poor man ^ got to do "Hlth bells and bay-wreaths , songs and mirth ? Let me creep on with Misery ' s crew , T-wirt piercing sky and frozen earth : Kor malt , nor meat , nor fruit , nor wine : O . & merrr Christmas tide is mine I
The rich man ' s boy Janghs lond to find Thick ice upon the streamlet ' s tide ; IDs wand cheeks freshen in the -wind , His -irann feet bound along the slide . Bnt little loves the poor man ' s heir "Upon the stagnant riD to look ; Be cronch . es from the biting air ; His thin blood corfiles -with the ~ brook . The well-born daughter smiles to think How gay the lighted room will seem "When friends shall meet to dance and -drink , And all be glad as fairy dream . The poor man ' s girl shall only eare To nng her tatterM garment tigh t ; To wring- the hoar frost from her hair , AsS pray that sleep may come with night . Pale children of a panper slave , Bare Christmas gambols re will have . '
• ' A roerrj Christmas , GfnfUmen I PS ! , all yc-iir glasses Hgh and fast ; The north -mend ' s shriek is fiercely bleak , "What matter I let it rattle past . " A merry Christmas , Gentlemen , " Teast O 2 and chant a blytbesome strain , The catting chill grows bleaker still , "What matter ! £ 11 the glass again . Stir np the blaze—rejoice and feed . Shout andbeTiappy as ye can , — 2 iy groan arrests ye ' . take ao heed , "Us but a hungry idlo ^ r man . 'A nserrr Christinas , GcnSemen . '" Tis thus the ancient ditty runs : 2 > o tongue shall sing , no bells shall nng ,
Tor Poverty ' s lotr , iaggard sons : ^ or malt , nor meat , nor fruit , nor trine : O , a merry Christmas tide is mine * But " tis time we returned to " The Chimes : a Goblin Story of soaie BtUitKat Rang an Old Tear out and a yew Ttar in . " The reader will remember that we left Alderman Laurie we beg pardon , — Cute -we mean—lecturing -3 & < j and Packard on the enormity of committing matrimony , and forewarning the former that if die ever had the pleasure of being brought before him in his official character of just-ass , he would
certainly j > vt her dmun . This worthy despatches Tronu wiih a letter xo one Sr Joseph Bowley , an agrieulEural friend of Alderman Cut ^ s , and a great "Trknd and Father to the Poor . " The Mallira-Ei : yn teachings of the tripe denouncers have tempted Inauxa admit the belief that the poor are really bad , and the author of their own troubles , and also of all the trouble ihev are supposed to cause the rest of society . IEs interview with Sir Joseph Botrf-cy serves but to strengthen these withering impressions . At &st Jrt > t& > is disposed to greatly admire the representative of the Buckingham School of ILabonr ' s friends : —
" TEE POOI 3 LU ? S JinSD . " * VTon hare no bill or demand Tipon me ; my name is Bowley , Sir Joseph Bowler ; of any kind , from anybody , have you V said Sir Joseph . " If yon hare , present it . There is a cheqne-boot by the side of Mr . Pish . I allow nothing to be carried into the new year . 3 > very description -of account is settled in this bouse at the close of the old one . So that if death was toto— = 11 To cat , " snsrgested Mr . Fish . " To sever , sir , " returned Sir Joseph , -with great asperity , " the cord of existence—any afiairs would be found , " 3 hope , in _ a state of preparation . " M 3 iy dear Sir Joseph , " said the lady , who was greatly younger than the sentleman , " How shocking . '" " Uy Lady Bowley /* returned Sir Joseph ^ floundering now aad then . asi » the great depth of iijs observations ,
" -at ads season of the year we should think of—ofcmrselTes . "We should look into oui <—our—acconnts . " We should feel that evsry return of so eventful a period in human transactions involves matters of deep moment between a -m * Ti and > " «—and Ms bauk-sr . " * » * u I cm the poor man ' s friend , " observed Sir Joseph , glancing at the poor man present . " As such "I may be taunted . As snch I have been taunted . But I ask no other title . " " Bless him for a noble g = nd = saaD : " thought Trottg . % * I flon ' i a ^ rea with Cuts he re , for instance , " said Sir Joseph , holding out the letter . " I don ' t agree with the Pller party . T < ion't agree tvith any party . -My friend the poor man has no business -srifh anything of that sort , and nothing of that sort has any business ¦ wit h Tirm 3 fv friend the poor man in my disrnct , is my Easiness . ~ So man or body of men has any Tight to interfere between my friend and me . This is the ground I take . I assume a—a paternal character toirards mv Mend . I saT , mv good fellow , 1 -will treat
you pateroaH ; . * Toby listened with great gravity , and began to feel more fomfortshle . This comfortable state of feeling did not last long . It was a rale with Sir Joseph to settle all outstanding accounts on the day previous to the commencement of the 2 Jew Year . His secretary , a Mr . FUh , is thus employed -with a huge cheque-book beside Mm , "when the Baronet questions Trotty as to hit preparedness forthe New Tear , and is shocked to hear Trottg confess that ie owes some ten or twelve shillings to alfri . CUckcmtaZker , who keeps a small shoi ) rn -the * treoeral line ; " besides which he
owes some trifle for rent . The letter Trotty has totmght from Jtetrinan Cute apprises Sir Joseph of ihearrrral in London of one William Fern , a labourer on the latter ' s estate , seeking employment ; and that he ( the . Alderman )^ will engage to " put down" this obnoxious personage if Sir Joteph Mares it , , Str Joeeph , of course , desires it ; aid Trottg is Bent lack mtb . a ^ reply to that effect . Baring discharged Ms eommission , ie is returning home , "when heaocidentaDy shnnbles yrp against Q 6 & writable W 31 Tern , who is carrying a little Eiri , has niece , vn . iis aims , and inquiring for the residence of Alderman Cut * .
