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Jakuary 18, 3845. THE . ^oaJHJL-R-N. . S...
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*l?**«*m
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MTTIiE FOOlS AXD CHEAT OSES. BT CHARLES ...
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OTTR HOME AND TATHEK1AXD. Come, £11 your...
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Mehishig-
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CQNIXGSBT; or, THE mW GENERATION. Br B. ...
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SIMMONDS' COLONIAL MAGAZINE. January. Wi...
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COLBURN'S NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE. January....
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THE O'DONOGHUE ; a Tale of Ireland Fifty...
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THE EDINBURGH TALES. Conducted by Mrs. J...
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THE PRESTONIAN PLAN. Wilkinson and-Co., ...
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THE VALUE OF BIOGRAPHY IN THE FORMATION ...
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THE MEDICAL TIMES ALMANACK FOR 1845. Thi...
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THE GAZETTE OF VARIETY. Par-t X.-Cleave,...
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A BOWL OF "PUNCH, " FRESH BREWED
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THE PADPER'iS SONG. Houseless, ftimish <...
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PLAYERS IN PALACES. People know that the...
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mute.
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A Pretty • Thought.—A coquette is a rose...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
Jakuary 18, 3845. The . ^Oajhjl-R-N. . S...
Jakuary 18 , 3845 . THE ^ oaJHJL-R-N . . STAR . 3
*L?**«*M
* l ?**«* m
Mttiie Fools Axd Cheat Oses. Bt Charles ...
MTTIiE FOOlS AXD CHEAT OSES . BT CHARLES HACKAT . jy-jien at the social board yon si ^ and pass around the wine , Sancnibcr , though abuse is vile , that use may bo divine That Heaven , in loudness , gave the grape to cheer both . teat and sinall ; fha tBttle fools will drink too much , hut great ones not atalL £ „ a when in youth ' s too fleetin-j hours , you roam the earth alone , ^ nd have not sought some loving heart that you may make your own—-gemember woman ' s priceless worth , and thiikwhen pleasures pan , jnat little & o ! s will lore too much , hut great ones not at
Ajid if a friend deceived you once , absolve poor human loud , Jjar rail against your fellow mm with malice in your mind ; J 3 ut in vour daijy intercourse , remember , lest you fall , Tha tlittfefoolS confide too mush , hut great ones not at alh jo weal or woe , he trustful still , and in the deepest care Be bold and resolute , and shun the coward foe , despair ; jjet work and hope go hand in hand , and know , whate ' er befall , That little fools may hope too much , bnt great ones not at all . In work or pleasure , love or drink , your rule he still the same : tour work not toil , your pleasure pure , your love a stead y flame ; four drink not maddening , but to cheer , so shall your joy not pall , For little fools enjoy too much , out great ones not at all .
Ottr Home And Tathek1axd. Come, £11 Your...
OTTR HOME AND TATHEK 1 AXD . Come , £ 11 your glass , and let it pass , To hail the dawning year ; Come , drink with me ; my toast shall b&—Onr Albion ever dear . And wait a wee , we yet shall see Bright freedom take her stand ; And proudly brave , her banner wave O'er home and fatherland ! O'er home and fatherland , ve brave .
Onr joyous pledge shall be . Hurrah I hurrah I hurrah to those "Who dare for liberty I Tho' tyrant kings—those meaner things—The scum and scorn of earth , Seek to enslave the patriot brave : ' 'Tis hut to try their worth . Thrice noble he , whoe ' er he he , "Who firmly takes his stand ; And dares to fight , and boldly smite , Tor home ami fatherland 1
Tot home and fatherland , 4 c . To the good and true , the uohle crew , "Who follow freedom ' s train ; TVho equal laws—the poor man ' s cause—TVfll ever dare maintain ; TvTio jeers and jibes , and threats and bribes , Nor e ' en the tyrant ' s ban , ¦ Will ever move to aught , save love Por home and fatherland I Por home and fatherland , & c .
" Who steadfast hold , despite of gold , The equal rights of man , Shall honoured be , for ay , by me , Despite of tyrant ' s ban . But ever spurn the craven worm , And scorn the dastard hand , THio slave would he , nor strike to free Our home and fatherland ! Our home and fatherland , ye brave ! -Well give it three times three . Hurrah « hurrah ! hurrah to those TTho dare for liberty ! As Exglishwojiah
Mehishig-
Mehishig-
Cqnixgsbt; Or, The Mw Generation. Br B. ...
CQNIXGSBT ; or , THE mW GENERATION . Br B . © 'Israeli , Esq ., M . P . London : Colburn , Great Marlborongh-strcet . ( Continued from ths Northern Star of January YlUiJ " 0 , foronehom ' of George Canning ! " exclaimed ihc Hon . George Sydney Smytbe , attkc Manchester Atlienamra soiree ; and a similar wisb would seem to be cherished by the author of Coningshy , judging by Ms emnmendations ofthe defunct" statesman" ( 1 ) . Such a wish coming from the lipsof a young man like Mr . Smythe , who , notwithstanding his acknowledged talents , is too young to know anything of the
realities of Canning ' s statesmanship , is excusable . Sir . Smttiie is , we fancy , pretty extensively read in the histoiy of other countries , and is not unacquainted with that ol'his own relating to the events of by-gone times . But it is not often that young men think of studying the history of that period immediately preceding their own existence , or in which their childhood ' has been passed . And this must be the case with Mr . Smtthe ; otherwise he would never have indulged in the wish for the return of Canning ' s statesmanship . Utter ignorance of the character of the man he so lavishly landed can he his only excuse for so ridiculous a performance .
But even this excuse cannot be advanced for Mr . D'Isiiasli . Though the head of " Young England , " less old enough to remember at least something of Canning ' s doinsrs . He had , too , the advantage of imbibing instraetion from that greatest of political teachers of the last fif ty years , William Cobbeit , which advantage his mora youthful coadjutors have not had . With tlie facts of Canning ' s statesmanship before his eyes twenty years ago , and the lessons of flic ** 'Monarch of thel ' ivjss" criticising all that then occurred , we arc at a loss how to frame , or admit of , an excuse for Mr . D'Israelt when he joins in the chorus of homage to the memory of a man who was , in his day , the worst enemy of liberty—the bitterest Opponent of the proijress of popular freedom .
Mr . © 'Israeli and his friends have voluntarily come forward as the teachers , guides , and leaders of the " Sew Generation . " They were notsolieited to take such a task upon themselves . They took to it , assuming to be better qualified for the labour than the parties previously daiming the ear of the public . They denounce all otherparties—Whig , Tory , Radical , and Chartist .. All else are wrong—themselves right . If so , they at least should be as perfect in their historical and political knowledge as the parties they repudiate . If not , the public may fairly demur
iothe proposition to abandon their old " guides for flu * leadership of tlie ¦¦ new lights . " As regards Canning and Canning's statesmanship , the Toung-Englanders are " all in the wrong . " If they are ignorant of the deceased jester ' s political career , they are but sorry teachers when they praise such a man : and if not ignorant , they , _ witk their eyes open , identify themselves with his atrocious politics , and they array themselves against , instead of on , the side of the people of England , whose relentless and unscrupulous enemy Canning ever was . Facts shall prove the truth of our " assertion .
