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loo THE TOMAHA WK. [March 6,1869.
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STRANGER THAN FICTION.
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peop horses Metropolit Now le be and tha...
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TO THE TUNE OF A TENOR.
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The fine of Ten Pounds inflicted on Mr. ...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
Loo The Tomaha Wk. [March 6,1869.
loo THE TOMAHA WK . [ March 6 , 1869 .
Stranger Than Fiction.
STRANGER THAN FICTION .
Peop Horses Metropolit Now Le Be And Tha...
peop horses Metropolit Now le be and that repro an pigs T real duced heatres hav cabs e upon , wh , real y the s houl Stage water ir d turn n ? , real on Good rea l fire eve plots b - eng nts ds would ines with p , f r real our not eal which be scarce with , for a here real is staircase a drama and of real real life accessories —official life would too be — certain , to run a hundred nights at any west-end house , . If the m p that lay ust it is not is a little but be c a onde bald record mn in e of d construction as the m simp probable le and and , for unadorned hurried we pledge in truth action our . word , it
RETRENCHMENT ; OR , THE FATAL CHEER . A Comedy in Three Acts , by the Staff of the War Office . DRAMATIS PERSONS . The Secretary and quietness of ) . State ( an overwor / ced official , fond of peace First Estimates Under Sec ) . retary ( charged zvith the preparatiojz ofthe Army Second pline Under in the Secret War Office ary ) . ( charged with the maintenance of disci-The Assistant Controller ( a Retrencher ) . Clerks , Applicants , Messengers , etc . Period —February , 1869 . Scene—Pall Mall . - Act I . Scene i . —A Room at the War Office . First Under Secretary of State discovered deep in papers . First U . S . —Well , a saving of a million on last year ' s estimates though that is the something Cabinet have worth insisted talking on about add . in It ' . s £ 65 a p ity g , large for the item removal for a small of the big guns . I wonder from Woolwich what the . General It ' s a purpose heard will say . ] to Come it . in He . won ' t like it , I'll be bound . [ A knock
Enter the Assistant Controller . A . C found . —I just that looked we can "in save , my another lord , ^ to 600 let on you the know widows that ' allow I ' ve - odd ances hundreds , and I think out perhap of the s we medical shall be comfort able s to for get men a few in hospital . First brought am U sorry . S . before — to Well tell the , you that Cabinet , ' s General something yesterday , that on the , the and gun right they question side insist , for was on I the ^ 65 000 being asked for . A . C trouble . —What , I have ! . £ 65 -taken , 000 added to cut them to the down estimates ?—( getting after angry all the )—pray done , by my those lordy * who what know am I nothing here for about if my the work business is to be 1 un-First to superior U . S . —Very authority sorry . , General , but we must bow , you know , A . C I . do ( violently . I'll resi )— . gn You this may very if hour you , and like , never but I enter will be this dashe blessed d if building again . [ Exit in a rage . ] Scene 2 . —The Staircase and . " fro Clerks . are seen passing ) to First General Clerk ' s resigned ( meeting . Second Clerk )— , Heard the news ? gThe « MR Second good Clerk riddance ( cheerfull , to be sure y ) . — ! "No I you don't say so ! " JWhat „_ > Enter Third and Fourth Clerks . Third to rejoice Clerk at . — . The His General cheeseparing gone ? was Wh getting y this past is something a joke . Fourt to h ive Clerk three . — cheers Rejoice . at ? I should think so . We ought g First Clerk . —Let ' s do it . [ They do it . ] The staircase echoes with hoorays as the curtain descends . END OF ACT I .
Act II . The Nert Day . — Another Room at the War Office . — The are Secretary discovered of . State and his Second Under Secretary S . OF business S . —Dear . So me when ! this he promises heard of to the be increase a very tro he ublesom went off e there and then and sent in his resignation ? Second back . U . Perhaps S . —Yes , the Sir . General He sent will it think in , but it over I have and change held it his mind . S . OF with S . — a Let grievance ' s hope . he Just will at .. the It will beginning never do of to the let Session him leave too . it Get . him back by all means . Mind , I know nothing about Second cheering U . , S Sir . —I ? quite Some understand notice must . be And taken how of it about . the S . Of what S . — you And like I know . I can nothing ' t be worried about that about either mutinous . You can clerks do . I have something else to think of . [ Scene closes in , ]" Scene Time 2 . — After The Dinner Assistant —The Con Assistant troller ' Controller s Dining Room dis- . covered sipping a glass of port , A . C ^ . 1 ( g , 000 loomily a year ) . — j Yes and , what I was do too I care hasty for . the j £ big i , ooo guns a year ? I ' m is sure IVe done all that is possible to cut down ^ the estihow mates Sir , and Edward if I am took over my -ruled resignation it ' s not . my fault . I wonder A postman ' s knock heard . —Enter Servant with a letter . — A . C . —All , from the very man . Marked privatetoo . ( Reads . ) it " . Resi " Advises gnation me hel to d over come . back The . Chief Well knows , 111 think ^ nothing it over about . complacentl The Assistan y . t Controller lights a cigar and smokes END OF ACT II . - *
Act III . Scene . —A Room in Pall Mall . —Second Under Secretary discovered seatedand four Clerks standing before him . , Second regarding U . S . — the Ye gross s , gentlemen outrage , I of have which nothing you , on more your to own say to confessions inform you , stand that convictedi you are suspended It is now , pending my painful the Secre duty - prepared tary of State for ' the s decision severest in punishment your case , but . Regard I warn yourselves you to be as ruined men . ( Awful consternation Controller of Clerks entersy , waving during a which paper the . ) Assistant A . C . —Hold ! not so ! I have withdrawn my resignation , and I bring with me the Secretary of State ' s pardon for these Second gentlemen U . S . . —Then all ends happily . A . C comings . —Yes ; on and this if the occasion public , we outside will promise will overlook never our ' to repeat shortour little comedy again . Curtain .
To The Tune Of A Tenor.
TO THE TUNE OF A TENOR .
The Fine Of Ten Pounds Inflicted On Mr. ...
The fine of Ten Pounds inflicted on Mr . Sims Reeves at Cheltenham for not appearing as a witness in an action brought lesson the against convenience to his our agent spoilt of for singers the breach public . of Apart , tenors contract from have * , an should come utter be to disregard look a salutary upon of maj themselves esty of the as law sacred , and persons peculiarly , owing exempted no allegi from ance its to provi the - ever sions . set The them judge right of on the this Cheltenham latter point , County and it Court is to be has hoped , howhis decision , will have its effect . Certainly the popular verdict have with as in the a a appeared case little of just Mr to is . indignation such at Sinis a bad discount Reeve advantage that s is when " a s 6 popular . rve its No him brig wonder right favourite htest , " the particular tempered should stage , stars profession show themselves , to be such , ill-conditioned members of the community .
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 6, 1869, page 100, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_06031869/page/2/
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