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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 9th May 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 184, THE GOLDEN PIPPINS.

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    • VI- TUP PER-A TIOJST.
    • THE GOLDEN PIPPINS.
    • A PREE PRESS.
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      184 The Tomahawk. [May 9, 1868 ; ^

      184 THE TOMAHAWK . [ May 9 , 1868 ; ^

      Vi- Tup Per-A Tiojst.

      VI- TUP PER-A TIOJST .

      It Is Certainly Surprising That, In Spit...

      It is certainly surprising that , in spite of a " Third Series of tiave Proverbial so thoroug Philosop hly hy ignored , " lately the published common , Mr proverb . Tupper , Ne should sutor ultra crepidam . His " first" should have been his " last ; " and reall Lo that y would he should have attained have stuck a certain , and gone reputation no further —he . would Then have he provided the proprietors of every fourth-rate ladies' seminary in the kingdom with an inane and harmless volume , which year after year might safely have been given away as a prize ( prizes are never read ) ; and so he would have secured himself , in course of time , a nook in thousands of book-shelves , and a name made conspicuous by the brightness of the binding . But these limits for were mountain too narrow air for and the scenery lofty — aspirations he makes of his Tupper wings . out He of pants three series of " Proverbial Philosophy "—and then assays to scale and Parnassus now we . Of find course him , he strugg fares ling no in better a dense than sloug other h aeronaut into which s ; his impudence has precipitated him . Like Captain , Wragge , Tupper and with has , in turned a moral Quack sense - Doctor , an equ of Divinity ally " bilious ! Tumbling green — eye or , " , more probably , kicked—down the slopes of Parnassus , he has whence contented he himself periodically with a shoot humbler s his Lilli position putian " on arrows the Rock , dipped , " from in the irritating venom of Tupperian bigotry , against all who dare to differ from him . But this does not content him , and so we a find new that edition Messrs of the . Simp Doctor kin , ' s Marshall proposed , and course Co of . have spiritual published treatment , entitled " Tupper ' s Protestant Directorium . " With the doctrines contained in this healing publication we have nothing bo do—we express no opinion respecting them ; but as to the have mode one in which or two our words cheap to say Ouack . Of prescribes the " prescri for ptions the public " them , we - selves , we will only observe that if they are as deficient in good taste as is their author ' s method of prescribing them , they will unquestionably prove a very nauseating draught to whomsoever may venture to imbibe them . The very first word on the titlepage of the " Directorium" is evidently Tupperian— " The Anti-Ritualistic Satire "—just as though no one else ought ,

      could , should , or might dare to publish any other such satire , save the great Proverbial Philosopher . This modest spirit is throughout delightfully ; sustained the synonym —unity of of nearl aim y every and purpose line might is be evident self . In " the original Preface " ( why " original 1 "—no one else could have written it ) we are told that " honest indignation produced must these verses mean , " that and Tupper that they , the were New " Li written ght , the off Refresher at a heat" of —( Na this - tions , the Latter-day Apostle , so far forgot himself as to fly into a passion : for surely he does not mean to accuse himself of the sin of ever having been on a race-course . ' )—and he has " purposely not been at the trouble to recast them "—( why " trouble " murmur to tell us at this the ? cup Could in which a public it mi , gasp ght i be ng proffered for Tupperian 1—especiall nectar y , when we are told the reason ) - — " thinking that somewhat of original freshness would be sacrificed by so deliberate a proshould cess . " feel If these justified were in the parap words hrasin of g any them ordinary thus : — " mortal I am , tor we - mented with a vile temper ; in its worst paroxysms I have dashed off various lots of irritable balderdash , which I am heartily min ashamed ed to publish , but I what am , so I have saturated written with . I conceit won ' t attempt that I am to correct deterit , for if I did , I know I should have to tear it up . " But Tupper is extra-ordinary , and as he undertakes to teach and reform mankind he can , of course , know nothing of vanity or spleen ; and the nearest modestl approach y expressed to - — such " My human righteous failings indignation is thus humbl and its y very possibly indifferent verses . " No , Tupper ! You wrong yourself—you never wrote "possibly indifferent verses ; " they alter were a always sentence , believe of this us , great unmitigatedl author ' s y — v " ile such . But a them —sli e ghtl as y the to infinite antagonism of English" common-sense " against " : Tuppcrian ouches : "— twaddle that , however " is simp , we ly certainl inexhaustible y do n j ot I — onl we y point suggest to sp Fupper ndeed iteful , 's one bigotry satire has , , ^ and a su diseased ch cry as most this fancy emp pitifu for haticall l wading poetaster y noli throug tangerej offers h pages unless in his of , ' Directorium " to " England's heart and mind . " This " heart md mind " Tutmer defines as " erood touItd within . but with abitter

