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' ' floc have punch! fere' hundred ^^ 31...
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•floctrp* THE SOKG OP THE GALLOWS! J3E8 ...
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PUNCH.—Part XLVI. Hie contents of this p...
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HAYMARKET THEATRE. TBIUMPBAST SUCCESS OF...
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gtriiniltur* anto iortimltutt.
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The Farmers Si-baki-vo Our.—At the late ...
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Fatal Accident.—An inquest was held on M...
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TELEGRAPHIC DESPATCHES TO "WINDSOR. Down...
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BANKRUPTS. (From Tuesday's Gazette, Apri...
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Hints to Spobtsmb-v.*-" The oldest of me...
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for a -toon 'ppet raasqBmffi ''toMoiE ' ...
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
' ' Floc Have Punch! Fere' Hundred ^^ 31...
_^^ ' 1845 ' THE NORTHERN STAR . 3 j ~ _^^^^^^^^^^ _""**^ _^** _** _" - iliM _" _--l T _*? _" _---- * _^*
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•Floctrp* The Sokg Op The Gallows! J3e8 ...
THE SOKG OP THE GALLOWS ! J 3 E 8 _^ ilSES _TOOTIED B _* f CAICBAFT AT THE OlD BAILEY . ) Brrahjjorrah ! hurrah ! from the rabble rout , Inth In their muck haunts , far 3 way ! here rfbere rises a rude and a riotous shout , Attl At we nev « of a holiday ! _fwUl llwUl be a hra " _- _* _"* " - _dghfi a very brave sight , Are A real tragedy , ¦ he _nuiTie mob wiU see , with a strange deUght , Afel _AfeUowcTearuredif _* . '
A And 'tis I shaU dance first in that dance of death , My music the screw aud hammer < _\ _WithadropandajerklTldomy work In that crowd-exciting drama ! the ; The ; win wing their way , like birds of prey , At ; At scent of the coming blood ; [• "ill i Will regard me with glee , as the devotee Dii -Diaofoldthehlessedrood ! Horr Hurrah ! I will yield the dainty corse Tl That shan feast that carrion crew , Aad And harden their hearts to play their parts , W Wliich else they never might do . In that dance of death I shall move the chief ,
My music the screw and hammer ; "With a drop and a jerk I'll do my work In that mortal melodrama 1 'lis 'lis law that win give the holiday , "fl "Whilst justice suppHes the actor ; The The scaffold ' s a stage , where , in every age , 1 Hasbeen shewn the malefactor . 'Iw 'IwUl glut society's black revenge , J And feed the demon that stiU * _Ih The offender has doomed to hang as a sign , . ' _Suggei-tii- _^ aonghtsoftR . ' Hurrah 1 how I'll dance in that dance of death
, My music the screw and hammer ; "With a drop and a jerk I'll do my work In that deep domestic drama ! Tl They'll bring me ont from my hiding-place , That the show may be complete ; Hi How my form wiU "be praised , as each limb is raised , "What a _wUd and stirring treat ! T The cut-throat and thief wiU hail me the chief Of their goodly company , A As 1 join the whUe , with a ghastly smile , Hurrah ! for the gallows tree 1 III dance the chief in that dance of death , My music the screw and hammer ; With a drop and a jerk III do my work In that favourite melodrama !
1 1 know there are some that will start at my name ; But away with the idle stricture" Vfhat ' s in a name V I am but the frame— - lis the judge that gives the picture ! A whole-length portrait , after life , "Which for ages , undisputed , Has been deemed very fine , when the subject , in line They have properly executed f llurrah ! then 111 dance in that dance of death , My music the screw and hammer ; With a drop and a jerk I'll do my work In that very popular drama !
How my valet wiU stand , with nimble hand , The last cravat to tie ; There'll be jest * and jeers , when he first appears In that breathless traged y ; The _hardeuu screech , the reckless laugh , The groan , thc oath , the scoff-How meet for the ears of a dying man , As they turn the poor wretch off 3 Tis a very fine dance that dance of death , Fine music the screw aud hammer :
A drop and a jerk , and hurrah for fhe work 2 Ilark _] hark ! to the maddening clamour ! Ah they bring him out , so mint and pale , The hero ofthe crowd , How his cheeks wiU flush when the shout and haU Uprises long and Iond 1 Bach last fond thought of pardoning Heaven At ihe countless gaze wUl flee ; Wrecked every consolation given In the storm of thai hnman sea . ' Hurrah ! how 111 dance in that dance of death
My music the screw and hammer ; With a drop and a jerk 111 do my work In that much-applauded drama ! 'Tis thus that the sufferer win die ; But how different 'twould be Bid he yield to death his parting breath In a solemn company ! Within the walls , aU sUent brought , With calm and hoping mind , Sought to disturb the dying thought , But manly and resigned ! -Twould be no more the dance of death To the sound of the screw and hammer ; Though a drop and a jerk would do their work In that sad and solemn drama .
Thc sufferer would see bat serious men , Fraught with life ' s sympathies , With soothing words npon iheir tongues , And pit ; in their eyes . Brutality might lose its jeer , The mob might lose their show ; Bnt the tale of penitence sincere A lesson would bestow ! But no . ' there must stiU be the _danfe of death , To the sound ofthe screw and hammer , _StUl a drop and a jerk must do their work In that very favourite drama . And would you the force of example know i What moral that scene will grant ! A pocket they'd pick , ' ere a handkerchief At that tragedy they'd want , lucre better to try the silent plan ; Better work , transport , and Bog ,
Tot the worst thing the law can do with a man Is to hang him like a dog ! But , hurrah ! I shaB still dance the dance of death My music the screw and hammer ; With a drop and a jerk still do my work , And dose the last act ofthe drama ! Great Gun .
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Punch.—Part Xlvi. Hie Contents Of This P...
PUNCH . —Part XLVI . Hie contents of this part are , as usual , first-rate . Peel , in the character of " Sir Joseph Bowley , " welcoming his children to a feast of the good things contained in his amended tariff , such as beef , wood , fustic , bces ' -was , whale ' s fins , & c , is an excellent portjait of _Dicker ' s "Friend and Father of the Poor . " * nie "Ori _^ nquestion" Badnurablyhandled ixxi the duetto between Feel and Polk , Uncle Sam will do well to copy into his own journals , for the ¦ gratification of his particularly " smart" and " go-ahead" children . But the gem ofthe present part , in the way of illustration , is the * ' MaynoofJi Grant . " King Das lias been blowing his wkd-instrument to be tune of "Repale , " and the great " agitafiaa " cf a certain royal neighbourhood , when Peel , as a flunky , appears at the door with the bribe for ihe noisy
musician , to induce him to move off . " There ' s a Maynooth grant for yon , " says Peel , adding— " So yen now he quiet , and more on ! " O'Cossell re plies , atthe sometime taking the money , "Grant , indeed ; I never moTes on under Eepale ! D ' ye tbink I don'tknowtte-valueofpeaceandquietness !" The sullen look of _Phel , his awkward attempt at " conciliation , " aud the _isturdy , impudent , vagabond-3 w > k of Das , are both ad _^ nirably drawH . The literary matter is , as usual , excellent . Most _ancerely do we return our flianks to Punch for bis noble efforts to strangle tiie murder-loving spirit just tow so rampant . IF the present revolting taste for revelling in the horrors of homicide , legal and illegal , can be put down , it will , we are persuaded , be Punch " * lio will mainly effect that consummation . More power to him , say we . _Fromtiieadn-urable" Caudle Curtain Lectures" we extract the following : —
KM . CAUDLE ' S _CCKTilS _KCTCKEB . Jfr * . Caudle has Veen to see her dear mother . Caudle , on the "joyful ovoasion , " has griwn a party , and issued the annexed card of invitation .
