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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 25th July 1868, Edition 1 of 1, Page 37, July 35, 1868.3 THE TOM AH A WK. 37

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  • Departments (2)
    • " THE B URNHAM SCR UBS R. V. C"
    • THE BOOR BLAYERS!
  • Text (5)
  • Transcript

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      July 35, 1868.3 The Tom Ah A Wk. 37

      July 35 , 1868 . 3 THE TOM AH A WK . 37

      " The B Urnham Scr Ubs R. V. C"

      " THE B URNHAM SCR UBS R . V . C "

      Chapter I.—Concerning The " Formation Of...

      Chapter I . —Concerning the " Formation of the Corps " good One deal moment too warm please to be —it funny ' s far . too If I hot am to neither be satirical one nor , and the a weather other , pray . If don you ' t don blame ' t laug Tomahawk h at a line of , but what put is shortl it down y to follow to the , what thank an your exertion stars and it is be even exceeding to smile ly a glad faint : grin you with can ' t the imag ther ine - muzzled mometer doggie at a hundred at two ff * hundred and VM something . and M 14 V « something VW * in the else shade in the and sun h / poor

      —IHII / J ^ lv ^ ^*^ feS ^ ** W V V J . *«^ B . * V < b * « aVV «* lg X * " - > - * W *** . VAA ^ o v » a * you for the can cold ' t indeed weather . Forg and ive the me return , then of , if my I wit am . tedious But there , and , that hope 's enoug my preface h , I ' m , take already a look bored at with the | my subject introduction before me : so , and I throw dive off in medias res . Splash , dash , splutter—I rise to the surface , and here I am . Rum dum—de dum—dumDudder—dudder 44 —dudd ' er dum

      A /^^ 4 HA UUllfc V »^^ ^* V »*** UMAlM . * ^ V ** - * V *^^*» VUV ( VVA ^* % * iW * . ** ^*> *•»• - . »** dum . There , that ' s meant for the beginning of "See the Conquering audience Hero Comes to receive . " You in oug a ht always irit to that prepare which the minds intend of your to set before them . On the proper present sp occasion I wish you the minds of awe my audience —a mysterious to become terror impregnated —for the minds with a of species my audience of gloomy are about f ^ f ^^ j H V to V ^^ be m ^^^ fc startled * ***¦*•¦ ^*^»^* b w ^ y j the »**>^^ * revelation . ^* v « if * t > ww * ^^** of - ^^ a ww fact * s » v ^* « r v absolutel »»^ m # v ^ *» w ^^» y f teeming w ^ y w »»»* ft

      with Now majestic for the grandeur shock ! ! I am a Volunteer ! iece Have of you information quite recovered . Band , ? . please Well , p then lay a , now couple for of the bars second from the p National Anthem . Amiable Readers , kindly consent to cheer a little , and then I will make the second announcement . Now then

      • LY W ¥ V dltVtllt . . ( Band . " Dum dumdum de dudder dum , & c , ! " Amiable Readers Thank . Hurrah that ! will Hurrah do ! . ' . ' ) Not onl you y , am I a Volunteer , but I am a Lieutenant of Volunteers ! !! ( Stage Directions for the Public . —The rest of the National Anthe ? n from the Band and thunders of

      applause fro ?? i the Amiable Readers !) Perhaps my Amiable Readers ( the Band of course has left a repeat immediately Lieutenant , my Amiable after of Volunteers play Readers ing the . may National wish well to Anthem learn then how those )—perhaps I became of , I Amiable Readers who do wish to Very learn will , kindl , continue this my y chapter Vrf AAt- % 1 ^ W ^ ' * to VV the V »*^^ end W **»» J , when W # * v ** they W *»^* w will v V ***• hear a A % *«¦*>* all VV 44 , t about ^ K / ^^ V * « t * it W ; those v ***^*>*^* of ^^ *

      my be Amiable Amiable , will Readers kindly who consent don't wish to give to up learn being , having Readers ceased also to . Grand division ! { All the A ? niable Readers but one desert . ) For the sake of the one Amiable Reader who has remained Amiable staunch to Readers me , I will who continue have so my basel narrative deserted . As me for all the I will ex-, y , by condescen moonlig d h to t a , l ay one unto , and them then is this you s hall Meet hear me w at ha Billingsgate t I think of you !" Cockloft is a great friend of mineIt was if Cockloft who first

      " ^•^ ^ 0 ^ 0 * m *^^» v * W » -V >^ ^* «»*» w ** *^***^ r « i ^^* i ****** ^* . «*¦ v v « M >^^**^ ** , *^^* w v * **^^ «««>< b ••* « r suggested to me the idea of forming a Rifle Corps . I went to his Office office and one receive day ( s he . £ 220 belongs a- to from the Lucifer Government Match in Reg considera istration - tion of , reading the Times newspaper year daily from ten to , four ) , and found him ( as usual ) revelling in " B and S " and Manilla to cheroots say , . busy To for my him extreme ) , and surprise he responded he seemed to to my be busy greeting ( that of 's ' words ' Hallo : , old fellow ' , " with the following take-away-one's-breathable