To begin at flic beginning : while he ( Canning ) was yet a young man , he commenced his political career by editing a newspaper , called the Anti-Jacobin iapaper bepraiscd by the liberal Weekly Cluronicle a ew months back ); which newspaper uas set up and lupported ty the 2 > uUie monqi ! As editor ofthe Anti Jacolin , Canning supported every measure of Pin and his gang , no matter how despotic , denouncing as foes of society all who were opposed to Pin ' s atrocities . He also , as a public writer and a member of Parliament , daringly defended every suspension ^ of the Habeas CbrpusAct—cveiy measure for fettering the press , and for inflicting the worst punishments On political offenders .
Soon after he became a member of Parhament , « e gait himself a tincture plate , winch he held to theday of his death , and for which sinecure place he received , £ 17 , 000 of the public money . For thirty years he filled hhrh and lucrative situations in the public service : being at one time Under Secretary of ffcrte ; at another , Paymaster of the Forces ; at ttofher , Secretary of " State for Foreign Affairs ; atWiother , President of the Board of Controul for InJjaAiTJ : ^ : :-. t another , Ambassador to Portugal ; Bvai .. > u , r , r . ^ nin Secretary of State for Foreign A'hirj ; aud iassly , First Lord of the Treasury , and n , z :. ; i' ] : « T of ike Exchecmcr ; the emoluments of *• " i ; li t » lKi-3 s w oriid amount to not less than one
nuns' • -.:. !• . ;' . '? ' thousandpoioids ! Add to this t : * f •< - ;? " Lc made by his ambassadorship to Portu-: ;¦ -:. ral jjii . . ^ uia £ jtal ( irrespectiveofhissinecuTe ) will i : ¦ <& -iS \\\ - \ Tl on .-hundred and fifty thousand pounds ! I- ^ iii vh ' cL h meanly pat his two sisters on the "¦ : !< .-:: fi ii > i . :-iy . * .-sd of keeping them himself , who Mi tjjt-ir > ~ - . rx- f the public plunder not less than : . } i . t-osid y . -mu > * . And lastly , he had a son , v ';• .- ; . ' V . ' ujam Frrr Canning , a * naval officer , and - ¦ •"• -- 'iGJitly : fi = e a public plunderer : and all this :-j « iuwas v . Ttii- ^ Iiom the toil and robbedfrom the - ir ' -r ^ ji the p ; -opk \ f- ? . } iii 5 t « : r , this man involved , or aided to in"; - - '• ' ^ country in difficulties and miseries pre-• : ' --Tr : rrair : 7 ii' ? d . Abroad he mainly contributed i- . i' - h .- * . l * . in : r . ;> pnieLes to embroil this countrv Lu
^; i . ; : ' \ ii : tf * l States Government , thus causing .: L ¦ : vth-sn war , which ended with the battle «; i - - - ' .- : « n * . after disgraces , naval as well as milil , v ~ , ih-. nailiaii ' . ig to the people of England ; f ? -- i - ' the addition of seventy millions sterling :.: ; \ A caused by that war . And in Spain , Pisiiiifal . . u C yniU America , the most distressing eviis . i ; - ; . oi ; i . inhabitants of these countries and the poc :.:, . - „ s wre the fruits ( mainly ) of hh incompetence . 1 home , he defended the corruption ofthe llouie o \ Conmions : denouncing the Reformers as *« a £ degraded crew , " and thevr endeavours torcM that house " a , Jkinotratiealencroadmeut * rbSthe adjured the precious members * to nwli « ^ % aa : nst In 1817 , he impudently defendedthe " lv ^ Jflinprisonment Bills" brought
Cqnixgsbt; Or, The Mw Generation. Br B. ...
m by Sidmouth and Castlekeagh , which authorised juuusters to seize any man that thev micht suspect of treasonable practices : to take hun ^ without producing any evidence against bun-without letting hini know his accuser or telling him of any particular act that he was accused of—to send him , without anv commitment stating the precise nature of his offence , to any gaol , m any part ofthe kingdom—to keep him in a solitary dungeon , without the use of pen , ink , or paper , and cut off from all communication with wife , parents , children , or friends . In 1818 , when some of these unfortunate men had found the means of petitioning the Parliament , and of representing the sufferings of their bodies and tho anguish of their minds , this Canning turned their complaints into jest , and particularly the conmlaint of a most worth v
and aged man of Manchester , who bad been totally mined m his business , and who complained of a dia . order brought upon him by the violence of those who had seized Lini and imprisoned him , and whose truly-horrifying statement he answered bv a jest , in I ^ rT 5 ? 4 £ 5 SS ? Ji Petitioner "the ItEVERED AND RUPTURED OGDEN ; " thereby , as the newspaper report of the debate stated , exciting m the house ' a Imul and general roar of laughur . " In 1819 , he defended , more daringly than anv other man , the conduct ot the infernal Manchester magistrates , and Manchester yeomanrv , for then butchery of the people at Peterloo . In * the same year he supported and defended the accursed Six Acts , which were intended forthe total extinguishment of every vestige of freedom in this country . In 1820 , he openly defended the employment of
spies , and particularly the employing of . the hellish miscreant Edwabds , the entrapper of poor Thistlewood and Ws Mows . In 1816 , 1819 , 1 S 29 , 1824 , and 1826 , he was guilty of the most foolish , if not the most wicked of doings , in his tamperings ( in conjunction with Peel and others ) with the currencv , by which thousands were reduced to beggarv , and from the evil effects of which the nation up to this hour has not recovered . In denouncing and waging war against the Press , he declared he would " extinguish the accursed torch of discord for ever . " And lastly , when he had achieved the summit of his ambition , and become Prime Minister of England , supported by a crew of recreant Whigs and apostate politicians , he concluded his infamous career by making the following insolent declaration on the 4 th of May , 1827—within a few iveeks of his death— " I wile orrosx PAREiAMESTAnY Refohm , in
WHATEVER SHAPE IT MAT AFPEAB , TO THE EAST HOCK OF MT LIFE EJ THIS HOHSE !" Such , Messrs . D'Ishaeli and Smvtiie , were the doings , —but too briefly sketched , —of youk model statesman ! What we have charged to his account are facts ; and "Pacts are chiels that winna ding , An' downa be disputed " Last week we thanked the author of Coningshy for unveiling the atrocities of the Sidmouths and Casteereaghs : but justice demands that their
participant in crime , Casnixg , should share the infamy attached to their names . Besides , however unthankful may be the task of disturbing the " hevered and nupicREn" ashes of the heartless jester , it is due to the people that we do not allow Mr . D'Israeli and his friends to impose on them , under the cover of a generous sentimentality—the infernal policy of Cansing . It may be , as we have above intimated , the Young Englanders may know no better ; but if they are so green , it does not follow that we should allow them to mislead the "New Generation . " ( To be continued ^
Simmonds' Colonial Magazine. January. Wi...
