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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 19th September 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 124, Lausanne 1. Norwood . 6. . Windbound 2. ...

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  • Departments (3)
    • CHOPS (TO FOLLOW).
    • BETRAYED BY THE LUNATIC J A TALE OF HORR...
    • ANSWERS TO THE PUZZLES IN OUR LAST.
  • Text (7)
  • Transcript

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      Has Of A By Contemporary Called The Pres...

      * A state of things which admits of the gigantic swindling daily at secretary work in . our Were midst the , is thieving not likel of y to thousands be too hard ste on rling a borrowing to be as bad a business in the eye of the law as the thieving of halfpence and a , fli there ght of would some be of a the sudden finest halt -feathered in the birds commercial in the worl City d . , a b Good , jb * bit » ^ b- b . » b of ^^ r a honest mj a . Bg — S i i— partan m ^ « - *¦ # ^ old b * «^ v ¦ - ^ John as » - — « rf well - ^ r — Bull ^ »* as ^ b- ^^ , a - » - precious bit v ^^ ^ b * of m ^^ b . ^ a T snob b ^ *» old ^ - *^ Bt . ^ . V humbug He ^ b ^ b . w ^ says b ^ ^ v ^ r ^ mt to that >^ everyone ^^ * " he b ^ ™ F is ^^ ~~ , ™ b »» is :

      any " Rig extent as you ; but like by , job Jove as , you sir , like do , it beg handsomel , borrow , y steal —and , swindle take care —to you are never found out . '' To this encouraging language we owe railways pensive wonders , debentures . without dividends , and other tolerably ex-Gentlemen manage these thing ' s en masse . It is the poor man who had better look out what he is about in honest old England !

      T: , 124 The Tom Ah A Wk. - {September 1...

      t : , 124 THE TOM AH A WK . - { September 19 , 1868 .

      Chops (To Follow).

      CHOPS ( TO FOLLOW ) .

      Brittania Rules The Waves ! Could She No...

      Brittania rules the waves ! Could she not manage them throwing to keep down the remark the British into swell the faces on the of forei continent gners , until who is they alway are s sea-sick of it ? * * Who was Saint Leger ? and why docs he patronise races ?

      racing Surel Surelv y . , ! tthere here He should must must be be be a a the mistake mistake patron in in of the the the calendar calendar tribes of of of young saints saints ladies and and who are met with along the French coast at watering places . ¦ * * Faithful A difficult love thing or fast ¦ man friendshi allows p in is this world to meet ,

      Yet bb * m in ^ b-b * bV * the v rffc BV ^ B" w church ^ ^ ^ v ^^ ^ m . ^ w - j , yard ^<^^ « ^^ m you v ^ r * ri » ^^ may v v ^ r ^ ^^ find , H at your feet By hundreds , real friends and true spouses ! •* * * A poor starving woman told me she had heard " a stitch in

      work time to save do s but nine all . " her She ei was ht childre never n behindhand were dead . when Proverbs she got are proverbiall , y false . g K * Astronomers will go any distance to find spots in the

      sunso will their wives to find spots in a neighbour ' s daughters . * ¦ V * A mad world , indeed ! So would you be , if you had been whirled round and round for the last six thousand years .

      Betrayed By The Lunatic J A Tale Of Horr...

      BETRAYED BY THE LUNATIC J A TALE OF HORROR . BY THE EDITOR .

      It Will Be Remembered That Last Week We ...

      It will be remembered that last week we promised our readers a " rich intellectual -treat "—a treat such as to tempt even the " Ghost of a Ruby , " to say nothing of the Love of a acrostics Flute . " We we are informed good enoug the h millions to set who before greedil them y , that devour we had the secured Mtf ^ k ^ ^^ F W ^ V 4 . ^^^ ^ 0 ^^ the ^ V H ^ B ^ B ^ F ^ services ^^ ^ . pv . ^ V ^ B ^^^ ^^ ¦ of ^ . v ^^ a ^^^ v literary ^ rw «^ ^ v ^^^ ^ ^^* - ^ F WB W * man ^ ^^ «* ^^^ T * ^ v well ^^ T ^ " ^^ ^ known ^ v ^ ^^ ^ V ^ . ^ V * ^* ^^ ^ in ^ ^ fc ^^ the W ^ B ^^ ^ Q ^ F shady ^^^ f ¦ ¦ * ^ B ^ V ^ V L .

      walks Camberwell of " Hanwell Green " the to Intellectual cater for their " as amusement the " Livel . y Lu We natic made of this do far announcement nobler than the with mere a si string gh , for ing we together felt that of we doggrel had work lines— to a purpose with a greater end than the entertainment of the thoug sion , we htless deemed and ourselves the lazy . p However ledged to , having our word made . " the The conces Lively - this Lunatic week " to was be secured in a position at some to little l expense our readers , and with we several trusted f

      ¦ first * * » VaV - rate T ^ T ^ V ^ " ^^ acrostics V * ^ V V ^ v * ^ B * ¦ * H * " . ^ ^ B ^ Unhapp v ~^ v ^ BT ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ BV il ^^ y , supp BMF our B . l 1 *^ % ^* wish y J ^^^ ^*~ has ^~ ^^~ B ^ W not ^ fevB * ^ f ^ B > been V * F V V « 4 BB *» B realised > B |^| V « ^ f ^ Bf « Jf bB , behaviour owing to of the the scandalous " Lunatic ( " we himself repeat , who the has word treated —scandalous us in a ) manner century , could that , were only it be not " forgotten for the prejudices " in blood of the ! But nineteenth here wq ' will our plain unvarnished tale unfold , and allow the public to judge between us .

