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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 20th March 1869, Edition 1 of 1, Page 132, " Dear Sir,—My boy Tom's a wonderful boy...

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    • O/ MONSTROUS I
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      No. I. "Pol, Me Occidistis, Amici." Of M...

      details , which would be otherwise unnecessary . One must be however lenient towards wearisome the and ignorance tediou of s it the may lower be to part one of 's creation own su- , perior intelligence . I will then make a few observations on the order of creation . men Parrot are s very , of c wise ours and e , are good the they highest become form of parrots animal , but life they . When have to pass through intermediate phases . Cockatoos are men not quite good enough to be parrots . beatified Macaws but are who civic never dignitaries reach , to lord the mayors and state aldermen of the , parrot . , supreme but Parroquets who can do are little women else who but would scream pass and themselves look pretty for parrots ; from , whose lips words of wisdom never fall . I have Of mocking not the birds space , magpies to speak , . starlings Suffice it , and to say pip they ing bullfinches are parrots , who for their misdeeds have been degraded in the scale of creation , but not so low as to be changed into men . any There importance are other , at animals least fro in m the an world intellectual , I believe point , but of not view of . Some are made to be eaten , others to be beaten , and others to be hunted and shot by men ; perhaps to keep the latter out of worse mischief . Man is a very imitative animal . In this respect he is clever . It some may men seem speak a bold nearl thing y as well to say as , parrots but I . have certainly heard Men write and read with tolerable facility . They have no invention , no imagination , and incorrect memories . Their plan of writing a book is a very simple one . They listen carefully to what a parrot says on any subject , and then they go and write saviner it mu all ch down . to the best of their recollection , which is not

      have I am induced the first me to parrot do this who , but has that written I am , and so sick nothing of hearing would the having inaccuracies constantly and expressed blunders my of disgust men , rep I was eated not to unnaturall me , that y sharing deputed by my those energy of to my be race their , who spokesman shared my as disgust it were v and / ithout to try and leave men without the excuse of saying , that they , write what is false only because they do not know what is true . It is of the highest importance to have correct and settled opinions ^ . but Nobody it is onl ever because ought their to change inions their are never opinions correct . Men . do s ® , If your opinion y is correct op why change it ? If it is incorrect why have it at all ? My op , inions are always correct , and this , is the case with nearly all parrots , except those who are drifting into cockatoos—I can ' t answer for them . Parrots never read books ; they sometimes let men read their books out loud to them . There is only one object in reading books , and that is to show that whatever the writer says is wrong . Parrots know this beforehand . They know what is ri that ght they , and say everything is right that and their they know views is on right all , subjects and everything are the true ones . Why should , they read then 1 Not to learn anything , for that they do by observation . You cannot observe by reading other people ' s observations , because they may be enh tirel avin y g wrong never been For th ins ere tance : wh , at you is th re e good a book of that about 1 You Africa can ' t , they see Africa say is with true another ; in fact , person you may ' s eye be s pretty ; you certain can't tell that that as what they don ' t say what you would have said if you had seen it , it is not

      true . All this may seem to show that I should never have written anything j but I think that I have justified my course already . wri One ting thing wit I hout am cer being tain the of is wiser that for no i t ; and can , thoug read h what this m ay not any boo say k th ing at mu he ch has , s read till it before is some , because thing whic , having h you been can ' t written say of by men , they can only teach him to be more foolish than he was before . they It wi may ll be form my concise endeavour and to correc guide t the opinions minds on of men all subjects so that , which opinions will last them all their lives long , without ever being modified , or changed at all . be , If and I do therefore this I hope , probabl that y they , they will wi be ll not grateful be . . If They I thoug oug ht ht that to very many men would profit by my excellent precepts , I do not

      No. I. "Pol, Me Occidistis, Amici." Of M...

      men think ' would that I become should parrots have the ; courage and I am to not write at them all certain , for then that all it is not better that the majority of them should remain where they are , in the lower part of the animal creation .

      132 The Tomahawk, [March 20, 1869.

      132 THE TOMAHAWK , [ March 20 , 1869 .

      O/ Monstrous I

      O / MONSTROUS I

      The Morale Of A Psople Is At Very Low Eb...

      The morale of a psople is at very low ebb when monstrosities are necessary adjuncts to the amusements of the capital . No sooner did that melancholy spectacle , or pair of spectacles perhaps we should say , the Siamese Twins , appear at the sequently Egyptian H amusement all , where erst camped instruction in the found shape a of home public , and enter sub- - tainers this appears , but strai in print ghtway , no a doubt giantess the made attraction her ddbut will be , and increased before by a two-headed porcupine , or a kangaroo with four waistcoat pockets . We may expect next Christmas , when the pantomimes again flood the unhappy stage with orsiden and assifias cation an additional , to see lusus spice natures to the of hig all hly kinds flavoured and horrors menu . advertised Indeed , this year Drury Lane inflicted a fiddling Albino on its audience ; a virtuoso no doubt , and one we should be charmed to meet at wonder any concert than , ' the where absence the presence of colouring of his matter talent in was his blood a greater but not to be allowed in a dramatic entertainment when advertised , as an error of Nature instead of a marvel of art . What may we expect next year ? No doubt managers of London theatres are already in close correspondence with families who enjoy the possession Mr . Chatterton of one or or Mr more . E . monstrosities T . Smith we , and should could probabl we overlo y read ok something or another not unlike the following epistles : — He " is Sir in , — the I am happy mother possession of a charmin of onl g y infant one leg seven , which years is benefi of age - . cently compensated for by the addition of an extra nose , and three horns at the back of his head . His intelligence , grace , ment and talents the comb , are -and surprising - . and He has plays received on our a silver national medal instru for - his grins , through the paper county ; horse-collar . As I am not of a grasping disposition , nor obliged to seek my living , I can part with the end rny of cherub the season for nine . pounds a week , and a clear benefit at " I am , dear Sir , , " Your obliged servant , "Una Stork . « Dublin . "

      " Dear Sir,—My Boy Tom's A Wonderful Boy...

      " Dear Sir , —My boy Tom's a wonderful boy , and if it was not for his little sister , as is attached to his shoulders by a ligament which I suppose Nature knew what she was about when As she they fixed are it , , would boy and stand girl alone , they in are the unique world ! as They a child is of proficient genius . performers on the side drum , lofty trapeze , and musical glasses . Also defenc they e . If goes it wasn through ' t as they the experience broadsword some exercise difficu , attack lty in both and standing on the ground at the same time , they ' re a real pleasure for the eye to dwell upon . Our terms is three pound a night , and the same for a morning levee . N . B . —We finds our own properties . " Your respectful servant , " Sue Z . Panama . " Philadelphia . "

      Brother U Dear 'S A Sir Giant ,— , Yo On...

      brother u Dear ' s a Sir giant , — , Yo only u want eight a sens foot ation six in for his Christmas socks , but . capable My eldest of attaining nine foot in his boots , with military heels . He also has- the undeniable advantage of possessing two thumbs on each of his hands , of which he has three , counting the little one at his shoulder . He is made so much of in the family it would be a real blessing to us to engage him . I think 1 could get him to come for thirty bob a week . Do think of us . " G . O'Liath . Tun ., " Gath . "

      Answer To Enigma In Our Last.—Mind. Answ...

      Answer to Enigma in our Last . —Mind . Answers have been received from Samuel E . Thomas ( correct ) j and incorrect from . C . F . BraceRadfordThe Crowndale Spaniel , and Blueskin . , ,

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 20, 1869, page 132, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_20031869/page/14/