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    May 23, 1868.J THE TOMAHAWK. 211

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    POOR HUMBUGS.

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    My Idol—the " Man about Town." A BETTING...

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  • Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.

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    May 23, 1868.J The Tomahawk. 211

    May 23 , 1868 . J THE TOMAHAWK . 211

    Poor Humbugs.

    POOR HUMBUGS .

    My Idol—The " Man About Town." A Betting...

    My Idol—the " Man about Town . " A BETTING book ! divided Yes , here by the is his sing handwriting le row of names —I see . Ah the I double remember set of some figures of these meant < B > m * — ^^ — » — ¦ — ¦¦ ^ horses bread B- ^ ^ -bjb » ¦* * - . and ^ -w ^ B » " biibi Sultan butter f »^ « p-b » B » - B for . ^^ ^ , H ' or - » jb * ^ Dream eks « rather Bfc » - bj bb- ^^ ^^^ months » " champagne « , ** ^^ was *^ p v ^ b » B *^ , a ^** i ^ very ^ Robin ^ fc ^ , M " little ^ great « b b ^ bb 4 * ^^ suppers **^ bvb find > Mi ^ b % ^ bj — ^ ^ b »^ it , m "

    re and -horsed jfidte dejbts the broug gras ham , we and paid — some . of " those little Hood matters / ' too , at the Arlington . " Blushing Maid " was certainly a " cropper , " but entry not just a very a little bad lo one wer ; but down I , own whe I re don the ' t like notes the come look of to this an any abrupt thing conclusion to some peop . " Peep , but to my Tomp idol kins the " horse may hav broug e ht meant dishow grace »• - »— - - » the ir and »* ^^ brute - *^ ruin ^ -b * b > » ^»* . ( V well No ^^*^ , not loaded -b ^^ b ^ « i «¦ ^* disgrace ^ # ^^» with w a *»* 4 . ruin «^ I »¦¦ ^^ will ^ . ) j never a ^ b * tell w ^ b *^ you carried ^ bt mnr ** 4 by » «** ^ w ^ and to w ^* r the v « by ^ ^ « mv

    was winning a chestnut -post a ; grain in sp of disgrace of this . , I " recollect the jockey that on the the creature white horse cur a / " did Substitut not disdain e mors to for guide cura him , and . Pos then t equitein perhaps sedet you may atra catch and now my for me a aning few words ! But about here let my me idol close —an this idol betting not of book gold , , silver Tall , , or bearded clay , but , and idol well of pure dressed brass . ! Reckless , a blaze air , lavender glovesand » bi neat Bh b boots b ¦ . Bihat b small cihorn

    •»•— w cane alked - ^* »* , and »^^^ out r % eye ^^ of - ^^ g ^^ , J lass one " »* . of « In a ^ b » v » Leech fact w »*— Ba , - ^ my ^ ' s ^^ " patron swell ^ ^> g . ^ " »» looked pb » caricatures » , m *^^^ ^ a ^ a * ^^ as A if gar *¦_ £ v ; he a . , m rather ^^ had «^ ^ ^^ " acceptation loud" for a of gentleman the word . , but He still was a a gentleman fine-looking in fellow the popular , and a ~ " the dashing strong fellow , the , and brav I , admired and the beautiful him as only . It youth struck can me worshi that it p to was w -vf scoff B ^ ^^ a *«^~ ¦> noble ^ at vv bb- one ^ mv faithfulness « - < thing B > -m ^¦ r ' s bi ^ Creator ^^ r ^ b * to ^^ B . disdain V »^ 4 k , bj a B- ^> witty B w Bf c to B )» B * r pay thing " a * a * * ^** this one ^ Bm . to a * ^ ' s deride ^ tailor » a ^* ^ . a > »> ah Bb , woman a ^ fearless ^ r ^^ aV WBjf ¦ ^ aV ' s h . ^ purity ir thing Wa ^ ¦ «¦» at W

    to and worshi man ' s this manone . who Believing cursed his , how creditors then , could defied I fail his God , and p laughed the , Ten Commandments out of countenance , ? lessness Believe . , there was something sublime about his utter reckever False thoug ? Oh ht him yes ! true why . , he It would was his have pride laug that hed he heartil rouas y false if I — had he hated to be out of the fashion—and believed the world to be a

    monstrous universal lie . ' Believing this , he would not have his been own true whiskers to save ! his And father this ' s life was ; more the , man not even I selected to preserve for a friend—no , not for a friend ; my idol had no friends—for a patron I must . own he took a great deal of trouble with me . Under his tuition I progressed most wonderfully . I learned

