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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 4th April 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 138, LONDON, APRIL 4, 1868.

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    • THE WEEK.
  • Pictures (1)
  • Text (17)
  • Transcript

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      138 The Tomahawk. [April 4, 1868.

      138 THE TOMAHAWK . [ April 4 , 1868 .

      Pc00617

      London, April 4, 1868.

      LONDON , APRIL 4 , 1868 .

      The Week.

      THE WEEK .

      We Presume That In Any Future Ecclesiast...

      We presume that in any future ecclesiastical squabble " altar lights , " and so forth , will no longer be designated " dark and dumb" but " dark and Dunt Dmn " ceremonies !

      Lord Chelmsford is an extraordinary difficult person to please . How can Mr . Disraeli conciliate him ? . Does his wound require a mollifying balsam of dignity , or of emolument ? If the former , would it be impossible to secure for him the post of Beadle in the Burlington Arcade ? or if the latter , could not the Dean and Chapter of "Westminster be prevailed upon to of create the Royal for his Tombs lordshi f p ' s benefit a Seventh Verger and Keeper

      Is The Irish Policy Of The Premier And O...

      Is the Irish policy of the Premier and of the leader of the Opposition so very different after all ? Well , it involves the Disestablishment of the National Church in the one case , and the Dizzy-stablishment of it in the other .

      The " Church Of Ireland " Is In A Fix. W...

      The " Church of Ireland " is in a fix . Whatever be its fate , it is in for an Epitaph . If it fall , Mr . Disraeli will doubtless see to the inscription ; if it stand , Truth will be forced to suggest the good old announcement , " Here lies . "

      Somebody In America Has Made A " Steam "...

      Somebody in America has made a " steam " man . He is described as having everything from fire lungs—down to an " iron heart . " There is not much novelty about the last-named article . Indeed , Poor-law Guardians ought to look out for an infringement of patent !

      Everything Has Its Peculiar Thorn. Disse...

      Everything has its peculiar thorn . Dissent troubles the Church of England ; its Irish sister , however , is most troubled just now wither cent . It appears that its members in county Cavan number exactly 3 in every 100 . This is , at best , a wretched investment .

      Colonel A. B. Richards, Author Of The Pr...

      Colonel A . B . Richards , author of the Prisoner of Toulon , and soi disant author of the volunteer movement , has been presented with a testimonial , consisting- of an inkstand . The suggestive compliment would have been more complete had the offering been an ink-eraser .

      A Certain Irish Rector Of The About-To-B...

      A certain Irish rector of the about-to-be dis-Established Church said that there was one point at any rate in which his congregation excelled all other congregations of Christians , and that was , in the virtue of Unity ; for it consisted of his clerk . Considering how rare the virtue is in religious bodies , it might be well to preserve this unique specimen , even at a cost of , £ 600 a year .

      A Great Whig Peer, Was Making His Will T...

      A great Whig Peer , was making his will the other day , and after he had dictated it his lawyer pointed out to him that he had made no provision for his younger sons . " Sir , " replied the hereditary law-giver , " my country has provided for the younger male scions of our family for the last three generations , and shall I begin to doubt her gratitude now ? " A touching instance of simple faith , which we hope may have its reward .

      A Distinguished Foreigner Who Accompanie...

      A distinguished foreigner who accompanied H . R . H . in his visits to different artist ' s studios last week has forwarded us an epigram , in which " Prince of Vales" and " Val Princess " combined most ingeniously . We find it , however , quite impossible to make it go properly without the illustrious noble ' s pronunciation , so must leave it to the imagination of our intelligent readers , and all—all are intelligent .

      A Ram Has Been Brought Into Court In Ire...

      A RAM has been brought into court in Ireland as a witness The animal behaved with singular decorum . Perhaps he was pondering on the number of silly sheep who had been fleeced by the amiable gentlemen in wigs that he saw around him * The introduction of a member of the brute creation into the

      witness-box is a dangerous precedent . If the testimony of sheep , horses , cows , and dogs is to be admitted in a court of justice , lawyers may well tremble , for their occupation will be gone , since we shall get at the truth too easily .

      "Brother" Stanislaus, The "Rev." Ormisto...

      " Brother" Stanislaus , the " Rev . " Ormiston of Islington , a couple of choice spirits named Nobbs and Meadows , and a few other dealers in prurient scandal , held a pidus orgiethe other night at the London Tavern , at which the sale , of Maria Monk , Sister Lucy's Disclosures , and The Confessional

      Unmasked was vigorously pushed . When will the' police deign to enforce Lord Campbell's Act against these indecent publications ? When will the vendors of The Confessional Unmasked find new food for contemplation in The Treadmill Experienced .

      A Young Lady, Accustomed To Be Worshippe...

      A young lady , accustomed to be worshipped by every man whom she met , found herself compelled to receive one morning a noted wit and misogynist . She played off the whole repertoire of her charms on the insensate wretch in vain . At last , disgusted with her want of success , ( she happened to be dressed

      for riding ) she rose abruptly , when her habit besoming entangled in the gentleman ' s feet , she brought him accidentally on his knees . He rescued himself from his awkward position with the not inapt quotation—¦ " The force of habit could no further go . "

      Is It Not Delicious To Read The Leader I...

      Is it not delicious to read the leader in the Daily Detonator when the writer lashes his reproachless tail over such a subject , as the misogynism of the Saturday Review . A whole mouthful of indignation , crammed with the familiar squibs and crackers of flowery rhetoric , splutters out its insulted grandiloquence .

      " It dew make one larf , it dew . " Not that we offer a knee or give a hand to the graceful authoress of The Girl of the Period . But we daily see advertisements of by no means doubtful assignations and allusions to the society of charming creatures whose characters are gone , and " we dew larf . There , we dew . "

      A Sheriff Of The County Had To Meet The ...

      A sheriff of the County had to meet the Judges of Assize in a county town . He conceived the practical joke of withdrawing himself and the carriages , and leaving their lordships to walk to their lodgings . Having subsequently to accompany them to church , he humourously jumped into the carriage first ,

      and made the Lord Chief Justice sit with his back to the horses . Whereupon the learned judge threatened to fine the sheriff for disrespect , and made him sit still on the bench like a naughty boy ; and when the sheriff was about to touch a bit of paper , the Lord Chief Justice said sharply , " Let that alone , Sir ! " so

      that the whole Court might hear . All this happened not during the harlequinade of a pantomime , as might be expected , but during- the Sussex Assizes , at Lewes !

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), April 4, 1868, page 138, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_04041868/page/6/