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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 16th July 1870, Edition 1 of 1, Page unpag, " WIGGING THE WHIGS."

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      T The Tomahawk. A Saturday Journal Of Sa...

      t THE TOMAHAWK . A SATURDAY JOURNAL OF SATIRE . ' - . : —¦ o— : —^ - - . ... - € Mtet » tp 3 lrtt ) ut a'Beckett .

      " INVITAT CULPAM QUI PECCATUM PRETERIT . "

      No. 167.] . :.' London, July 16, 1870. [...

      No . 167 . ] . :. ' LONDON , JULY 16 , 1870 . [ Price Twopence .

      " Wigging The Whigs."

      " WIGGING THE WHIGS . "

      Statesmen Are Very Nice Persons. On Gran...

      Statesmen are very nice persons . On grand occasions they ; wear very pretty uniforms ; on small occasions they make very long speeches . A statesman must be a Member of Parliament , but few Members of Parliament happen to be statesmen . A promising young Member of 56 is often invited to join the

      Ministry ; he is then called a Minister . If he happens to be particularly successful in his new sphere of action , he is invited to join the Cabinet . A' Cabinet is generally associated with the words degraded " nasty of the mess middle ; " hence classes the , " well Cabinet -known Pudding dish of . " the In more con- : elusion , Queen Anne is dead . ;

      I Above we have made several announcements , all more or less out of date . Our only defence is the absolute necessity of extreme care in these days of ignorance and misconception . From what Ministers do the British public might remain in entire t ignorance of their existence "it may be for years , 'it . may be for

      ever , " from what they say the aforesaid British public might fondly imagine that they were the hardest-worked officials under the sun . This being the case , we may possibly be pardoned for having summed them up in the' words with which we have to opened " do save this to article make . long The speeches average in Cabinet the House Minister , and has to obey nothing the

      commands of his inferiors in the department over which he is theoretically supposed to preside . If he happens to be a Chancellor of the Exchequer , he provides for the expenditure of the ! approaching year by the simple expedient of fixing taxes and . revising the revenue . This should be a matter of no difficulty ,

      to him or even danger ; he has but to toady a strong party at the expense of a weak one to conciliate the masses and toflatter the press . If he happens to be Minister for Foreign . Affairs , his work is even simpler . Bearing in mind that England prefers infinitely to grovel in the most loathsome of mud .

      rather than to pay fourpence halfpenny , he has nothing furtherto do than to carry out . her wishes . If the Nation is insulted , it his if is h Britan missio is duty n n , in to ' s nose the thank Nation , so that to ' speak s forei nam , ner e is , to pu on apolog lled behalf b ise y the of to the foreigner that aggressor cowardl , it is ; . cur , the so-called British Lion g . As a statesman , he must not y

      tell a lie when the truth will do , he must not hesitate to discard , the truth when a lie seems to be a necessity . If he happens tobe the Minister of War , his work need not be particularly irkruin some for , his the rul Regulars e of con , du sne ct ers sho for uld the be co Militia ntained , and facetious the words snrj ,- > —

      bing hearten Admiralty for the the , he Volunteers Fleet has . onl If . he y to If can he reduce only happens sell the to at estimates be 7 & First . a ton and Lord materi to of dis the als - which ounce ounce have he he mav cost consider consider his predecessors himself himself a a financier financier in office of ot £ 3 eminent eminent A 5 S 9 S economy economy « 2 id- , may

      and support wisdom , Ms colleagues . If he happens in office to throug be a h Premier good , and he evil has repute but to . Voila toict . These duties areand have been for years , thoroughly understood . ; The public has , been satisfied , and-the Ministers have been

      contented . It has really mattered very little whether the reins of Government have been held by tiresome Tories , wagg cious ish Whi Radicals gs , curious : The . Conservatives same rule of , conduct languid has Liberal governed s , or rapa each - party not be on " done finding " has itsel heen f in power the mott ; o to of ' do unto Government others as you . would Well every

      has and been good content ; we repeat . Unhap , every p body ily , however has been , we are satisfied obliged , every to speak body in the past tense , as a Cabinet Minister of the present day has rall supp y lemented grappled with ordinary by the Admi duties ral by of undertaking -the Fleet . a As task this gene task - ,

      if allowed to resolve , itself into precedent , is likely to revolut ionise the whole system of our Government , we feel it incumbent the occasion upon us . to This consider being the the matter case , we with devote a seriousness a fresh paragrap befitting h to its discussion . Here followeth the fresh paragraph . I

      Who is Mr . Childers ? Frankly , we don ' t know . We rather i came magine ori that ginall someone y from has Van told Dieman us at ' some Land time , or or Tasmania other that , he or Australia Atlantic , or some Borneo lace , or of Botany that kind Bay . , or If the he Pacific did come , or the from South Van , p

      Dieman ' s Land , or Tasmania , or Australia , or Borneo , or ; Botany Bay , or the Pacific , or the South Atlantic , or some place of that kind , all we can say is , Van Dieman ' s Land , or Tasmania Pacificor , the or South Australia Atl , antic or Borneo or some , or lace Botany of that Bay kind , or has the , p

      not done , much to deserve our thanks . We have no doubt but what Mr . Childers is admirably adapted to drawing his salary on hum Quarte an automaton r Day , that he we makes will even as good a further minister and as admit any other that he may even be an , nay excellent , substitute go for butter , at breakfast ;

      but there we must draw the line . Whatever the First Lord of th « e Admiralty may have been on board the ship that carried him to England firbm Van Dieman ' s Land , or Tasmania , or Australia , or Borneo , or Botany Bay , or the Pacific , or the South ¦ —__—— i ' ¦ ' . » — - ¦ ¦ ¦« ' . I ..

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), July 16, 1870, page unpag, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_16071870/page/3/