    wil that that the the that world world it abounded we we lived lived in in with was was a a it p r - > snares leasant leasant and p nlace lace brambles to to the the wealth wealthv that y and and the pit- y snares ; were called Jew money p -lenders and the ; brambles sheriff mission ' s officers life was ; that play the ; that one great this great pleasure pleasure , business , business , and ¦ , p and lay in mission the Club was , divided and play into in the three City classes ; that —p play lay on on the Turf Turf , meant trickery and lying , hobnobbing with blackguards and

    blacklegs gushed from , with the men gutter of to two roll kinds among of gold blood , and —blood blood that that had had coursed mingled throug with the h noble mud j veins that to play fall in lower the and Club lower meant until long it ni brain ghts ; that of excitement play in the and City brand meant y , weary theft and work treachery , and aching , the stealing of widows' mites , the robbery of their children ' s all . Then I learn love t that " happiness in St " meant a wood good book honour on the

    meeting Derby ; " of the , " Monday a cottage account . at John Tattersall ' s ' s ; . " I found , " that the that there there was never only a would Present be , a that Future there ! never had been a Past , road So wider I admired —as if this t ' were man , not and wide helped enough him to already make without the Devil our ' s frantic aidl My patron and coffee bvib was B . a man Tubbing ibb of Wtr regular feast dressing habits and . He breakfast woke at eleven at Bjp two bj ^ :

    o paper M ' clock m ^ " ^ . ^^^ » ^ Drive ^ w ^ v * - « * ^^ to ^ bv V club * w > *** number ¦* ^ « p « , m ¦ ^* m ^ one ^^ •>** ¦* # — a > * * p ^ whist k , " j **!* * * ^ . B * M ff Seven * W 4 > ^^ W * V * ^ — V # ^ f VbT Vj dinner # ^ y T at T *^ r and club number soda . Eleven two—billiards —whist , and and coffee brand . Ten y and —whist soda , . Twelve brand — y Thr whist ee , — " humbug soda " and brand coffee y . . Four One— — dearie " humbug * . Two " —e * carte more \

    coffee . Six—still at cards—ecarte * again , and more " humbug . " earl Seven y milkman —account , rump given led into white tie steward , latch , key Hansom , long face , sun , - heav light y , heart , and bed ! To-day the counterpart of yesterday , tomorrow One afternoon the counterpart , however of" , to my -day patron ! failed to keep up his reknew putation him —four not . This struck was in the most morning strange , as room it was , and an " the day club " the ¦ ¦ Turfand the " members lb " were in town lounging fc at kBB the «¦>

    various Five BB ^ « B 1 ^ BV B > ^ B » struck ^ * ^ B " , W > ^ exchanges B * ^ , ^ ^ BtfBft and ^ V 4 » * h ^^ six . , " B struck > 4 fc ^ _ lay V ^^ ^ ^^ ^ ing ~ | ~ , ^^ ^ k and long ^ ^ * then V ^ B odds . 4 * ^ B 4 ** -Bl ^ B > the ^ , ¦ or ^ V ^^ following * v taking _ ^ ^ 4 >** ^ k ^ ^^ ^ ^ short ^^^ ^ ^ b letter ^^ ^¦ B prices *> W A was ^ SBt ^^ . put into my hands by one of the club waiters : — — Buildings , Chancery I . ane . My dear Boy , For Heaven ' s sakelook me up . That confounded scoundrel

    , , my carriage-maker , has put me in here fora " pony . " If I don ' t get out to-night , I shall be covered with " detainers " by to-morrow morning . Yours ever , Jack . — So ^^ r "V my ^^^ ^ w patron M m ^ " ^^ V ** ^^ ^ ^ was B V ~ 1 ~ 1 ' ~ |~ in ^ ^^ ^ trouble Bj ^ J ^ —\ ^ ^ B > m \ ^ B » > j ^ at Bk ^ BP W ^ last B > « W * j ^ V . V * If Bto ^ B ^ I ^ t had ^ ^^ *^^ . ^ B ^ Bf ^ followed ~ ~ ^ i * h 1 ^^ * V ^ h ^ ^¦^*> the V * ¦ ^ ^ BV "

    dictates of my reason , and regarded the precepts of the man I had to his chosen note for secondl my model should , I first cooll should have have ordered sent no answer dinner in existence the coffe from e ; room my ; thoug and y , , thirdl hts . y This , should y done have , if banished I never saw his very him p again lausible , a shrug excuse , of with the shoulders " you know ; if I did fellow see , " tacked him again on the , a end a-wbb of it just vb to b disarm # his displeasure . But for once in

