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' " ctock tiTSCSMi**'*'' • —'«'» i. ^r-....
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: j"*^ • "" * t^hrititmnci iSwTimft. "^Wfetmas <B afflmtir, - •" 'jtZj-'iijvv'ii"i' ---*-- ¦¦¦-- [j-j'jijgij^{ j, jQuX/rTJr'wLaXliVV* r**"* ''
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-""^ ^ WREATH. IL jnnroP"* te to t,ie se...
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'I ¦ II,
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DOUGLAS JERROLD'S SHILLING MAG AZINE. De...
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THE CONNOISSEUR. December. London: E. Ma...
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SIMMONDS'S COLONIAL MAGAZINE. December, ...
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^^^^m.mMl^j^. £.
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
' " Ctock Titscsmi**'*'' • —'«'» I. ^R-....
_tiTSCSMi _** ' *'' _—'«'» i . _^ ' r-. — THE NORTHERN STAR a ho _! ~ _y _™ _"" * _"' ¦ _ *
: J"*^ • "" * T^Hrititmnci Iswtimft. "^Wfetmas ≪B Afflmtir, - •" 'Jtzj-'Iijvv'ii"I' ---*-- ¦¦¦-- [J-J'Jijgij^{ J, Jqux/Rtjr'wlaxlivv* R**"* ''
: _j" _*^ "" _* t _^ hrititmnci _iSwTimft . " _^ _Wfetmas < B _afflmtir , - " _' _jtZj- _' _iijvv'ii " i' --- * -- ¦¦¦ -- _[ _j-j ' _jijgij _^{ j , _jQuX / _rTJr _' _wLaXliVV * r ** " * ''
-""^ ^ Wreath. Il Jnnrop"* Te To T,Ie Se...
- _""^ _^ WREATH . IL _jnnroP" * te to t , ie season t -nd certain doinp netted therewith , we cull the following bit of 150 _ _Tsense from the last number of our right trusty _^ _J _& ved friend _iM , _* - VOICE _rBOS _HAMPSHtKE ON THE FAT CATTLE SHOW . Mr . Punch , Zar , —If yon plase , _zur , I be a Hampshire " jr . I writes to you cause I knows you wunt mind _no tbeeun a scollurd , and ool excuse had spellun and _^ itbat Lookun over the peeaper tother market-day at _^ ncheiter _, I zee a count o' the Prize Cattle Show up in _lannun . I wanted to know what a sed about the pigs _\& e they was and where they came vrom . I round as * as there warn't a zingle hog vrom Hampshire among
** _¦¦_¦'___« 1—i n *__ * __• 4 _* I _« a _+ I _ rl _«*•_ - > ___*** __ . __ . It _« _^ _rtelot . You knows that , I dare zay , as well as I do ; _ind very l » ke J _^ astonis 'l at it , zummut . Tell ' ee _w _'hSi zar _We TOll £ S ia Ham Pshire breeds pigg as _niit oug ht to be , aud dwoant goo vattenun on em up till _fl _, _rt can't wag . We sez pork ought to have lane as well s ! fat , and we likes onr bihaacon strakey , Zame wi * cattle . _ff _jj _^ e ' s the sense or _razon o' stuffun and crammun a tiU 3 beant yeable to zee out o'his eyes S What is _^ _g nse o' aU that ere fat , I wants to know ! Who is _jlere as ates **! The He-cake , turmuts , manglewurzle , _j _^ bbidgeas is wasted in makun one _hnllick a monster ood g °° kee P < Jree or vour vine boxen in good _conffisbn . _TO * J . _« _" _*» they med just as _weB fat np stags aad hares and rabbuts _. ay , and pheasants and paatridges , TOr the matter o'that
Tell ee wbat , _Meoser Punch , if , ' stead o ' vlingun away „ _d provender to turn horned animals into _DanulLam-Jjrts . they was to bestow oread and mate , and taters , and _tarmnts on Christians , and make zome o' them a Httle fetter than they be , they'd do more good a precious zight ; and I ' m bound you be o' the same opinion . 1 be , Zur , your _bajient Zar vent , Jobs _Gbouis . Her * is a right hearty Christmas Song by one of onr sweetest and most popular of minstrels : —
WE'LL SING ANOTHER CHRISTMAS SONG . BY ELIZA COOK . Well ring another Christmas song , for who shall ever tire , To hear the olden ballad theme around a Christmas fire ? Tf ell sing another Christmas song , and pass the wassail cop , _Tor fountains that refresh fhe heart should never he ariedup . Ke _' er tell ns that each Yule tide brings more sdver to onr hair : Time seldom scatters balf the snow fur t quickly gathers
there . _ .-,., The goading of Ambition ' s thorns—the toiling heed of gold— ... 'lis these do more than rolling years in making ns grow old : Then shake old Christmas by the hand—in kindness let him dwell , For he ' s king of right good company , and we should treat him well . ffhy _sho-ji _* iwe let pale Discontent fling canker on the hours—Unjust regrets lurk round the soul like snakes in leafy bowers ; And though the flood of Plenty's tide upon our lot may pour , How oft the lip wiU murmur still , the horse-leech cry for " more . " We sigh for wealth—we pant for place—and getting what
we crave . We often find it enly coils fresh chains abont the slave . Tear after year may gently help to turn the daik locks white , But time ne ' er fades a flower so soon as cold and worldly blight : Then shake old Christmas by the hand—in kindness let him dwell , Tor he ' s king of right good company , and we would treat him well . Be glad—be glad—stir up the blaze , and let our spirits yield The incense that is grateful as the lilies of the field ; " Good will to aU "— 'tis sweet and rich , and helps to keep
