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AN EPISODE IN A HISTORY . Part I . — The Lesson . In March 1832 , I , Francis Harwell , being then twenty years of age , and a student at the University of Glasgow , formed a magnanimous resolution to regenerate the world . Out of the three million three hundred thousand and thirty-three plans for accomplishing the world's regeneration , I chose that of publishing a small periodical of which I was to be sole proprietor and editor , and which was to be sold to all and sundry for the sum of twopence a number .
My means for carrying out this great undertaking were rather limited . Of the main requisite—money —I had little enough ; and as , in order the more to startle men , I had communicated my scheme only to one or two brother students who were as poor or poorer than myself , I was cheerfully prepared to take all the risk as I expected all the glory . But indeed I did not consider there was any risk in the matter . I had
the most perfect conviction that the appearance of my periodical would work an immediate revolution in society , and that there would be such a demand for copies that the printer would find a difficulty in supplying them . In this , I suppose I was guilty of no more crime or folly than enthusiasm , a crime and a folly which I have often committed since and been punished accordingly .
As I was about to astonish , not only Glasgow , but Scotland , I thought I could not select a better title for my periodical than that of the Magician . The week in which the first number appeared was the busiest of my life . My brain and my body were in a complete fever of action . Over me hovered inspiringly the radiant form of the renown which was soon to be mine . I wrote , I corrected proofs , I was in and out of the printing-office twenty times a day . The Magician with its mysterious Latin motto was to come before the Glasgow public on the Saturday . All Friday night , from sunset to dawn , I remained beside the printers . "When the first sheet was taken
from the press , and I saw in hving type my own sublime imaginings , my revelations in prose and my prophecies in poetry , my rapture was indescribable . I felt myself for the moment a conqueror and a king . How divine it was for me to think that two thousand copies of the Magician with its Latin motto were to be that morning in the hands of the Glasgow citizens . Most unfortunately the Glasgow citizens are fond of salt herrings to their breakfast , and are not much given to idealisms . My Magician therefore produced no magical effect on them . Of the two thousand printed only three hundred were sold , and very likely the three hundred purchasers thought that they had ill bestowed their twopences .
Nothing discouraged by the fate of the first number , I determined to publish a second . With pertinacious unteachableness I ordered as many copies tobeprinted of the second number as of the first . But Magician number two , Bold still worse than Magician number one , though I strove to make it still more brilliant and attructivc . This want of success scarcely depressed me , for I was firmly convinced that tho merits of the Magician must force themselves soon on the public attention , even if they remained unknown for a week or two . I have no doubt that I should
have continued for many months to publish a pcriodicul which nobody bought , if the printer had not told me that before lie did any more work for me , ho must bo paid for that which lie had already done . This was perplexing . I thought him a sordid wretch , but I diaduined to reason with him . I saw clearly enough , however , that my grand ocheme must he abandoned and its realization postponed to sonic more fortunate time . I had now only to consider the means of puying the printer and coining honestly
out of a thing on which 1 had entered rashly . 1 had none to whom 1 could apply but my father , and as lie httd already complained of my frequent demands for money during the session , I shrank with horror from asking £ 20 more , the sum necessary to pay tin printer ' s bill . Hut as I knew ihat there was no other door of escape open to me from what I regarded um infamy , I at length Hat down and wrote a long find penitent letter , detailing my rmbunu ^ sinentu and their causes , and promiainir amendment if relieved
too proud , too sensitive , had too keen a sense of honour to think of exposing myself to the importunities of a dunning printer . My wisest plan would have been to go like a prodigal to my father ' s house , and throw myself on his mercy . But I dismissed such a notion after entertaining it for a moment . I then thought , that as I seemed very unfit for this world I had better make my exit into another . But I was young , clung to life , felt within me a fund of energies which I had not the courage to bury by one decisive stroke in the grave , dreaded the curse that
by my father ' s kindness from my difficulty . My father was not a harsh man , was besides being a noble-hearted , rather an indulgent man , but he was far from being rich , and whatever money he possessed , he had gathered together by hard and incessant toil . Besides he could not help looking on me as an egregious and incorrigible fool ; I had no reason , therefore , to be astonished or angry , when he replied with becoming brevity that I must get out of the entanglement into which my indiscretions had led me , in the best way I could . This drove me to despair . I was
rests on the suicide ' s name , and recollected , as I have done in other temptations as terrible , that I had a mother . At length , after much and painful pondering , I resolved to go to Edinburgh and there turn either player or soldier , I did not quite decide which . I have never been dilatory , so I at once proceeded to carry my resolution into effect . I had only a few shillings remaining—not enough to pay for a place in the coach—I , therefore , was content to travel in a humbler fashion . I took a steerage passage in one of the canal boats , which at that time conveyed , and
perhaps do still convey , the poorer classes of travellers between the two great cities . The passage was long , tedious , and dismal . The rain fell in a deluge , without stopping for an instant . My companions , however , seemed merry enough ; they smoked and they joked , they drank and they sang . Some of them made good-natured attempts to render me merry , too . But this was in vain ; the more their joy abounded , the more tragic did I feel my sorrow to be . After nine or ten hours' confinement to the wretched den , where all kinds of smoke and
all kinds of drunken smells half stifled me , I was glad enough to escape from it and its inmates . I had not to hesitate a moment on getting out ; for I had made up my mind that there was something contemptible in the profession of a player . It was a relief to me that , though I was about to do what I very much disliked , I had at least determined to do something . I asked my way to the Cavalry barracks , and trudged on through the mud and rain . I met a beggar , who told me that he had recently lost all his family by the cholera . My pocket was light enough ;