"WHEN THE CAT ' S A WAT THE MICE Will PLAT . " Mr . Caudle ' s compliments to Mr . Prettyman , and exl * rts to have the honour of his company on this joyful occasion , at half-past eight o ' clock . It is hard , I think , Mr . Caudle , that I can't leave home for a day or two , but thehouse must be turned into a " • _avera-a tavern?—a pothouse . ' Yes . I thought you _*** _verj anxious that I should go ; I thought you wanted _a get riii of mefor something , or you would nothaveinsist eduu mj staying at dear mother ' s aU night Tou were _•"¦ _fr-tid I should get cold coming home , were you ! Oh J _. you tan be verv tender , yon can , Mr . Candle , when it suits your uwn purpose . Yes ! and the world Hunks what * E «> d husband yon are ' . I only wish the world "knew you 35 * vril as I do * that ' s aU ; but it shall , some day , I'm dttt rmined .
I ' m sure the house wUl not be sweet for a month . AU the curtains are poisoned with smoke ; and , what ' s more , " ** hh the filthiest smoke 1 ever knew . Take ' em down , * - _*"•* ' Yes , it ' s aU very weU for you to say , take ' em down ; bm they were only cleaned and put np a month _*?» : but a careftl wife ' s lost upon you , Mr . Candle . Yon _w _>? ht to bare married somebody who'd have let your wmse go to wreck and ruin , as I _wiB for the future . " _?&* who don't care for their femUies arebetter thought « than those who do ; I ' ve long found out that . . - - "ad what a condition the carpet's in 3 They ' ve taken -avt' pounds out of it , if a -farthing , with their filthy boots ,
_*?& I don't know what "besides . And then the smoke in " _* * hearth-rug , and a large cinder-hole burnt in it ! I never saw such a house in _raj / Ufe ! If jou wanted to have » few friend ? , why couldn't you invite ' em when your wife ' s at home , like any other man ? not have ' em sneak " ¦ " 6 m * - * e a set of housebreakers , directly a woman " _wns her back , They must "be pretty gentlemen , they _„ ***** fellows , that are afraid to face a woman rf SU _£ an caU yourselves the lords of the creation _: « ould only iite to see what would "become ofthe crea-* Iun u you were left to yourselves ! A pretty pickle _watiwi would be in !
very goon » _<*" _mu-a have-be * nin » mi * econuition ! "ffhatdoyou _" _- * _* - ' You took _nofhj _^ ? Took nothing , didn't you ! I ' m "A i * * snch a r _* - * 8 toei : it of _exnpH bottles , I havnt _~*» o the heart to count ' em . And punch , too ! you must
Punch.—Part Xlvi. Hie Contents Of This P...
have punch ! _fere ' s a hundred half-lemons in the _fatchen , if there ' s one : for Susan , like a good girl , kept cm to show ' e . n n . e . No , sir ; Susan shan't leave fhe house ! "What do you say ? She has no right to tell taks , _andyau . wiLLbe master in yaw ownlmse ? Will vou ? If you don taller , Mr . Caudle , you'll soon have no _' house to be master of . A whole loaf of sugar did I leave in the cupboard , and now there isn't as much as would iii a tea-cup . Bo you suppose I ' m to find sugar for punch for fifty men ? Whatdoyousay ? There wasn't fifty ? That ' s matter
no ; the mora shame for ' em , sir . I ' m sure they drank enough for fifty . Doyou suppose I ' m to find sugar for punch for all tiie world out of my _hoiisekeepingmoney 2 You don't ask me . ' Don ' t yon ask me % You do ; yon know yon do : for if I only want a shUling extra , thc house is in a blaze . And yet a whole loaf of sugar can you throw away upon No , I won't be stiU ; and I won ' t let you go to sleep . If you'd got to bed at a proper hour last night , you wouldn't have been so sleepy now . You can sit np half the night with a pack of people who don't care for yon , and your poor wife can't get in a word !
And there ' s that China image that I had when I was married—I wouldn'thave taken any sum of money for it , and you know it—and how do I find it ? "With its precious head knocked off ! And what was more mean , more contemptible than aU "besides , it was put on again , as if nothing had happened . Ton knew _nothing about tt I i _' ow , how can you He there , in your Christian bed , Caudle , and say that ? You know that that _feUow , Prettyman , knocked off the head with the poker ! You know that he did . And you hadn't the feeling , —yes , I will say it , — you hadn't the feeUng to protect what jou knew was precious to me . 0 no , if the truth was known , you were very glad to see it broken for that very reason .
Every way , I've been insulted . I should like to know who it was who corked whiskers on my dear aunt's picture ! Oh ! you're laughing are you ! You ' re not laughing ? Don't tell me that I should like to know whatshakes the bed , then , if you ' re not laughing ? Yes , corked whiskers on her dear face , —and she was a good soul to you , Caudle , and you ought to be ashamed of yourself to see her Ul-nsed . Oh , you may laugh ! It's very easy to laugh ! I only wish you'd a little feeUng , Uke other people , that ' s aU . Then there ' s my china mug—the mug ! had before I was married—when I was a happy creature . I should like to kuow who knocked the spout off that mug ? Don ' t teU me it was cracked before—h _? s no such thing , Caudle ; there wasn't a flaw in it—and now , I could have cried when 1 saw it- Don't teU me it wasn't worth twopence . How do you know ? You never buy mugs . But that ' s like men ; they think nothing in a house costs anything .
Theres four glasses broke , and nine cracked . At least , thafs aU I ' ve found out at present , but I dare say I shall discover a dozen to-morrow . And 1 should like to know where the cotton umbreUa's gone to—and I shonld like to know who broke the bcllpuU—and perhaps yon don't know there ' s a leg off a chair—and perhaps"Here , " says Caudle , "Morpheus came to my aid , and I slept ; nsy , I think I snored . "
Haymarket Theatre. Tbiumpbast Success Of...
HAYMARKET THEATRE . TBIUMPBAST SUCCESS OF DOUGLAS JERROLD ' S NEW COMEDY . By this time , we imagine , no name connected with the literature of the present day will be better known to , or more popular with , our readers , than that of Douglas Jehrold . We are proud that , in our position as conductors of this paper , we have had it in our power to make known to a large body of the working classes the great chums Mr . Jerrold has upon their gratitude for his inimitable advocacy of their best interests , in common with all that is associated with suffering humanity and outraged justice . "We now with sincere pleasure record in our columns the triumphant success of Ms new comedy—Time works Wonders . We bave not yet enjoyed the rare treat of witnessing its performance , though we hope to . do se in the course of a few days . The following critiques , it will be seen , are from two of the daily papers . Higher praise than therein contained no
man need covet . ( From the Times . ) The announcement of a new comedy from the pen of Mr . Jerrold drew a crowded and escited audience to this theatre on Saturday . Expectation and hope were visibly written on many faces , and the practised eye might select ' considerable numbers who were scarcely less anxious as to the fete of the work than the author himself-, for Mr . ' Jerrold has a numerous host of admirers , legitimately gained by the display of brilliant talents and of strong
uncompromising feeling for many years . Deeply impressed with the sufferings of the poor man in a highly artificial state of society , he has laboured to set them forth in the most prominent manner , sometimes with hearty indignation , sometimes with the droUery of a humourist . Allowing his keen sense of what he conceives to be a wrong to carry him to an extreme , he has earned among ihe superficial a character for mere asperity though really he is one of the kindliest of our authors , and the asperity is fhe mere husk tbat conceals the internal -benevolence . We mean the internal benevolence
of his writings , for notwithstanding the biting epigrams , the sarcasms and sneers , with which as with so many porcupine ' s quills they are overlaid , the genuine humanity the lore of right , that quality which the Germans call gemuth , and for which the -English hare no name , though they possess the quality in a higher degree than any nation on earth , stand there conspicuous enough for all who hare eyes to observe them , and are not so dazzled by the exterior hriUiancy as to allow the inner warmth to escape them . Hr . Jerrold's worth as an author is widely felt and acknowledged , and when we say that a party was at the Haymarket to support him , we mean no more than such a party as tried worth and talent have a right to expect .