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WILL TEEN . " Ifs impossible , " cried Toby with a start , " that your name ' s Pern 1 " ** Eh "' cried the other , turniuj * on him iu astonishment . "Pern ! WillJFemV ^ : J Tro : it . " That ' s my name , " replied the other . " Why tljen , " cried Trotty , seizing him by the arm , and looking cautiously around , " for Heaven ' s sake don ' t go to him I Don ' t go to him ! Hell put you down as sure as ever you » -ere born , llere ' come up this allej , and 111 tell you what I mean . Dun ' t go to him . " His new acquaintance looked as if he thought him mad -, bai be bore him company nevertheless . When they were shrouded from observation , Trottv told him what
he kuew , and what character lie had rec-tived , and nil abont it , "The subject of his history listened to it with a calmness that surprised lam . He did not contradict or iiiterrup ' - it once . He nodded his head now and then—more in ' corroboration of an old and wora-out story , it appeared , than in refutation of it , and once or fnriee threw back his hat , and passed his freckled hand over a brow ; where every farroTr he had ploughed seemed to have set its image in little . But he did no more . " It is true enongh in the main / ' he said , " master . I could sift grain from husk here and there , bnt let it be as tis . What odds ? I have gone against his plans : to Tay misfortun . I can't help it ; I should do the like to-morrow . As to character , them gentlefolks will
search and search , and pry and pry , and have it as free from spot and speck in us , afore they'll help us to a dry good word ! Well ; 1 hope they don ' t lose good opinion as easy as -we do , or their lives is strict indeed , and hardly worth the lieeping . For myself , master , I never took with that hand "—holding it before him— " what wasn ' t my own ; and never held it back from work , however hard , or poorly paid . Whoever can deny it 5 let him chop it off ! Bnt when work won't maintain me like a human creetnr ; when my living is so bad , that I am hungry , ontof doors and in ; when 1 see a whole working life begin that way , go on that way , and end that way , without a chance or change ; then I say to the gentlefolks , * Keep 3 way from me 1 Let my cottage be . My doors is dark enough without yoor darkening of ' moTf . Don't look for me to come np into the Park to
help the show -when there ' s a birthday , or a fine speech-Tnaking , or what not . Act your plays and games withont me , and be welcome to ' -em , and enjoy ' em . We ' ve nought to do with one another . I ' m best let alone . '" "With some difficulty Trotty persuades his new found acquaintance to accompany him home , and share his humble lodging for the night . Arrived there , Trottv expends the sixpence he has earned in carry-* ing Cult ' s letter , in purchasing tea and a rasher of bacon for his wearied guests . "Here we are and here we go I" cried Trotty , running roundthe room , and choking audibly . " Here , Tncle Will ! Here ' s a fire , you know ? Why don ' t yon come to the fire ? 0 , here we are and here we go ! Meg , my precious darling , # rheTe ' s the Settle % Here it is and . here it goes , and it'll bUe in no time' . "
The whole scene is delightful , and in the author ' s best style . We regret we cannot afford room to give it . After tea the man and child retire to Test , and Trotty betakes himself to the perusing of his newspaper , in which he lights on the account of a woman who had not only laid desperate hands on her own life , but also on that of her young child . Shocked at so unnatural and cruel an " act , Trottf * evil genius again takes possession ef him , and he eon-. eludes thai the poor must be bad , and that those who could do such deeds had no business on earth . The goblin part of the story now commences . "While running over the newspaper horrors , Trotty falls asleep ; and what follows is a vision , in which , a la
Scrooge , he is made to see into futurity by the goblins of the bells . Of course the reader is not let into the secret that the scenes which arise before Trotty '> eyes are really and only the shadows of a disordered imagination , occasioned by the indigestibility of a tnpe dinner . That is a secret which the author keeps to the close of the volume , when , to the great relief both of Trotty and the reader , the phantoms conjured up disappear , and all ends joyously and happily . To return to the belk . Trotty has hardly thought the bad thought of his fellow-creatures occasioned by the perusal of his newspaper , when ) o ' . the Chimes begin to ring , and to his fancv their one unvarying pea ] is " Toby Veck , Toby Yeck ; waiting for you , Toby ! Come and see us , come and see us . Drag him to us , drag him to us—haunt and hunt him , haunt and hunt him ' . " Under the influence oftlmmvsterions summons Tobu leaves his room and
hies Mm to the church . To his surprise he finds the door a-jar , and impelled onward by some agency he is powerless to contend with , he mounts the stairs of the tower . Higher up , and higher up , he proceeds , until , by climbing and clambering , he at jast finds himselfamong the bells . Appalled now . at his own daring , and the fearful loneliness of hi « situation , he holloas for help ; but the echo is the only reply called forth , and , overcome with terror , lie sinks down in . a svtoob . Awaking from his stupor , he is still more terrified by witnessing the presence of a myriad « f goblins . Getting to discern more closely his present company , he sees among them , though but darkly visible , the Goblin of the Great Bell . The great goblin charges poor Trotty with divers misdemeanours , more particularly * his recent uncharitable thoughts when perusing his newspaper .
Lastlv , and most of all , pursued the Bell , " Who turn ? his back upon the fallen and disfigured of his kind abandons them as vile ; and does not trace and track with p 5 tvin «* eye « the unfenced precipice by which tli-.-v fell from good — grasping in their fall some tuft ? and shred 3 of that lost soil , and clinjring to them still when bruised and dying in the gnlph below—does wrong to Heaven and man , to time and -to eternity . And yon have done that wrong . '" Spare me . " cried Trotty , falling on his knet-s : " fur merev's sake V *
The Goblin orders Trotty to go forth , accompanied by the "Spirit of the Chimes ;"_ but first the tower opens at his feet , and he sees his own form lying on the outside , crushed and motionless . TroWj is made to understand that an interval of nine years has . elapsed siace he , ascending the tower as we have ' seen , was , by a false step , precipitated to the bottom and killed . II Is task is now to go forth in the spirit , and , seeing the woes of the poor , learn the - causes of tlu * ir crimes ; and this too from the then condition of those dearest to him . The first scene presented to him is his daughter ile-i , now grown nine years older than when he last saw her , endeavouring to earn a miserable subsistence by working at embroidery . In this and subsequent scenes the author vividly and painfully pictures the misery of the London needlewomen . Meg wasn ' t marriedtHanks to the accursed Cutes and Filers for that .