SIMMONDS' COLONIAL MAGAZINE . January . With the commencement of a new year wc have the commencement of a new volume of this useful and entertaining publication . The present number contains nothing demanding comment , beyond tlie mere fact that its contents are generally acceptable . The principal articles are on "The Agriculture of Hindostan ; " "Australia : Past , Present , and Future ; " " A Journal of a "Voyage to Port Phillip ;" " The Climate of North America ; " " Condition and Prospects of Van Dieman ' s Land ; " "New Brunswick , " « L-c „ There are also lighter articles , which will be found not devoid of attraction . From "Our Note Boole" we extract a wonderful account of an elk hunt in tlie United States , in tlie year 1 S 18 . The hunters
were rivals-John Dougherty , a Kentuckian , who is still alive and residing in Clay county , Missouri ; and a half-breed , called Mai Bozuf ( Bad Beef ) . Thev were stationed at one of the ports of the Missouri Fur Company ; their business was to provide venison for the company's servants . Card-playing on the day previous to the ran—at which the half-breed had been defeated—excited more than usual rivalry in the breasts of the two runners . A herd of elk were discovered ; when , instead of killing them with their guns , the half-breed challenged the Kentuckian to run down the elk and kill them with their knives . The challenge was accepted , then . ' guns were hung in a tree , and raising the Lidian yell to frighten the animals , the run commenced .
Off they went acrosi a low prairie a few miles in width , leaving their pursuers far behind ; hut steadily the latter continued their pace nevertheless . They reached the hluff—ascended—crossed—descended—one resolve uppermost iu their minds , " never to say fail . " League after league the chase and the race continued—the men panting like hounds , cooling then- mouths in crossing an occasional "branch" hy throwing up tha water with their palms , hut still unpausing , until , approaching Elk Horn river-, a . distance of twenty utiles , by mutual agreement they took a circuit with an increase of speed , got ahead of tlie elk , and actually prevented them from crossing , Leagues and leagues , upon a new track , the chase continued , the animals by this time so exhausted by heat ,
thirst , and , above all , fright , —for the hunters had incessantly sent forth their yells , in this case as much a scream of mutual defiance as an artifice of the chase , —that they scarcely exceeded their pursuers in speed ; the latter , foaming and maddened with excitement , redoubled their efforts , until the elk , reaching a prairie pound , or " sink , " the hunters at their heels , plunged despairingly in , lay down , and abandoned themselves , heedless of idl else , to the gratification of their thirst . The frantic rivals , knife in hand , dashed in after their prey , began tlie work of slaughter , paused not until they had butchered sixteen , dragged them from the water , and cut up and prepared the meat for transportation to the fort , whither they had to return for horses . Had tlie race ended ? Xo ! For
victory or death was tlie inward determination , and as yet neither had given way . Off dashed again the indomitable half-breed , and at his side the unyielding Kentuckian . Rise and hollow , stream and timber—no yelling now—in desperate silence were left behind . The sun was sinking —blind , staggering , on they went—they reached the fort , haggard , wild , and voiceless , as from the fires ' of the savage , the " gauntlet" of fiends . A crowd gathered round the exhausted men , who had arrived together , and now lay fainting , still side hy side , a long time before they were enabled , by signs and whispers , to tell that they had run down sixteen elk , and yet couldn't say wluch was the best man ! This feat brought upon D an affection of the lungs , nor did he recover his strength for several years . He is still alive , a quiet and influential citizen . Jlal Bceuf became very dissipated , aud died in a short time . Our informant tells us that he has made an examination of the country forming their race-track himself , and that they , without exaggeration , must have run seventy-fiee miles between the hours of eigbt a . m . and seven p . sr .
We learn from an article on the islands in Bass ' s Straits ( near Van Dieman's Land ) , that the last remnant ofthe aborigines of Van Dieman ' s Land are located on one of these , called Flinder ' s Maud . The race is rapidly approaching extinction , as they now number hut about fifty ; and though well provided for , and composed of equal numbers of both sexes , —not a single birth has occurred for three or four years . This is attributed to their pining for Van Dieman ' s Land , the home of their birth .
Colburn's New Monthly Magazine. January....
COLBURN'S NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE . January . It is unnecessary to trouble our readers with comment on this popular magazine : its name alone being an Introduction aU-sufficicnt . From "Sketches of Zurbano and Arivaneta , by one who knew them both , " we take the following highly-interesting account of Zurbano and his son : —The latter , our readers will be aware , was lately bratally murdered by order of the butcher Nakvaez ; the former still lives , and is in aUtprobability destined to punish the fiendish murderer of his children . Zurbano is no favourite of ours , for he is no democrat ; on the contrary , he has been —as thctool of Espartero—the persecutor of democrats ; still , with all hisfaults , we cannot hut wish him safe from the snares of his remorseless enemy Narvaez ; not omitting to add to that wish , that the opportunity may yet be afforded to him of avenging himself and his country on the person of that prince of assassins , for whom a day of retribution is surely coming .
ZUBIUNO AND HIS SON . To judge from his ( Zurbano ' s ) appearance ( 1830 ) , he was about forty-five years of age , perhaps rather more , hut in activity and strength I should say he was full ten years younger . I have rarely seen a man who gave me more the idea of one capable of undergoing great fatigue and hardship . He was rather sliortin stature , about five feet seven inches , I think ; but being somewhat roundshouldered , he appeared Jess than that . In person he was spare , no superfluous flesh about him , but an abundance of bone and sinew . The prevailing character of his thee , wiicb was much tanned and weatherbeaten , was one of indomitable resolution . His eyes , which were grey and deep set , overhung by bushy and projecting brows ,
had a quick , intelligent expression , and at times , when he was not ia any way excited , almost a thoughtful one , but when roused—in action , for instance—they gleamed fiercely . His lips were thin and usually compressed , and certain lines about the mouth gave rather a cruel expression to his face , but his smile was frank , and by no means disagreeable . He wore no heard , save a soldier ' s whisker to the bottom of the ear . His usual , I may say his invariable , costume , consisted of a zutnara , or loose jacket of black sheepskin , a scarlet l » i » o , o « Basgue cap , such as the Carlists wore , with a large starlike gold tassel spreading over the top , blue or red overalls , heavy boots , and long , jingling , Spanish spurs . His neck was usually bare ; his gloves must liave been a
Colburn's New Monthly Magazine. January....
