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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 4th January 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 6, NIGHT AND MORNING.

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  • Departments (3)
    • LONDON, JANUAR Y 4, 1868.
    • IN THE SMOKING-ROOM.
    • NIGHT AND MORNING.
  • Pictures (1)
  • Text (10)
  • Transcript

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      6 The Tomahawk. [January 4, 1868. ¦ —

      6 THE TOMAHAWK . [ January 4 , 1868 . ¦ —

      Pc00611

      * ^ * Edito Correspondents R On Any Cons...

      * ^ * Edito Correspondents r on any consideration are informed whatever that . Contributions Contributors should cannot make possibly copies be of returned their articles by the If they attach any value to them . Letters , on purely business matters , should be addressed to the Publisher to insure attention .

      London, Januar Y 4, 1868.

      LONDON , JANUAR Y 4 , 1868 .

      This Is Christmas Time, And Consequently...

      This is Christmas time , and consequently we like to look up our friends and acquaintances . Among the latter we may class Mrs . Janman , the would-be murderess , who so nearly swore away the life of poor Groves , the alleged assassin of McDonnel , the Bandsman . What has become of this amiable lady ? Surely it would be to the interest of that useful official , Mr . Calcraft , to discover her hiding-place .

      It Has Lately Become The Fashion Among F...

      It has lately become the fashion among fourth-rate literary men at this season of the year , to appeal ( like " the true and original dustman , " on Boxing-day ) , to the * charitably-disposed . Thus we have had a " Christmas Dinner , " founded by one of the fraternity , and a " fund " inaugurated by some dozen more .

      This is all very well , as among the many sins she is so frequently called upon to cover , Charity may reasonably include Vanity . However , there should be a limit to everything—even to the geniality of Grub street . It is said that some of our " brothers of the pen " intend to erect a monument to that

      kindhearted humourist , Artemus Ward . We hope not , as it is always a painful sight to find the names of Brown , Jones , and Robinson scribbled o ' er the lid of a great man ' s coffin !

      In The Smoking-Room.

      IN THE SMOKING-ROOM .

      Scene Soda . . — Eve Full 7iing Of Paper...

      Scene soda . . — Eve Full 7 iing of papers membej- just s , smoke brought , cigar in . s , coffee , brandy and Christmas Genial . Member Been to . —Well of the , after theatres all , we Penner ' ve had ? a pleasant Literary Member any ( N . B . Known to , have written one article tributed in a several Metropolitan Leaders magazine to a poptdar , and dail suspected y ) . —Ya of -as having ! You con see - ¦ went I ' m k ^ obli to ^ f r ged all v ^ v of to ' em go . to these sort of places for the " M . T . " Ya-as ,

      w ^^ ^ ^ p ^ ^^ ^ ^^^ —* ^^ ^™ ^ ^ v Genial Member . —Any of 'em worth seeing ? Covent Literary Garden Member nice , L . yceum —Some rather of 'em joll . y , Drury Holborn lane smile tol - lol at- , able . Jolly scenery at Covent Garden , awfully jolly ballet at Covent Garden . bosh P Cynica « -T » stuff r *•* l rubbish Member ! . —Well , for my part , I think Christmas ^ ^^ * , * , ^^ ^ " ^ " * * *^ * *

      Genial Member . —Why ? world Cynical , ask me Member why ? Don . —Wh 't one y ! ' s Can bills you come , a in serious at Christmas man of , and the one ' s children home from school , and one ' s —h , and one ' s —h , Why all that should kind I of hang thing up you the know holly ? and What the mistletoe ' s the good to of celebrate Christmas the ? occasion «^ - ^ 0 ^^ »^ m * v ^^ » w of ^^ v my w ¦» — w butcher m ^ w » w ^^ ^ " ^^ » p ^~ lacing ™ — — ^^ v - * ^^ h his ^ m > ™ »^ account w- » *^ ^^ ^^ wv v m v in m f ^ the w ^* ^* hands * * fc mt * * ^ r % *^ of ^^ » his «• 1 % * ^^

      with solicitor me over ? Wh my y approaching should I call bankruptcy my friends ? Wh together y should to I rejoice sit by the fireside that I may count the gaps that Death has made in really the famil wish y circle to show ? Call him Christmas in his proper jovial colours ! Humbug dress I him If in you a robe Genial of tombstones Member , and . — crown Yes , yes him , all with you a wreath say , may of writs be very ! orig Cynical ¦¦ inal and ¦ Member very brilliant . —We V V —but live how in about the nineteenth Christianity century ? !

      " - — — —r - ^ m- ~ r — — -n- - — — ~_~ ^ V ^ V - ^^ ^ ^ ^ m ^ p ^ ^ ^^ ^ ^ ^ - ^ ^ ^^^ ^^ ^^ P ^^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^^^ ^ HV * K ^ ^ P ^ ^ W 9 The world has grown too old and experienced for fables and fairyland 1 its your Gental second last remark childhood Member , I would . — ! So O imag ver old - , ri that ine pe that wisdom if I the fathom world often the has degenerat meaning reached es of into utter foolishness . But away with Christianity , we will talk of thnt—hereafter ! Any news in the evening papers ?