Within this last year or two Mr . Jerrold s writings have been presenting a new phase . Formerly , as far as _s-yle was concerned , his great aim was to _reproduce the epigrammatic point of the seventeenth and early eighteenth centuries . For a brilliant simile or repartee he would not mind violating probability : and as some men wiU sacrifice a friend for the sake of a joke , so would he twist nature a Uttle to round a period with effect In a word , he was the representative of the Congreve school in wit , thongh the natural kindliness of the man spoke
deep-toned from beneath the glitter in a manner unknown to the old wit . lately Mr . Jerrold has foUowed the Congrevian wit less , and nature more—has looked deeper into humanity for the genuine sources of humour—and has come out with a truth and freshness formerly unknown . This distinguishes Ms recent writings from the more laboured productions of his earlier years ; but the tone and temper of the man remain the same , —there is the same talent for flashing wit , when he chooses to exercise it , the same spirit ef humanity , andrestlessn « ss under conventionalism .
The new comedy of Time works Wonders belongs to this latter class of writing . The characters are drawn with more truthfulness and simplicity , and are not aH endeavouring to be professed wits . It is , indeed , essentially a comedy of character , and the plan , in this respect , is laid out with a firm masterly hand . Miss Tacker { Mrs . Glover ) , a school-mistress , whose school is ruined in consequence of an elopement , and who is afterwards maintained as a companion by the very young lady who caused the misfortune , is an excellent conception—so weU are the real ingratitude and discontent of the unamiable woman balanced with her grateful professions . Obtrusively thankful for each little gift , she contrives to utter her thanks so as to convey a depreciation of the benefit conferred : she is pleased with the sUk gown bestowed
upon her , but would rather have chosen any other colour The feeling of living in another person ' s house weighs hearUy upon her ; and she takes care to express it so as to pain her benefactress . The critique on this character is put into the mouth of the young lady : —" True gratitude in very fulness of its soul knows not the limits of its debt ; but when it weighs each UtUegift—books down each passing courtesy—it ceases to he gratitude , and sinks to calculation . " In the introductory act , in which the elopement takes place , the worldliness of this woman is weU prepared by the formula of her regret . She is shocked at the school-girl ' s ingratitude , not so much for the elopement itself , as because she has carried off her own silver spoon . The humbug professor , Trufflles ( Strickland ) , is a . sketch only , but the notion is admirable .
Fancy an itinerant professor of natural science , a compound of low cunning and sensuality , travelling from boarding-school to boarding-school , with tbe solar system in a deal box , and finally walking off with a repeater from one of them . The collision between this scamp , who , having risen in the world , has a character to lose , and another scamp , a trainer of game cocks ( Buckstone ) , who has no position at aU , but wants a character as valet , is a masterpiece—one fire of humour and brilliancy . The unprosperous ragamuffin has an advantage over the thriving- one _^—he has no character to lose , and knows certain unpleasant secrets . His remark , when the professor seems unwilling to give him a character , ' I'm sure I could give jou one , " speaks volumes . Mr . Goldthumb ( Farrcn ) , an old trunk-maker , who has
become Uterary from the lining of his boxes , is a vehicle for for a Swift-Uke satire upon the fate of Uterary ambition , and bis interview with a high-spirited baronet ( Stuart ) , formerly an "M . P ., " is in the best comic spirit . The high-born man looks down upon the vulgarities of his visitor , who has recently inherited a fortune , but suddenly discovers that he is familiar with his Pariiamentary speeches . He had quitted Parliament in disgust , from the conviction tbat all his efforts were failures , and now here is a man to whom his fame has traveUed . Alas , it is only the trunk-maker , to whom the printed speeches have come in the way of business ! The baronet himself , Sir GUbert "Norman , deeply attached to the _conventionaUrles of rank and birth , yet capable of forgetting that
attachment when his heart is touched , is delicately drawn , and the situation is truly pathetic when the man is disappointed in that love which first draws him to the expression of his better nature from the magic circle of conventional austerity . The young lady , Florentine ( Miss Fortescne ) , the daughter of a baker , with whom the baronet ' s nephew falls ia love , and afterwards the baronet himself —a devoted , yet proud and higb-spirited girl , is weU contrasted with the companion of her elopement , Bessy Tulip , a merry half-civilised damsel from Trincomalee ( Madame Vestris ) , full of pertness and p leasantries . The young gentleman , Clarence Norman ( HoU ) , the baronet ' s nephew , who is the romantic hero , and Felix Goldthumb , ( C . Mathews ) , the _Ught-cosaedy-man , are , in point of character , much as such personages usually are .
There are two plots , which may , be told in very few lines '—Clarence Norman has eloped with Florentine from a hoarding-school , accompanied by Bessy Tulip , and stops to change'horses at a road-side inn , but the
marriage is broken off by the arrival of Miss _Tucke-i " the schoolmistress , and the young man is sent by his ancle to the continent to be cured of his passion . Five years afterwards Sir Gilbert _mei-ting Florentine , the death df whose father has placed her in a state oi * independence , falls in love with her , and offers her his hand , which sho accepts in a momentary fit of indignation at what she conceives the coldness and fickleness of Clarence , who has just returned from Italy . A rcconciUatiou , however , takes place between the lovers , and the baronet perceiving that even he , with all his prejudices in favour of rank , is not proof against the attractions of Florentine , consents to the marriage of his nephew , after—not without a _struggle—withdrnwin-, - his own claim . The Goldthumbs are the heroes of the other plot . Felix , on his father obtaining a large fortune , runs into all sorts of dissipation , and is sent to Java to get out of mischief and make his
fortune . However , at the Cape of Good Hope he meets Bessy Tulip on her way to Trincomalee , marries her , and brings her back . The great point is to obtain the forgiveness of old Goldthumb , who is perpetually tormented for his cruelty by his wife ( Mrs . "W . Clifford ) . He is a strange mixture of a wish to emulate the stern virtue of the "Romans , of whom he has read in his trunks , and of an extravagant admiration for the genius of his son . A dream which terrifies him , and an accidental meeting ivith his son , whom he takes for a ghost ( this is the weakest point in the piece ) , at last induce him to give liis pardon . The circumstances of the elopement arc all contained in the first act , which might with propriety be called an "introduction , " and the " wonders" which " Time works" arc the changes which take place in the four other acts , which are separated from the first by an interval of five years .