very trifling expense to him ¦ hie cavalry sabre was slang to a halt of common black leather . He had a most unbounded contempt for what he seemed to consider the fopperies of uniform , aud always preferred the unmilitary , but hy no means unpicturesque , dress above described—probably the very same he had worn when a contratadista . Subsequently to this , when he had attained far greater celebrity than at the time I speak of , and had ascended step hy step , and in spite of jealousy and disfavour , to tlie command of a brigade , it was intimated to him by the general of the division to which he belonged , that it was desirable he should conform to the regulations ofthe service , and appear updn parade in the uniform of his rank . I had left Spain before that period , but I have since had described to me , what I can well imagine , the ludicrous annoyance and discomfiture
of Zurbano , at being compelled to abandon his usual neglige garb , and don the cocked-hat and feather , and the tightly-buttoned coat , with cuffs and collar stiffened by embroidery , of a Spanish general ' s costume . The son of Zurbano was as remarkablein his way as his father . When I first saw him , he was not sixteen years old , puny and diminutive for his age , with a little , pale , sickly-looking face , very red lips , largo dark eyes , and voice like a woman iu a passion , always upon the scream . How it was that so delicate-looking an urchin managed to support tlie hardships of a guerilla life , I cannot explain ; but I suppose it was his pluck and energy that carried him through . Girt with a sword nearly as long as himself , carrying a light lance , and perched upon a tall horse that would have made a good charger for a man of twelve stone weight , he used to gallop about at the head of his father ' s
cavalry , then consisting of some five and twenty badly equipped and mounted lancers , chiefly deserters from the Cariists . He was already a cornet in the Spanish service , and U 6 l sharing his father ' s contempt for dress , he used to come out on fete days , and other grand occasions , in a most dapper uniform , with a broad silver band down the side of his overalls , a closely fitting green jacket , aud foraging cap of fanciful device . At such times he put me in mind of one of the smartly painted wooden soldiers , used as toys for children—not that he by any means played at soldiering—it was right down earnest with him ; and one of his father ' s officers assured me , that young Zurbano had already diminished the numbers of Don Carlos's army , by no less than eleven men . If this be true , I do not suppose he had slain them all in single com . hat—probably the majority were fugitives that he had
overtaken and killed—but nevertheless , he was skilful in the use of his weapons and management of his horse , and possessed more muscular strength than his delicate appearance indicated . He was a bloodthirsty young imp . I recollect one day , after a skirmish , we had driven th e Carlists out of a village in Alava , and I found myself pursuing a fellow who was scampering in great haste across a field . I was close to him , when up came Zurbano , swearing most lustily , in his squealing tones , his lance down , and preparing to give the poor devil his quietus , by means of a vigorous "front point . " I was just in time to turn his lance aside , and then I thought he would have made a poke at me , he seemed so bent on sticking somebody . I prevailed upon him , hoivever , to spare the unlucky Carlist , aud he took him back as a prisoner , driving him before him , and occasionally stimulating his progress by
a prick with Ins lance point . Young Martin , as they used to call him , though his name was Benito , was nominally in command of his father ' s cavalry ; but as he would inevitably have ) led them to destruction had they been left entirely to his guidance , he had adjoined to him as a mentor one llecolaldi , a very smart , gallant fellow , who subsequently lost his arm in action . It would be difficult to name any officer or partisan who did so much real damage to the enemy , and was so uniformly successful in Ids undertaking , as Zurbano , during tlie whole period of the Carlist struggle . He united all the qualities essential to success in a war of that description ; great personal bravery and presence of mind , a knowledge of the country in which he acted , and considerable skill in obtaining information and devising stratagems . The Carlists , who dreaded him more
than any other Christino chief , never considered themselves safe while he was within twenty or thirty leagues of them . He would accomplish forced marches of a length that appeared almost fabulous ; and in an extraordinary short time fall upon and exterminate some detachment of the enemy , capture a valuable convoy , or lddnap an officer of rank . * * # He was very careless of the honours which Spanish military men usually prize ; refused decorations that were offered to him , and never wore the galones , or lace stripes upon the coat ciuT , that mark the rank of field-officers in Spain . The terror with which Zurbano inspired the Carlists was only to be equalled by | their detestation of him . " El infame Barea , " as they used to call him , would have met but skimp measure of mercy had he fallen into their hands . # # # To a man of Zurbano ' s impetuous character and active habits , illness was of course a dreaded calamity . Once at Vittoria he had an attack of a painful " malady , and while it lasted I went two or three times to see him . He was obliged to keep
his bed , and used to lie cursing and swearing " at no allowance , " and grinding his teeth , not so much with the suffering he endured , as with impatience at being compolled to remain idle , instead of mounting his horse , and sallying forth aperseguir los faccincs . I do not think he was ever comfortable except when he was rampaging about the country with his little band of desperadoes , seeking whom he might devour . His " A ellos ! " or "At them !" When he caught a view of the Carlists , was as hearty and as inspiriting as the sound of a trumpet . And off he would go , always the first , spurring his Andalusian , and waring his heavy sabre , while the Carlists would sing out , "X > emomo . ' Sarca . '" and run like mad . He was always eager to get to close quarters—ahvays for a charge In preference to the long short work which some of the Spanish are so fond of . He used to get off his horse , put himself at the head of his infantry , and dash up to the assaidt of a parapet or position without wasting a cartridge . He got his share of wounds , but exposing lumself as he did , it is wonderful ho lasted the war out .
The O'Donoghue ; A Tale Of Ireland Fifty...
THE O'DONOGHUE ; a Tale of Ireland Fifty Years Ago . By IIakuy Lohrequer , No . I , Orr and Co . This new work of Mr . Lever ' s promises to rival the best of its predecessor . ? . The author ' s description of the valley of Glenfleck is truly and beautifully poetical ; and there is no lack of that humour which , illumines all Mr . Lever ' s previous productions . We have no room this week for comment or lengthy extracts , but must confine ourselves to the two following tit bits : —
A SHEBEEN HOUSEWIFE ' S IDEAS OF IMPB 0 VEMENT . " And what ' s bringing them here at all V said Mrs . ITKclly , with a voice of some asperity ; for she foresaw no pleasant future in the fact of a resident great man , who would not he likely to give any encouragement to the branch of traffic her principal customers followed . " Soitow one of me knows , " was tlie sate reply of the individual addressed , who not being prepared with any view of the matter , save that founded on the great benefit to the country , preferred this answer to a more decisive one . " 'Tis to improve the property , they say , " interposed the other , who was not equally endowed with caution , "To look after the estate himself he has come . "
" Improve , indeed ! " echoed the hostess . " Much we want their improving ! Why didn't they leave us the ould families of the country ? It ' s little we used to hear of improving , when I was a child . God be good to us . —There was ould Miles O'Donoghue , the prescntman ' s father , I'd like to see wluit he'd say , if they talked to him about improvement . Aych ! sure I mind the time a hogshead of claret didn't do the fortnight . My father , rest his soul , used to go up to the house every Monday morning for orders ; aud ye'd see a string of cars following "him at the same time , with fay , and sugar , and wine . ' and brandy , and oranges , and lemons . Them was the raal improvements 5 " " 'Tis true for ye , ma ' am . It was a fine house , I always heerd tell . "
" Forty . six in the kitchen , besides about fourteen colleens and gossoons about the place ; the best of enthertainment up stairs and down . " "Musha ! that was grand . " " A keg of spirits , with a spigot , in the servants' hall , and no saying by your leave , but drink while ye could stand over it . " - " The Lord be good to us ! " piously ejaculated the twain . " The hams was boiled in sherry wine . " " Begorra , I wish I was a pig them times . " "Aud a pike daren't come up to table without an elegant pudding in his belly that cost five pounds !" " 'Tis the fish has their own luck always , " was the profound meditation at this piece of good fortune .