away The _wrinkledpest of frowning brows—and mildew shades of grey . Be glad—be glad—and though we have some cypress in our wreath , Forget not there are rosebuds too , that ever peep beneath . And though long years may line the cheek , and wither up the heart , It is not Time bnt selfish Care , that does the saddest part : Then shake Old Christmas by the hand—in kindness let himdweU , For he ' s king of right good _cempao * _-, and we should treat him well .
We now come to the " great fact" of the last few days . On Saturday last was published
Z _$ e _miifktt on m i _8 _* a . vflj- _& 4 _Faivi > _$ aie of _flome , B ? CHAltES SICKENS . London ; Bradbury and Evans , 90 , Meet-street . A beautiful tale this is ; and though , a widely different , and in some respects inferior story to either the " Carol" er the " Chimes , " it is , nevertheless , a right worthy successor to both , and cannot fail to furnish entertainment , and diffuse delight , wherever it appears . Tne view * we take of Mr . Dicsess's three Christmas offerings , may be thus briefly expressed : — Thefirst ( the "Carol" ) , while exhibiting the crime and folly of grasping selfishness , at the same time teaches the great lesson , thatthe happiness of each
individual is only to be ensured by each labouring to promote the happiness of all . This moral , illustrated ly a stray perfect in every sense , makes the " Carol " amodel for Christmas stories ; and , viewed as such , the "Carol" at present stands , and probably for ever will stand , unrivalled . The second ( the " Chimes" ) , viewed politically , is the best of the author ' s works . As an exposition of the wrongs and sufferings endured by the many , and a vindication of their rights and claims to justice , —so regarded , the "Chimes" is superior to the "Carol . " Mr . Dickets ' s present production , considered as a Christmas story , will not bear comparison with , the "Carol ; " indeed it might have been published at
Midsummer instead of Christmas , as it contains nothing relatitng to Christmas , excepting a slight description of wintiy weather , the time of the story _bemglaidinjhemonthof January . Viewed politically , the present stoiy is not to be placed in competition with the "Chimes ; " indeed it is a totally different story , ilr . Dickexs , in his " Cricket on the Hearth , " has devoted himself wholly to the work of portraying home-scenes and home-feelings . Love , jealousy , and parental affection , these are the themes of which the " Cricket " _jsings ; and inferior , in many respects , as this siory is to both its predecessors , it , nevertheless , has beauties of its own to which neither the " Carol" nor the " Chimes" can lay claim .
The stoiy is divided into three divisions , called "Chirps . " We begin at the beginning , and take our first quotation from
_€$ itg i & e _iritst . If the reader has an eye and ear for poetry , he will not read much of the beautiful description of the dear delightful domestic scene , contained in the fol lowing extract , before he finds himself gratified to his heart ' s fulness : —
THE SETTLE AM ) THE CRICKET , _3 Irs . Peerybingle going ont into the raw twilight and clicking over the wet stones in a pair of pattens that worked innumerable rough impressions of the first proposition in Euclid all about the yard—Mrs . Peerybingle filled the Kettle at the water batt . Presently returning , less the pattens : and a good deal less , for they were tall and Mrs . Peerybingle was bat short : she set the Kettle on the fire . In . doing which she lost her temper , or mislaid it for an instant ; for the water—being uncomfortably cold , and in that slippy , slushy , sleety sort of state wherein it seems to penetrate through every land of substance , patten rings included—had laid hold of Mrs . _Perrybingle ' S toes , and even splashed her legs . And when we rather plume ourselves ( with reason too )
upon onr legs , and keep ourselves particularly neat in point of stockings , we find this , for tbe moment , hard to bear . Besides , the Kettle was aggravating and obstinate . It wonldn't allow itself to be adjusted on the top bar ; it wouldn't hear of accommodating itself kindly to the knobs of coal ; it would lean forward with a drunken air , and dribble , a very Idiot of a kettle , onthe heart-. It was quarrelsome ; and hissed and spluttered morosely at the fire . To sum up all , the lid , resisting Mrs . Peeryhingle ' s fingers , first of all turned topsy-turvy , and then , _iritk an _ingenious pertinacity deserving ofa better cause , dived adeways in—down to the very bottom of the Kettle . And the hull of the Royal George has never made half the monstrous resistancein coming ont ofthe water , which the lid of that Settle employed against Mrs .