      It Will Be Remembered That Last Week We ...

      staff Wishing , we invited to show the courtesy " Lively Lunatic to the new " to our acquisition house . The (?) to firs our t day passed off very well , if we omit the little incident of the with " Lunatic the soup " insisting -tureen upon and the play footman ing cricket —very in the well drawing indeed - . roo We m , regret we cannot give as favourable an account of the succeeding ^ m " *^¦•¦ » a " 1 . ^ Bj ' When * - - - A v m . B » —— he -B « - ^ K * came - * M ^ * -w— ~ M ^ * - ^ ^ down -B ^ B , ^^ " * ^ »^ to ¦ » ^^ breakfast » B » Bfc . ^ Bp " m— fc ^ * fc ^^ W *^ . * 9 _ , the » B * . ^^ fc ~ » " B Lunatic > _ ^^ ^ V *» fc _ » - ^* »¦ B . ^^ - " declared ^^^^ ^ B * * V ^^ bW ^^ B ^ B ^

      his sending intention all our of children "sitting down to school to work , locking . " He up insisted our wife upon in our the coal " would -cellar keep , and the muzzling place quiet the . " cat He . then These asked measure that s , a he ream said of , foolscap into the , a library quart , of together ink , and with a bushel three of dozen pens should of champagne be carried , a couple of bottles of brandy , some ice , a tumbler , and a corkus screw , went . Having into the comp library lied , and also locked with the this door request after , him he . thanked

      Extracts from the Editor ' s Diary . II A . M . ask I him have " been how he to is his getting door . on Quite ? " He quie says t , evidentl " splendidl y hard y , but at work he hasn , ' I t bottle quite done . yet . " I hear a pop , which sounds like the opening of a ¦ 11 m- Jk . 30 « J ^^ a a . tL . . m t ^ JM . . m

      on— Agai wonderfoolishl n ask how " y he . Written is getting conundrum on . " Rep . " ly in Ask thick him voice to let , me " Gettin see it - . opening Reply , champagne "By ' an'bye . . All-rightsh . " Pop ! Pop . ' Pop ! Surely he ' s 12 Noon . Third visit . "CanI come in ?' ' "No , Tcan ' tsh . Res ' pec'blelit ' ry-man . Neverearofsuchathing and bad language 1 Disgraceful ! I ! break Schandalous the ! Shamed door and ' o ' find shelf the ! "

      some very open in " Livel one hand y Lunatic and a " champagne with a blank bottle sheet in before the other him . . He His has state a is tumbler easier has imag made ined than a described ital riddle . . I He rate ask him s . soundly , and he declares that he cap " When is a door not a door ?" "Whymiserable mountebank" I scream " every idiot knows that

      the answer , to that riddle is ,, " When it ' s a jar !" "NO ! " shouts the " Lively Lunatic , " absolutely yelling for joy , " YOU ARE WRONG ! " " Wrong ! " I exclaim , " then what is the answer ?" must " What find , out " observes for self the Literary Man , with a bitter smile , " you

      your . " kindness And now . The , indul " Livel gent y Public Lunatic , we " throw positivel ourselves y declines upon writing your an acrostic until his pupils have mastered what he calls " the elementary part of the subject . " So as you love us , answer this question by next week : — " When is a dooii not a door ?" Remembering that the reply > " When it ' s a jar , " is incorrect .

      Answers To The Puzzles In Our Last.

      ANSWERS TO THE PUZZLES IN OUR LAST .

      Lausanne 1. Norwood . 6. . Windbound 2. ...

      Lausanne 1 . Norwood . 6 . . Windbound 2 . Clapham . . 7 . 3 . Oxford Pegwell . 8 B . ay Worms . 4 . . - ^ Enone 9 . Water . 5 . . 10 . Answers Vandyke have . 11 been . Snow received . ii . fro Beethoven m Jack Solved . 13 . New It , L Zealand inda Princess . , L W ogan ushp , erle Tempesttossedcompassandrudderless and Her Lunatic Husband , Gulnare , Whissendine ( Ramsgate , F , re W derick alter T and D rebl oug Bone las i , Tomfool C -Hag hie , , L G ie S ranniep bst . E . V ilgrimlard L . eberwurst H . E . V idida . , J E . , . L M W . . B B . t . erbo Two S . ( u Bayswater Black rneskinner Diamonds ) ci , Skin ke , Adontote Arlontote Real Annie g , N N .. ( G G Tooting .. E E .. , . Mr Mr ) , . . J Blood Blood . A T . or or ( Eastbourne Dan Dan A A Horse Horse ) , Four , . S Samuel amuel Hastings E E . . Thomas Thomas Scalps , , , ,

      tegmm W . B . e W fag . and i , Elsie W . , W Un . , , The Forest Glorious Hill Owl Company , The , of Major Lunatics , Recubans ( Limited sub ) , To whit , Annie ( Footing ) , The Wendover Wonders , Two Enterprising Queen Earwigs Wasp , F . of North the , Moon Greenove , Camden r , Sti Town ck in Tad the pole Mud , , C Old . Jones John , , Fl D y . C ing ., Florence Scud , Tommy , The and Welsh Joey Ni , ghtingal G . G . ( Croy e , J d . on M ) . , F ( Woolwich rances , Two ) , The Brums Terror , B . L of ., Supporter Wandsworth of , Mr A . . Gladstone B . ( Chatham , The ) , Adam Dublin Bede Boy , J , . Fair B . ( Bristol Ellen ) , , Twopenny A Staunch , Marion An Abo ( Cheltenham inal Australia ) , Fairp n , T lay wo , M F . l C vernites , and , S Honest . Sansom J ehu . , Clara Bell ,

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Sept. 19, 1868, page 124, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_19091868/page/12/