HUSH WAT OP EAISISC THE WIND . It was a little after Christmas last year that Mr . Malachi thought he'd go up to Dublin for a month or six weeks with tlie young ladies , just to show them , by way of ; for ye see , there's no dealing at all down here ; and he thought he'd bring them up , and see what could ho done . Musha ! but they're the hard stock to get rid of ! and somehow they don't improve hy holding them over . And as there was levees , and drawing-rooms , and balls going on , sure it would go hard , buthe'dgetoffa pair of them anyhow . Well , it was an elegant scheme , if there was money to do it ; but devil a farthin' was to be had , high or low , beyond seventy pounds I gave for the two carriage horses and the yearlings that was out in the field , and sure that wouldn't do at all . He tried the tenants for
"the November , " hut what was tlie use of it , though he offered a receipt in full for ten shillings in the pound ?—when a lucky thought struck him . Troth , and it's what ye may call a grand thougbt too . He was walking about before tho door , flunking and ruminating how to raise the money , when he sees the sheep grazing on the lawn forniut him ; notthathe could sell one of them , for there was a strap of a bond or mortgage on them a year before . " Faix , " < says he , " when a man ' s hart ' , up for cash , he's often obliged to wear a mighty threadbare coat , and go cold enough in the winter season—and sure it ' s reason , sheep isn't better than Christians ; and begorra , " says he , " I'll
have the fleece off ye , if the weather was twice as cowld . Jfo sooner said than done . They were ordered into the haggard-yard the same evening , and , as sure as ye ' re there , they cut the wool off them three days after Christmas . Musha ! but it was a pitiful sight to see them turned out sluvcring and shaking , with the snow on the ground . And it didn't thrive with him ; for three died the first night . Well , when he seen what come of it , he had them all brought in again , and they gathered all the spare clothes and the ould rags in the house together , and dressed them up , at least the ones that were worst ; and such a set of craytures never was seen . One had an old petticoat on ; another a flannel waistcoat ; many could
The O'Donoghue ; A Tale Of Ireland Fifty...
only get a Cravat or a pair of gaiters ; but the ram beat all , for he was dressed in a pair of corduroy breeches , and an ould spencer of the master ' s ; and may I never live , if I didn't roll down full length oh the grass when I seen him .
The Edinburgh Tales. Conducted By Mrs. J...
THE EDINBURGH TALES . Conducted by Mrs . JoimsroxE . Tait ,. Edinburgh . Mrs . Johnstone is well known in the literary world as tlie author of Clan-Albyn , Elizabeth dc * Bruce , Knightt of the Round Table , and some of the host talcs and articles in Tail ' s Edinburgh Magazine . Several ofthe metropolitan critics of high standing have warmly lauded the productions of her pen : anything , therefore , designed for "the million , " by so talented a writer , must command attention . Judging by the first number of these Edinburgh Talcs , the title appears a misnomer , as the scene of the commencement of these Tales is laid in London ; but the title is a matter of but lttfle importance . These talcs commence with " The Experiences of Richard Taylor , Esq ., " whose portrait we will at once introduce to our readers : —
" THE GENTLEMAN WITH THE CMBBELLA , " There must be many persons in London , particularly in the busy neighbourhood extending from St . Paul ' s Churchyard to Charing-Cross . perfectly familiar with Mr . Richard Taylor . His burrow , or central point , was in some lane , small street , or alley , between Arundekstreot and Surreystairs , whence he daily revolved in an orbit of which no man could trace the eccentricity . Its extremities seemed to be Gray ' s Inn on the north , the Obelisk ou the south , the London Docks on the vulgar side , and Hyde Park Corner on the point of gentility . It was next to impossible , any day from eleven till two o'clock , between the years 1815 and 1832 , to walk from Pall-Mali to St . Paul ' s without once , if not oftener , encountering " The Gentleman with the Umbrella . " There he emerged from
Chancery-lane , and here he popped upon you from Templcl-ane ; you saw him glide down Norfolk-street , or lost si ght Of him an at once about Drury-lanc ; or beheld hhn holding on briskly , but without effort , along the Strand , till , about Charing-cross , he suddenly disappeared to start upon you , like a Will o' the Wisp , in some unexpected corner . Now was he seen in the Chancery Court —now sauntering towards Billingsgate Market — now at tho Stock Exchange , and again at the How-street office . He might , iu the same hour , be seen at the hustings in Palace-yard , and hovering on the outskirts of one of Orator Hunt ' s meetings , as far off as Spafields ; at a reasonable hour , in the gallery of the House of Commons , and next in Mr . Edward Irving ' s Chapel . The British Museum divided his favour with the great
butcher markets , and with the picture and book auctions , which he regularly frequented . The best idea may be formed ofthe movements of Mr , Richard Taylor from the ditt ' ereut notions formed of his character and calling . For the first five years of his sojourning in London many conjectures were formed concerning this "Gentleman about town , " or " The Gentleman with the Umbrella ; " by which descriptive appellation he came to be pretty generally known among the shopmen and clerks along his line oi quick-march . His costume and appearance , strange as the association seems , was half-military , half-Moravian . By many he was set dowu as a reporter for the daily prints —vulgarly a penny-a-liner ; a calling universally sneered at by those whose figments and marvels arc paid from twopence a line upwards . His-frequent attendance at
the police offices , aud iu tlie courts of law , favoured this conjecture , as well as his occasional appearance at places of public amusement . A sagacious tradesman in Cockspur-street , areformer , whohadbeeninvolvedin"the troubles" of the times of Hardy and Home Tooke , set him down as a half-pay officer , now a spy of the Home Office . A tavern-keeper in Fleet-street , who had seen him at the Bow-street Office voluntarily step forward to interpret for a poor Polish Jew , against whom law was going hard from ignorance of the Cockney dialect ofjthe English language , affirmed that he was a Polish refugee . But he had also been heard to interpret for an itinerant weather-glass seller from the Lake of Como , in a similar scrape ; and for a Turkish seaman who , having first been robbed , was next to be sent to prison for not consenting to he twice robbed—of Lis time aud his
moneyin prosecuting the thief . These things rather told in his favour . One day the editor of a well-known liberal paper was seen to stop " The Gentleman with tlie Umbrella , " and carry him into a great bookseller ' s shop ; and on another he was discovered in a hackney coach with some benevolent Quakers from America , who had been looking on the seamy side of civilization in Newgate . Here was corroboration of good character . Of " The Gentleman with the Umbrella , " we may tell farther , that his sister-in-law , Mrs . James Taylor , the wife of the rich solicitor in Brunswick-square , affectionately named him among her friends , " our excellent and unfortunate brother , Mr . Richard ; " her husband familarly , " our poor Dick : " a young Templar , studying German , quaintly called him " Mephistopliiles ; " and Mary Anne Moir , his god-daughter , emphatically . " Tlie Good Genius . "
For the interesting particulars of the life of the " Gentleman with tlie Umbrella , " and also the commencement of his " experiences" under the title of "Young Mrs . Roberts , Three Christmas Dinners , " we must refer our readers to the work , itself . The price of the Tales , sixteen pages octavo , neatly printed , is but three halfpence ; the work is therefore within tho reach of all classes .
The Prestonian Plan. Wilkinson And-Co., ...
