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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 1st August 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 44, PAYNES AND PENALTIES /

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  • Departments (4)
    • THE WEEK.
    • FRESH FROM THE "MOLD."
    • ALLEN LORD MAYOR.
    • PAYNES AND PENALTIES /
  • Pictures (1)
  • Text (14)
  • Transcript

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      44 The Tom Ah A Wk. Laugust I, 1868.

      44 THE TOM AH A WK . lAugust i , 1868 .

      Pc00615

      ** Correspondents Are Informed That Cont...

      ** Correspondents are Informed that Contributions cannot possibly be returned by the „ Editor on any consideration whatever . Contributors should make copies of their articles If they attach any value to them . All letters on LITERARY matters should bo addressed to ( the Mr . Editor Heather . ) Letters to ensure , on attention purely HUSINbSS . Envelopes matters containing , should ; solel be y Answers addresser ! to to Puzzles the Publisher must be marked " Puzzle , "' or no notice will be taken ; . f thi-ir contents . Answers rannot be received . ifler the Thursday evening followiiv _ f the publication of the paper .

      London, August I, 1868.

      LONDON , AUGUST i , 1868 .

      The Week.

      THE WEEK .

      The Report That Mr. Gladstone Had Consen...

      The report that Mr . Gladstone had consented to receive a deputation of London thieves , in order to hear their grievances against the police , is , we arc glad to say , unfounded . The right honourable gentleman is expected shortly to entertain Mr . Broadhead at Carlton-house terrace , in order to hear that distinguished individual's sentiments on the subject of rattening .

      Mr. Andrew Halliday " Duff " (We Presume...

      Mr . Andrew Halliday " Duff " ( we presume this gentleman , in his modesty , has only revealed half of his surname , or perhaps as a determined man prefers the positive " Duff" to the word in its comparative form ) has retired from the contest for the representation in Parliament of Aberdeen University .

      This is much to be regretted ; and we sincerely trust that he will consent to stand for some other place—say , Abney Park Cemetery . It is reported that the " Honourable Member " specified ( that is to . be We ) takes are some convinced interest that in Mr the . lt livel Duff y " spot will we find have no greater admirers of his talent than the " grave and reverend " constituents to whom we now beg most respectfully to call his attention .

      It Seems Rather Hard That Though The Cou...

      It seems rather hard that though the Court has been so constant in its attendance at Mdllc . Schneider ' s receptions , she has never been received at Court or even at Marlborough J louse . However , she ought to be content with the great attention paid her by the Princes of the Blood . The Prince of

      4 ~ Wales has been to sec her three times , Prince Alfred four times , Prince Louis of I tessc three times , the Duke of Cambridge twice , and other Princes of smaller note we don ' t know how many times . Besides this , it may be noted that the Duke of Edinburgh immediately on his arrival from Australia first dined

      with his brother , then Avent down to see his mother , and came up next tlay , without losing any time , to sec the Grand Duchess of Gerolstcin . " Honour where honour is due , " seems to be the motto of our Royal Family ,

      Fresh From The "Mold."

      FRESH FROM THE "MOLD . "

      It Is Reported That A Mr. Yaughan Willia...

      It is reported that a Mr . Yaughan Williams , judge of the daring County to Court appear at before Mold , the him other , " the day one rebuked in a velveteen two solicitors coat ., and for contemporary the othci in a shooting has already jacket asked . " Noticing " what the is the circumstances professional , a costume of a solicitor' { " We have not yet seen Mr . V . fastidious Williams 1 Iowcvcr , 's lie gentleman rep has ly , all and the may it merit is not very of hay trouble possible ing raised himself that a hi that ghl to y g evidentl ive interest one y - . ing discussion . Would the Buckingham Palace standard of

      It Is Reported That A Mr. Yaughan Willia...

      " morning trousers and evening coats " hit the mark , or would effect We could even hear was this be it broadl more be looked considered y appropriate comic very nice ; and " indecorous at to if the this the Palace is proverbial the " in , case although a , court perhaps solemnity the of justice nothing general of a ? another County Court mould . where Perhap Mr s , . thoug V . Williams h , justice presides is literall and y dispensed the merry in laugh in the cavernous over innocence and earth tram y p reg led ions under suggested foot , is to the never imag heard ination matter absence by the would of any name be absolute to of throw his locale authority it open . Perhap , to to the arrive s the suggestion at wisest a solution way of , clients in of the the . white Of course robes there and wings would but be taking several the propositions sum total of for op beautiful inion in would general be , we something have no very doubt , terrible the professional and imposing dress indeed of a . solicitor

      Allen Lord Mayor.

      ALLEN LORD MAYOR .

      Mr. Alderman Allen, A Citizen Swell, Was...

      Mr . Alderman Allen , a citizen swell , Was a bookseller proud ' neath the sound of Bow Bell ; ( P'raps dined on prime joints and took muffins at tea : ) And a very respectable tradesman was he . But woe was the hour , and November accurst ,

      When his turn came to sit among magistrates First . In the House of the Mansion he took the chief chair : " Now I'll read 'em a lesson , " quoth Allen Lord Mayor . lie took his small spites and his tricks of the trade , And — - - therewith — _ .. — the _ office — — _ ridiculous _ -. -made .. _ _ ;

      . Such trumpery maxims and politics _ small ^ Were never yet heard within range of Guildhall . And he said , " If those scribblers , the newspaper men , Dare to make Me the butt of a critical pen , I'll be amp ± lj y avenged o - ; for when Nap J-ier is there

      I'll shut out their reporters , " quoth Allen Lord Mayor . But London waxed wroth such a lesson to learn , And longed for November the Ninth to return , When blustering Allen should quietly drop From the City's chief lord to the swell of his shop .

      ' ' I . ' were better if claims for the citizen throne Were settled by merit , and merit alone , For by rotary choice you may vote to the chair Such a very small party as Allen Lord Mayor .

      Paynes And Penalties /

      PAYNES AND PENALTIES /

      Reall Of He Course Must Tomahaw Call The...

      reall Of he course must Tomahaw call the attention k has no of wish his readers to be disagreeable to the following , but extract y cut from a newspaper recording a case tried at the Middlesex , Sessions : — Mr The . jury Payne acquitted : Prisoner the , prisoner the jury . have acquitted you . You are not innocentYou know very well that you took the two sovereigns . 1

      . have no moral doubt of your guilt . The Prisoner : My lord , the jury have acquitted me . Mr . Payne : Yes ; and therefore you may go . But don't get into custod The y prisoner again . was then discharged . This is justice with a vengeance ! A prisoner is found " not

      ing a guilty jury a , verdict " and ( a verdict the of judge his tantamount own cooll ! y As sets to this the a declaration finding is not the at naugh first of innocence time t by that deliver ) the by - bench " Assistant he adorns Judge" (?) has > by rendered conduct himself at once ridiculous injudicious on and the eccentricTOMAHAWK trusts that the " prisoner" so grossly mali but will gned , commence by " his Lordshi an action p" will for not libel allow . Mr the , Payne matter may to drop be a , very " mad wag , " but he is a very indifferent lawyer .

      The Linendrarers' Anthem.—" Oh, Bless Ou...

      The LiNENDRArERS' Anthem . — " Oh , bless our Sale o ' Prints !" What Railway Station would be the best for artillery ? Cannon ' s treat .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Aug. 1, 1868, page 44, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_01081868/page/6/