    life ^ pv * , I - *»^ * blew | * ^ >» his ^ v » - ^^ precepts v **^ w « 4 * ^*« k ^ to ^<* m , ^ r the ^^ ^ ^^ k winds ^ ¦«• % * v ^ «* , ^^ followed a ™ ^ * - * v 4 ^ the ^ ^ ^^^ ^ dictates ^ ^^ -v ^ ^ - »^ my ^^ of ^ r my of my own way heart to , Chancery chartered lane a . Hansom , and made the very best A house in a sort of court-yard got at through gates and an gone archway melanchol . A building y mad , looking and had like been a lodg put ing into -house a strait that -waist had - ransr coat the of bell bell iron and bars struck strurk —a door the the , a knocker knocker knocker and and , and then then a bell I I waited waited handle until until . II I rang ,

    the heard tones the of sound a gruff of a voice creaking asking lock me , the , " fall who of I a wanted heavy ? step " I , and answered enter . to A passage questioner leading ' s satisfaction to a staircase , and —but then such was a allowed staircase to ! — room a landing a perfect ] A , an tottering cage open of iron door sofa bars , , and a — string the creaking interior less steps piano of and , a room table faded . covered carpet Such a , with * * "" ^ - —¦ ¦— an Bf « 44 Jfc ink ^ A ^^ y W faded cloth *^ ^*«^ ^ 4 A , * curtains 1 a " J ^ few * a ^ V V ^ old B # two ^* wffl chairs *^ * » WB * >^ , m ^ some » blinds * *^ A A Al VftV tawdry *^ B ^^ two ^ ¦< B ^^ ^ S sporting ^^ B ^ ^ bT ^ win W ^ A A ^ BV

    prints dows , and some a score of iron bars , . On yellow one of the , chairs dirty with his - how face between or , other in his quite hands a , different sat my patron manner . to He his received usual sty me , le some . Do - you know , I think he too had blown his precepts to the winds . reall '* On y kind my soul you , old . I fellow was , afraid " said you he , would taking think my hand it too , " great this is a bore make to yourself come to comfortable see a poor —if beggar such a thing like me is . possible Sit down in such and

    ^ B cursed We ^^ ¦ V * ' ^ B ^ ch F ™^^ ^ " atted ^ hole ^^ ^ " ^ ^ " ^ ^^ ^™ as the ^~ ^ " ^ this *™ matter ^»^ - ^ . " ^^ V W B ^ B" ^ " ^ over »» ^» - ^ , ^^ and '"""" ^» » - what ¦ ' ^ ^ ¦ ^ " ¦ with ^^^ B ^ ¦ ¦— the Bl ^^ ^^ aid ^ ¦ ^ " ^ of ^ " ^ ^ ' Jews V . B' ^ W ^ B » ^ ^" , bill once -stamps more to , and fortu " ne shixty . My per patron shent was , " manag liberated ed to and see became a road a " regular" man again—at the Club , in the City , on the Race

    Course . But not for long . fellow The next ly time ing ill I saw and him weak ' twas on a in sofa a sick . He room was . quite The down poor this time . __ Great ^ B ^ tfB ) Bfe _ ^ T Vj ^ BJp W heavens ^ B Bl ^ W V ^ V V V ^ B * B ^^ ! W " he ^ » B a » B | ^^ B * to comp ^ B * ^^ make ¦ ^ m ^ BV B < lained ^ v ^^ ^ - ^ both * — - ^ v " ^^ 1 B- to ^ ^^ ' - ends ^ 'me ^ ¦¦ - «| ~>^ , " meet what W V ^ ^ ^ _ ^ ^ tied _ B can ^ BV . ^^¦ ^ a » ^ ^ to _ I ^ w this do B * « ^ B * ^ ? B 1

    How the deuce am I earth cursed am place I to They live ? The ' t let doctor me go ( confound to my club him , !) tells how me I that ought —wouldn to go ' abroad t they ? . Ha ell , ! it ha must ! end My soone creditors r or later would . I allow must BB meet , ^ Bfe ^ b * ^ B * " ^ that " ^ ^ ^ m w- ^» ^ r cursed ^ B ^ » » ^» - »^ - ^^ ¦ bill r- ¦ ^ ^ ^ m - ^ , « » I ^— mus — - » t — settle - __ . at the club — __ . _ , I — must . _ , __ pay ^^ . — _

    those " What brutal ' s to ring be -me done n ! ? " " I asked . behaved " Nothing better , " h than e said mi , excit ght e have dly . " been On my expected soul , old from boy , my you ex ' - ample . Take my advice , old fellow , cut this kind of thing . Look you up there see that . Do nice you , amiable see that , gentle picture little hanging child looking over my up bed into ?— do mother a heavy ' s , imp face ious ? That , fearful ' s what oath— I was " is , what and this I am "— / and 111 and then d came ying ,

• Citation
  • Tomahawk (1867-1870), May 23, 1868, page 211, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_23051868/page/9/