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January 25, 1868.] THE TOMAHAWK. 37
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MILITARY REFORM.
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day When heads the its leading descripti...
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OUR FRIENDS THE FRENCH.
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The Twaddler journeys to Paris ! day I'M...
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WHAT IS MANSLAUGHTER ?
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notice As . we A go sick to press manhis...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
January 25, 1868.] The Tomahawk. 37
January 25 , 1868 . ] THE TOMAHAWK . 37
Military Reform.
MILITARY REFORM .
Day When Heads The Its Leading Descripti...
day When heads the its leading description , or too of often the the "War mis Office -leading with , journal the title of " the An abused Augaean establishment Stable , " it greatl . y exaggerates the faults of that muchruled That in the the number War Department of its hi * gher is overgrown appointments in size , we , and are over quite - aware ; but that any filth or corruption will be found pervading it after the most searching enquiry into its system we do not
believe its extract ; which from being a much so , the better title -informed labelled by the Ti ? nes s on to be to fitter for the sensational heading of certain paper sensational appear papers than for the columns of a respectable journal . The task allotted to the Military Hercules recently sent to Pall Mall is not to cleanse out any " Augaean Stable , " but the
harder task of wrestling with the many-headed Hydra of Departmentalism . Stork This , if is his the king campai dom gn is that to be must any inaugurate better than the in reign the of present King reign such must of King be Log his . war Re- cries formation and , concentration the Director- , General organization of this , — and the Inspector-General of ; that , and the Principal-in-Chief ,
bined of the element other—these s which are the the new separate regenerator , independent has , to and weld uncom into - one homogeneous united mass . Transports , stores , armaments , clothing weapons , , rations medical of food " fixings for / man ' works and , beast fortifications , each now , b ordered arracks , , controlled , and supplied by an independent petty monarch , must control be . " For unificated this task , " con Herculean solidated , and though put under it bewe one are supreme quite
confident that the new , Controller-in-Chief , is admirably efficiency adapted ; and and it economy is one , in , well its importance worthy of both so distinguished with regard an to administrator as Sir Henry Storks . "Nee Hero intersit nisi dignus vindice nodus . "
Our Friends The French.
OUR FRIENDS THE FRENCH .
The Twaddler Journeys To Paris ! Day I'M...
The Twaddler journeys to Paris ! day I ' M Journal perfectl of y well Satire aware . " M that any the ' s the " Tomahawk time that " I is ' ve a laug " Satur hed - heartily " quip " )— at the the quaint quaint " " qui qui p p , " "—( I repeat yes , I , of think talking I may about use the " Satur word - day Oh , satire it is so ! " funny Ha ! ! ha Hallo ! ha , what ! Ho am ! I ho about ! ho ! ! Laug He hing ! he at ! he my ! hawk own paper . You ! W get ell , so you frig see htfull what y satirical it is to belong that you to beg the in Toma even
to 4- / - » " p itch I « - ^ " « Ti into intn " " yourself irz-mvoolf ! You "VV \ n do f \ r \ indeed irirl / ao / 1 ! Like T ilr /» the fT"i £ » scorp CP «» rn ion ' rni you , & c , & c . ! satirist Well . now I , particularl let it be y clearl wish y understood this to be that clearl I y 'm understood a brilliant . Even when I ' m writing the most miserable of platitudes , let my and readers the most be pleasing sure that of I ' m drolleries thinki ? ig . the I can sharpest assure of them epigrams that
I'm awfully waggish , and if this doesn ' t come out all at once it of 's true only genius on account . Why of , they my natural tell me shyness that Boucicault , only the would bashfulness write very much better plays if he only would show a little more selfreliance ; and it is well known that Shakespeare But stop , cicault who will ? care " Hamlet to hear " is of Shakespeare very nice , but after you I've can spoken 't compare of Bou it
with about the Boucicaul "Flying t and Scud Shakespeare ! " There ! , all and that " I Hatnlet ' ve written " and above the "Flying Scud" is sarcasm . Isn ' t it good , and funny , and cault amusing 's friends ? And ? won Now ' t it if p I lease were Mr a . " Boucicault literary man and , " Mr that . Bouci ' s the - way I should set about making my enemies . Do you see how passage it ' s done — ? hair Hard turning up white for copy with — anxiety printer ' . s boy What waiting ' s to be in done the ?
Read One-third Daily twaddle l ^ elegraph two . -third Lempriere s advertisements , bad grammar . Soon and bathos dispose . of the Daily Telegraph , 1 Then turn to Morning Star . Dispose of that in a shorter time . " Rabid rot" —and that's done with . Dispose of the rest of the papers , and come to the contoo clusion ( earth that having there ' been s nothing disposed on earth of ) I to find write that about Heaven . Unhapp has been ily , swept away by Professor Becseley . So what am I to do then ?
