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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 21st May 1870, Edition 1 of 1, Page 196, 196 THE TOM AHA WK. Ww 21, 1870.

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  • Departments (5)
    • MINISTERIA L COOKERY.
    • ! CRABBED CRITICISM.
    • VERY SMALL TALK. i ¦
    • TOO MANY COOKS.
    • LO YALTY AND ITS LA WS.
  • Text (12)
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      The Time Has Arrived For Some One To " S...

      whose duty it is ( if " Society " has a meaning ) to cut them as absolutely as if they were malefactors on their road to the hulks —as if they were lepers flying from a tainted city of the dead ! But no , " it is too much bore ; " so the man who has been ostracised by respectable society , finds acquaintances , if not friends in the clubs he cannot enter , in the families he dare not ap- ^ proach , and thus toleration renders vice attractive , for vice shows all its advantages while it boasts no punishment . So much for the male " half world " of London . HOf the female portion of vicious society , we can scarcely speak without some sort of compassion . We feel that kind of regret it seeing an occupied St . John ' s Wood brougham that we should probably experience if we ever came across a broken musical ' dox of no great value . What a pity ! Voila tout . Miserable creatures , they are too utterly contemptible to preach over . Let them repent and be well flogged , and then it will be , perhaps , worth someone ' s while to look after their immortal souls ! As for the wretched cads who associate with them , and by doing so often bring ruin upon their own heads and the heads of their families , they are beneath even our contempt ; Nature should have made them clodhoppers instead of ( heaven save the mark !) gentlemen / But there—the theme is distasteful to us . Leaving the female portion of the " half world " of London out of the question , a great remainder is to be found . That remainder exists because it is the fashion to tolerate it . We have not sufficient space at our command to pursue the theme further on this occasion ; the reason ( a good one ) why we drop the subject for the present . One thing we must assert before we conclude , vice can be spelt in two ways—either VICE or L . S . D . ; as for its votaries , only one word will describe them , that word is spelt as follows , — FOOLS !

      196 The Tom Aha Wk. Ww 21, 1870.

      196 THE TOM AHA WK . Ww 21 , 1870 .

      Ministeria L Cookery.

      MINISTERIA L COOKERY .

      To Make Earl. A Put Duke Him . In — A Ta...

      To Make Earl . a Put Duke him . in — a Take false an position Irish . M Pat arqui him s or on an the English back , and promote him . To Make an Earl . —Any Baron with ready money and briskl Liberal at princi election ples times will . answer the purpose . Stir him up y I ' o Make a Baron . —To a City banker add a marriage with him a Duke ' hot s daug under hter , and ancestral a series name of good he likes dinners . . Serve up any To Make gation , a remember Baronet it . , — and Having the thing put yoursel is done . f under an obli-To Make a Knight . —A Lord Mayor out for a holiday will i cads serve and admirabl enemies y , but b Aldermen e substituted , grocers at discretion , mountebanks . , may \ ¦ ¦ „ . 1 - , 1 ¦¦ ,, — , ———

      ! Crabbed Criticism.

      ! CRABBED CRITICISM .

      A Conte Apropos Mporary Of The States Re...

      a conte Apropos mporary of the states recent that capture a monster of a crab salmon weighing in the 40 Thames lbs ., has , 5 recentl feet long y been and taken 2 teeth in ! Yokohama " Such was Bay its , Ja , strength pan , which , " adds had legs our contemporary , " that in the water it could easily have overare nowered ready a to man admit . " As that to we this should part of collapse the story in we a struggle , for our under part , size such , but circ beyond umstances this with we are a inclined crab of to the be ordinary incredulous two . -shilling It is a strange i hing unusual characteristic happens , of the Eng papers lish are journalis for a m certain , that time when full any of - gooseberry still more unusua brings l for events ward founded a giant m thereon ulberry . o Thus r a st , a up m en onst dous er mushroom , and on . the same principle the Tharn . es salmon has tion * ive , n us a Jap ht anese have crab had . so But me shame more ori on g the inal editorial natural imag pheno ina- - menon than this .