Thanks to their infernal lessons , RieJtard had taken it into hi > head that be might do better ; that 3 . % wasn ' t good enough for him , &c . The " gentlemen" too had frightened Mty . She feared , if married , she would be deserted , and all sorts of misfortunes would be her lot . So they had lingered , and lingered , until their trust in one another was broken ; and so at last was the match . It was thus—her heart well-nigh broken , her beauty gone , aud condemned to unceasing drudgery for a wretched subsistence , that Trotty beheld bis daughter . IAUan too ( Will Fern's niece ) had grown a woman , and occupied , with M&q , the same room , following the same employment . llear the miseries of the embroideress —ttie worker of eighty flowers for sixpence ! 0 , profitocracy , where is thy shame ? 'Tis IAUan who speaks : —
" Such work , such work ; so many hours , so many days , so many long , long nights of hopeless , cheerless , neverendinjr work—not to heap np riches , nottoZiveprondly or gaily , not to live upon enough , however coarse , bnt to earn bare bread ; to scrape together just enough to toii upon , and want upon , and keep alive in us the consciousness of our hard fate ! 0 Heg , Meg I" She raised her voice and twined her arms about her as she spoke , Jikt- one in pain . "How can the crueJ world go round , aad bear to look upon such lives V But poor Lilian had not yet reached the worst : a lower depth was beneath her . The scene next changes to Bowlev Hall , the seat of
Sir Joseph B-yaleu , '' Friend and Father of the ooor . " It Is » w Tear ' s-day , and . also the birth-day of Ln > iy Bowlev . The flail was full of visitors . Cute and Fikr were there . There was to be a great dinner in the Great Hall , at which Sir Joteph Bowlty , in his celebrated character of " Friend and Father of the poor , " was to make his great speech . " -5 » Joseph Bowley , Baronet and Member of Parliament , was to play a match at skittles—real skittles , with his tenants . " It was while the Baronet was thus engaged that Cute encounters Mr . Secretary Fizh : —but these worthies shall speak for themselves : —
THE " PCTTEB . DOWS ' i" LAMEKTAT 10 N OVES X " XESPECTAB 1 X " . SD 1 CJRE . " My dear Alderman Cute , " said Mr . Fish ; " a little more this way . The most dreadful circumstance- has occrxrreH . 1 haT ? this moment received the intelligence . - The most frightful and deplorable event J " " Fish . " returned the Alderman . "Fisbl my good fellow , what is the matter ? Nothing revolutionary , 1 hope I Xo—no attempted interference with the magistrates ?' " Deedles , the bankt-r , " gasped the secretary . " IJeedles , Brothers , who was lo have been here to-day—high in office in the Goldsmiths' Company . " " Xot stopped ! "' exclaimed the Alderman . " It can't be 1 " " Shot himself . " Good God . '" - " Put a doable-barrelled pistol to his month , in his own counrinsr-hoose , " said Mr . Pish , " and blew his brains
out . 2 io motive . Princely circumstances V _ " Circumstances I" exclaimed the Alderman . " A man of noble forttme . One of the most respectable of men . Suicide , Mr . Fish ! By his own hand V 15 This -very morning , " returned Mr . Fish . 0 , the brain , the brain ! " exclaimed the pious Alderman , lifting up his hands . " 0 , the nerves , tbe nerves ; the mysteries of this machine called Man ! O , the little < bat nnhinges it : Poor creatures that we are ! Perhaps a dinner , 2 £ r . Pish . Perhaps the conduct of his son , who , I have heard , ran very wild , and was in fhe habit of drawing bills upon him without the leasi
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authority 1 A most respectable man . One of the most respectable men I ever knew J A lamentable instance , Mr . Fish . A public calamity ! I shall make a- point of weaving the deepest mourning . A most respectable man : But there is One above . We must submit , Mr . Fish . We must submit 1 " "What , Alderman ! ! No word of putting down ! Remember , Justice , your high moral boast and pride . Come , Alderman I . Balance those scales . Throw me into this , the empty one , no dinner , and nature ' s founts in some poor woman , dried by starving misery , and rendered obdnrate : to claims for which her offspring has authority in holy mother Eve . Weigh me the two ; yon Daniel going to judgment , when vour dav shall
come I V > eigh them , in tbe eves of sufiering thousands , audience ( not unmindful ) of the grim farce you play Or , supposing that you strayed from your five wits—it ' s not so far to go hut that it niight be , and laid hands upon that throat of yours , warning your feliows lif you have a fellow ) , how they croak their comfortable wickedness to raving heads and stricken hearts . What then ! " It is one of the biographers of Burns , when commenting on that inimitable production of the poet ' s pen , the Twa Bogs ^ who remarks , in allusion to the original of the tyrant factor , — "how easv it is to purchase an immortality of infamy ! " We have the truth of this beautifully exemplified in the case
of the real Alderman CuU , whose empty-headed pomposity and heartless cruelty is in this character gibbetted for public scorn , not only for the present time , but for generations yet to come . The utility and good of this punishment is , that so long as the Lauries—we moan the Cutes—continue to exist , though the present unenvied representative of the race may have ceased to be—long gone down into the night of fathomless obscurity / , so long as one of tbe race is to be found , iere is the whip to scourge him with . Here is , ready heated , the iron with which to brand him , a mark for public shame . Inflated , cruel , cold-blooded "putters-down" of your miserable fellow-creatures ; tramplers upon your
own species ; behold how heaven-guided genius shall "put yoii down" I Petty tyrantaof a day—contemptible imitators and personifiers of incarnate evil , see the cominff doom of your class . More potent than a two-edged sword , the pen shall smite yon to the dust . Weapon of the poet and the patriot , thou art man ' s greatest good . ' man ' s source of present hope and future happiness ! Thine is the mission to vanquish the " putters down , " and raise the oppressed and prostrated children of poverty and toil . Before leaving this portion of the Chimes , we must
give another scene , from the doings at Bowley BaD . Anything more powerful in vindication of the poor , and denunciation of that infernal system which creates crime , and then persecutes to despair and destruction the criminal , never came from the pen of even a Dickbss . Sir Joseph has made his great speech , full of the humbug and hypocrisy which may be heard at every agricultural dinner in the kingdom . He has given as a toast " The dignity of Labour , " (!) when Will Fern breaks through the assembled thirong of rascals and slaves , and thus manfully proclaims
LABOCB ' WB 0 N 08 . 'Gentlefolks '" he said , " ' ve drunk tbe Labourer . Look at me 5 " 1 Just come from jail , " said Mr . Fish . 'Just come from jail , " said Will . " And neither { or the first time , nor the second , nor the third , nor yet the fourth . " ? * * ' GvntlefoTks ! " repeated Will Fern , " Look at me ! Tod see I'm at the worst . Beyond all trust or harm beyond your help : for the time when your kind words or kind actions could have done ste good "—he struck his hand upon Ids breast and shook his head— "is gone , with the scent of last year ' s beans or clover on the air . Let me say a word for these" ( pointing to the Labouring people in the hall ); " and when you ' ve met together , hear the real truth spoken out for once . "
"Gentlefolks , I ' ve lived many a year in this place . You may see the cottage from the stink fence over yonder . I ' ve seen the ladies draw it in their books a hundred times . It looks irell in a picter , IVe heerd say ; but there an ' t weather in picters , and maybe ' tis fitter for that than for a place to live in . Well ! I lived there . How hard-7—how bitter hard 1 lived there , I won't say . Any day in the vear , and every day , you can judge for your own selves . * * ' Tis harder than you think for , geutlefolks , to grow up decent , in such a place . That I growed up a man and not a brute , says something for me—as I was then . As I am now , there ' s nothing can be said for me or done for me . I ' m past it . * * I dragged on , " said Fern , after a moment's
silence , " somehow . Neither me nor any other man knows how ; but so heavy , that I couldn't put a cheerful face upon it , or make believe that I -Has anything but what I was . Now , gentlemen—you gentlemen tiiai sits at Sessions—when you see a man with discontent writ on his face , yon says to another , ' s suspicious . I has my doubt , ' say s you , ' about Will Fern . Watch that fellow" I don't say , gentlemen , it ain't quite nat'ral , but I say ' tis so ; and from that hour , whatever Will Fern does , or letB alone—all one—it goes against him . " Alderman Cute stuck his thumbs in his waistcoat , pockets , and leaning back in his chair , and smiling , winked at a neighbouring chandelier . As much as to say , "Of course ! I told you so . The common cry ! Lord bless you , we are up to nil this sort of thing—• myself and human nature . "
Now , gentlemen , " said Will Fern , holding out his hando , and flushing for an instant in his haggard face . " See how your laws are made to trap and hunt us when we'ru brought to this . I tries to Jive elsewhere . And I'm a vagabond . To jail with him ! I comes back here . I goes a nutting in your wood * , and breaKs—who don'ta Umber branch or two . To jail with him ! One of your keepers sees me in the broad day , near my own patch of garden , with a gun . To jail with him . ' 1 has a nat ' ral angry word with that man when I'm free again . To jail frith him ! J cuts a stick . To jaO ni th him ! I eats a rotten apple ox a turnip . To jail with him : It's twenty mile away : and coming back , I be > : s a trifle on the road . To jail with him ! At last , the constable , the keeper—anybody—finds me anywhere , a doing anything . To jail with him , for he's a vagrant , aud a jail-bird known ; and jail's tbe only home he ' s
The Alderman nodded s . igaciously , [ as who should say , ' A very good home too !" " Bo I say this is to serve mt cause ! " cried Fern . " Who can give me back my liberty , who can give me back my good same , who can give me back my innocent niece ? Not all the lords and ladies in wide England . But gentlemen , gentlemen , dealing with other men like me , begin at the right end . Give us , in mercy , better homes when we ' re a lying in our cradles ; give us better food when we ' re a working for our lives ; give us kinder laws to br ing us back when we ' re a going wrong ; and don ' t set 3 jail , jail , jail , afore us , everywhere we turn .
