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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 24th October 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 182

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    • A FACT! or, CANVASSING THE COUNTRY.
  • Text (4)
  • Transcript

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      Letter The Vii " . Cours —Ingratitude » ...

      execution for murder at the " Ole Baile *"—more horrible than a " burlesq " of Sir Halliday . " The stage represented a street , with houses and shops , as one mi character ght see was them dressed , in " Pelmel in , " or colours " Peckadilie his . " face The was princi sombre pal and diabolical . Smith told many me the rdle ; was played by a M . Phelp , but I cannot always rely on Smith— -he is sometimes traitor one of . the With tableaux your of permission the piece I ( which will g was ive you short the ) , as dialogue well as of . , 1 can remember it . The name of the hero was " M . le Pons , " who was discovered on the stage . Le Pons . —Ah , I am here ! Alone ! I love it . But seehere comes Madame , my wife . ( Enter Madame le Pons . L . ) Mdme . le Pons . —Ah ! Monsieur , how unhappy I am to be with you . Ten years ago you took me away from my parents —from my mother ! ( Weeps . ) It was cruel , Monsieur ! Mdme Le PONS . le . — Pons But , . Madame —You do not love me—nor our child , our little one ! brains sary Le that Pons ? I must { with get rage my ) . — bdton Madame , so , be that silent I may ! Or beat is out it neces your - think Mdme of our . le child Pons — . — our You little would one not \ harm { She takes me ? her Nay child , Monsieur to her , arms . ) See how he smiles ! It is thy mother , sweet one , who kisses thee . { She kisses the c 7 iild . ) Le Pons . —Give me the child ! ( Move ? nent of Madame ?) Madame Mdme , it is your Pons husband { in tears who ) . — commands Oh ! why ! was I bought at Smithfield ? { She gives up the child ?) Here , Monsieur , you see I am obedient ! Le Pons { with joy )— . Now for my revenge ! { He throws the child brutally to the ground . ) Mdme . le Pons . — -Monster ! Le Pons . —Ah ! where is ray bdton ? { He seises a large

      SUCK . ) Mdme . le Pons . —Mercy ! mercy ! Le Pons . —It is too late ! { He beats her brains out with the stick . Tableau ?) And , would you believe it , these brutal English actually cheered ! This disgusting exhibition is called " Le PonchjudeV ' alread And y now given we you came a map close . The to " the ploughed " cours ground , " of which " is the I have best kind of road for a Frenchman to travel upon . It has two merits leave hold : it stops of the your pommel horse from and are running consequentl too fast y , thrown and , if , you you fall exactl upon y the soft same mud thing . The in First French Obstacle as it does , " the in bul Eng -finch lish , , " so means your readers will easily comprehend the signification of the word . The " wir-fens" is added at the last moment , so that the " gentlemans-jocke ' s" shall know nothing about it . It is invisible further to the lanation riders , but dangerous . . My map will render any expunnecessary The " Gentlemans-Jockd-Cassarewitch-Steeple-Chase Race " " is handi one of -cap the , " is great little " understood handi-caps in " of France the year ; so . I th This ink it word just , as well to tell you its meaning . On account of the ignorance of some of my compatriots , I am certain that many of the great races of my native country are annually carried off by English cab-horses ! Of course you know that every " steepleto chase make " is a won race by equal weight , — it a becomes fat horse necessary is always to the make victor all . the So , horses of the same weight . This duty has to be performed by a of the naval effect officer his decisions ( Britannia are loves known the to sea have ) , upon who , the on public account is called the " Admiral Rows . " Just before a race this official an goes immense down to pair the of " paddock scales . , " The where horses is hung are on dul these y weig occasions hed , and if too fat are immediately placed in Turkish Baths until the proper standard has been reached ; if too thin they are fed on very mulnns toothsome and crumpets dish—I and frequentl " Thorley y dine ' s upon Food it ) for , until Cattle the " like ( a result has been attained . On this occasion the horses were exactly the same weight . They got into a line . The band played " Rule Britannia , " the " start & re" waved the British flag , and they were off I

      Nelusko On they ( the come French over horse the ) p doing loughed wonders field . like The an " avalanche bul-finch " , is soon mastered . Hurrah for La France ! Nelusko wins in a " cantere . " By this time the hero of the hour is leading by a stream couple of of rushing miles . water On , on . , But on , see like , here a roaring comes the torrent Second — like Ob a - stacle ! Alas ! The English set up a hoarse roar as Nelusko tlemans charges -jocke the " '" wir knows -fens " his and duty is cut . in He half jumps ! But off see and , the gives " gen the - poor horse a " pil . " Hurrah for La belle France I that " pil " " of polis Holl -man oway " has approaches saved th . y " honour You go ! no But further no ,. what , " he says is this . " % Ne A " - " lusko is Frenchman—he shall not win . " It is useless—that " polis-man " is the law ! The other horses pass . When they have gone for half an hour Nelusko is allowed to go . Nelusko is third ! _ It is disgusting ! Oh Perfide Albion / ! Receive the indignant consideration of Tules Canard .

      182 The Tomahawk. [October 24, 1868.

      182 THE TOMAHAWK . [ October 24 , 1868 .

      A Fact! Or, Canvassing The Country.

      A FACT ! or CANVASSING THE COUNTRY .

      Scene—An Agricultiiral Labourer's Cottag...

      Scene—An Agricultiiral Labourer's Cottage . Period—The Middle of the Nineteenth Century . Enter—Rather Unscrupulous and Elderly Lady , of strong modern Gracious Tory Maje Principles sty , praying , carry , S ^ ing c , & a c Petition ? to " Her Most Rather Unscrupulous Lady { addressing the assembled householdgenerally ) . —Good morning ; I am glad I find Very you Scrupulous in . You , have H read ead the of little Family tract I { gave truthfully you ? )— . Yees , m'm . R . U dreadfully . —That is wicked right , man and , I Mr hope . Gladstone you see , full is about y now ? what that V R . . S U . . — { vaguely You do )— . not Yees wish , m , ' then m . , to have the rack and thumbscrew introduced into your village % R V . . S U . . { — not exact your ly seeing little it ones ) . —No burned a , m'm alive . under your very eyes 1 V . S . { co 7 ifused )— . Noa , m ' m . R . U over . —Or this horri Christian d Atheists country , Ritualists , seeking , and Radical whom s they let loose may devour ? V R . . S U . . — { more Or th confused at terrible )— . No and a , imp m ' m ious . monster who heads the the Liberal Fenians party seizing , and is your in league wives with by their Mr . throat Bright s , and Satan forcing , and them to worshi , p Baal ? V R . . S U . . — { more Or crumbling confused still your ) . — beautiful Noa , m'm church . into the dust , and rector getting , qu drunk affed over in the its golden ruins vessels in the heart that have ' s blood been of robbed your from the helpless sheep of his flock ? V R . . S U . . — { quite Then at sign sea ) . this —No . a { , Puts m ' m petition ! before him ?) V . S . { relieved ) . —Yees , m ' m . { Signs . ) { And the business is repeated next door with equally brilliant success . )

      Silver Gilt.—Stealing The Spoons. Spain'...

      Silver Gilt . —Stealing the spoons . Spain ' s Pain !—Geographical question for financiers : —Where is the capital of Spain ? A Query . —The Bourbons are at a discount . No country as will well have if them they . all Their took a occupation ship and sought is gone to . find Would a new it not worl be d where known ? heir virtues might be appreciated and their vices un-

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Oct. 24, 1868, page 182, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_24101868/page/10/