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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 7th March 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 101

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    • A NTHR OPOPHA G Y.—IMPOR TA NT MEE TING.
    • A CLERICAL ERROR.
    • SEPTUA: SEX A : QUINQUA: GESLMA.
    • t SOL VED JlF r LAST.
  • Text (9)
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      March 7, 1868.] The Tomahawk. 101

      March 7 , 1868 . ] THE TOMAHAWK . 101

      A Nthr Opopha G Y.—Impor Ta Nt Mee Ting.

      A NTHR OPOPHA G Y . —IMPOR TA NT MEE TING .

      The Neighbourhood Of Tattersalls Was Cro...

      The neighbourhood of Tattersalls was crowded on Thursday evening last by distinguished -members of the equine race , who had come to attend a meeting convened by the committee of the Anthropophagistic Society , for the purpose of discussing the great advantages of introducing Man into the Manger as

      an article of diet . The Right Hon . Bucephalus Charger having taken the chair , the proceedings opened with a lecture by Solon Hack , Esq ., and F . R . often A . S ., interrupted which was listened by neighs to throug of admiration hout with . great After attention having , expressed mj rib his b gratification ^^^ h -w mh h — - ^ at seeing —¦ ¦ before him such a

      distin-£ ^^ ^^ - ~^^^ j ^ _ ^ - ^ - ^ — ^ . ^ - ^» ^* " - ~— — —m —w ~ —m —» —^ v - ^ r — - - ~— ^—^^ — — — — — — — — — — — — — — - guished ^^^ ^ ^^^^ ^^^ ^^^ ^^ p company ^^ ^^* , which represented every rank of society , and every phase of feeling in the equine world , he proceeded as follows : — " We are assembled here this evening from no hostile or vindictive ^ ^ ^ j ^ ^^^^ t & ^^^ ^» ^~ ^ ^^^ feeling ^~ ^^^ ™ " ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^^^ to ^^ ^^^ the ^^ ^^ ^^^ human ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ race ^^ ^^ , T thoug — — — — ^ l ^ J h — were ^^ ^^ we ^^ as prone . & — — ^^

      as they are to the vices of cruelty and revenge we might find ample excuse , if not justification , in the many wrongs which we have received at the hands of Man . The relations which exist between us date from the earliest ages of the world , when our noble cunning race builders , taking , consented pity on the to p wretched lace our streng two-legged h and swiftness family of at the ¦ disposal rf of their weaknessin return ~~ „__ for their providing __ - -

      ¦ us t ^ ^ W with * * ^^ ^* * the m "|*^ ^^ simp »^ » - * - * " le — ~ — necessaries — ^ — — " ' " — ' of — , our existence — ~ and _ — constructing — — ^_ for us suitable nouses . We made this offer knowing that though we could not rely on their honour and generosity , we could on their cowardice and selfishness ; and our services were too valuable v ^ r ^ - fc ^ ^ ^ f r t ^ ^ " ^ for ^ ^^ ^ m them ™^ — ¦— — — — to venture — — ___ . — on ill- _ treating ^ _ ^ ^ us - " - — — to — - »* - any j great tj — —

      extent . That they would extract from us the utmost labour of which our strength is capable we expected , and I think our calculations have been justified by events . It is hopeless to make these wretched creatures understand the pleasure that a horse takes in labourthe horror that he has of laziness . At

      the same time we hav , e experienced that base ingratitude , which is inherent in animals who occupy so low a place in creation as Man . When disease or old age has weakened our frames , and only the will and not the power to work remains , they , except aF in rare caseskill us in order .. _ to be .. rid of the T _ , expense _ of

      our ^^ ^ ^ ^^^^ ^ support ^ r v * ^ m » ^» ^ ^^ ^ . ^^ F- ~™ Still r ' — — we , j "— — — may _ . _ . point . ^ with melanchol — _ y pride ^ — m to ^^ the — . ^ comfort and luxury which distinguish our stables from the dwelling places of those of Man's own species whose poverty makes them helpless . I may challenge the oldest horse present to state a single instance in which scores of our lives have

      been sacrificed through wanton neglect of the simple laws of health on the part of our human owners . No , they know our value too well not to take care of us . We are necessary to their pleasure ; as long as we can minister to that we are safe .