THE PRESTONIAN PLAN . Wilkinson and-Co ., Tysoe-strcct , Spafields . . This is a pamphlet by Thomas Pbeston , a veteran Radical , who for upwards of half a century has been known in the political world , the steady advocate of those changes which , yet unaccomplished , arc nevertheless Hearing the hour of their advent . Thomas Prestox is now an old man ; and probably weary of the strife for political reforms , would fain , ere'ho departs , see the social results ho has aimed at achieved by other means ; political reform being in the meantime unattainable . The object is a good one ; and a man whose whole life testifies to his sincerity deserves to have his view , ? listened to , however Utopian they may seem to some , or impracticable they may appear to others . Mr . Preston entitles his scheme a " Plan for renovating the public prosperity , insuring advantageous employment to all industrious persons of both sex . es ; the comfortable maintenance of the aged , the sick ,
the orphan , and the widow ; the increase of agriculture and trade ; the education of the young ; the abrogation of all poor-rates , taxes , and the national debt ; and the gradual resumption ofthe lands of the United Kingdom , as the inalienable property of tfic nation , without injury to a single individual . " Such is the ample list of contents set forth on the title page . As we cannot afford room to discuss the important points therein mooted , we decline stating our objections to the scheme , unaccompanied by tlie reasons on which those objections are founded . The work is of that nature that no quotation could do it justice . The whole must be read to understand and appreciate the views ofthe author . Though dissenting from the plan , we , nevertheless , would recommend its perusal by the Chartist body As it may , he considered the legacy of a veteran Reformer , who has at least tried to "leave the world better than he found it , " it may fairly claim the consideration ofthe "New Generation . * ''
Besides , it strikes us that , was there among the Chartists a return to that healthy system of discussion , which was one of the prime features of Chartism at the commencement of tho agitation , it woidd be well for the progress of the movement . Single-hearted , quietthinking , but plain out-spoken men , then communed together ; and if there was less of studied rhetoric , there was more of energetic action . The lecturing system hits failed to achieve tlie expectations originally entertained of it . A lecturer lectures in one town , and has a meeting to listen to him ; but ten miles off there is no lecturer , and therefore there is no meeting . It was not so in the days of 1837-S . Then men met , whether they had lecturers or not ; and the topics of the day formed subjects for the homely
eloquence of those , who , if they knew nothing of rhetoric , knew , at any rate , how to call a spade , a spade . There is another evil of the lecturing system . Used to be tickled with the clever speeches of a variety of lecturers , tlie public ear palls at the efforts of—it may be not extra- eloquent ;—local orators . Men grow nice , and a " good speech" is the thing most in demand . If this be not supplied , apathy takes the place of action . "Wc object not to the present lecturers : wc would that there were more of them ; but wc would not have the movement depend wholly on their exertions . We would he glad to see a revival of the discussion system , when such works as the one under notice might be questioned and analysed . The subjects mooted by Mr . Preston are ofthe most vital
interest to mankind : let his scheme of remedies therefore be investigated . If proved erroneous , better remedies may suggest themselves to tlie minds of the investigators . As we apprehend Mr . Preston will find more difficulty than he seems to anticipate in the forming oi an association to cany out his views , we would suggest to him the propriety of sending his plan to associations already in existence . For instance , Prince Albert is . the head of an association of some sortwc forget what—for "the improvement of the dwellings of the labouring classes . " Tlie Prince would be a convert worth catchin ! r . Again , there is a society
for tlie "Protection of Native Industry , " patronised , we believe , by some of the peerage and squirearchy : let the plan be laid before them . Again , Sir James Graham , as tho head of the Homo Department , is supposed to be tlie " guardian genius" ofthe people ' s welfare ; he should , therefore , be acquainted with Mr . Pkestos ' s plan . A former Home Secretary , the saintly SiDMOcTir , was much addicted to prying into the supposed plans of Mr . Preston and liis compatriots ; we would have Sir James follow this example . Mr . Preston ' s pamphlet will be more fitting employment for his prying propensities than Mr . Mazzini ' s letters .
The Value Of Biography In The Formation ...
THE VALUE OF BIOGRAPHY IN THE FORMATION OF INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER , Illustrated nv tue Life and Writings of C . R . Pemberton . By G . J . IIolyoake . — "Watson , Paui ' salley , Paternoster-row . A pleasing subject , pleasingly and profitably discoursed of . All that tends to make the character of Pemberton known and appreciated , is of no small service to the cause of human progress . Mr . Watson has therefore done well in publishing this little tract .
The Value Of Biography In The Formation ...
THE MOVEMENT . Vol . L—Cr . J . Holtoake , 40 , Ilorywell-strect , Strand . The first volume of-this opponent of priestcraft , and champion of free-discussion , is completed , and will make a very handsome addition to the'library of the tVee-tliuikcv . It will do more ; it will , add to his stock of intellectual weapons with which to fight the battle for truth and freedom against the feinds of superstition aud tyranny . The Mowing is an extract from the preface : — It will he frosh in the recollection of our subscribers , how the local authorities , and the Attorney Generate of England and Scotland sought to suppress the Oracle of Reason . They were determined it should not be published , but its conductors thought differently . It is true the editors went into . prison—but then tlieir work came out—aud for onee ( the cages . ire solitary ) right baffled
might . At the commencement of the . Movement ( it being pledged to tread in the Oracle ' s steps ) it was said that prosecutions of a more effective character would be renewed . But as the simple idea of perfect duty excludes that of fear , we issued our weekly number with the same nonchalance that we took our breakfast . It seemed so natural to express honest opinions , that in what way it could be wrong we could not conceive , and integrity appeared so useful that we would not . Thus we have no merit to claim , and no apologies to make—we have not written from bravado , but from simplicity , and wo ' havc known no policy but that of not knowing expediency . A fev ^ co ies of th fir st vo lum e , neatly bound , are , we understand , to be had of the publisher . We may remind those disposed to support the Movement , that the new volume commenced on the 1 st inst ., and affords a favourable-opportunity for them to commence their patronage .
The Medical Times Almanack For 1845. Thi...
THE MEDICAL TIMES ALMANACK FOR 1845 . This useful annual addition to the Medical Times contains , besides the usual matter of an almanack , directions for gardening operations for each mouth , law charges , allowances , & c . ; list of fire insurance and life assurance companies ; all the State , Church , and colonial officers ; public exhibitions ; a number of useful recipes ; and an immense mass of information connected with the medical profession .
The Gazette Of Variety. Par-T X.-Cleave,...
THE GAZETTE OF VARIETY . Par-t X .-Cleave , Shoe-lane , Fleet-street . An excellent collection of original and selected articles , comprising history , biography , romance , travel , & c . We notice some excellent things from the pen of Hood in the present part . We had cut out a specimen of the contents for reprint , but cannot find room .
A Bowl Of "Punch, " Fresh Brewed
A BOWL OF " PUNCH , " FRESH BREWED
The Padper'is Song. Houseless, Ftimish <...
THE PADPER ' iS SONG . Houseless , ftimish < 1 , desp ' rato man , A ragged wretch am I ! And how , and when , and where I can , I feed , and lodge , and lie . And I must to the Workhouse go , 7 f better may not he ; Ay , if , indeed ! The Workhouse ? No The Gaol—the Gaol for me . There shall I get the larger crust , The warmer house-room there ; And choose a prison since I must , I'll choose it for its fare . The Dog will snatch the biggest bone , So much the wiser he : Call me a Dog;—the name I'll own : — The Gaol—the Gaol for me .
