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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 14th November 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 217, A.B.C. FOR A.B.A.

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  • Departments (3)
    • LUCRE AND LUCREZfA.
    • A "LCTB" OF A CLUB.
    • A.B.C. FOR A.B.A.
  • Text (8)
  • Transcript

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      November 14, 1868.J The Tom Ah A Ivk. 21...

      November 14 , 1868 . J THE TOM AH A IVK . 217

      Lucre And Lucrezfa.

      LUCRE AND LUCREZfA .

      Scene.—Outside The Holborn Theatre After...

      Scene . —Outside the Holborn Theatre after the performance . author The author —in fact of the Mr play . H . J , . the Byron author is setting of the his burlesque face ho ^ ? the neivard . Tomahawk { taking his arm ) . —Don ' t be alarmed , Mr . Byron , there is no violence intended . Tom Byron 1 OM .. — . Come — ^ ame Violins , , you you ? know js . You ii . uw are me 111 c not well wcu . in enoug uiuugu the orchestra h ; , and duu 1 I , have udvc are you < a x icw few ? ^

      wo B rds yron to . say —In for that you case to sleep ( pillow on . case ) don ' t let them be hard words . TOM . —A truce to puns . I have been to see Lucresia . Tom Byron { ag . — hast Ah ) . ! — and Bor you — oh found ! ah Lucresia ! If you bored continue yer . you shall have Blow for Blow . Byron . —No , no , anything but that . What have 5 ou got to say Tom — ? . —— First _ of _ all — ^ Do _ you — — suppose — — j ^ . _ — — that . such ____ a piece as the

      burlesque of Lucresia - , can do any good to yourself ? Tom Byron . — . So —Do as long I suppose as you ? get Wh paid y , it ' you s paid don for ' t . mind what rubbish Byron , unmiti . — gated Come rubbish , don't be you abusive put your . Do name you to mean % to say you didn't laugh once ? make Tom the . —Laug weakest h ! idiot Did laug any h one 1 Is laug it funny h 1 What to keep was referring there to to the the end names of the of medicines last ? Is from it funny the to beg dress inning of a man the first with scene a bass to

      voice in woman ' s clothes ? up Byron . —Funny ? Well ! if Honey dresses same Tom young . — of Cease the ladies same , vain , wearing jester type as the ! Is usual identical it , laug sing hable dresses ing the to , or introduce same at any tedious rate the music boys sicken -hall songs us with , with from the morning same to choruses night ? which Is it witty the street to fill what your lines lay with puns rds which meant everyone ? Is it humorous has heard to since torture he sylla knew

      bles ivnttb into a a . p jjicbjr sounds on uu wo nviiuj which lubaii they k do not " ¦» - iiuuiuiuua possess , in order wviiun to ojrxic make * . them Byron resemble . —The other daily words papers with —— which they have no affinity ? what Tom they . —The think daily than papers they , with generall the best y do will . , Eve hav n e said the Popular more of Pennygaff llables . condemns you with his faintest praise and his shortest sy Byron u j . i \ v >¦ ^ . —That 4 . x & cfcb proves jjiwv ^ o that 1 . li . cxi you jruu have Jicfcvo not 11 1 / 1 . seen o wbii the m . ^ . j lilies . »»» j

      Tom . —That will do . Don't advertise I have seen the only criticism which speaks with absolute favour of the performance burlesques ; but himself we should , and probabl then what y discover would his that notice the be critic worth wrote ? the Byron finale . turn —But out isn to ' t be it . nigger a good minstrel notion s to 1 make the chorus at the Tom burlesque . —So very stage new that . Why he is , the quite nigge white r has down been all so used seams on , friends friends and his , " orig oricrinal Yah inal ! .. yah ! " can no longer be called , even by your

      Byron , . —The Christys call themselves original . lead Tom of . one —So or does the Sin other , but . Mr you . B need ron scarcely let us be desire serious to . follo Lucre w the - sia Blow Borgia is little is batter very very . Can bad you , look not y at write it , how anything you will better . Blo 1 w We for for sincere you l , y and trust there you are can so and few will dra , for matic we have writers a sneaking in England kindness that we would fain , hope that in you lie the germs of a future Shakethough speare t or his a native sucking modesty Jonson could . Hallo not ! swallo he has w all belted that . . Well , I [ Exit into Evans s .

      Alm A Anack Very Clever For 1869, Joke P...

      Alm A anack very Clever for 1869 , Joke price . — 3 d All ., which man may ax ' s for be obtained the Tomahawk shortly , with Newsvendor the two missing in Town letters and in fro Country m the . joke There , at every J respectable A still Cleverer Joke . —The Tomahawk Almanack will be published at the Tomahawk office , 1 99 Strand , W . C .

      A "Lctb" Of A Club.

      A "LCTB" OF A CLUB .