There an't a condescension you can show the Labourer then that be won't take , as ready and as grateful as a man can be ; for he has a patient , peaceful , willing heart . But you must put his rightful spirit in him first ; for whether he ' s a wreck and ruin such as me , or is like one of them that stand here now , his spirit is divided from you at this time . Bring it back , gentlefolks , bring it back ! bring it back , afore the day comes when even his Bible changes in his altered mind , and the words seem to him to read , as they have sometimes read in my own eyes—in jail : ' Whither them goest , I can Xot go ; where thou lodgest , I do Not lodge ; thy people are not my people ; Xor thy God my God !'"
The scenes we have above copied are , we should state , ¦ witnessed by the ghost of Trotty Veck . Another per iod of time now elapsed , and the scene changes once more to Meg ' s ¦ wretched home . Will Fern in his speech refers to the loss of his innocent niece ; in this scene we have the solution of his complaint . Poor Lilian , notpossesssing the strength of mind which has saved Meg through all her misery from temptation , has fallen . Poor Lilian has become one of those outcasts which society makes , and then punishes . But though sunken and fallen from virtue , the good of her heart is nnextinguished . At length she dies on her knees , clasped in the arms of Meg , to whom she has returned to
solicit her forgiveness .: The story of Lilian ' s death is piteously , beautifully told : and we regret we cannot transfer it to our * ' Garland : " but room we cannot find . In this scene , but prior to the death of Lilian , we are introduced to Richard again : who , from the manly lov « r lie was ere he | had drank atthepoisonousstreams of Malthusianism , ha 9 sunk into the confirmed drunkard ; the half idiotic , sottish vagrant . Time rolls on , and again the scene changes . Richard had sunk into that state of debasement that nobody would employ him . At length he throws himself at the feet of Meg and begs her to take him as her husband , as the only possible chance of Ms redemption . Poor Meg yields to his entreaties , hoping to save him for the sake of what they had once been to each other .
They were married ; they have a baby ; but the attempt at reformation is made top late . Richard takes ill ; lingers weeks and months ; and at last dies miserably . The climax of Meg ' s misery now approaches . Having lost her regular work , she can only obtain chance work , that brings her for " a day and night of labour as many farthings as there were figures on the dial ! " Without employment of any sort , on the Ja .- < t day of the Old Year she walks " the city seeking work , but seeking in vain . She had not broke : ) her fast all day ; and now she applies for public . harity , but this too she is refused . Faint . and gidoy she retraces her steps to her miserable home ; where , to crown her wretchedness , she is repulsed on the threshold by the brutal occupier of theihouse . She pleads in vain . At length , despair ' s complete victim , she turnsproceeds down the dark street—and hastens to the river ' s brink : a true picture of Maby Fuhlit , and too many hapless ones 'who , like her , have been driven to destruction .
THE XOST MOTHS * . In her own scanty shawl she wrapped the baby warm . ¦ With her fevered hands she smoothed , its limbs , com . posed its face , arranged its mean attire . In her wasted arms she folded it , as though she never would resign it more . And with her dry lips kissed it in a final pang , and last long agony of lore .
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Putting : its tiny hand up to her neck , and holding it there , within her dress , next to her distracted heart she set its sleeping face against iier : closely , steadily , against her : and sped onward to tUe river . To the rolling river , swift and dini-, where Winter Night sat brooding like the last dark thoughts of many who liad sought a refuge there before her . Where scattered lights upoa the banks gleamed sullen , red , and dull ; as torches that were burning there , to show the way to a death . Where no abode of living people cast its shadow on the-deep , impenetrable , melancholy shade . Through all these horrors , the spirit of the old man follows his daughter . The fearful agony he endures in bis vain attempts to grasp her , to drag Iier back , is depicted with a master ' s hand ; but with such truth and minuteness tli . it the liveliest pain must be felt b y all who read this portion of the book . Most piteously poor Trotty appeals to the spirits of the Chimes to save his child , lus Men from
the approaching dread catastrophe . " Have mercy on her ! " he exclaimed , " as oue in whom this dreadful crime has sprung from love perverted ; from the strongest , deepest love we fallen creatures know ! Think what her misery mast have been , when such seed bears such fruit ! Heaven meant her to bo good . There is no loving mother on the earth , who niight not come to this , if such a life had gone before . " She was in his arms . He held her now . His strength was like a giant's . # # "I know that we must trust and hope , and neither doubt ourselves , nor doubt the good in one another . I have learnt it from the creature nearest to my heart . 0 , spirits , merciful find good , I take your lesson to mv breast along with her ! 0 , spirits , merciful and good , I am grateful !" He might have said more , but the Bells , the old familiar Bells ; his own dear , constant , steady friends , the Chimes ! began to ring the joy ptalsfor a New Year , so lustil y , bo merrily , so happily , so gaily , that he leapt upon his feet and broke the spell that bound him .