      Very Small Talk. I ¦

      VERY SMALL TALK . i ¦

      Following Even — In Which These .We Days...

      following Even — in which these . we days copy of from mild a and dail m y eagre paper— " good is unusuall stories y , " defi the - cient in point , interest , and moral : — - a prisoner " On the at 12 the th ultimo Criminal , Mr Sessions . Chisholm of the Anstey Bombay , while Hi defending gh Court was At for mitted Court the committed . close you That in of object for order the further contempt has case to been maintain and the b attained y Jud the ge peace Judge , said and therefore — , and Sir there Mr Charles quietness . Anstey co is nsider no occasio Sargent , I in co the m n - ! self detaining discharged you and the matter , you at may an end . To this Mr . Anstey yourreplied—it shall not end with me , and quitted the Court . " Anstey In . fact had , the quarrelled story beg , ins and after finishes Sir before Charle they s Sargent had made and it Mr up . . As and the who subject was wrong of the does dispute not appear is kept — back the — " even good who story was " is ri alto ght - gether unique .

      Too Many Cooks.

      TOO MANY COOKS .

      Amongst The Announcements Of Books, Whic...

      Amongst the announcements of books , which will shortly be published in Norway , appears , the Channel " Fjeld Isle Islands and , Tor and , " a Cornwall volume for . English tourists in Europe tourists their can have movementS be certainl said j to y , be safe now late from years no them p , lace become ; but the somewnat the idea Continent of erratic a cir of - cular tour from Norway to J ersey , Guernsey , and Penzance is i a confess are novelty in the we even nei have g in hbo tours not urhood the . Where least of N " idea orway Fjeld ; , but I or sle , the and even Tor Channel supposing " is we I frankl slands they y or Cornwallit does not account for the inventor of the new , tour opposite having directi , fixed on upon possible three as out suitable of the halting way p places laces in for the a sum most - mer tition in p . the We tourist can onl agencies y suppose has that driven the somebod excitement y mad of . compe-

      Lo Yalty And Its La Ws.

      LO YALTY AND ITS LA WS .

      Of Acco The Opening Rding Of To The The ...

      of Acco the opening rding of to the the new report buildi of the ngs proceedings of the University on the of occasion London b attendance y the Queen , on the Wednesday Prince and last Princess , it seem of s that Wales an rode equerry in ad - upon vance shouting of at their the Royal top of his ghnesses voice to ' the carriage assembled down multitude Bond street on , the dience at the pavement time that , it the , " was Hats su intended mmons off . " As did to the inspire not rain meet . was Indeed with falling the the pretty abject crowd heavil obe not y - " di y pped kept " their as a salute hats relig of honour iously on as , the but Royal not even corte , umbrellas ge trotted were by . ing part The of of point the the head , catechism however s of the , of of populace the an littl equerry e pn public isode to provide , occasions is , as for to whether the , or u whether ncover it is - Wales it was that by the a member express and of his especial suite galloped command in of front the of Prince the car of - ri the age first , com proposition manding the , that public it is to onl bow y part to their of an royal eque master rry ' s duty . On to provide a loyal reception , we cannot express an opinion , as of Tomahawk so exalted a person neve age r an . e With querry regard himself , however , or in the , to the conf seco idence n d explanation of the proceeding , that the Prince himself had said we to his can att speak endant ho , w " ever Ride with on , an d eate tell r confide m to n ce e as we ir ar hats e quite off , " sure His Royal , Highness , is sufficiently convinc , ed of his popube larity the to last require no in such the a world token to of insist respect on , and four would or five , m thousand oreover , persons getting person colds in their heads to gratify the momentary , g b ive ut used him - . up Rather pleasure let , which us solve a great the problem reception by would assuming probably that he made the looked equ himself s erry dow on loyalty n remarkably q uestio nd as n a re was necessary ridiculous etand new did to accompaniment by showing not w believe ork , the and in public to m the a oreover royal th de < it - pressing progres influence of pelting , rain on ordinary people .

      Our National Flower.—Bank Stocks.

      Our National Flower . —Bank Stocks .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), May 21, 1870, page 196, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_21051870/page/4/