Although great interest attaches to the character of Florentine , we must still say that Mr . Jerrold appears , as usual , more as a play writer than as a play builder . With admirable dialogue , equal to anything he has done , and with greater truth of character , he stiU lacks that constructive tact which belongs to many authors not worthy to be named in the same day with him . Disdaining the employment of surprise as a means , he runs into the opposite extreme of working on subjects after he has made his audience familiar with them , and this leads in some instances to too great prolixity of dialogue . Hence the
piece wfll bear Ughtening , though the intrinsic excellence of the writing , and the abundant " points" which perpetuaUy flash ont upon the audience , kept them in a state of admiration for four hours . There was a perfect roar of approbation at the faU of the curtain , whieh instantly rose again to exhibit the actors . A cry was then raised for Mr . Jerrold , who bowed from a private box , and then a separate call for Miss Fortescue , who weU merited the distinction , for she completely won the hearts of the audience by her truly lady-like manner , her unaffected earnestness , and the genuine feeling which showed itself within fhe limits of the most perfect propriety .
Nor should we in the general success forget Mr , "Webster , who , though he did uot act in the piece , exerted himself most creditably in the _mise en scene . The apartment with a bow-window looking on a lawn was most beautifully arranged . Mr . "Webster is the only manager now in London who has consistently laboured to support the legitimate drama , and it is , therefore , pleasing to record his prosperity .
( From the Morning Herald . ) The new comedy is caUed Time works Wonders , and was produced on Saturday night . In a word , it may be stated that it met with the most perfect success , notwithstanding its inordinate length ( four hours and more ) and the narrow limits of the story . The smartness of the dialogue—sparkling from the beginning to the end' with strokes of wit , shrewdness , and sarcasm—furnished unfaiUng entertainment to the audience ; so there can be UtUe error in predicting that its days wUl be long in the Haymarket . At the fall of the curtain the house re sounded with cries for the author , and those who had never before seen one alive , were thrown into ecstacies by his appearance in a private box . But the enthusiasm had been kindled to such a degree , that it was sometime before it cooled into anything like quietness and decorum . * * * *
A little abridgment of the dialogue here and . there wiU be necessary ; for the absence of " situation"in thelatter acts is a defect which audiences , accustomed to more bustle and rapid motion , are apt to feel . But the comedy is admirably written throughout , and overflows with brilliancies of all kinds . Its vein of sentiment is kindly and _benevolsnt ; and although many of it ' s saUics are bitfngly sarcastic , they are neither improperly nor unworthUy levelled . With the practical m » ral aimed at , most people would sympathise . An occasional overcharged bitterness of expression may be encountered when
the claims of humble purity and virtue are put in emphatic opposition to the haughty and cold-blooded fac titiousness of wealth ; bnt the invariable charity and kindness ofthe purpose maybe accepted as an excuse . Douglas Jerrold could hardly write a line without the exhibition of deeply-seated compassion for Ms fellow-creatures ; and this new comedy , in its uiiiversalapplicahiUty does as much honour to his heart , as its sparkling wit , its ingenuity , and its naturalness , does to his technical skUi . A string of aphorisms—remarkable for their wisdom , prudence , and goodness—might be selected from it , worthy of the most serious consideration .
Gtriiniltur* Anto Iortimltutt.
_gtriiniltur _* _anto _iortimltutt _.
The Farmers Si-Baki-Vo Our.—At The Late ...
The Farmers _Si-baki-vo Our . —At the late meeting of the East Sussex fanners , the following speech was made , which is highly deserving of attention . The Rev . Dr . Lamb said : Sir , I cannot fail , to . congratulate you and the meeting on the wrap of moderation which characterises its proceedings . Indeed ; it will be inexcusable in us if we do not manifest a degree of wholesome discretion , after the adroirable lesson whicli has been ' read to the agriculturists of the western part of the county , by the gallant colonel who represents them in Parliament . ( Laughter . ) I don't know whether the yeomanry of England will feel themselves complimented by being _comD-jred to Polyphemus , or Polly Horton , or any other Polly of eauallv resDectable character ; but we don't
pretend to advise measures for the good administration of the affairs of this country ; we have , not been schooled sufficiently to understand _whatmcasures are advisable under particular circumstances . Gentlemen , we can only assume thi **—there mav not . be , perhaps , a single gentleman in the room who knows how to make a pair of shoes , but I do suppose that every one of us knows where the shoe pinches —( applause and laughter)—and though the skulls of the Sussex yeomanry may not inaptly be compared tothe field of turnips wliich they cultivate , we all know whether or not we have beef pudding on the table , and we all know whether the beef is in the pudding or not . . ( Repeated cheering . ) I lament the change of sentiment which appears to
prevail in gentlemen who have taken their seats m the House of Commons ; I lament that the old saying , of "kicking down the ladder by which we have arisen , " is , in some instances , perhaps , realised . The constituencies of the kingdom are the ladder by which members have been sent to that high post of legislating for the country ; but an extraordinary change appears to have come over them . It would appear as if the door-keeper of the House . ofCom .--mons presented them with a draught . from the Lethean stream , that they may forget everything which has been previously declared on the hustings ; and with the . oath which is administered at the Speaker ' s table , they appear to be _gifted _^ ith every rcauisite necessary for the post' wluch they occupy ,
whatever may have been their previous habits oflife , or theirprevious preparation for theoflice which they fill . It is but wholesome sometimes to bring these gentlemen back to the recollection of what is expected from them at the hattds of their respective constituencies . We are told that the time for bringing forward the question . which must principally occupy our attention this day , has been ill-chosen ; but the time never comes—the time never comes for the expression of agricultural grievances , or for their redress . I . maintain that the present time is of all times most fit , and the most expedient . We may hope that some good will ensue from the course now pursued , and that possibly , when thenext session of Parliament commences , there may be an equal
opportunity for the remission ot duties with that which presented itself at the commencement of the present session . "We are told that the _^ agricultural interest has partaken in the general relief which has been afforded to the country at large . To a certain extentit undoubtedly has ; but yet , in many instances the agricultural interest has sustained more or less of injury which appears to have escaped the observation of those who . have introduced such measures . As for instance , take the sugar duty . Nobody will deny that the agricultural population get their share of relief in the reduction of that duty ; but is it not also perfectly well understood that a very considerable quantity of beer has been made from sugar ; and is it not manly probable that that quantity will be
considerably increased by the reduction of that duty ? So that altogether , with thc advantage which we derive in common with the rest of the communit y , there is a particular disadvantage known only to ourselves . ( Hear , hear . ) There is another remission of duty , for which credit has been taken in HieEonse of Gommons for relief afforded the a _^ iculturists ' . That is the remission of the timber duties ; and the reason given for it is this , that the _landlo _^ , are necessarily obliged to maintain a great extent of buildings . Now how this may operate ih other parts ofthe country , I won't undertake to say ; but in this district we commonly consider the remission of the timber duties as acting rather unfavourably than otherwise , by the reduction in the value of our ' oak
timber . Thus you will find it is in every item , if we were to pursue the subject . Take , for in stance , another article , the smaller seeds . That may . be a boon to a considerable portion even of the agricultural body ; but at the same timeit is highly injui * ious - to those who have been , hitherto engaged in producing those seeds . Take the remission of the duty on foreign fruit . It may be a good to the community at large , but it has been the ruin of the fruit growers of Kent . So , in every instance where _. relief has been afforded to the community tit large , it has , been given at the ' expense of the agricultural interest . ' But we are told that in advocating the repearofthe malt duty , we are actuated by a selfish principle . . Now , gentlemen , I conceive that to be a selfish policy wherein individual good alone is' sought for , a _* nn especially where ] that good is sought for by causing
The Farmers Si-Baki-Vo Our.—At The Late ...