Yes ; the spell is broken— -the vision is gone^—the goblins have vanished—the spirit of the Chimes has accomplished its work . " And whatever you do , father , " said Meg , " don't eat tripe again , without asking some doctor whether it ' s likely to agree with you ; for how you have been going on , good gracious ! Guess Trotty ' s astonishment and delight ! For the details of the finale we must refer our readers to the book itself . Enough , that all ends happil y , and Richard and Meg , young , happy , ; and hopeful , are married . Lilian is not dead , out . still a beauteous cliild . Will Fern finds a friend more likely than Alderman Cute , in the person of Mrs . Chickenstalker , who proves to be a relation he was in quest of .
And the whole ends with a joyous dance , in which Trotty and Mrs . ChickensUxlker take the lead , in a step unknown before or since ; founded on his own peculiar trot . The Chimes , in its " outward and visible appearance , " is an elegant , book ; beautifully illustrated by Messrs . Maclisb , Stanfirld , Lsjsch , and Doyle . We remember no work of Mr . Dickens ' s which has been so fortunate in this respect . Its charming pictorial embellishments , accompanying the sterling stuff of which the tale is composed , fully warrants us entitling the Chimes , " The Album for the Million for 1845 . " And now , " reader , having traced the story of the Chhncs—imperfectly , we admit—from its commencement to its close , what think you of this latest of the productions of Charles Dickens ?
Whatever be that opinion , ours shall be given unreservedly . Several of the critic-crafts—they must be bright boys at their business !—have very sagely set about comparing the Chimes with the previous works of Mr . Dickens ! The upshot of their comparisons—not odious , bnt stupid ^ -h& 8 been that these knowing gentlemen have voted the Chimes trash . ' We opine they have discovered b y this time that the public , and themselves , hold opinions directly the reverse of each other . It appears not to have struck these worthies that the Chimes is a book widely different to any woi'k heretofore written by Mr . Dickens . True , every work yet written by Mr . Dickens has had for its object the elevation and improvement of mankind , and
the enlargement of those kindly sympathies which have so much to do with the existence and promotion of human happiness . But , in the Chimes , expressing views of man and society far more comprehensive than he has before put forth , Mr . Dickes 8 enters the public arena , as the champion of the people / Welkmms , however happy , would be out of place in a work of this description . The masses are the victims of undeserved suffering ; their cause is a solemn one ; and solemnly , with an eloquence that was never excelled ; in "thoughts that breathe and words that burn ; " Mr . Dickens pleads that cause against the cruel , canting , unnatural , blaspheming doctrines and actions of the ruling classes of society .
But the parties who denounce the Chimes as " trash , " charge on Mr . Dickens the sins of " exaggeration , " and " extravagance , " " inflation" and "falsehood" and an intent to array " party against party . and class against class . " We leave it to our readers , too many of whom we fear are not far removed febm the suffering conditian of the Will Fern's and Meggy Veek ' s—to say , whether in describing the wrongs of their class , the condition of the agricultural labourer , and the bitter toil of the sempstress , Mr . Dickens has been guilty of " exaggeration , " " extravagance , " " inflation , " or " falsehood . " "Party' es " arrayed against party , " and " class against class ; " they have been long so arrayed ; for that , the rich and the ruling
classes are responsible . The advocates . for , and apologists of , the rich , are numerous as corruption's wages can purchase ; but the advocates of the poor are , like " angel's visits , few and far between . " >" obly , therefore , does Mr . DiriiKss throw the weight of his great name into the scale on poverty ' s side ; and if lie seems to join in the strife of " party against party , and class against class , " it is to help the wronged to justice , and the miserable to a better state of existence : ends which not only sanctity the struggle , but would also , if achieved , put an end to the war of classes and of parties , and establish unity and brotherhood in the place of hostility aud hatred . We do not say that the C' / vimes is in each and every
tittle a superior work . On the contrary , in plot and construction , we think it decidedly inferior to any other production of Mr . Dickens ' s pen . But viewed in its political character and bearings , it is d *< "itle * lly the best work Air . Dickens has produced . It is the voice of poetry j the voice of thought and feeling , appealing to eternal justice against " man ' s inhumanity to man : " a voice , which , while it will cause many an oppressor to shrink before its echo , will impart hope to the oppressed , and strengthen in thousands the cheering , saving belief toata better future for the many will [ come , when the condition of England ' s sons will be the reverse of that of Will Fern ; and England ' s daughters be redeemed from that -worse than Egyptian ; bondage , so truly , sadly pictured in the character of Meggy
Veck . Ffaitb , ' "Boz" has " played the very dickens" with our "Garland . " Trotty , and Meg , and Will , and CuU , have so trenched upon our allotted space , that despite our second ^ YTeath , we shall , after all , be compelled to omit several bouquets , poetical and prose , which we had intended to form " part and parcel'' of this year ' s selection . Having said so much in praise of the press when rightly directed , and the pen when honestly employed , we don't know that "we could do better than give the follow ing beautiful lines by a lady , Mrs . ^ E . S . Craven Grbes , in honour of ;
THE OBEY OOOSE QUILL . Feather of Eagle , or plume of snow , On warrior ' s crest , or on beauty ' s brow , Kissing the fair cheek's peach-like bloom . Or seen by a flash thro' the battle ' s gloom . Mighty your conquests ; but prouder still Is the triumph won by the Grey Goose Quill . Te have revell'd long in the golden store Of the poet ' s thought and the sage ' s lore ; Ye who have won by the power of mind The charmed'iland where the past is shrin'd . But the veil from the temple is rent , and lo ! In a thousand hearts its treasures glow , And a spirit lives in that mighty throng , Born of the glory obscured so long .
