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Untitled Article
to make haste was uncalled for , every foot of ground was a mile as I panted over it . On stating my case , which I did with a confused , palpitating , and half-strangled utterance , the man of the shop first grinned at me in derision . I looked at him bewilderedly ; he told me to c be off , ' but I remained staring at him , rivetted to the spot , while he advanced to the desk and resumed his writing ; presently he turned his
sneering visage , on me and said , without discontinuing his labour , ' You have discovered a nice way of pocketing six and eight-pence ; ' this unchained my tongue . I called him c cheat , villain , rogue ! ' and he coolly reached down a horsewhip , and cracked it across the counter , with * Come , sir , be off , or I'll flog yau out of my shop . ' Flog me ! flog me ! I would not have stirred from the place if my flesh had been cut in
strips from my bones ! But my uncle had followed me , and he came in during the flourishes of the whip . ' What ' s this ? what ' s this V My uncle was a respectable man , so was the stamp-seller , and the courtesy of dialogue between two respectable men ensued , without reference to the feelings of the poor boy . He had no right to feelings . The respectable stamp-seller asked my uncle , 4 if the boy were
honest ? ' On this I uttered a shriek of rage and agony , which suspended the talk for a moment . My uncle laid his hand on my shoulder , and bade me go home . * I will not go ; ' and I stamped with fury , 4 till that fellow has done me right ! ' Go home , I'll see to this . * ' Does that look like honesty or guilt , sir ? ' said the respectable stamp-seller . I spat up into his face as he stood behind the counter , and my uncle put me forcibly out of the shop .
I reeled blindly and mechanically through the streets , for there was a thick mist before my eyes , and arrived at the counting-house . My uncle returned soon , and , without casting a look at me , sat down to his books . I stood staring at him for some minutes , gasping with pain and grief ; then rushed up to him , and looked within an inch of his face , as I said , in a tone of deep , swelling , and intense energy , ' Do you
think I am a cheat , sir ? ' Without a wink of the eye , or a disturbed muscle on his face , he replied , * Go to your business ; ' and my heart became a ball of ashes . The word , No , '—for it was * no * he thought —might have changed my destiny , and saved me from years of misery . Were he now living he , perhaps , would have no recollection of this circumstance , except , possibly , that I showed some audacity at that time . To him it was a trifle , and to all who were then aware of the fact it
was a trifle . Perhaps not one of them remembers it . To me it was of moment , it was a life-indexing event , it burst open the channels in which my future rugged , precipitous , alternately impetuous and leaping , or dull and stagnant streams of existence were to flow . That same evening the stamp-seller came to my uncle to say he had
discovered his mistake , and he paid the six and eight-pence ; he did not think it necessary to speak to me ; or to make the smallest comment in reference to such an humble nobody as I was . It was a matter which concerned none but him and my master . I learned it from other sources , my uncle never spoke to me on the subject . He might have chained me to him in affection and love . I should have striven
to anticipate every wish of his ; duty and obedience would have become indulgences of pleasure and delight , if he had condescended to explanatory consolation ; but I was nothing , nobody ; and from that hour
Untitled Article
Autobiography of Pel . Verjuice . 399
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Citation
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Monthly Repository (1806-1838) and Unitarian Chronicle (1832-1833), June 2, 1833, page 399, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/mruc/issues/vm2-ncseproduct2616/page/39/
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