_Ste _*? ' _* _? _^ _'Sd " upon others . But we cannot submit to be told that our views are selfish , when we _vlff i " -i ,, e P _^ _Perity of the agriculturists of h , ngland . _Wwt . cannot be selfish which embraces the _gooc of so large a portion of the communitv . We might be told as well that patriotism is a selfish principle , it is the good of all classes which is embraced in what we have in view ; and if ever there was an occasion in which self-love and social feeling were the same , st certainly is true of the cause which we are here met to-day to support and forward , for by the . remission of this duty we are affording a boon to tne whole labouring population ofthe kingdom . ( Loud cheers ) And , gentlemen , let me draw vour attention to the point that while we complain sometimes of the
expense attaching to tiie maintenance ofthe poorer portion of our labouring population though not exceeding more , if fairly stated , I believe than four millions , we are drawing from that very same class oi society , a very large proportion of tliis malt duty , which amounts to five millions . Is it too much to say that four millions of that sum are paid by the labouring population ofthecountry ? ( Cheers . ) If , on this single item , the lower classes are taxed to the extent of four millions , surely tliere remains but little ground for complaining of the expense of four milhonsfor the maintenance of that same portion of our population , which has been worn-out and exhausted by that whieh they have contributed to the weU-bcing of the country at large . It is an enormous ltemtobepaidb ytlielowerclasses alone ; and therefore
, in seeking a remission of the duty , we arc indeed not claiming a boon for agriculture , but we are advocating the interests of all classes of society . Now , gentlemen , that the amount of this duty is enormous may , I think , be fairly established by taking the calculation of the amount of malt duty on one acre of barlev , grown for the purpose of malting . I tike thatchargc to amount to £ 510 s . per acre : £ 5 10 s . per acre fbr your own native production , gentlemen ; for the fruit of your own soil , while you are hearing , day after day , of remission of duties in favour of thc importation of foreign productions to this country ! The two things are perfectly irreconcilable . ' The remission of all duties on foreign-grown cattle and seeds , while you are paying so enormous a tax upon thc productions of your own land ! It is unreasonable and it-is
unnatural . But its operation is most vital to the agricultural interest ; for , though it may be replied that the consumer pays the tax , and not the grower , it operates in a worse manner upon the grower than if the tax was immediately upon himself , because it effectually narrows his market , and diminishes to an incredible extent the demand for that article , on the sale of which he altogether depends . Is it too much , gentlemen , to assume that the malt duty diminishes By one half what , under other circumstances , would be the consumption of both malt and hops * ? I tliink we can hardly nesitate tb admit that to be a fair calculation when we consider the extraordinary increase of the malt duty the moment the beer duty was remitted . The point which I wish to establish isthis , thatthe price of the article , and the price only , has
reduced the consumption , and prevented that increase which would follow a repeal ofthe duty . ' Is it not most extraordinary , gentlemen , that while every other duty lias been gradually increasing in proportion to the increase of population , that inalt alone should form an exception ? Is it not a most striking fact , that the consumption of malt in : this country was nearly , as . great as it is now when the population was not more than one third of its present amount ? That this is to be accounted for by any change in the habits or tastes of the people is immediately contradicted by adverting to that great increase which followed the remission of the duty on beer . We know that the malt duty was immediately increased , after that pressure was taken off , from three and a half millions to five millions a year . Is it then too much to assume
that if the duty was entirely repealed , the consumption of malt would be seven and a half or eight millions ; and are we hot sure that the consumption of hops would more than keep pace with that consumption of malt , because the remission , of this duty would , encourage private brewing to an extent we have never yet known * , and we know very well that the consumption of hops js much greater in the hands of the private than of the public Drewer ? We have next to _considerhowprodigiously this acteupon the well-being of the ' agricultural interest , that is , by cutting off our market , by preventing .: us first making those returns out pf . which the ; exigencies ofthe State might fairly be supplied . It has been said again and again , in spite of the remission of three and a half millions of taxation at the commencement ofthe session—it has
been said that the countiy cannot afford so extensive a remission of duty ., We are anxious to support aU the engagements of the . country ; we shrink from no fair share of the burden which must of necessity be imposed , but we ask that thc burden may assume such a shape as we may be able to support and carry ( great cheering ) . It is not the amount of money , but the way in whicli that money is called for . I rejoiced to read a report of what passed the other day in a high sphere , where one of the first ministers of the crown declared that the government were convinced that the time was arrived when indirect taxation could be carried no further ( loud cheers ) . There is every reason why we should prefer direct _taxationioan impost which operates in the prejudicial manner of that of which we are now speaking . Direct
taxatibncalls for money only where money is to be found ; it calls upon the rich , but it spares the poor ( loud cheers ) . I declare , for my own part , that I would a thousand times over prefer the direct application of the property-tax to an impost which operates like the one of whicli we are now speaking ( cheers ) . The expense of . . the malt duty has crept into every cottage of the country , and filched away from the poor man the can and the beer barrel ( loud app lause ) . Yes , and the malt tax has bled the fanner till ho has relinquished the old hospitable custom of supplying his labourers with a beverage which is necessary to the maintenance of their health and the support of their , labours ; the malt duty has interfered even with the hospitality of the country gentleman ' s hall , and we _noloncer hear tho poor man speaking of the
grateful pint of mild beer which he has found in that residence which was once a better resource to him than the beer shop or thc alehouse ( loud applause ) . The : malt- duty , interferes with the health of the labouring olasses to an extent which we have not the means of estimating ; but this , gentlemen , I deliver as ray evidence on the present occasion ; that , formerly when this subject was before the public , I took the trouble of asking many medical gentlemen , who at the time were engaged in tho particular charge of the respective parishes , whether or not they would undertake that medical charge at a lower rate of remuneration , provided thelabourershadawliolesome supply , of . beer , and without one exception every medical gentleman replied that , were he sure the labouring classes would be supplied with beer , he
would takethe medical charge ofthe poor on lower terms . I have endeavoured to exhibit to you some of the malversations , some of the . evil doings of this malt duty ; I profess that I regard it as one ofthe greatest enemies ofthe country—as ah evil doer , who desejeyes to be punished with-the utmost extremity of the law . If capital punishments were ,, not now almost but of date ,, I should propose that he should be hanged ( hear , ' and laughter ); but as that , under present circumstances , seems almost abandoned , I should be s atisfied if . _L could , only , see : him banished , from , the kingdom ( applause ) . Theresolution states ' ' that the malt tax is deeply injurious to the agricultural interest by narrowing , to an almost incredible extent , the market both for malt and hops . " There . has been some delicacy felt
as to the introduction ofthe hop plantations ; for my own part , I see no reason why that part of the question should be blinked at all .- When I am led to suppose that not less than - £ 800 , 000 is every year _ex-, pended for labour , in one way or the other connected with the hop plantations , I cannot but think those plantations We special claims to the consideration of a paternal government . But we are not asking for an agricultural bow . We require only to be placed on fair and equal grounds with the other interests of this country ( cheering ) , or , as I might almost say , with the producers of foreign states . I come now to what I consider almost the gravamen of the question—that by . prohibiting the great additional value of which all grain is susceptible by the process of malting , it robs both the public and the producer
of no small portion of the value of thc soil . It cannot be denied , gentlemen ,. that the public at large is interested in the general production of the country , and especially in the production of food . We will not deny that there is some ground of complaint on thc part of the public , where game is fed to such an extent as to interfere with the production of the farmer ; but if wc examine the working of the malt duty , we shall see not only the unreasonableness of its operation in this respect , but the extraordinary extent to wluch it proceeds . It has been asserted that the value of all grain and pulse , which is intended for the fattening of cattle , is increased one half by-the process of malting . Now , gentlemen , I leave it to you to inform me , if you can , the number of quarters of beans , peas . oats , and barley , not used for beer ,
which are produced throughout the whole length and breadth of this kingdom , and to imagine only for a moment that a law should be in operation which prohibits the grower of tliat corn from increasing its value to such syn amount as I haye stated . What is the effect of this ? How many millions would all the . pulse andgrain produced in this countiy amount to ; and whatever . that amount may be- you may increase it one half by having recourse to those expedients which the improvements of science place within your reach . But no ; the malt duty conies forward and says : — " You shall not feed your cattle with that producewhich would be most especially suited to the
purpose , because there is a duty which must be paid ; and if you were left at liberty to malt grain for purposes of that kind , the revenue might be defrauded . " It ia unnecessary for me , I hope , to dwell longer on this subject ; Iconcludey therefore , bymovingthisresolution ' . —'' That the malt dut-y _. _'by extravagantly adyanoingthe price ofone ofthenecessaries oflife , inflicts a cruel wrong , upon the whole labouring * population , whether engaged , in agriculture , ' ' manufactures , or otherwise , and is deeply injurious to tile agricultural interest by narrowing , to an an almost incredible extent , the _mwket'bothier malt aiid hops , 'thus diminishing the means of employment for the labouring
The Farmers Si-Baki-Vo Our.—At The Late ...