"What , masters , am I not a Hound ? Have I a soul like you ?—You'd treat me better , I'll be bound , If ye hcliev'd it true . The Pauper than the very Thief You use in worse degree ; Keep to yourselves , then , your relief ;—The Gaol—the Gaol for me . The Felon's dress is soft to feel As that whicli shames the Poor ; The Convict eats as good a meal , But gets a little more . Pauper and Thief are much the same , For aught that I can see : Well , then ; what matter for the name ? The Gaol—the Gaol for me .
Players In Palaces. People Know That The...
PLAYERS IN PALACES . People know that the French , as a nation , admire and patronise fine actors ; and yet , from some strange perversity , there is a large party in France who can sco nothing to value in Louis Philippe . This is wrong . With the very highest opinion of the genius of French players , it is our conviction that the finest actor in France sits , or rather holds , on tho throne of that country . A short story in the Algeria supplies another illustration of this truth . Our readers arc probably aware that several Arab chiefs cam eavcr to France , really to grace the triumph of General Bugcaud—ostensibly to receive tho blessings of French civilization . A few days since , these Arabs were introduced to the King androyalfamily . 'LheAlgtrie , with delicious gravity , gives the following account of the comedy , in which Louis Philippe was the principal actor . His first speech ran as follows : —
" I am happy to see you round me—you who have fought under the eyes of my children . " And thereby obtained a portion of my parental love ! "I ihanh God for having chosen France amongst all other nations to replace in Algeria the ancient riders of the Arab population . " Tin ' s is the old thanksgiving with whicli conquerors have , for ages , blasphemed Heaven . Thoy invade a country ; shed torrents of blood ; burn and pillage ; enact every atrocity that can sink men to devils , and then—with the tint of carnage on their hands and plunder in their pockets—thank God for having chosen them to do the work of fiends !
I will endeavour to render the bonds of my rule light . I am desirous that you should regard us as friends sent to you ly Providence , iumeh than as conquerors . A somewhat difficult task this , for the Arabs to regard murder , fire , and robbery , as the inconveniences brought upon them by Providence , —and in no way whatever attributable to the restless rapacity , the love of mountebank glory , demonstrated hy the French nation ! " Regard us as friends , " says the King , " rather than as conquerors . " Imagine a Dick 'furpin , after he had eased a traveller of his watch and purse , and had , moreover , levelled liim in a ditch with tlie butt-end of his pistol—imagine tho highway man coolly observing to the prostrate sufferer , "Regard me as a friend sent to you , by Providence , rather than as a conqueror !" The royal comedian
continues—I will maintain your customs and your religion ; I Kill repair your mosques , and re-establish your schools . Wherefore , then , should Providence have sent French bayonets to Algeria , if only to support the Mahometan faith ? As—according to Louis Pliilippe—Heaven has " chosen France" to rule in Algeria , can it be only to give a new strength to Islamism ? Will the King of the French make a better Mussulman than the Emperor of Morocco ? Well—wo cannot answer . To tliis , however , the principal Arab chief replied , saying—Since we were to he conquered , we are proud to have the French for our masters , and to belong to so powerful and generous a nation . The same delicacy of sentiment has been expressed , in anticipation , by George Colman : — " Eels might be proud to lose their coat ,
If skinned by Mollt Dumpling ' s hand !" Since we were to be flayed—says the comic Chief , for a fine comedian he must be—what a proud thing for Algeria , that France had tho skinning of her ! The words that have dropped from the greatest throne in Europe will fall on the heads of our brethren of Algeria like a refreshing shower . This is as it should bo ; though wc fear , let tho shower bo as refreshing as it may , it will hardly remedy the mischief , hardly cure the agony , inflicted by former showers from the same regal elevation—wc mean the showers of bullets ! At the dinner , we learn that the King " served the Arabs with his own hand . " Just as , in Algeria , the French armv served Arab men , women , and children , with their own hands ; only , imfortunately , they had muskets or sabres in them .
And this , up to the present time , is the last comedy , farce , or burlesque—whatever the philosophy of the reader may deem it—enacted at the Tuileries . Homage to the Pheasants . — It must be gratifying to all lovers of game , and therefore true patriots —seeing how very intimately the venerable institutions of the country arc connected with the rigorous conservation of pheasants , hares , and partridges—to learn that the magistrates of Hampshire—of that county , made immortal by its hogs—have determined to enlarge the present gaols , or to build new ones , iii order to accommodate tho increasing number of poachers every day committed for trial . There is a benighted place in the East—wc know not whether the fact has ever reached the trembling ears of Exeter Uall—where hospitals are raised for the preservation ,
and in honour ot , the filthiest vermin . Now , England , who yearns to send her bibles to all such darkened places , docs not erect temples to the glorification of loathsome insects : O , no ! she is civuized , actively humanising : she is the wonder and the envy of surrounding nations , and therefore she builds prisons for the preservation of nothing less than haves , partridges , and p heasants ' . Punch on CnEss . -Thc following question has been sent to us , no doubt by mistake . It you have a check , what ought you to do with your pawn ? Thowh it is somewhat out of our way , we will give the best answer we can to this question . If you have a check , and the amount is sufhcicnt , release your pawn at once . Our correspondent , however , had better apply to some respectable pawnbroker .
Mute.
mute .
A Pretty • Thought.—A Coquette Is A Rose...
A Pretty Thought . —A coquette is a rose from which every lover plucks a leaf—the thorns are- reserved for her future husband . Mohal Axiom . —What a beautiful thing is a row cheek ! How great the contrast when the blush settles to the nose!—Great Gun . Yankee Desckii-tive . — A Yankee , speaking of a thunder shower , said , "The sky was black and dreary , murky and ominous clouds drove furiously from the west , and in fifteen minutes it rained like everlasting hooky . " Thrashing a Ghost !—At Handsworth , near Bhv mingham , a " shost ' has been so severely beaten . by half-a-dozcn sceptics , who wore lying , m wait for him , that lie is now laid up in a hospital . Cork for a Cold . —The following prescription has been taken from an old black letter-book , a . d . 1403 . Wc print it for the benefit of those medical antiquarians who are fond of tracing the progress of medicine : —
Putt your foette in hotte water , As higho as your thighes , "Wrappe your hcade up in Hannelle , As lowe as your eyoes . Take a quart of rum'd gruelle . When in bedde , as a close . With a number four dippc . —Punch . Well tallowe your noso . Degradation of a Yankee . —The " native " born son of a naturalised Irish citizen of New York , having been soundly flogged by his father , wcitt whimpering to his native companions— " It is not for the licking I care , but to be struck by one of them cussed foreigners—that ' s what I ' m mad at !"
Hours of Rest . —Archbishop Williams used to sleep only three hours out of the four-and-twenty . Scwcli and Cross's young man , when he went halfprice to the play , and wound up at the Cider-cellars , returning to take down the shutters at eight in the morning , never slept at all ; so that on such occasions as those ho beat the Archbishop hollow . "We Fly by Night . "—An unfortunate landlord , on going round to collect his rents , sent his servant forward to prepare the tenant for his visit . On reaching the house and finding his servant taknn » a survey , and apparently endeavouring to gain admit * tanccj "What's the matter ? " said ho ; "is the door bolted ? " " No , master , " was the reply , " but tho lodger is V—Great Gun .
