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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 24th October 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 177

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  • Departments (1)
    • CANVASSING THE LADIES.
  • Text (3)
  • Transcript

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      On Some Characteristics Of Englishmen. B...

      just had experienced been struck a hard sort of with sensation a well worn about kettle the drum forehead -stick , as and if I violently but instantaneously shampooed . Somebody has , hit me with a rotten egg . I turn to B . J . indignantly , but he suddenly on to the slides floor off . his The chair van with of his the glass fustian of water have and got him table by -cloth the legs and . I strugg Sticks le are with now the apparentl local influence y being used to get freely to the everywhere door . I , ne have ck . been I tell again the Mayor instantaneously he ought to shampooed be ashamed , this of himself time in , and the ask why on earth he does not call out the military . He can ' t hear me . I wonder what has become of the carriage ! Home again , at Dashover . I have a severe contusion on my ri coat ght tails eye , are and gone a leech . Banks over the Johnson left . I is notice having , too a , that warm both bath my , but the doctor says he won ' t get over the shock for some time to that come it won . B ' t . be J . without says the its meeting results was . not exactly a succe . ss , but B . J . is right . I see I have headed this letter " British Love of Fair Play , " and now for my " reflections . " None—the thing is all humbug .

      October 24, 1868.J The Tomaha Wk. 177

      October 24 , 1868 . J THE TOMAHA WK . 177

      Canvassing The Ladies.

      CANVASSING THE LADIES .

      Dear Mr. Tomahawk,—You Will Allow That T...

      Dear Mr . Tomahawk , —You will allow that the experiences which I detailed to you in my last communication were not very encouraging to me in my capacity of canvasser of the man gentle of sex sense , however and a serious gratifying member they may of society have . been But to invi me gorat as a - ing myself with the familiar reflection that " faint heart never won fair lady , " at the commencement of the week 1 resumed my hitherto profitless labours . The first " Person "—I must request that in future you will do me the favour to print this important word with a capital letter—the first Person to whom 1 paid my respects on Monday forenoon last was a lady who had lost her husband some two years previously , but whose name , despite the long lapse of time since that grave event , I had never heard mentioned in connection with rumours of a fresh marriage . She lives a quiet , retired existence , and I had always been given to understand that she considered life as robbed of its chief importance for her of those , when inscrutabl the companion y despotic of decrees her youth to which was , withdrawn Mr . Tomahawk by one , Conservatives and Radicals alike must bow . But I am bound to say that she had not on that account abandoned any of the interest in her home which its external appearance had for many years previously led me to see that somebody or other felt in it . In her husband's lifetime its garden and porch had sedatel always y been up to models its portal of neatness , that its ; grass and -plots I noticed , gravel , as -walks I walked , and flower-borders were more scrupulously cared for even than I TiaH imamneH .

      The interior of her abode was in harmony with the impression that its external aspect was calculated to produce on the observer . In none of the four establishments which I had already visited , and on whose domestic characteristics , you order will remember , purity , and , I thought taste more it my conspicuous duty last week ; and to the dilate garb , were and manners of the servant-girl that admitted me were an exact copy of those I have already described . But this time I was destined to have an interview with the mistress . She entered , with no affectation of ineradicable sorrow on her countenance ; but I could see at a glance that sunshine had It was long clear departed thatwith from the her loss face of , and her , indeed , she from had her entered heart . into the evening , twilight of existence , spouse and that , she was interiorly longing for the blessed night which should restore her to air hjs , presence and a look . Nevertheless of delicate , but she unspoken received me wonder with as a gracious to what could possibly have prompted my visit . After a brief compliher ment porch upon , which the beauty she accepted of some with late much roses simp that le clambered sweetness , up I introduced trude upon the her subject privacy that . , I said , had emboldened me to into say Oh that I Mr they . Smalltalk have put ! " my she name exclaimed on the register " you do % " not mean

      Dear Mr. Tomahawk,—You Will Allow That T...

      I assured her that such was the case . sulted " I had I should not a notion certainl of it have , " she continued used all ; " influence and had I to been revent conanything , of the kind being y done . I have my seen in some p of the newspapers that there is a good deal of talk going on about what they call the female franchise ; but I quite fancied that the idea was confined to a few fanatical men and a few foolish women . I certainly did not suppose that anything of the sort would occur in this neighbourhood . " I remarked that I presumed she w ? . s opposed to women mixing themselves up in politics . husband " Indeed would I am have , " she heard replied of . such " I am a practice quite sure with that horror my ; dear and are I need still scarcel also mine y add . " that , such having been his opinions , they Person It was with difficult whom for I in me reality , Mr . Tomahawk so cordially , agreed to argue ; but with I re a - membered that I was only an ambassador , and had solely to perform the functions of a deputy . I therefore assured her her that , name no matter was now what on her the private ister views and on she that was point full mig entitled ht be , to record her vote at the approaching reg , election . Such , y I added , being the case , I trusted that she would record it in favour of the Conservative candidates . and I was the , indisputable of course , about merits to enlarge of their upon political their personal opinions , claims when she pulled me up as short as she had done on first hearing that her name had been so improperly trifled with . " Vote for the Conservatives , Mr . Smalltalk ! " she exclaimed . " That is quite impossible . My dear husband was a Liberal all his life ; and I should as soon think of obliterating my rethat membrance could of him to as be of done performing in contravention any act , private of his or wishes public or , of his princip appear les . I do not want to vote at all , for I feel sure that he would have strongly disapproved of my doing so . But if it is to be a matter of compulsion , and I am forced to vote for one side or the other , I shall assuredly vote for that side which I confess , had he to been M living r . ToMAHAWK , he would that have when himself these supported words . fell " from her lips , and you , she had done speaking , , J . never felt so much inclined in my life to go down on my knees and propose to a woman as I did then . As I told you the first time I had the regarded honour of as addressing an impenitent you , 1 one am ; a but bachelor I believe , and that am I generall should at y that moment have upset all the calculations of my friends but

      for one deterring consideration , which opportunely came to my bered aid in , and time save that d a me woman from making who was a so fool faithful of myself to the . I rememof one husband was not likely to take another . I therefore memory remained for a few moments stupefied and silent with admiration and . more Ah , commanding Mr . Tomahawk of sympathy ! there is than something our little deeper Whi , g truer and , the Tory very squ point abbles of j throwing for here was myself I , a at Conservative the feet of canvasser a woman , be on - cause she declared that if she voted at all , she should vote for the and Liberal an untrustworth candidate y 1 partisan You may . But say , I Mr am . Tomahawk a poor politician , homo sumand I am disposed to believe that that is a nobler title than , is to be discovered in the whole range of political nomenclature . " Madam ! " I exclaimed , when at length I rose to my feet to take the instincts my farewell of , " I own honour can you never from fail my to heart be . ri Following ht . If I could but think your that there , you were many Persons like yourself g , I should still not despair of the Republic . " thoug I fancy ht me the as extravagant modest creature in my scarcel parting y understood compliments me as , and she had deemed me unreasonable in my opening request . But , you know , it is of the nature of true virtue to be unconscious of its fine I was qualities destined . to meet with a rude shock in my next experinex a one ence considerable t I , communication as have it was just opposed narrated length ; , remaining I . in will But every reserve as , conceivable this mea n letter while account has , dear particular alread of Mr it . y Toma for run to the my to - hawk , Your friend and admirer , Rhadamanthus Smalltalk .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), Oct. 24, 1868, page 177, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_24101868/page/5/