classes ; while , by prohibiting the great additional value of which ail grain is susceptible by the process of malting , it robs both the public and the producer of no -small portion of the fruits of tlic soil . "
Fatal Accident.—An Inquest Was Held On M...
Fatal Accident . —An inquest was held on Monday at thc Spring "Well Hotel , _Ewell , before Mr . Carter , upon the body of Mr . Daniel Newman Wood , aged 30 , a gentleman of large property , residing at Strawberry-hill , Chenington , whose death , occurred in the following shocking manner : — 'f he deceased liad been to the Spring meeting on Epsom Downs on Friday last , and was returning homeward through Ewell , about half-past six o ' clock in the evening , when , in passing , the residence of Mr . Bataon , his horse ( a very spirited animal ) became restive , and
threw its rider . Mr . Wood pitched with great violence upon the base of liis skull , and death must have ensued instantly , for upon sonic gentleman who witnessed the accident going to thc unfortunate gentleman's assistance , no signs of animation were perceptible . After a full and patient inquiry into all the circumstances attending this lamentable affair , the jury returned as their verdict , "Thatthe deceased was accidentally killed by facing thrown from his horse . " Tiie deceased gentleman was well known in the division of Surrey in which he resided .
Railway . Accidesis . —From a return ordered by tbe House of Commons' Select Committee on the Atmospheric Railway system , it appears that during 1814 there were 84 persons killed , and 102 injured by railway accidents m the kingdom . It is curious , however , to observe how few , comparatively , of tliat number were passengers . During the first three months of this year there were , also , 22 persons killed , and 17 persons injured by railway accidents . Such , at least , arc the cases reported for the Railway Department of the Board of Trade . Total Loss by Fire op TnE Barque Cigar , op Liverpool , —Extract of a letter from Ceara _, dated March 14 , 1845 , to the owners , Messrs . R . Singlehurst and Co .: — - "Gentlemen , —Wc have to announce the melancholy intelligence of the loss by lire of the barque Cigar . She sailed from this port witlt a full cargo of cotton , hides , & c , on the 7 th ult ., at 0 a . m . ; at half-past nine the following morning the captain
and crew armed m ship ' s boats , and reported her loss immediately , the captain stating that at 3 r . M . on the day she sailed thc mate informed him that there was a smell of fire in some part of thc vessel , upon which he ordered the fore-hatch to be opened , and immediately smoke issued forth . Thc position of the Hre could not be ascertained . T 1 _ig hatch was closed , and smoke was seen to come from the halfdeck , down which the crew poured water in great quantities ; but , finding it all to no purpose , they tacked ship and stood in for land . The deck now became so hot that they were obliged to take to the boats , without having time to save their clothes , awl rowed alongside for about half an hour , when the masts went overboard ; and , finding that there was no hope of saving the vessel , they made for this port , and all arrived in safety . The ship has since drifted ashore and gone to pieces . Very little of the cargo was saved , and that in a much damaged condition . "
IIoitWBLK Murder . —Lisbon ( Poiitugal ) , _April 21 . —I have just heard ofthe discovery of a murder in this city , which assuredly has never been exceeded in atrocity . On the 4 th of February last ( Shrove Tuesday ) , a young lady , aged about 16 , whom an officer of notoriously profligate character had been courting against the wishes of her friends , disappeared from her home , to which she never returned . Suspicion having naturally fallen upon the otBcer in question , his lodgings were searched for her , but in vain , nor did anything transpire to justify the suspicion in his regard . Yesterday the people in the nei ghbourhood of a house in St . Joao Nepomuceno , which had been for some time uninhabited , having
been annoyed for some time by a smell proceeding from it , which had at last become intolerable , broke into it and found the body of a female , which was soon identified , though in a putrid state , as that of the missing young woman , _brom tho circumstance of her being habited in a domino , it is inferred that she must have been enticed by her seducer to meet hun at , the masquerade ball at the opera , and thathe then took her to the house , which , on inquiry , proved to have been hired by him only some days before , where , after debauching her person , lie liad destroyed her , either with the view of escaping discovery , or from mere wantonness pf cruelty . I am told that orders have already been sent off to arrest him in AJgarve , whore he now is .
Telegraphic Despatches To "Windsor. Down...
TELEGRAPHIC DESPATCHES TO "WINDSOR . Downing-stveet . Madam , —My first sentence is one of electricity . I am struck by thc D'lsraeli fluid . I am dead beat . R . P . Windsor . Sir , —Sarve you right , V . R . n . Downing-street . Madam , —Allow me to transmit to you , by a flash of lightning , the higheBt degree of impudence in the Fahrenheit of St . Stephen ' s . I have been called a " Parliamentary Middleman , " and my Government has been designated a " dynasty of deception , " and a Parliamentary imposture . R . P . in . Windsor .
Sir , —There is some justice about the "Middleman , " because I have always held you , as far as brains are concerned , to be a man of a very middling order . The " dynasty of deception" is unfair ; you are too shallow to deceive anybody ; the "Parliamentaryimposture" merely refers to your efforts , not to your success , upon the principle on which tho Mendicity Society take up beggars—as impostors who are only trying to impose . Believe me , I have great faith in my people and your transparency , and I think they see through you . If they don't , / do . This is not quite so telegraphic as your flash of lightning , but it is quite as true . V . R . —Joe Miller the Younger ,
Mmx\\\)% &T*
mmx \\\) % _& t *
Bankrupts. (From Tuesday's Gazette, Apri...
BANKRUPTS . ( From Tuesday ' s Gazette , April 29 J Anna Maria Johnson , West Smithfield , _innkceiie ' r— "William Johnson , West Smithfield , wine-merchant—Joseph Cooke , Wem , Salop , brewer—Thomas O'Borke and WUliam Burks , Manchester , commission-agents — Martha Cheetham and WUUam Cheetham , Smedley , "Lawcashive , piece . dyers—John Gregory , Weston , Somersetshire , innkeeper—Robert Brideson , Preston , Lancashire , provision _, dealer .
