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    ' I liave met with afflictions this year , which have pressed upon me . The death of my mother , which happened on the 21 st Dec . 1780 , was a source of real and exquisite sorrow , at the beginning of this year . My removal from my affectionate Worcester friends has been as much as my spirits could bear . 1

    The vexations and disappointments I have met with here , and . es _ p . e £ ialLy ^ in _ aJew ^ tion , has been a source of unutterable grief . I am sometimes ready to think , that "I am the man that hath seen affliction , " and that no sorrow is like unto mine ; and yet all is too little to wean me from sin , and from the world , and to bring my heart to God /

    From this time to the year 1789 , Mr . Belsham was earnestly engaged in the-performance of his duties as Tutor and Pastor , and in the examination of the Scripture doctrine concerning the Father , and the Son , and the Holy Spirit . The result is well linown . The following are extracts from his Diary . * Sunday evening , Peb . ] . •—The most important week of my life has

    now elapsed . Having become an Unitarian , I hope after the most diligent impartial investigation , I have thought it my duty to resign the Academy . I hope I have acted on right principles , and that I have not , in a cowardly manner , deserted my post before I was properly relieved . I have many very anxious thoughts ; but I desire to refer all to God . '

    'Sunday evening , March 29 , —My intention to resjgn Daventry is now quite public . The reflection at times is very oppressive ; but I see no reason to repent . All at present is darkness and uncertainty , but I will trust in God . My friends encourage me , but I do not see what can be done . ' Towards the close of the year 1789 , Mr . Belsham removed to Hackney , as one o ( the Tutors oF the New College . This

    connexion , though it was the means of ultimately bringing him into the sphere of his greatest usefulness , and into the scene of his greatest happiness , where nothing impeded the full influence of his enlarged and liberal opinions , was throughout its continuance a cause of trouble and perplexity . And taking place immediately upon his change of opinions , prevented his so soon , as he otherwise might have done , attaining the strong assurance of his enlightened and benevolent faith .

    ' I enter upon the present year ( 1798 ) with prospects more dark and gloomy than ever , It is plain the College cannot be supported on the present plan ; and what will become of me . when the Institution is dissolved , 1 know not . ' * O my God ! I know not what to do , but my eyes are up unto thec . I pant after peace and quiet retirement , a few friends , and moderate competency ; but thou art pleased to deny my fond inclinations . I do not arraign thy proceedings ; thou knowest what is best . Thou knowest all the folly of my heart : thou knowest what further discipline is necessary to eradicate all foolish habits and affections , and to

    Untitled Article

    132 DIARY OF THE HEV . T . BELSHAM .

• Citation
  • Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), May 1, 1833, page 132, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2613/page/4/