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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 9th July 1870, Edition 1 of 1, Page unpag, No. 166.I LONDON, JULY 91870. J [Price T...

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    • " ix&ATH nsri waiting':
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      T. H E T O Ma Ha W K. A Saturday Journal...

      T . H E T O MA HA W K . A SATURDAY JOURNAL OF SATIRE . « Eiiit * fc frp ' frx £ ttux' ¦ ¦ '¦ # ¦ '»*< iteifct . ..... . - . . . ; -. - ¦ .. 1 : :- .. ' ' ; . . ' " o ' '" ' - ¦ _ . . ¦ ... " INVITAT CULPAM QUI PECCATUM PRETERIT . "

      No. 166.I London, July 91870. J [Price T...

      No . 166 . I LONDON , JULY 91870 . J [ Price Twopence . ,

      " Ix&Ath Nsri Waiting':

      " ix & ATH nsri waiting' :

      There Is A Dismal Den Somewhere East Of ...

      There is a dismal den somewhere east of Temple Bar , where the nation keeps an account of the savings of the "Working Classes . It is a particularly miserable denand is as unlike the popular notion of what should be a Government , Office as an Anglican Bishop is unlike : the late St . Peter . The rooms are

      unhealthily crowded with gasping clerks , the floor creaks under the tread of Heads ; of Departments , who work every letter of the alphabet to death , save that very awkward letter " H , " the stairs are worn lay the hurried footsteps of greasy shopmen and beery artizans . It is riot a nice place this dismal denand

      we should not have noticed it liad we not wished to allude , to a fact that can only be established by a perusal of its ledgersl The savings of the dram-drinking public ; are usually expended in the " summ outings er " they in the buy country excursion . In tickets the wint . er the poor saves , , in

      pare If d we to had gush the to pen the extent of the of Dail at y least ; Teleg twopence rap 7 i we . ; sKould . Those be of pre our - columns not devoted to the advertisements of Baby-Farmers and Quacks , we would willingly give over to yards ' of twaddle and ana miles miles of 01 trash trasn . . "Were Were we we , , we we repeat repeat the the Daily Daily Teleg Telesrra raph bh -.

      no subject under the sun wouid better please us than " Death , in thus Waiting — . " We should ' ; : ' ' divide ! . : - our . article ' . . ' into :: ¦ " " two : ' ' parts ' > , ,. ' ' > : . j " Part I . '" . " . i- - ' . ' > 5 't . i We should commence our article with a description of a Court

      though Pageant not . We least should ( for this talk is of the Nobles way we , Kni . should ghts , Ladies get to , and our . last sub-i , " ject ) Lords in Waiting . From . Lords in Waiting we should naturall draw draw a a dismal dismal y come pi pi to cture cture Death of 01 decaying decaying in Waiting - robes robes . , worm worm We should --eaten eaten velvet velvet be able , and and to

      coronets reeking with the mouldy atmosp , here of the solemn , grave . Having done ; this to the extent of half a column , we should Railway hurry Cutting Death , wh ^ away re -we . fr should om his lea lodg ve ings him in shining Fleet street griml to y in a the iriburnful moonliglit .-End of Part Qne of pur * / Leader five minutes allowed for

      refreshments . . ' " ; { Appearance of the Spirits of the Mighty Public-House . } Part II . it Having would next left be Death our comfortabl duty to provide y Ideated him in with a railway his cutting . We , prey

      of shou impossible ld sketch a morality cheerful , of En i glish mpossible home o geniality f impossible . As cleanliness a writer , of while a the Telegraph family leader were , at tea wou . We ld be shoul ou d dep duty ict the drop steam in - , 1 1 1 1 r -lin 1 1 . . hi . 1 ¦ - - ¦ ¦ . t . . . *

      ing Bohea , the luscious butter , the scarlet shrimps ( and here we should pause , inspired by the word shrimps to describe a storm at sea ) , we should gloat over the happy family , the father dren ' s ' precocious philosophical cheerfulness discussion . One , the of mother the infants ' s cap would , and the suggest

      chila trip to the country ( a word that would assist us to the composition of twenty lines of flowery rigmarole ! about trees , sky , corn , butterflies , sparrows , scarecrows , cowslips , and " anything else remotely connected with the country thajt might enter our head at the moment ) , the suggestion would be eagerly taken up ,

      and with a lively picture of the starting of an excursion train , we should cleverly contrive to cart off the happy family from London , en route for Death , in waiting in the railway cutting . Having thus " managed to mingle well the ingredients of our literary saladwe should flavour the whole with a grand

      de-, scription of what ! the Americans term " tarnal smash , " p serve ints and up a half , w of ith stick a little y sentimentality " spurious reli . gion All this , and would about we two do had we the pen of The Telegraj / 7 i , but as we do not possess that valuable instrument , we can only weep , and make up for our

      sorrow by charging twopence instead of a penny for our pages . To be serious , if there is anything serious under God ' s sun , surely it is a Railway Accident . We may comment upon the t recent disasters that have lately occurred without laying our-|< 2 lves open to a charge of Sensationalism . Granting that excursionists are not . " . . clean and moi * £ u ' as the penny press

      would declare them to be , admitting that Brown occasionally darkens the bright blue eyes of his wife , and has not a rooted objection to hammering in the head of his first-born with the gentle pressure of a pewter pot , still we have no right to allow Brown and his interesting family to be murdered with impunity .

      Secretaries of Railway Companies may call " murder " an ugly word . So it is , and yet only these two syllables will fitly describe the negligence or economy that leaves the fate of thousands to fortune—yea , even life and < death to chance . Our laws are not strict enough . After a Railway Accident the dead

      have gold poured upon their graves , the wounded receive silver that , perhaps , will be used for the purchase of their coffins . It is a mere affair of money—a question of £ . s . d , "What matters it if women are made widows , and children orphans ? Cannot they obtain five pounds in lieu of their husband ' s smiles , and

      fifty pounds in consideration of the loss of their father ' s business ? Railway Companies have become so accustomed to regard accidents from this point of view , that they merely consider their occurrence a matter of expense . Why it was only the other day that a Railway Company haggled about paying

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), July 9, 1870, page unpag, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_09071870/page/3/