      ¦» ¦ 1 = * * * * * I need scarcely allude at any length to the constant efforts which we have made to elevate the nature of those men with w * - ho ^ ^ H ^^^ ^ m p ^^ ^^ we V — ^^^ a " " re ^^ - ^^ broug 1 — ^— — — J ^ J ht in contact . Patience and ^ ^ - perseverance ^ ^ ^

      are as natural to us as impatience and sloth are to themtherefore we have not despaired in spite of our ill success . Often and often has a horse refused to win a race , and been s content coundrels to who forego had bac deli ked ghts him mig victory ht suffe , r in in order the onl that y feeling the ¦ part ™ " ^ » ^ r of ^^ ^ them ^ ^ ^ ^^ ™ " ™^ — , j their " ^ — — pockets ¦— . But things ^^^ have ^ " ^ come —^ — ^^ to —such a

      pass now on the Turf that I need scarcely tell you our noble Racers have resolved to defeat , by every way that lies in their on power their , the lendid calculations exertions of . the I mention cheats and this merel robbers to who show fatten that we are not sp so unmindful of the well-being of the human y race as to minister knowingly to their vices . The uniform fidelity with which which we we have have adh adhere ered d to to our our part part of of the the contract contract between between us us

      only renders more detestable the insult that they now seek to put upon us . They would outrage us dead who dare not illtreat us when alive . They would convert our bodies to the who purposes place lead us on lives a food level of wi for th slo themselves t t he h b and ullock . sensuali , { Sensa the t sheep tion y t . ha ) ' , t and They they the would m pi ay g , the beastltite of mankind ( Simsation )

      pamper y appe . . to Som cl e ma to y e s ay of t ha en and our of dead tenand bodie we s ha ha v ve e n been ever g com iven - plaine ogs d . But will any horse tell , me that there , can be any of do comparison g applause and the be indi tw If gni een i t y were of e bein noble on ly devoured ri v o ilege f eed of b paupers y hel a man ping the ? to Afurmit nourish disgrace rs a

      would be wiped away by the sense of the benefit conferred ; but to think that our bodies should after death be concocted into savoury dishes to tickle the palates of bookmakers and noblemen on the turf ! No , my noble fellow-horses , I cannot any more than you contemplate such an abyss of degradation . If

      this unseemly attempt to put our flesh to shameful uses be not abandoned , we shall retaliate in a much more serious manner than by such jocular experiments as that , to assist at which you have assembled here to-day . If we are to be placed on the level of sheep j _ and p JTigs C 3 , we will live _ - _ , as sheep - -I- and p AT igs O , idle use-.

      less lives . Let men draw their own carriages and carry one another . We will do nothing but eat and grow fat . And yet I know well that to our noble natures such a life would be misery . The Anthropophagistic Society has been established , as you all knowfor the purpose of introducing human flesh as an article

      of consumption , among horses . The high price of corn , and the reflection that we are robbing the poor and the wretched amongst mankind , for whom their own species show but little consideration , have induced us to try and see whether those who are utterly useless in their lifetime cannot be made to serve

      some good purpose when dead . I know it is difficult to overcome the prejudice , which is only natural , against eating the flesh of a creature with whom , however despicable he be , we yet are compelled to live in a state of companionship . But prejudices are the rocks which bar the road of progress ,

      and must be removed if we ever intend to advance . Besides , you may console yourself that you are conferring an honour on mankind , if not on yourself ; and an act of generosity is always pleasant , however difficult . I shall therefore conclude by simply asking ^_ j you ^ to __ adjourn — ( — — to __ the ^ _ banquet — - ^ — __ . which - is prepared a . x . in the — j ]

      adjoining stables . " The company adjourned then to the stables , where , with much animated discussion and humorous badinage , they partook of the following carte : — Bran Mash a la Tete de Demoiselle .

      Oatmeal Gruel a l'huile Aldermanique . Cotelettes de "Jockey . " Filet de Marchand-de-Vin aux Financiers . Croquettes de Bebc . Jambon de Bookmakerro // .

      * f Barons of the Exchequer , . Longe de Due farcie aux I . O . U . ' s . La Jolie Horsebreaker piquce : i la Venus . Les Cochers aux perruques poudrees . L'Eau froid . L'Eau chaud .

      We have not yet received the report of the committee , but we learn from private sources that the Banquet excited more curiosity than pleasure . All the horses who partook of it are still alive .

      A Clerical Error.

      A CLERICAL ERROR .

      Df.Tected Now, The Humbug Lies, The Myst...

      Df . tected now , the humbug lies , The mystery solved , the wondering over : Thief And -takers make h ierce im Speak his mute the wandering disguise , rover ! ,

      Septua: Sex A : Quinqua: Geslma.

      SEPTUA : SEX A : QUINQUA : GESLMA .

      Gushing Caroline : Dear Charles. Why Do ...

      Gushing Caroline : Dear Charles . Why do such numbers marry In the three weeks preceding Lent \ Grumpy Cousin : Because they know they'll soon want Carry A fitting season to repent .

      T Sol Ved Jlf R Last.

      t SOL VED JlF r LAST .

      If The Two Houses Of Convocation Have Do...

      If the two Houses of Convocation have done nothing else they have , at all events , made one of the greatest discoveries , surel of the y m age ay . be Carry said to have nothing hit , o but n the moving real secre everything t of perpetual , they " motion /"

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 7, 1868, page 101, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_07031868/page/9/