The many haye drank from the eovnr divine , And their souls are athirst for its deathless wine Light from heaven has warm'd the clay—Darkness shrinks from the coming day ; The world ' s deep heart has felt a thrill , The hidden niight of the grey Goose Quill ! In the darken'd mine , by the restless wheel , Bright thoughts on the weary heart shall steal . The furrow has past from the craftsman ' s brow , Some pleasant fancy is with him now ! Or his soul is tranc * d by the potent rhyme Of s 6 me mighty bard of the olden time ! He shall crouch no more by his cottage hearth , A darken'd ,, sordid shape . of earth , A tool just fashion'd of human clay , To be wrought at will , or cast away . His mind is awake t—he has heard the call" Knowledge and life for . tbe bondsman thrall ;" He has wip'd ^ from his name the serfdom ban ,
And taken his place with his fellow man . Knowledge , and Power , and Freedom !—ye Speed well on your course , 0 mighty , three ! Who shall resist your boundless wifij Or stay the flight of the Srey Goose Quill How shall th ' y wonders , O , Art ! expand When the mind shall guide the working hand , When science enlightens the craftsman ' s skill , And his thought shall live and be snap' d at will ! The many shall judge , and be toss'd no more Like shifting sands on the wild sea shore ; Tool * o ' f a party—their new waked power Shall have noble aims in the coming hour-True and trustful shall each unite , ; Calm in their own acknowledg'd might" Lana « f tbe bold , the wiie , the free ! Bright shall thy name amid nation * be . Knowledge and-fr £ e « tont shall guard ; the still , For strong is , the might of the Grey Goose Quill . We closed Wreath I . with a call to our readers to drink the health of France and Freedom's poet
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Bebaxoer ; and we cannot close Wreath II ,. 'without reverting to the noble spirits who , leaving all for liberty , devote themselves to freedom's holy cause . We have lately been gratified , delighted we should say , by perusing in the Athenazum translations ot a few of the lyrics of Ferdinand Freiusihth , a German poet , who though very young , has already acquired an European fame . He , was in the receipt of a pension from the King of Prussia , bestowed on him in 1842 , which pension he has voluntarily relinquished , in order that , untrammelled andjunbought , he may devote his high poetic powers to the service of the people and liberty . In his own words : — " Free , I ' iihoose my station With the people , andjtheir cause make mine . ' Poet > tnarch atuL labour with thy nation !' Thus I read , to-dav , rtby Schiller ' s line . "
The following splendid song , by Freiligrath , we commend to our readers , ] hoping that wherever the sons of Democracy are assembled ; wherever the bowl is quaffed to the dojwufall of despots , and the triumph of liberty , there will this magnificent hymn ringfrom the lips of every patriot present .
OUR FREEDOM AND RIOIIT ' . 1 0 ! think not henceforth they } must lie in the tomb , 0 ! think not henceforth they , will hide from our sight , Though the voice of bold speakers is bid to be dumb , And none but the false ones h ' ave licence to write , No ' no ! tho' our martyrs in exile abide them , Though others , outworn with jthe Tyrants who ride them , Should lance their own veins in the dungeons that hide " them , j Vet Freedom still lives . ' and beside her The Right . Our Freedom and Right !
Nor let us look blank at a single rebuff , — To purchase full victory , the warrior must fight ; This stirs but , and rouses the jbearts of true stuff To cheer all the louder for Freedom ! and Right ! For still the two Holy ones flourish together ; Share arms and adventures through fair and foul weather , Where Right is , the Free , uninvited , fly thither ; And ever , where Freemen livej there rules The Right ! Lives Freedom , with Right .
Let this , too , console us : the pair , till to-day From conquest to conquest ne ' er made such a flight -, Ne ' er flowed their full breathing with healthier play , To stir e ' en the humblest of hinds with its might ;—; All round the wide world , to each state they are speeding On each coast they are wakening , and mustering , and leading : ' They have struck from the vassal the bonds he lay dead in , j And stripped from the Negro the chain of the White !
Twin Freedom and Right . Aye ! spread are their banners , and wave everywhere , Each shame to aboHsh , each wrong to requite ; Aye ! here if defeated , ' ley * cjonquerors there ! And their triumph , ut , t , shall be perfect as bright . 0 God ! what a garlandto deckjthe high pair in , AH leaves that all lands on their standards are wearing , The olive of Greece , the green trefoil of Erin , And the German oak-wreath , Showing first in the light ! Our Freedom and Right ! True , many , ere then , that nowjgroan , will lie low ; Yet still sleep the just , and their slumber is light—And still on their tombs the twih glorious shall glow , For whom we bless them , too , 4—our freedom and right Charge glasses ! a health to the brave , that contending For truth , dared oppression and misery , unbending , Wlio wrongfully suffered our right for defending ;—To justice for ever ! and freedom through Right ;
Our Freedom through Right ! We shall probably take an early opportunity of bringin" our readers to a closer acquaintance with this noble poet . In the meantime three cheers and success to "Young Germany , " and their glorious bard Ferdinand j REiuoBA-rir . But we must conclude . The space allotted for our " Garland" lias been greatlj ' exceeded ; and though we are loth to leave our pleasing labour , yet quit it we must . Where , then , can vye find a hearty , joyous chorus with which to conclude ? We have found it ! Here , from the pen of our [ talented and esteemed friend , James M'Kowen , several of whose excellent effusions have enriched our columns , we give , — last , not least , — j
A Chbistmasjsong . Come drink again with me , ! boy 8 , And never fear , and never fear , The man , if man he be , boys , Who'd at us sneer , who'd at us sneer , In moments bright as this boys , What churlish soul , what churlish soul Would e ' er refuse to kiss , boys , The wassail bowl , the wassail bowl . Then fill the goblet , now bojrs , To friendship dear , to friendship dear , Ere Time bind o ' er his broW , boys , The waning year , the waning year . To him of honest heart , boys , We'll drink indeed , we'll ilrink indeed ; Who scorneth to desert , boys ,
A friend in need , a . friondjin need ; Who dreads no despot ' s chain , boys , Nor bigot ' s bann , nor bigot ' s bann ; But nobly doth maintain , boys , The Rights of Man , the Rights of Man Then drink to him with me . jboys , And never fear , and never fear ; 'Tis " Nobles " such as he , boys , That we revere , that we revere ! To him who strives to dry , boys , The sufferer ' s tear , the sufferer's tear ; Or breathe a word of balm , boys , In sorrow ' s ear , in sorrow ' s ear ; And ever proves a foe , boys , j To guilty power , to guilty power ; To him the bowl shall now , boys ,
This joyous liou-r , this joyous liour . Then drink to him with me , boys . And never fear , and never ; fear ; 'Tis Xoblcs such as he , boys ^ That we revere , that we revere ! \ nd now , good reader , our " j Garland" for 184-1 is completed ; and for us it onl y remains to wish thee a happy new year ! In the ! beautiful language of Charles Dickens— " May the New Year be a happy one to yon—happy to manyimore whose happiness depends on you ! So may each year be happier than the last , and not the humblest of our brethren or sisterhood debarred their rightful share , in what our Great Creator formed them to enjoy !"