      Scene Soda . . — Eve Full 7iing Of Paper...

      ... ___ ... eapect Literary news at Member Christmas . —News time ! ? Of " The course Fenians not . , and Who nothing 'd ever but the Feniahs . " - ^ -Therein those words you have the " Contents Bill . " , had Genial much to Member do except . — to The guard " Specials the Post " don Office ' t . seem to have the Earl of

      Cynical Member . —Apropos , I hope Shaftesbury the and Savings Mr . Whalley Bank have Dep not artment given any of the of their delig proteges htful burea a place u you in have Genial just m Member entioned . . —Why ? be Cynical dangerous Member to their . — Protestantism Because such . ah No appointment one could work would in the out Savings iring ' Bank practical Department belief of in the the Post doctrine Office of a purgatory week with- !

      However acqu I dqn a t imagine any clerk in that branch of the Civil Service would , be guilty of self-murder . Genial Member . —Why ? vent Cynical him from Member bettering . —Because ( in any material the sin of degree suicide ) his would unhappy prethe condition " P . O ! . " His into death labours would at the onl same y convert official his desk temporary to all eternity duties at !

      Merry And Wise. Mirth Tussauds There -Se...

      MERRY AND WISE . mirth Tussauds There -seeking is for an , the merry advertisement purpose Londoners of gazing going to pay about on an a visit which effigy to of invites Madame the late all the convict young Baker , are supposed . This is be obviously especiall a y Christmas interested treat in the , and great as The Wax- idea Work , however Show near , may Portman be worth square something , comment to is enterprising superfluous . of publishers some such , and pretty next Christmas year we may books confidentl as the y following expect a : — shower

      Little Tommy Greenacre , or the Naughty Boy and his Funny How Carpet Baby B was ag . Hanged , and What Came of it . " A Sweet Please Christmas Papa story Take . "— Me - Vide to Press Newgate . , or Little Jackey's Treat . Profusely Illustrated . man The 's Guide Child . " ' s Tybur A book n that Calendar ought to , be or in the the Nursery hand of Cracks every - infant . "—Halfpenny Review .

      Night And Morning.

      NIGHT AND MORNING .

      A Christmas Carol. Whom Christmas I Coul...

      A Christmas Carol . whom CHRISTMAS I could Chap not -Day . find I . . — ! Bless On How the every deli Way bod ghtful y to . it Dinner Bless is to the walk . cabman in the picturesque mist of this great metropolis ! Crossing-sweeper ! you Bless have you not ! Here got any ' s sixpence ? Never . mind Bless , your bless wife them and , when babies you . Oh do \ have ^ t ^ ^ V ^^ any 1 ^ 4 k 4 t T 9 ! I ^* WA should * ^^ r ^^ J ± - ^ 1 ^ like ^ » * ^ ^^ to v ^^ embrace vr ^ * ¦ «• pi ^ ^ » ^ v ^ v the ^ ^— ^ v tailor — - ^ - —¦ — — — ' ^ who w v ^^ ^ v put mi ^ w * r me ^ ^ ^ ^^ 4 in A A

      meet the County the tax Court -collector , and — tell I'd him give I him forgive a Christmas him . I wish box . I could Oh ! don Bless ' t mention you—don it ' t , mention you only it took . A all merry the skin Christmas off one to of you my J toes . Chap . II . —Turing Dinner . hol I y love time the is dear whole dear world Christmas , babies . included A little more . What turkey a — happy thank , body you . Plum The - waiter pudding has «»¦ »» of upset course the I can't all refuse down . »— Bless back every . Oh

      U ^^ ^^^ 9 m . ^ " * ^^ w w »^ mf ^^ <» ^ * **» »^ ^* ^^ w » - ^ — ^— gravy Mk ¦ ™ ~ ~ J — — ^ ' ^ * — ^» my — *«^ w ^^ a ^ o ^^ ^ ^ never Christmas mind ! him Well . Bless I think the I dear must fellow have . just Here a ' little s to merry bit more old . Bless the cook who made the pudding . Oh , if I could only kiss all my creditors—perhaps they'd consider themselves paid in full . Chap ~^^ V ^ r ^ ~ - ^^ . III ^ B ^ v ^ v . W — ^ Next ^ V ^ » -V ^ ^* ^ P » Morning ^ * ^* ~ ~ ¦» ^ <^ « ^ ^ M V ^> V .

      Oh Boxing , my head . Day I — I cursed hate Christmas nuisance , — confounded nobody will humbug do an ! > thing That . beastly plum-pudding ! I wish I had never touched it . The Christmas Postman , indeed wants ! - a Christmas Oh , curse -box that . Does organ he . ? Who Tell 's him that I'll ? see him hanged ! Four more bills—I wish the Fenians would oh blow , that up confounded every tradesman brute 's of home a bab in y London . Tell , them children to and stop all that — brat Curse ' s squalling bod . ! Cursed fog J Cursed climate , this England . everyy

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Jan. 4, 1868, page 6, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_04011868/page/6/