      Mr. Walter Thornbury Has Bean Lately Pub...

      Mr . Walter Thornbury has bean lately publishing some funny bers . (!) As stories this very in (! Belgravia !) amusing about litterateur " Club has s" and omitted their several memciency importan to t the establishments best of our ability from his . It list is , we not will an supp easy ly matter the de to fi- \ sink to the level of Mr . Thornbury , still we will make an attempt to copy his style . The Arm y and Navy . M Founded . KS UUUW < U . 18 JL U — . WJ Situated I . L l-LC 1 , t , \^ V ( . in 111 . Pall J . CV I . X . ^ Mall . u . (^ l . A . « It . A . U was « -l >< 7 here xa .-wi . v » that i , * . *«•*«* the i . i « . w well M VH

      good known stories General are Smith told of used this to club dine . four Thackeray days of the and week Tom . Hood Many were very once ing-room -asked . to Tom dine Hood here , left and the after door dinner open were behind cond him ucted . to the smok" Why , my dear Hood , " said Thackeray , " is that open door like a receptacle " Because for , " marmalade Hood reolied ? " , after some minutes thought , " because / V \? a far From ! " that moment Thackeray and Hood became sworn friends . { But enough ; it is scarcely fair to take the wind out of Mr , Thornbury ' s sails .

      A.B.C. For A.B.A.

      A . B . C . FOR A . B . A .

      Be We The Predicted Result Of Throwing I...

      be We the predicted result of throwing in these open columns an , Oxford some time University since , what degree would to j what is termed , by the enthusiastic champjons of the penny j press and our , " the prediction pith and has marrow been of full England y verified 's middle . We -class pointed youth out , " j j that there had been a good deal of frothy nonsense talked about j the nification blessings of that of a word university , and that " education middle-class , " in the Englishmen broadest were signot such a set of fools as to hurry their promising boys off to Oxford \ for XUi the h of wasting three precious of their

      lives \^ - \ lLfl , even thoug & W purpose * ***¦* h ¦ L / t /* that 3 * ** \ JJL privilege If CV * 7 bX 4 X & - VU were 1 WW § JX offered UV / iVll < 7 years J them WCV *» * 3 VFJ for . LUVlX the for moderate to the mig sum hty of £ call \ 6 10 of s respectable . However , and the fact exclusive is now Oxford established there , have been in all England only seventeen responses . We have not space to devote to any elaboration of the subject , but the main causes of this failure must be patent to everyone . The directly class , to appeal which , the is a supposed class which advantages can afford of to an pay Oxford for them life . The jl iiu ^ clas tao j s , j to ku which 11 uivii they \ . ii . \ sy c are *« . i « now nutv uiiui offered ^ u freel xi \ , \ , x y j for xvyj . a trifle biiuv . under uuuti

      to ^ 20 spare , is , on nor the a moment other han of d , a working class which time has to neither lose . Youths a halfpenny , who must soon grapple with bookkeeping by double entry , bricks when and mortar they arrive , and at boot the interesting making , had age better of eighteen be doing , than anything breaking , their heads over the only sort of work an Oxford don has to give them . Such is the wise view that the proprietors of " the of pith the and question marro , w and of Eng they land are 's to middle be congratulated -class youth for " have their taken com-Noif 11 Oxford reallwishes to reach the bUV heart of

      the such 111 mon ^/ 41 nation sense dVUJVl a prospectu , she ^ \ must Jy , s of become advantage / A 1 V / 1 NA . X Wt a s little y to V VV the l ^ HVO more common IV practical X \* C ** herd V * L & , , that and ** V » C ** they give X h > \ JM . with cannot the fail construction to see that of no a time couple will of be dead lost in languages an aimless . struggle We are merel not of y pointing course run out ning that down they are these really accomp accomplishments lishments , but —that are makers is , as far , are as a concerned set of ambitious . Naturally bakers , , therefor butchers e , , the and 500 candle sets stick of roams b baen een licensed licensed , prepared in in vai vain by , the and and anxious Oxfo Oxford rd lodging is is still still - quite ouite house im keepers to to th the , e have ttrue rue

      mark cratic in retreat Snobdom and no proper , doub . t It will is tak still e its an rev exclusive on and the aristo unfor - - , tunate ssvent , een scholares nou adscripti , enge by cutting them , ( and wounding high br them ed Oxfo , and rd making always them docs " . feel As " to it gen the erally little , band as thoroug of out h - { ar or sid e two er not s , we of e ca the can nn genuine o tell t hel them p stu sympathisi they ff that would can ng . go be with in far and the better m win , tho employed . a u scholarshi gh if else they p - where far better . A practise youth , whose the art ultimate of smiling destination , as he is the asks counter imaginary , had customers " what may be the next article" than split his head over its peculiar use with the participle in the fifth chorus of the

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Nov. 14, 1868, page 217, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_14111868/page/9/