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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 12th March 1870, Edition 1 of 1, Page 96

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  • Departments (3)
    • MOXE ADMIRALTY REFORM.
    • MA£>, MY POST MASTERS, MAD I
    • OXFORD INTELLIGENCE.
  • Text (7)
  • Transcript

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      No One Really Loves The Saturday Review....

      censure of the moribund Pall Mall ( circulation since the en' arg-ement guaranteed to be—ah ! but no matter !—poor paper , poor dear paper !) , we have this week presented our readers . vith an auction in high life . Our artist , in a very ecstasy of satirical piety , has depicted a girl being sold to titled fools , or

      : oarse , brutal fiarn'enus , with gold for manners , and in lieu of education—why , gold ! The fools are very foolish , and Xho . par-- > enz ( S particularly coarse . As we glance at the cartoon , we cannot but experience some pity for the unhappy maiden so cruelly held up as an article of barter . This is one side of the

      ncture . Now for the other . Our readers will notice that the auctioneer is a titled hag , who is evidently doing her very best to find a purchaser for the ilesh and blood she is offering to competition . Let us suppose the hag , instead of praising her living merchandise , is telling the

      plain unvarnished truth . Then let us report her Hagship ' s words as they fall from her painted lips . Let us listen . See , she is speaking . " The article I have to offer you , my noble numbskulls and my Hebrew millionaires , is my daughter . She has been taught

      how to dance , and how to lie . From the age of infancy to the time of girlhood she has been left to gather together as much evil as she she possibl has picked y could up . enoug I know h F nothing rench to of re her ad l e arl p y life e , sa ' ve novels that , has learnt enough Italian to flirt with her singing master . She rides well—as her first confidant , the groom , would have told

      you ; and understands the rudiments of swearing—as her lady ' smaid has long since discovered . If you purchase her I advise you strongly to lock up the spirit case , as she is fond of brandy , md has been known to drink her bottle of Eau de Cologne when denied her tumbler of Maraschino . She paints charmingly—as

      her cheeks will testify ; and knows something of sculpture—as you would find out if you could see her corsette . She has no heart , no modesty , no feelings . You will find her dog more faithful , and her cat infinitely more affectionate . Her only hope is a rich marriage , her sole faith lies in the belief she has in her

      own beauty , her one act of charity consists in her personal presented gift of self-indulgence . She will smile at you and deceive you - but there , gentlemen , marry her , and you will learn the rest I have to tell you about her in the presence of that able judge—Lord Penzance ! "

      Yes , of a verity , the " Girl of the Period" is not such an impossible character as we wished to imagine her to be . Of course there are virtuous women as there are virtuous men , but the spirit of the age is vicious . Sermons are not of much use , but a word now and then keeps up appearances , and may do a

      little , possibly a very little , good . We began by mentioning Mephistopheles . We will end by alluding to his Satanic Majesty . The aristocratic auctioneer cries , " Going , going , ¦ jonc ! " We can well believe that Mephistopheles remarks ' Coming , coming " , " until he sees a death in the first column of the 77 /// es , and then he doubtless adds , — Come !"

      9 6 The Tomaha Wk. [March 12 , 1870.

      9 6 THE TOMAHA WK . [ March 12 , 1870 .

      Moxe Admiralty Reform.

      MOXE ADMIRALTY REFORM .

      Itself Our Up Hi As Ghl A Y N Intelli Au...

      itself Our up as ghl a y n intelli authority gent on contemporary Admiralty matters the Globe , the , which other holds day made made it an , we anno should uncem hav ent e , been which inclined had it not to hav been e disb the elieved Globe . that In ness describi last ng the ek , trial the paper of the Royal stated Engineers that " the ' Shield Secretary at Shoebury of State - for We the have Navy long and since other ceased notabilities to be surprised " attended at the the experiments vagaries of . of Mr this . Ch new ilders office ; but . we But were where scarcel does y the prepared G / ol > e get for its the exclusive creation information from ?

      Ma£>, My Post Masters, Mad I

      MA £ > , MY POST MASTERS , MAD I

      The Post Office Authorities Are At Last ...