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Egos rs Lent ; — In Ireland regulations for fasting are differently . aminged in different parifiHesj in some eggs are forbidden to be tlse 5 j L ^ 'evefl ; raaJk , or cream m tea ; on stated ' days . In a'parigh ; itf'the county of KiWare eggs ' were prohibited ; 'Mta / ltt / eonfossion , Paddy Blake , the son of a celebrated ctfek-¦ fi ghter , deposed to having infringed ! tlie order ; '' [ Upon being told b y the priest that those eggs might have contained chickens , Paddy replied , ' ¦ ' ? Oeh " , no , ^ our riverence , sure they were biled . " " No niatteiy " replied the priest , " they might have had - chickens'all the same . " The priest , however ; considered the offender's age , and pardoned himr A- short time afterwards the priest , wishing for some of the ¦ fine breed of Paddy ' s father ' s cocks , asked Paddy for a clutch of his best eggs . Pat promised to obey , and in
artew days 'returned with the eggs . They were duly placed under a careful hen , and at the end of ^ three weeks , the usual time allotted for hatching chickens , inspection was made , but not a single egg chipped . A month passed , and no chickens . At length , af ter five weeks , the priest ' s patience was exhausted , and curiosity led him to break one of the eggs , when , ' to his astonishment , he found it was boiled , and hard as a bullet : he went through the ceremony of breaking the whole clutch , and having discovered that all were alike , he sent for Paddy , and thus accosted him : " You little rascal , the eggs you brought me were all boiled . " '' Och , yes , your riverence ; I was afraid I'd smash them if I brought them raw ; and , sure , your honour told me there might be chickens in them just the same . "
Divorce . — "I ' ve a friend who wants to get divorced , " said a gentleman to a legal fiiend , . " how ' s he to set about it ? " " If he's rich , go to Doctors ' Commons ; and provided he can prove the necessary facts , he may do it for a thousand pounds . " " But he's poor , sir . " " In that case , " said the lawver , " he must go to the uaioa workhouse , where , without proving any crime against bis wife , they will divorce' him directly . " Husband and Wife . —Sterne , who used his wife very- ill , was one day talking to Garrick in a fine sentimental manner , in praise of conjugal love aod fidelity . "The husband , " said Sterne , "whobehaves unkindly to his wife , deserves to have his house burnt over his head . " " If you think so , " said Garrick , "I hope your house is insured . "
Onb . good turn deserves another . —When Frederick Reynolds , the dramatist , mentioned to a friend that he was about to appear in the character of a novelist , he complained to him of the many difficulties he should have to encounter in his new undertaking ; the latter replied , " Think , when the work is over , of the pleasure of correcting the press . " " Aye I " rejoined Fred , " and when that work is over , think of the press having the pleasure of correcting me !" ¦ , Cost of a Watch . —Daring the war of 1796 , a sailor went into a watchmaker ' s shoo in the city , and
handing out a small French watch to the ingenious artist , demanded how much the repairs ¦ would com * to . The watchmaker looking at it , said it would cost him more in repairs than the original purchase . " Oh ! if that is all , I don't mind that , " replied the sailor ; " I will even give double the original cost , for I have a veneration for the watch . " " What might you have given for it ? " inquired the watchmaker . " Why , " said Jack , twitching his trousers , " I gave a French fellow a knock on the head for it ; and if you'll repair it I'll give you two . "
A Difficulty . — " Dick , " said a master-to his servant , " have you fed the pigs ? " " Yes , massa , me fed ' em . " " Did you count them , Dick * " " Yes , massa , me count 'em , all but one . " " All but one ?" " Yes , massa , all but one—dare be one little speckled pig , he frisks about so much me couldn't count him . " An Iotebence . —A servant had lived many years with a clergyman , and his master took occasion to say , " John , you have been a long time in my service : I dare say you will be able to preach a sermon as well as I ? " " 0 no , sir , " said John , " but many an inference I have drawn from yours . " "' Well , " said the clergyman , " I will give you a text out of Job ; let me hear what you infer from it : — ' And the asses snuffed up the east wind . '" " Well , " replied John , " the only inferenoe I can draw from that is , they would be a long time before they would grow fat upon it . " __
... An Orange Venture . —Leigh Hunt was asked by a lady at dessert , if he would not venture on an orange . " Madam , I should be happy to do so , but I am afraid I should tumble off . " Sharp Retort . — Sir William C being ata parish meeting , m ade certain proposals , which an influential farmer objected to , and so effectually that they were not carried . Highly enraged , " Sir , " says he to the farmer , " you may be a judge of a plough , but you know nothing of the subjects in which you interfered . I think I ought to be well informed upon them ; I have been at both the universities , and at two colleges in each . " "Well , sir , " replied the farmer " and what of that ? I had a calf tliat sucked two cows , and the observation I made , was , that the more he sucked , the greater calf he grew .
The Coujjtry Fiddler . —A rustic Paganim was so fond of accompanying his performance on the violin con spirito , that it frequently brought him into many scrapes , as well as distress . A gentleman meeting him one day looking very doloroso , said , " Why , Jack , what ails you , isn't your fiddle in tune V " No , zur , " replied Jack , " it be in pawn . " DiSNER-ncNTiKG . — " Do you hunt ? " inquired x " countryman" of D . " Hunt , did you say , my darlint , " replied he : "to be sure I do , everv born day of my life . " And pray ; " continued his inend , 1 what description of game do you pursue ? " " What came ' . " thundered Dan , " why , the best of all game ; that that comes to the table—a dinner , to be sure <" The " oder Pat" was satisfied .