The Advantage of being Intelligible . —During the French war , two Scotchwomen , on their way to church , were conversing about the success of tlie British arms ; when the one remarked to the other , that she believed one chief reason of their success was , that our soldiers always prayed to Heaven for ^ assistance before engaging in battle . Her companion replied— " But could not the French soldiers likewise pray ? " "Touts ! " interrupted the other , "bletnoi'in' bodies ! wha ' could understand thorn V A New Feature in Sir J . Graham ' s Medical Reform . —Everybody knows that , since be has been in office , the Secretary for the Home Department has greatly increased the number of " read , letter days " at the establishment in St . Martin ' s-lc-Grand ; but everybody does not know that Sir James Graham , in furtherance of his notions on the subject of medical reform , now submits every epistle in the " Deadletter Office , " to a rigid post mortem examination . — Great Gun .
Why ' s . —Why is the Polka likefiidia ale ? Because there are so many hops in it .- —When is tlie music of a party most like a ship in distress ? When it seta the pumps a going . —Why is Alderman Salomons a great luminary ? Because he lias eclipsed the Moon . Characteristic . —With a jest General Sir 0 . Napier , tlie conqueror of Scindc , is wont to win tho soldiers' hearts '; thus , when some insolent and silly young men persisted , insubordinate !}* , to ride violently through the camp and the bazaars , causing frequent accidents , he issued the . following order , bringing ridicule and fear at once to bear on tlie offenders . " Gentlemen as well as beggars , if they like , may ride to
the Devil when they get on horseback ; but neither gentlemen nor beggars have a right to send other people to the Devil , which will be the case if furious riding be allowed in the bazaar . The Major-general has placed a detachment of horse at the disposal of Captain Pope , who will arrest offenders and punish them , as far as the regulations permit . And Captain Pope is not empowered to let any one escape punishment , because , when orders have been repeated and are not obeyed , it is tune to enforce them ; without ; obedience any army becomes a mob , and a cantonment a bear garden ; the enforcement of obedience is like physic—not agreeable , but necessary . "
An American Description of a Teetotaller . —I once travelled through all the state of Maine with one of them ere chaps . He was as thin as a whippin post . His skin looked like a blown bladder after some of the air has leaked out , kinder wrinkled and rumpled like , and his eye as dim as a lamp that ' s livin on a short allowance of ilc . He put me m mind of a pair of kitchen tongs , all logs , shaft , and head , and no belly ; real gander-gutted looking crittur , as hollow as a bamboo walking-cane , and twice as yaller . He looked actually as if he had been picked off a rack at sea , and dragged through a gimlet-hole . He was a lawyer . Thinks I , the Lord a massy on your clients , you hungrv , half-starved looking crittur you ,
vou'll eat ' em up alive . You arc just the chap to strain at a gnat and swallow a camel , tank , shank , and flank , all at a gulp . How to tell the Day of the Week . —Ring for the cook to bring up the joint . If it is rather low cut , von may infer that it is Wednesday or Thursdayit' ifc ' is reduced to a state of hash , you may be certain it is Friday or Saturday . There can be no mistake about the Snndav , if the joint is produced smoking hot and entire , and followed up by a pic or a pudding . Another good plan is to refer to tlie state of your finances . Gold will tell you that it is just the beginning ; silver that it must be about the middle ; and coppcre , that you certainly have arrived at the terminus of tho week . —Punch .
Tom Diddin ' s Punning . —Tom , on one occasion , being a steward of the Drury Lane Theatrical Fund dinner , arrived very late on a miserable looking nag , whoso appearance called forth some remarks and merriment from those at the windows . " Gentlemen , " said he , on entering the room , " you mustn't judge of anything by its looks . That ' s the pony that playa the marblcliorse in Giovanni in London , and can get as much applause as anv of you— 'tis the celebrated horse Graph / . " " Graphy ! that ' s a strange name for a horse , Dibdin , " said sonic one . " Most appropriate , though , " said the punster : " when I made up my mind to buy a horse , I said , ' I'll M-o-graphy ' when I mounted him I was top-o-graphy , when I wanted him to canter I say ge-o-graphy , and when I wish him to stand still , and he won't , I say , ' But you au-to-graphy , ' and therefore I think Graphy is & very proper name . "
Turning Water into Wine—Miss Martincau , in one of her letters in the Athetuemn , treats ot " Mesmerised water . " She says , J ¦ ( a young girl ) , "being offered refreshment , chose some mesmerised water , a glass of which was on the tabic , propared for me ( Miss M . ) . It seemed to cxhilirate her , and she expressed great relish of tho "refreshment . " It struck us that we would try , another evening " , whether her mesmerist ' s will could affect her scase of taste . In her absence , we agreed that the water should be silently willed to be sherry the next night . To make the experiment as clear as possible , the water was first offered to her , and a little of it drunk as water . Then the rest was , while still Jn her hands , silently willed to bo sherry . She drank it oft—half a tumbler full — declared it very good ; but , presently , that it made her tipsy . What was it ? became
" Wine—white wine . " And she exceedingly merry and voluble , but refused to rise from hcr chair , or dance any more , or go down stairs , % she could not walk steady , and should fall and spoil her face , and moreover frighten them all below . " The Great Gun observes—This power of being able to " will" one liquid into another is most worthy of cultivation . Wc should like to cany it out with regard to our own Cape , at fifteen shillings a dozen , and " will" it into four guinea Madeira . We suppose this would be practicable . The old saving teaches us that ' -where there ' s a will there ' s a way ; " and , without doubt , our " will" woidd lead to ' the way . We would get very luxurious in our living . We would " will" penny . ginger-beer into champagne ; humble swipes into Burton ale - ^ and spring-water into tho finest Johannisbcrg . Every pump should become a Rhenish vineyard !
A Soulless Man . —Out West , a stump orator , wishing to describe his opponent as a soulless man , said : — " I have hoard some persons hold to the opinion , that just at the precise moment after one being dies , another is born ; and that the soul enters and animates the new-born name . Now I have made particular and extensive inquiries concerning my opponent thar , and I find that for some time previous to his nativity nobody died . Fellow citizens , you may draw the inference . " A Timely Repartee . — A soldier of Marshal Saxe's army being discovered in a theft , was condemned to be hanged . What he had stolen might be worth five shillings . The Marshal meeting him as he was being led to execution , said to him— "What a miserable fool you were to risk your life for five skii ^ gs I "General , " replied the soldier , "I have risked ' rt every day for nve ponce . " This repartee saved his life .
A Yankee Poet thus describes the excess of his devotion to his true love : — " I sing her praise in poetry ; For her at morn and eve , I cries whole pints of bitter tears , And vipes them oj ? with wy sleeve . " Books and Newsi-at-ehs . —In criticising a book , you are at liberty to remark upon cvr-y page . Ia criticising a newspaper you must look ;« . is general tone and character . An author may write only when the spirit moves him . An editor must write whether tlie spirit move him or not .
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), Jan. 18, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns2_18011845/page/3/
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