      per rind ? . " Imag We wonder ine the whether Proverbs we of could Solomon define , Bonn the mind ' s Lucreti of Tup us - imagine and Bacoti a peculiarl s Essays y offensive thrown toad into -stool a fungus spring -teeming ing up over swam their p ^ ; resting-place ; then imagine a gander with an enlarged liver trescent and decked growth with and peacock after ' his s feathers meal meeting , gobbling his down death from this pu the - , kick of a jackass , who had strayed from some clerical paddock . the Next " , mind believe " of for this a improbus moment in anser metemp retrograding sychosis , into and a imagine human form and very : there bitter you —very will reli have gious the , forsooth mind of , and Tupper very — vain very —enj pul oy py - we ing can so sweet only conceive an ainalgamation him on Sundays of these as latter praying properties and preach , that - ing his own compositions to himself , before a looking-glass .

      The Golden Pippins.

      THE GOLDEN PIPPINS .

      Its The Head- Jeunesse Quarters Dorde In...

      its The head- Jeunesse quarters Dorde in Pall of Mall London . This is Club getting is to up be very a Club exclusive House , and the entrance fee is to be one hundred guineas . There , must be some exhibition or entertainment in connection with the Club of an extraordinarily attractive nature to make the entrance fee acceptable to members . Perhaps there is a rare or unique library selected for their use . Perhaps they are intending to collect ori their walls gems of pictorial art , or costly objects of bric-d-brac . Perhaps they are only going to be admitted to the honour of seeing a Prince in his shirt sleeves p to lay be ing elected skittles who at soverei cannot gn satisfactoril points . Any y how answer , no the candidat following e is questions : — Matriculation Examination for such gentlemen as may be proposed for admission into the Club known as " The Golden Pippins . " 1 . —Have you been familiar at any time with any person under the rank of a Baron ? and who ? 2 . — Did you ever employ any tailor but Poole ? and why 1 3 . —Were you ever tempted to pay your tailor ' s bill ? 4 . —Have how is you it she ever is been not by introduced this time created to Mdlle a . Schneider bond fide Gr 1 and and Duchess ? 5 . —Did you ever demean yourself so far as to play pool for half-a-crown points ? What sum do you think the minimum ? 6 . —What is the best translation of Paul de Kock % 7 . —Can you imitate Elise Holt or Finette 1 8 . —To which do you prefer listening : Patti or the Great Vance ? Nilsson or Arthur Lloyd ? 9 . —Can you remember any poem superior to " the Chickaleary Cove , " unless it is " Walking in the Zoo . ?" 10 . —Which game is the most instructive : skittles or American bowls ? Walk up candidates and be in time ! be in time ! Only a hundred guineas ! not to mention the yearly subscription ! Champagne and truffles all day . Where is the Paris correspondent of the Telegraph f

      A Pree Press.

      A PREE PRESS .

      Apropos Of The Promotion Of Lieutenant-G...

      Apropos of the promotion of Lieutenant-General Sir nity Robert of Nap a Knight ier , K . C Grand . B ., commanding Cross of the in Ab Bath yssinia , the , to Morning the digt Star akes the observes first ste : " ps to odore high honours is dead , over and his Sir prostrat Robert e Nap body ier . " and What impri is to sonment be said , ? or Wh even y are horsewhi there ps no , to press meet laws such , with cases fines as these ? They manage such things better in France .

      Nation H Ome A Home . ? By - The Thrust ...

      nation H ome A Home . ? By - the thrust way . — , The could failure it be the spirits spiritualist having ' s a rap assi at

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), May 9, 1868, page 184, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_09051868/page/2/