A Wonder in Heaves . — In the neighbourhood of Kilbarclian , there lived two men , father and son , vre » vprs by trade -, and sole inhabitants of the tenement . For years they had made family worship arule before going * to bed , the old man praying , and the son reading the chapter . One night the son was reading from the 12 th chapter of Revelations—" Another womler in heaven , a great dragoon . " " Stop , Hughjc , " . says the father , "thou'rt wrong ; it's no dragoon , it ' s a dragon . " " Wha should ken best ?" quoth Hughie , " whenlhae the beuk afore me . ?" " I ' m nae heeding aboot that ; I . hae read it fifty times , and I ' m reet ; dearme , Hughie , did thou ever hear o ' a dragoon being in that gude place ? I ne ' er did" "Ay , ay , father ; but this is a wonder , though . " " Weel , weel , read awa ' , Hughie ; it could na be ony 0 ' Claver ' s bloody troopers at ony
rate . " A riMELT Repartee . — A soldier of Marshal Saxe ' s army being discovered in a theft , was condemned to be hanged . What he had stolen might be worth five shillings . The Marshal meeting him as he was being led to execution , said to him : " What a ' miserable fool you were , to risk your life for five shillings ! " " General , " replied the soldier , " J have risked it every day for five-pence . " This repartee saved his life . Modestt . — An Irishwoman once called upon an apothecary with a sick infant , when he gave her a powder , of which he ordered as much as would lie on a sixpence to be given every morning . The woman
replied , " Perhaps your honour would lend me the sixpence the while , as I have not got one by me at « dl . " Unanimity . — A Scotch parson in his 1 prayer said " Laird , bless the grand council ( the Parliament } , and grant they may hang together . " A country fellow standing by replied , " Yes , sir , with all my heart , and the sooner the better ; and I am sure it is the prayer of all good people . " " But , friends , " said the parson , " I don't mean as that fellow does , but pray they may all hang together in accord and concord . " No matter whatjjord , '' replied the other , " so 'tis a strong one . "
The Irishman and we Humbug . — A poor Irishman was travelling on the outside of a coach from Bristol to London , and was observed to be very uneasy , and to seek every opportunity for indulging in a comfortable scratch , " What , Pat , " said some of his companions , '' have you got the itch ?** ¦ " Nb , replied Pat , " but I ' m ate alive with bugs . " "O , never mind , " said some of his companions , " you re used . to it . " "No , " said Pat , " we nave . no such thing in our country . " 'Nosuch thing ! Welldone , Pat . I slept about a week ago at Cashel , and they took the clothes off the bed , and would have puHed me after them if it had riot been for my *> & *! * slept in th . e room ; why , they ' re as large as rabbrte . I forget what they call them . " " Och , I ^ sespirdon , " said Pat , " I knows them sure enough ; them is what we calls humbugs " mif
Eussia Binding . — An Irish getttlemantook a book to his binder , who a ^^ hi te-would . liave _ it bound in Russia . " 0 > Jas ^ no £ . «?! . £ ** , J Nto you think I can wait for tke book whde it wimalang a Bea voyage ? You snot get it ifiM m PnW ^ " Forbidding TnxBANns . —< A scholar ^ Dr | $ nsbyf coming into a pariour where the Doctor fca £ Mda fine bunch of grapes for ; his oym ^ Ungt J oo ^ j i , vp , and said , " I ^ ubTisb the banns jtetweeflth ^ egfr ^ pes and ay mouth : if any one topwa . aavjnsteattae or impediment wby these two jahopWaotrte joined . together , let them declare it . " The Debtor being ini | he next roMny overheard all that was w 4 t and coming into the room , ordered the . bojf who had eaten the ^ Hinisn tn be ta ken tro . or . as they Callect it * horBed on
another boy ' s back ; but . - ' Before he ^«^ ded'io > the ostjal ^ diBcipline ne cirifedbut alwidvtusthedaindjient had iimej " I jrabtiifr ihei ¦ b&qins between , nay ^ roa j ^ nd this hoy ' sbreech : ^ aijr ; cjne knows iinjjust'c ^ P or impediment why thesfe t ^^ b ^ T » tl ) ejoine ^ toge ibjr Jet ftem declare & ? '' /^ I ^ ftrbld tue ' banl 8 , crie < lth > % . ^ W ^ sar * sa ) d * h ^ l ) ocfei ) iv ^ eeause-ffleijjartieg are not a ! gKed , revh&AiwejWj whic ^ answet ^ so ^ l < iaiea the Doctor , ^ nolovedjofind any readme ^ M wit in Ms scnOtos , that he ordered theTjoy ^ te ^ owhV . ' . . ; y \ ; " , ,. ^ ' £ \ ' An AwkwardTHBEAT—Ghailes ^ oxjM ** ^ lent fellow he would kick him to helL W If yw . 4 o , said the other , " I will tell your father how you are squandering bis money . "
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1 A BOWL OF "PUNCH , " FRESH BREWED . ' i i Punch's Almanack for 1845 . —We advise all our readers to immediately become purchasers of Punch ' s Almanack . The illustrations ^ are excellent , and will be found provocative of never-ending amusement . We subjoin a few extracts : — ! Soliloquy of a Sheriff ' s ! Officer . — " Hilary Temi ! Pshaw ! There ' s nothing hilarious about our terms aow . This is a precious land of liberty , this is ! ven a sheriff's officer can'tifind a shoulder to turn his hand to . Time vas , ven I took my two . bottles
and my six bodies a-day . But now I thinks brandyand-vater a luxury , and hasn't ^ as much as a diaman ' ring to my finger ; I vender ven they'll gladden my heart with a " execution ? " for the sheriff ' s officer who weuldn ' t serve a fellow-cr ^ etur in o distress isn't vorthy of the name of Levy 1 i So I may as veil sell Madame Tussaud my top-boots to stand by them figures of Vellington ' s and Blufeher ' s . Worthy of Attention . —Advice to persons about to marry . —Don't . !
A Voice from the Bakbhouse . —A good baker should grow his own mutton , j This is easily done by placing your customer ' legs in a row , according to sizes . Having purchased the smallest leg you can find , change it for one of the bakings which is a little larger ; that again should take : the place of the next bulkier joint , and so on until you arrive at the largest . You can then walk off with your leg . A good crop of bak'd taters may be got by digging one out of each customer ^ dish . \ Ornithological debut . — The cuckoo makes its first appearance before a Britisli public early in spring , and trusts to that indulgence which an English audience is never known to withhold from strange birds who come in the character of foreign vocalists .
Directions for finding a Policeman . —Look down every area in the street ; if jyou do not by accident Bee one , ring the bell and inquire if the policeman is inthekitehen . Repeat this at every door , and you cannot fail eventually to find one . Meoical . —Certain cureofalcold in uprimadonna . Stop her salary , or put a rising ; vocalist in her part . Boiling . — The boiling point varies in difierent localities . In Belgrave and Grosvenor-squares , Mayfair , and Spring-gardens , the piot can hardly be boiled under £ 3 , 000 a-year . Whereas up at Cataclen Town the pot will boil at £ 160 or j £ 200 : and about St . Giles ' s or Spitalfields , at ts . orj 8 s . per week .
Literary . —June is Nature ' s publishing season , when Bhe sends forth several of her periodicals . That splendid annual the strawberry begins to appear in parts , and the gooseberry comes forth in numbers . Some apples ana pears may also be expected , as specimens of some early editions of those beautiful standard works in iSattire ' s library . j The ARr of Packing . —A { carpet bag should be packed bv placing the clean linen in first , including the frilled" shirts . After which stuff in the coata and boots , garnish with shaving tackle , and ram down with hair brush . 1 f the Dackine is not then success
ful , insert your foot into the bag , and pull fiercely at the handles . It does not matter about the carpet bag being wide open at both sides , so as it is closed with a padlock in the middle , j Hints sor Shopping . — If you want to purchase a piece of tape , go to Waterloo House , and ask to look at everything new in dresses , cardinals * cloaks , mufls , carpets , and feathers . f Having fixed upon ¦ what you T « mld purchase if you had the money , say , you see nothing to suit you , buy your tape , and ^ resolve , by future rigid , economy ui the house-keeping to Bqueeze that thick of a pollqt jacket out of the pies and puddings . j
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Untitled Article
December 28 , 1844 . THE NORTHERN STAR . ; ¦ - 3
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), Dec. 28, 1844, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/vm2-ncseproduct519/page/3/
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