DIVIDENDS . May 23 , C . Crook , George-yard , Long-acve , livery-stable keeper—May 20 , R , Veune , Jfilner-place , Lambeth , builder —May 20 , T . Weston , Southampton , plumber—May 23 , II . _NichoU , Greetlnnd , Yorkshire , worsted-spinner—May 23 . J . Cree , Devonport , draper—May 23 , II . Muvch , _Norton-under-IIamdon , Somersetshire , _saU-clotli-manu facturer—May 23 , E . P . Worth , Henley-in-Arden , Warwickshire , victualler—May 22 , W . _BuiteriH , Sheffield , grocer—May 20 , W . Britten , Borrowby _, Yorkshire , manutacturer of linen-cloth—May 20 , W . F . Nicholson , Warley , Yorkshire , worsted-spinner—May 20 , W . Collinson _, East Buttcrwick , Lincolnshire , shipwright—May 22 , 3 . Ashbarry _, _Uolni lacy , Herefordshire , farmer—May 22 , J . Yarrad , Spalding , Lincolnshire , grocer—May 22 , T . Lane , Hereford , coal-merchant .
DECLARATIONS OF DIVIDENDS . R . Thompson , Stroud , Kent , draper—first dmdend of 9 s . , in the pound , any Saturday , at the office of Mr . Edwards , Frederick ' s-place , Old Jewry . O . Snoulton , Canterbury , banker—first dividend , of 20 s , in the pound , any Saturday , at the office of Mr . Edwards , Frederick's-place , Old Jewry , W . Oliver , Darlington , Durham , printer—first dividend , of 4 s . 6 d , in the pound , any Saturday , atthe office of'Mr , Wakley , Newcastlc-npon-Tyne . _VT . Lewis , Liverpool , pUot—first dividend , of ls . in the pound , any Thursday , at the office of Mr , Cazenove , Liverpool .
W . Cross , Chester , lead-mcrchant-first dividend , of Is . in the pound , any Thursday , at the office of Mr . Cazenove , _LiverpooL T . Johnson , C . Mann , and W . Johnson , Romford , bankers—second dividend , of 2 s . Gd , in the pound to those creditors whose surnames commence with the letter A to L inclusive , on Wednesday , April 30 ; and to creditors whose surnames commence with M to Z inclusive , on Wednesday , May 7 , or any subsequent Wednesday , at the office of Mr . FoUett , Sambrook . court , Basinghall street , C . F , Warman , Houndsditch , china-dealer—first dividend , of 2 s , 6 d . in the pound , any Wednesday , at the office of Mr , Pennell , Basinghall-street .
W . Law , Reading , Berkshire , draper—second dividend , of fid , in the pound , any Wednesday , at the office of Mr . Pennell , BasinghaU : stveet . Certificates to be granted , uuless cause be shown to tbe contrary on the day of meeting . May 22 , T . K . GorbeU , Bedford-place , Commercial-road , Stepney , bookseller—May 22 , R . Swansborough and II . Oake , _Bread-street , City , flax-merchants—May 20 , W . H . Mills , _Mark-lane , City , wine-merchant—May 20 , G . Haywood , Luton , Bedfordshire , bricklayer—May 20 , C . Burrage , Newgate-market , carcase-butcher—May 20 , C . F . Warman , Hounsditch , china-dealev—May 22 , W . Reeves , Walcot , Somersetshire , coach-huUdcr—May 20 , J . Hasel den , _Bolten-le-Moors , Lanca 6 liive , _cotten-spinner—May 20 , 0 . Lewis , Bath , innkeeper-May 20 , R . Marshall , Deptford , stonemason—May 20 , M . Martin , Bristol , upholsterer-May 20 , T . Browning , Old BaUey , innkeeper—May 20 , T . Hees , Liverpool , brewer—May 20 , F . Pratt , Stoke-upon-Trent , Staffordshire , -miller—May 20 , " W . Broadbcnt , Denton , Lancashire , Hour-dealer—May 20 , F . _Fothergill' and J . _M'Innes _, Bell ' _s-close , Northumberland , lampblack manufacturers .
PARTNERSHIPS _DISSOLVED . W . Humber _, jun ., and J . Sanders , King _* s-place , Commercial-road , auctioneers- !? . L . Millard and R . Summers , Haverfordwest , surgeons—M . Mead and A . Lawrence Shrewsbury , milUners—T . Beed and R . P . Harrison , Hornton , Devonshire , curriers—T . Piper and G . Riddle , Lambstreet , Spitalfields , patent iron-wheel manufacturers—G Robertson and J . Alexander , Liverpool , commission-merchants—J . Walmsley , jun ., and J . Tayleur , Liverpool , coaLmerchants-C . Parsons and F . S . Collins , Presteign , solicitors—J . Campbell , J . Macfie , A , Woods , and G . Alston , Liverpool , merchants ; as far as regards A . Woods and G . Alston-J . Mills , jun ,, W . and G . Mills , Poplar , i
coopers ; as far as _. regardij W . MiUs—J . Rowe and _b . _iggott , Chester , wooUeri-drapers—R . Maddock and W . _»• Stredder , Birkenhead , Cheshire , builders- _^ . W . and b . Hunt , Liverpool , lacc-dealers-H . Jones and C , Taunton , Hatton-garden , bottle-inerchants—J . Dcnmston ami J . Candlish , Sunderland , _ship-brokers-E . Kelsey , W . and A . Thornton , Reigate , Surrey , conductors of a ladies _boaidinff-school-W . Cartwright and J . Burland , Ashton-in-Mackerfiold . Lancashire , common-brewers-J . Ellison and W T Sibley _. Selby , Yorkshire , tailors—T . Monk and W , Hod-res Roliertson ' s-place , StockweU-grcen , Lambeth , hutcners-G . 11 ., C , and 5 . H . Blake , _Stephen-street , Tot _tenham-court-road _, cabinet-makers ,
M M ^L
m M _^ L
Hints To Spobtsmb-V.*-" The Oldest Of Me...
Hints to _Spobtsmb-v . _* - " The oldest of men are not expected to be witliout feeling . An officer may fo bravely into battle , and bear it bravely too , hut e must feel it : he cannot be insensible to a shattered knee . " " Certainly not . " " Or a jaw bone blown away . " " By no means . " " Or four of his ribs jammed in . " "Horrible . '" "Or his face smashed and his nose forced in . " "Don ' tspeak of it ! " " Or his two legs taken off by a cannon ball , he being left to fester to death , on a winter ' s night , on a large plain . " " Upon my soul , you make my flesh creep on my bones . " " A gallant spirit js not _luuivkfl In _fanl _^ 11 tli'a m * nvon In _lif-flr ( if it . _trnttinii _* -
shuddering , even though the battle may be necessary , and a great g ood produced by it to society , " " Certainly , certainly , God knows . " " It is only a woodcock or a snipe that ought to bear it without complaining ; your partridge is the only piece of flesh and blood that we can put info such a state for no iieccssity _. btttpwely ior our sport and pleasure . " 'How?—what ' s that yousay ? " " Isav it's ' _iinne hut birds that we may , -with a perfect _conscicine , lame , lacerate , smash , and blow their legs and In _; _l : s away , and leave , God knows where , to perish of neglect and torture , they being the only masculine creatures living , and not tobe lowered into comparison with soldiers and gallant men . "— ' New Monthly Magazine .