      " I Smyth stood still , my and boy answered , come and not be a a syllable Volunteer . . " " Do con , that tinued ' s a sweet excited fellow ly , ! If you will I will give you a up commission with red . —awfull Awfull y y handsome jolly uniform - —you —green will look and silver no end turned of a swell Burnham . Do Scrubs say yes is ; that absolutel ' s a sweet y yelling fellow for . defenders I can assure . Surel you y you will blood not allo rushed w the to Scrubs chee to cry ks and vain I !" exclaimed enthusiastically— my , " If what you tell me is really true , you may count upon my

      influences assistance . me Perish , but if the Burnem thought Tubs that the " offer of a commission " Burnham Scrubs " put in Cockloft . want " If a Burnham clear steady Scrubs eye , " and said a I good , correcting strong myself arm to , " defend really does her , bear I am if the I did man not to do rush it . like I should an avalanche be unworthy to her of rescue the name . Yes I , patriotism Cockloft , believe This me is , I am artificial not without feeling I know —I am but not still devoid in of

      heart jja ** tiiwiiQuii _ of hearts ^ fl . j . 1110 I 13 can an an find ^ A ai iiii ^ \< a place ^ age " -g ^ - for ^ H ¦»¦ lvuu the ^ w j , worshi lsui otixi A p of n the my xuj ^ Beautiful commission and ) an the invading True 1 force Show in me Burnham ( when I Scrubs have received , and believe my me sence I of will the take same the to very the authorities first opportunity at the of War reporting Office . " the pregrasp " I ing knew my hand I mig and ht rel shaking y upon it warml you , " y . exclaimed Cockloft , " "To And whose now , " ?" said I , " how many belong to * Ours ? '" '

      " To ' Ours . ' How many Scrubs ' have we V " we " Well 've got , " said one Cockloft captain , looking ( that ' s me down ) , eig at hteen a paper lieutenants before him ( in- , their cluding rank you , and ) , twelve only sergeants kept in check ( more from or less open discontented mutiny by with the matter consideration ) , and twenty that a -four major corporals ' s uniform ( all is of an them extremel in the y band expensive ) . " " Is that all ? " I asked . left " Oh out »• dear one , no of the ; how mo silly st important I am ! " said men Cockloft in our ; " regiment wh VWt & y , I have 4 —I

      - »*¦•«¦ «* ^^ * » v- **> w v » « r . a . * v * **& % S Wb ***»| -r V ^ A . > A **^*** , *** V ^ VI . * . * . . J *^ A . mean the private . " number " Hum of ! " the I coughed officers doubtfull is a little y . out " Don of ' t proportion you think with that the the strength of the rank and file ?" going " Not to at make all , " such replied silly Cockloft observations , rather as angril that y , ; my " if dear you boy are , ' affair affair you'd as as better a a farce farce say , at and and once g jrive ive that it it up ud you . . The The intend more more to officers officers treat the we w ^ whole have havp .

      the better our private , will be drilled . Doesn ' t that stand to , reason ?" I meekly assented . think " I have we had been better talking commence to our drill operations -sergeant by , and holding he a seem supper s to . the After ^ . m . *^* p k ^ AV latoon that -w ^ X ^*^** , he V exercise ^» hints ^* V ^ i ^ JV" . we *" might be able to commence mastering

      means " Oh , " , said let the I . ran " We k and can file keep learn him the going platoon on at exercise that until by all he is furnished with the Government rifie . " the " To spirit be of sure the , " thing replied I " Cockloft . " I see , you quite enter into lack " I a trust faithful , " said son I while , gravely I stand , " that sword Burnham in hand Scrubs beside will her never . I hold it to be the duty 4 UVU of 1 WWiJ every , citizen to defend , his country ** from ^^*»* mentioned the w «* W hoof **^^^^ A * of ^* the «>**^ # ruthless invader IUVUUW 1 with Vf & WIA his l & U life Jl *« K «« . By 4 JV ~ - bllV the-bye U V W » ,

      know you , but " something about a uniform—not that I want to " it " ' s Oh all , make silver your lace and mind spurs easy . on But that say you score will , " rep come lied to Cockloft the sup- , per— I am going to introduce the officers to the rank and file . fellows The private will be has there promised . Don to t disappoint be present , us and . " most of our other officer " I certainly to know will the men not , — " or said rather I j " , in I deem this case it the , the duty ? na ? i of —of every his regiment . I went intimatel and next y . week You may sha rel ll y have upon a full . " account of what happened , at the supper . you ( To be co ? itin ? ted . )

      The Boor Blayers!

      THE BOOR BLAYERS !

      That Carnival Of Vulgarity And Vice, Y'C...

      THAT carnival of vulgarity and vice , y'clept the li Royal namele erted Dramatic b ss y ) , a Revels was man this ager " ( in year whom spite a dead of posterity some failure questionable , we trust ! On , will a influence par allow with to the ex be - disgusting evidently emanating " entertainment ( to judge (????) from " specified its contents was ) a from common the back rag , slums of Grub street , called with humour the " Royal Dramatic College Annual . " We trust we have heard the last of an alike " entertainment disgraceful (? to ? \ the ?) " promoters and a " publication and supporters (! ! ! . !) " which are

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), July 25, 1868, page 37, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_25071868/page/9/