I had nothing but a shilling—I gave him that . As I entered the gate of the barracks , I knew that I was treading a region of degradation and bestiality , foreign to the dreams and aspirations I had from my childhood indulged . Jliut there was a deed to be done , and with a manful air I did it—though , perhaps , the glooih of a rainy twilight made me in greater haste than I should otherwise have been . I found then , that on the 3 rd of April , 1832 , I had enlisted into a regiment of Light Dragoons . A recruit is always an object of kindness and attention to the
other soldiers . He is for a time a novelty ; they are drawn toward him by natural companionship—they wish him to think well of his new trade . Resides , on the whole , soldiers , especially in cavalry regiments , are much better fellows than they are usually represented . That evening then , was , in spite of the many anxieties that oppressed ine , rather a pleasant one . There was a charm merely in the newness of the circumstance ; there was something in knowing that I was now no longer lonely ; and it was not to be despised by one so hungry , wet , and tired , that there wus a good supper to eat und a good bed to lie down in . Next day took place the beginning of my regular
transformation into a soldier . I was at that time somewhat of a dandy , and had on a hundbOino suit of clothes . Jack Saunders , a young , good-looking , frank-Neeming Englishman , told me that he could sell them and my hat to advantage I took a prodigious liking to Jack for his obliging offer . As soon , therefore , an 1 had been provided with my military outfit , 1 handed over my civilian clothes and hat to Jack to dispose of as he thought proper . Some hours after , Jack informed me that he had sold them for ten shillings , which however , he always forgot to pay me . Alter a week or two , Jack grew exceedingly cool to me , though doubtless his friendship would
have revived , if he had discovered that I had again become fat enough to be worth the plucking . When lounging about the barracks the day after my enlistment , a puppy of an officer , two or three years younger than myself , drawlingly asked me if I had been a weaver before bec / bming a soldier ? This question I was silly enough to be angry at , and . bore the creature a grudge ever after . The same day , a young woman , the wife of one of the soldiers , seeing me at a loss for something to do , asked me to fetch a bucket of water . This was rather a descent from the dignity of the Magician ; but I cheerfully enough
complied , always glad to be obliging . I was sworn in before an Edinburgh magistrate , who bored me with some twaddle about serving faithfully my king and country . I had seen George the Fourth in Edinburgh ten years before , and had conceived somewhat of a disgust at kings . The first fortnight of my military life had a kind of charm about it which I could not resist , notwithstanding painful recollections and still more painful forebodings . I was delighted to renew my acquaintance with glorious old Edinburgh , though I could not help remembering that it
was as a happy , innocent boy , and holding my kind father ' s hand , that I had formerly trod itfi streets . I was no less delighted to acquire a knowledge of manners so new and strange as those with which I was nightly and daily brought into contact . Besides , as the regiment was under orders to march , I had till we left Edinburgh , no heavier duty than making my own bed and cleaning my own boots , in both of which operations I never arrived at any very remarkable dexterity . About the middle of April the regiment set out on its march . I and the other recruits
were appointed to guard the baggage , armed with no other weapons than unloaded carbines , and provided with no other horses than our legs . Just as we were quitting Edinburgh , a gentleman , whom I had formerly known at Glasgow , passed me , but did not seem to recognize me . Our journey was a merry one ; nobody attacked the baggage , or put to the proof our unloaded carbines . Two troops , one of them , that to which I belonged , were ordered to Hamilton , the rest of the regiment going to Glasgow . When we arrived at Hamilton my duties began in right earnest . I had to rise at half-past five , and
help in my turn to clean out the stable . I had to devote two hours every day , one in the morning , the other in the evening , to my horse , scrubbing him , feeding him , and keeping his stall in order . I had to preserve his accoutrements and my own arms and clothes in spotless and perpetual brightness . I had to go to drill twice a-day , and to the riding-school once or twice . There were sundry other occupations , some of which came regularly and some occasionally . Altogether , from the time I rose till the time I went to bed , I had scarcely a moment that I could call my own . I should have rejoiced in all this hard work if
L . had been able to stand it . But I had been very tenderly brought up , and both from constitution , and frpm never . having had any severer labour than handling an oar now and then , I was as ill-fitted as & man could be for any new ; employment . I began to grow weak from the combined effects of cough , of rheumatism , and of over-fatigue . Yet I was not disposed to yield childishly . One day , however , in the riding-school , I got such a severe fall from my horse that I was obliged to be carried to tho hospital . I continued in the hospital a week or two . My abode there did not prove so miserable as I had
expected . We had some capitul story-tellers , especially an Irishman , who was the greatest liar and tho most amusing person I have ever met . The old soldier also , who had tho care of the hospital , sometimes lent us books and newspapers . Wo likewise held _ conversations occasionally with some of tho Hamilton folks , who lived in houses which overlooked the hospital grounds ; and tender-hearted women among them threw books to us now and then over the barrack walls . Still there was enough , in addition to our own bodily Bufferings , to make u » gloomy , in seeing wounds dresned , and in lying a few feet , sometimes only a few inches , from tho dy ing
and the dead . During the first night that I spent in tho hospital a man died in the same ward in which I was . These and other annoyances I might have thought little about , if I had been well and moving actively about , but in my present state I recalled tho magnificent phantasies in which I had revelled from my boyhood , und my present life Becmctl a mockery and an infamy in tragic contrast with them all . Ah soon , therefore , us I recovered , I linked and obtained leave of absence for two days , my purpose being to go to my father ' s houHe and persuade my parent « to purchiiHt ) my discharge . I ought to say that nil thi » time , I had never written to them , as 1 dreaded to tell thorn the truth .
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We should do our utmost to encourage the Beautiful , for the Useful encourages itself . — Gokthe .
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66 « PH « ZLeantv . jaatama ,
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Citation
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Leader (1850-1860), Jan. 18, 1851, page 66, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/l/issues/vm2-ncseproduct1866/page/18/
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