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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 5th March 1870, Edition 1 of 1, Page unpag, We have really the best reasons for bein...

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    • TUB SCANDAL Of THE DAY.
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      The Tomahawk. A Saturday Journal Of Sati...

      THE TOMAHAWK . A SATURDAY JOURNAL OF SATIRE . . 0 < £ fcttei > tip & ttt ) UT VBeckett . 0 "INVITAT CULPAM QUI PECCATUM PRjETERIT . "

      No. 148.] London, March 5, 1870. [Price ...

      No . 148 . ] LONDON , MARCH 5 , 1870 . [ Price Twopence .

      Tub Scandal Of The Day.

      TUB SCANDAL Of THE DAY .

      We Have Really The Best Reasons For Bein...

      We have really the best reasons for being proud of our country . We are so charmingly ingenuous , so delightfully naive . When we have to wash our dirty linen , we call in our friends , and enemies , and neighbours , and the ceremony commences . There is no deception , no disguise—all is open , and straight-forward , and decent—particularly decent ! Perhaps never was there a case which so fully and so delightfully brought out our national characteristics than the Mordaunt trial . Proud may we be of the actors in that legal drama , or rather farce , from the Judge on the bench to the fashionable young maiden of sweet sixteen in the gallery . We do trust that the report of the case will appear in the foreign papers , so that our neighbours may learn how courteous are our judges , and how curious are our dames . Without entering into the merits of the suit , we will award that meed of praise which is due to those who took part in the matter . First , then , who will not praise Judge Penzance ? A rumour having reached his Lordship that His Royal Highness the to Prince show that Wales respect had which been subpoenaed Royalty demands as a witness . He , was he hurried willing , nay , frantically anxious to place his private room at the command of His Royal Highness ; he was desirous , nay fearfully eager to open the Court at a time calculated to suit His Royal Highness ' s convenience . We can picture to ourselves the worthy Judge considering the hour that would be devoted to the Royal breakfast , the Most Gracious Cigar , the Matutinal Siesta , we can imagine how the good and learned man , with smiling lips and beaming eyes , thought the matter over , and gloated the Heir , — Apparent respectfull — in the loated witness at the box notion ! For of a moment entertaining his the Lordshi Prince p ' s hopes of Wales were dashed did not to intend the ground to by the in news Court that . appear We can conjure up the vision of Lord Penzance ' s dream ' learning taxed his the brain unwelcome to please His intelli Royal gence . Highness Doubtless . Probabl , the Jud y , his ge Lordship decided upon " doing up" his room in a tasty manner in honour of his august visitor . The walls were barethey must be covered with white muslindecked at intervals with artificial flowers ; the place was plainl , y furnished—it must be Possibl fitt ed y , th w e good a go Judge rgeous arranged cabinet , a a little a " true speech " billiard of welcom table e , ! so mething to this effect— " May it please your Royal Highness , m will y find * little that all p ' iano is heartily ( constructed at your of service ivory . Your and sandal Royal wood High ) ness in

      good corner tune . You , there will ar find e a number ' All among of songs the H printed ay , boys on ' satin particularl in the y effective . If your Royal Highness will condescend to hum it over I will join in the chorus . Then to the right there , is on fond a golden of painting easel , is you a canvass will find . If brushes your Royal and p Hi igments ghness . yonder If your , throug Royal Hi that ghness window likes , a landscap charming e sketching view of see London over fers chimney r portrait -pots al Hi painting —if hness , on , the . I Those other am sure hand ci I sh , s your all are be Royal of deli a ghted Hig fair hness to brand sit pre to - youRoyggarvery , and I think you will like this champagne . Pray don ' t spare the paH de foie gras . When your Royal Highness is required in the Court I will send word , and now , if your Royal Highness will permit me , I will return to my duties . Adieu , or rather , an rtvoir . " We say that the good judge possibly composed this little speech for the benefit of the august witness . When the Prince did come we are bound to say that he was treated in Court with perfect impartiality , as the Daily Telegraph has with delight , not unmingled with awe , most wonderfully discovered . And here we may say H . R . H . gave his evidence with perfect ingenuousness , and cleared himself ( on oath ) from every imputation cast upon him . We trust that Lord Penzance treated H . R . H . with that profound , that excited , that enthusiastic respect that seemed to be shadowed forth by his Lordship ' s offer of his private room . Years ago we had an uncouth fellow on the bench who knew no difference between rich and poor , prince and peasant , his name was Gascoyne , and . he lived in the reign of Henry IV . This silly uncourteous man had once to do with the Prince of Wales of his period , and instead of making pretty little speeches about H . R . H ., and perhaps even letting , or getting the Usher to let off , a few squibs in H . R . H . ' s honour , treated the Heir Apparent as our Lord Penzance would have treated John Smith , or Henry Brown I This rude bore never said anything about private rooms , or arranging the time of the Court to suit H . R . H . ' s convenience . Certainly there was this ¦ difference , that the H . R . H . of his period was something of a * ' man about town , " whereas the H . R . H . of ours is noted for liis many domestic virtues , and his generous heart . We can-: not consequently take adieu of the Mordaunt case without awa -who rding has taugh our warmest t us how praise enthusiastic to Lord respect Penzance can be . blended That judge with justice the convenience , how a great of and a Prince important ' s break J ^ rial fast , may an Heir be m Apparent ade to suit ' s cigar And now we come to a subject even more charming than our

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 5, 1870, page unpag, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_05031870/page/3/