      The Post Office authorities are at last awakening to a sense thei of thei r shoulders r responsibility not o . nl They y the mere ve not post hesitat al service ed to , ta but ke u have pon added telegraphy , tax collecting , and banking to their ordinary should duties . have We cannot n sig , ns therefore of a breakdown , be surprised . It is that scarcel lat y el possible y there several that a small immense department businesses can . , The with ordinary credit to official itself , tra intellect nsact followin would certainl Circular y give which way we under believe the pressure is about to ; but be published from the

      the authorities g at , St . Martin ' s-le-Grand seem to have their wits , about them . It has been hinted that this is a preparatory measure Circular speaks to their for wits itsel altogether f . taking their departure , but the Sp ecial Instructions for the Guidance of Persons

      in the Employment of the General Post Office . exists As it in has the post been offices represented in London that , as some well confusion as in the just country now , trusted in conseque to Post nce Office of the servants multifarious , in ord duties er to which put a are stop now to any enfuture simple inconvenience instructions shall , it is be hereb from y this ordained date strictl that y adh the ered following to : —

      1 . All registered letters should be immediately forwarded to there the retained Savings pending ' Bank Department application . in Cannon street , and 2 . T until elegrap at hic least despatches one hundred should have be allowe been d received to Accumulate at the b several undles offices , to Somerset , and thes House e shou , for be fo e rwarded purpos , e in o sealed being

      3 . All noted licati in the ons Dog for Tax Post Department -office Orders . Government Annu app ities , and Assurances should irrjmediatel , y be telegrap thereo hed n . to the Head Office , and instructions awaited 4 . Postage cumsta stamps nces , be and accumulated receipt stamps on should the premises , under no of cir the - Branch Post Offices . All demands for such articleson

      , the Bank part withdrawal of the public forms , . sho Silence uld be to mad be e on taken the as Savings a re- ' 5 . Payments spectful negative on account . of Dog Licences and Post-office usual Orders manner should . be invested in the Savings' Bank in the 6 . Tenders for strait waistcoats will be received from and

      after this date , until further notice . Keepers will be su Letter pplied Carriers to Postmasters , on application , Postmasters . ' Assistants , and By order of the Secretary . General March Post Office 6 , 1870 , * London . , the We Administrative believe that it Department is in contemp of lation the to Post immediatel Office y from remove St . Martin ' s-le-Grand to suitable premises at Colney Hatch .

      Oxford Intelligence.

      OXFORD INTELLIGENCE .

      Furnished Specially For Our {Formosa Col...

      Furnished specially for our { Formosa columns ) , by Mr . Tom Burrows Oxford , March 6 , 1870 . ¦ course ^^ r v The ^ w ^^ w ^ v -m ^ yesterday w University ~¦ ^ . * ^ r ^ v ^^ r ^^ ^^ v ^^ ^~ evening ^ H v Ei ^^^ ^^ g ht ^ v " ¦ J ^^ v . turned The ^^^ ^^ ^^ ^^^ " out . . ^ stroke ^ F ^ . * ^ i ^ for ~ ^* ... ^ f oar ^ a ^^ v ^ v ^ p . " " canter ^ fell gf ^^ p 0 * w ^ into v ^^ ^* ^ " f ^ . tf' over ^ his . ^^ ^^ l ^ o work f ^ the hv v * ^^ ^^

      much more easily , showing how much good he has derived from from the Sam lessons Growler in the " the rat swing -catcher " he at has Sanford been . recentl The y old taking don by was the on darkies the bank , all with , the his gallant two dau fellows ghters ( , when and was the loudl old y don cheered was blue not looking style . ) kissing their hands to his fair charges in real true

      blue The boating crew are coat at and present white regular flannels at afford their studies a pleasing , and the relief dark to neckties the eye and as they black dot cloth here suits and ( there the dress about worn the by sombre the under white - graduates of Oxford who do not belong to the Eight ) that

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 12, 1870, page 96, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_12031870/page/2/