_Gaoss Incbatitude or tiie ' b 2 Club . —Mr , John Reilly , of'Dublin , has been _black-beancil hy the ' 82 Club for this great offence--he is a tailor ! Now when we consider the great impetus that lias been given to the cause of repeal by the green uniform of thc ' 82 Club—when we reflect that Ireland will be won for Irishmen , not hy sword and bayonet , but by needle and thread , exercised upon verdant broadcloth—when the goose of O'Reilly , somewhat like the famous geese ofthe Capitol , will save Erin from the Saxon—( for all this , Mr . O'ConneU has assured us , will be peacefully compassed by ' 82 gentlemen donning the livery of grasshoppers)—we consider that O'Reilly ' s treatment _liy the club as not only ungrateful , but unnaturally rebellious . It is as if a lot of puppets should cast off tlieir showman . One excuse , however , has been charitably suggested for the ' 82 . It is this . Many of them may be endowed with too fine a sensibility to be continually meeting their creditor . —Punch .
A Long _"Iaun . —Onc pound of cotton ( says Mr , Gordon ) , which formerly could only lie spun into a thread of 108 yards long , cau now , by tlte application of steam , produce a thread of _lCf miles in length . The Height of _Extiuvaoakce followed by the Height of _Absukditi * . —Purchasing the Economist for sixpence , and afterwards expecting to find any light reading in it . A Rival of the Court Circular . —Thc Observer of Sunday contains the annexed important announcement : — "Saturday Evening . —The reporter had an
interview yesterday with Mr . Cope , the governor of Newgate , who received him most courteously , and communicated such information relative to the condemned criminal Hocker as he consistently could do as chief officer to the gaol . " We have every reason to believe that the reporter in question was Jym Grant , who , fired b y thc quotations from his " Impressions on Ireland" in the House of Commons , is about to produce " Thc Crimes of Criminals ; or , Musings of Murderers ; " alliteration in a title of a new book making up for the illiteracy ofthe writer ; " The bookful blockhead ignorantly read ,
With loads of learned lumber in his head . " Great Gun . Strange _Grousd fob a Quarrel . —It is somewhat remarkable that the Oregon , a territory on the Pacific , should have been tne cause of warlike demonstrations between England and America . — Ibid . Gross Calumny . —Sir Robert Peel ' s political opponents charge him with having deserted his principles . A more unfounded accusation could not be mado against the worthy Premier , who , it is well known , never possessed any principles whatever . — - Ibid . A Word to the Wise . — There is an old and often-quoted proverb which says , " One word to the wise is sufficient . " But the wisdom of Parliament listens to millions of words on the commonest subject , and yet cannot get itself convinced after all . — Q , uery . Is the Parliament not wise , or is the proverb not true ?—Ibid .
The Oraxge-mkn is the House of Commonb . — Lord Arthur Lennox , on his way to St . Stephen ' s the other evening , made some old woman ' s fortune , by giving her a halfpenny for two oranges . Shortly after his arrival he gave Tom Duncombe one of them , thereby acting telescopically , inasmuch as he made a far-thing present . ( O , Joe ! Joe !) Duncombe sucked it , and threw it in Sir James Graham ' s face—he ' s always casting something in the poor baronet ' s teeth —Sir James , with a benignant smile , deposited the sucked missile under his scat . The Times , with its usual beautiful simplicity , asks , "Is the circumstance a sign of reconciliation 1 and is the squeezed orange a symbol of thc price of it ? " We should say not—but if throwing an orange at anotherman ' s head be intended as a token of reconciliation , we can only consider it as another instance of " organised hypo-! crisy , "— Young Joe Miller ,
Extraordinary Resemblance . — There are two sisters in Massachusetts , twins , who are so much alike , that each of them occasionally mistakes the other for herself . The Difference between the "Fountains" in _TlUFALGAR-SQUAnE AND THI " Pumps" IN THE HOUSE of Commons . The former , dear Joe _^—and I think tlicy are right—Feel contented ivith spouting from morning 'till night , But the latter , all rules of propriety scorning , Keep spouting away aU the night until morning ; What flows from the former is sparkling and clear , But I can't say as much for thc latter , my dear . Ibid . The Reason why Adam was so Called . —Hebeing the first , and of course the only man at the time in thc world , was politely offered his choice of names , to which he _irreverently answered , that "he didn't care a damn what name was given him . ' * - '' '' A-dam ( n ) then let it be , " was the reply .
_NURS'E PEEL ' S _COMPLMKT OF MASTER ORAUAH O , dear ! O goodness gracious me ! Whatever shall I do ? 'Tis quite enough for any three The trouble I go through . The measles , hooping cough , and thrush , Are trifles to aunty ; Bnt I must always wipe and brush Tbat dirty little boy ! The plague to me that infant is , Is really unbeknown : 'Tis worse than any rheumatis , Or bruise , or broken bone _. Of all my enemies , not one I'd wish a worse employ Than tobe forced to wait upon That dirty little boy !
Within or out the House , 'tis all The same with that young Jim : There ' s not a day without a fall , Or some disgrace for him . No breakfast , lunch , —no dinner , tea , — Nor 8 upper . Icnjoy ; He always does so worrit me , That dirty little boy ! I wouldn't ' be ' his mother—no , Not for a world of gold : Now where can he expect to go J I wish * I ' coiild be told . A plaguier Uttie ' irap than that Ne'er yet wore corduroy ; That naughty , good-for-nothing brat , — That dirty little boy ! Funefc .
England Ruined . —Englishmen may not be aware ofthe calamity that has fallen upon their beloved land ; but—we cannot , we ought not , to _suppress the terrible news—England is ruined ! She is a done state : a wreck—the skeleton of a once mighty nation henceforth to take "her mournful place in history with the Phoenician and Roman empires . The cause of this vast destruction is that terrible Irishman , that fire-eating Milesian , that very hot potato , Mr . H . Grattan . It is but a veiy few days ago that that awful person declared he had done with us for ever and ever ; and this declaration he solcnmised with a thumping oath , loudly cheered at the Conciliation Hall . Then and there he swore that "he took
his leave ofthe gentlemen of England , * ' then and there he avowed his stern determination " never willingly to draw a sword in their behalf , or giye them a guinea of his money . " Wc cling to the hope that Grattan the Terrible may yet be mollified , ' for when we reflect how often and how valorously he has drawn his sword for England—when we remember how generously , yea , how magnificently , he has expended is treasure in her behalf—what can she do , how can she exist , deprived henceforth of the honourable gentleman ' s steel and gold ? If Grattan remain inexorable , our countrymen may next week ' expect , to see England in the 'Gazette , with rioteven the hope of a farthing dividend ]—R > id .
¦ very Bad Taste . —The public indignation is very strong at present about disinterring the dead . Surely Mr , Serjeant Murph _y must have been ignorant of this when he quoted in Parliament from Mr , Grant's book _\—U > id . The Free List of the Old Bailey . —Mr . Nathan is happy , to inform thc British public , and young gentlemen in particular , who are fond of strong excitement , that he has on hand a capital assortment of real gowns and wigs , which . are warranted to admit any one , who has the ' nerve to pass as a barrister , into the Court . of ihe Old -Bailey , without any questions or fee being asked . No extra charge "horrible murder . " A . first-rate _Tice-Chattf wig , which can _, be let out either for a single ment or the entire session , on _the'lowest " terms . —*/ Cambrics for gejitleihen . who ( _, the legal deception ) wish : to _weep _.-fJiid . i
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), May 3, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_03051845/page/3/
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