The Twaddler Journeys To Paris ! Day I'M...
Why C . B ., , he nothing is always easier good . Out for I a bring quarter my of butts a column . First . , there Then is I Cole take , out I can dear 't make Martin him Farquhar good for Tupper two or , three and I paragrap must be hs very , and stu so pid on if , and so on , until I have exhausted my list . Of course / don ' t attach and do this say a , for if star the I to write Editor for last of the remark this Tomahawk paper and is very insert . And , very a here foot funny let note me , he to pause will the effect that what my I ' ve said is untrue , and that I'm " as bad as
the rest . " If he does this he will , be nearly as funny as Mr . think Mark of Lemon that , I and quite as funny as Mr . Tom Hood ! Only of Now what what I can I've do written in the shape above of I sarcasm consider , & merel c . Natural y a specimen ly you mencing ask me , or an unnaturall article headed y you " don Our t Friends ask me , the what French I mean , " with by com such - a farrago of nonsense ? And I answer you thus : " I'm just
of the my least subject bit nervous . You . see To ' tell Our you Friends the truth the French , I ' m not ' is quite a rather sure word hacknied I don top ' t ic know . And how I to want set to about be awfull the task y satirical . " You , see and I on mig my ht mi be g fri ht g pretend htfully funny that I had a"bout run not away pay from ing . my London hotel bill and , left & c . my I me Editor , & c in , to the the lurch end , of and the talk chapter about . g In igantic fact I cheques might laug owing h old to laug imag hter inary , and bells exhume until dead readers jokes fc thoroug , and caper hldisgusted and shake at my
performances ^^ - ^^ ^ b ^^ ' ^^ H ^ fe *^^^ W W ^ T ^ fe ^ - ^ bi , ^ h ^ a ^ sank ^ . ^ ^* ^ V ^ *^ my Bdfea graduall W ^ fe ^ B ^ *¦ V ^ b *^ ^ bj ^ y ^~ , M from ^ 0 ^ ^ ^ b ^ A ^^ . ^ the . ^ ¦ lp ^> ^* ¦¦• y J realms ^^^ ^ F ^ % ^ " ^ of ^ h ^ I ^ reality ^ ^ f ^^ my ^ 4 ^ V into the land of dreams . The last few words I've uttered is a " funny " way of saying " until my readers composed themselves to sleep . " But stay—as I've got to get to Paris , let me write . Boulogne . I was in Boulogne a few weeks ago , and of all the dismal
p dismal laces ! I There ever saw that in will my do life . I !— arrived well , never after a mind . h It ivas , rougvoyage , believe and was there received were b more y a solitary than thirty douane soldiers . Do in you the know place , I at don the 't time of my visit ! Of those thirty , of course ten would be of drummers the officers , fifteen in a officers wretched , and little the cafe rest * . privates From the . conversation I saw some
of a miserable gar con who waited upon me ( and who afterwards that robbed would me by have charg been ing dear me at about one six and shillings three-pence for ) a I de learned jeie '? icr that these officers had been playing at dominoes for , the last that three it hours was . their From intention a remark to let continue drop by the one ex of citing them diversion , I found for three hours longer ! Well—well—well—on my word , the
continue anecdote I my ' ve twaddling just related no to longer you has . so I affected dare say me , , at that no I very can distant date I shall have something to communicate about gods " The , does French not Literar understand y Man Eng , " a lish friend . Poor of mine fellow , who , how , thank should the he ? He only began to learn the language seriously about nine years ago !
What Is Manslaughter ?
WHAT IS MANSLAUGHTER ?
Notice As . We A Go Sick To Press Manhis...
notice As . we A go sick to press manhis the wife following and child outrage l conies for relief under at one our of our national charitable , Institutions , , with appy the following result . Let the subjoined paragraph speak for itself : " They went to St . Luke ' s Workhouse at half-past nine o ' clock in t They waiting he morning got the nothing , whole and at to day ten eat until o ' the cloc whole half k they -past time were seven . let When inside o ' clock they . in They were the were admitted evening kept .
house to the , and elieving they officers gave 6 , d . the and latter a loaf said of that bread there . Witness was no said room that in 6 the d . gentlema was no use n , then and deceased took back said the that 6 d . he and would gav not e is leave . When the house leaving . The the workhouse the man at the gate almost pushed deceased out . " Within six and thirty hours of their being " almost pushed } out of the house , the father died . There are other circumthis shall stances scandal allude of a hereafter , brutal and ask character . what For is the aggravating to moment be said it this of is a enoug case legislation , h to to which gibbet , that we provides sities like protection these ? for brute animals and glozes over monstro-
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Jan. 25, 1868, page 37, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_25011868/page/5/
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