Pee . -ybing l _^ before she got it np again . It looked sullen and pig-headed enough , even then ; carrying its handle with an air of defiance , and cocking its spout pertly and mockingly at Mts . _Peeiybingle , as if it said , "I won ' t boil . Xothing shall induce aef BntMrs . PeeiyWngle , with restored good humour , dusted her chubby little hands against each other , and sat down before the Kettle : laughing . Meantime , the jolly blaze uprose and fell , flashing and gleaming on the little Haymaker at the top of the Dutch clock , until one might have thought he stood stock still before the Moorish Palace , and nothing was in motion bat the flame . He was on the move , however , and had his spasms , two to the second , all right and regular . But his sufferings htful to be
when the clock was goingto strike , were frig - hold ; and when a Cnckoo looked out of a trap-door in the Palace , and gave notice sis times , it shook him , each time , like a spectral voice—or like a something wiry plucking at his legs . It was not until a violent commotion and a whirring noise among the weights and ropes below him had quite subsided , that this terrified Haymaker became himself again . _Xor was be startled _""iUiout reason ; for these rattling , bony skeletons of Clocks are _reiy disconcerting in their operation , and * _Wjader very much how any set ofmen , but most ' of all how Dutchmen , can have had a liking to invent _ftem . For _fiere is a popular belief ft *?* _&**& - " en love broad cases and much clothing for their _o _*« i lowar selves ; and they might know _hetter than
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Liu ?* ., ctock « «» _wy lank and unprotected , tS _^^ _' _^^^^ _$ at the Kettle began to spend the _evemng . Now it wae , _tfimhTKettlirgrow _JLr - a ° d musical ) beSan t 0 have . irrepressible _gurghngs m its throat , and to indulge in short vocal snorts , which it checked in the bud , as if it hadu't quite _ma-le up , ts mmd yet , to be good company ; JfoW lt _\ ag that . « ft , r _tw ? or three such vain attempts to stifle its . convivial sentiments , it threw off all moroseness , all re ! serve , and burst into a stream of song so cosy and Ml * _Sf T i _" _. S tu _* Sale yet formed the least A _^ _JL _^ J _^ V Bless y ° * _vn might have un . derstood it like a book-better than some books you aud forth in a light cloud , which merril y aud graceful _^ _?!'* _£ l hen hU _»? _* ¦ ? * _cMnmWner leave th « r _ , ___ . _! , _ .
__»_ - _ as m own domestic heaven , it trolled its song with that strong energy of cheerfulness , that its iron body hummed and stirred upon the fire ; and the lid i _& u , the recently rebellions hd-such is the influence of a bright example -performed a sort of jig , and clattered like a deaf and dumb young cymbal that had never known the use of its twin brother . That tbis song of the Kettle ' s was a song of invitation and welcome to somebody ont of _doorsto somebody at that moment coming on , towards the snug small home and the crisp fire—there is no doubt whatever . Mrs . Peerybingle knew it , perfectly , as she sat musing before the hearth . It ' s a dark night sang the Kettle , and the rotten leaves are lying by the way ; and above , all is mist and darkness , and below aU is mire and clay ; and there'sonly one relief in all the sad and
murky air _; and I don't know that it is one , for _rfs nothmgbuta glare , of deepand angry crimson , where the sun and wind together , s _„ ta brand upon the clouds , for being _gudty of such weather ; and the widest open country is a long dull streak of black ; and there ' s hoarfrost on the finger-post , and thaw anon the track ; and the ice it isn ' t water , and the water isn ' t free ; and you couldn ' t say that anything is what it ought to bebut he s coming , coming , coming !—And here , if you like the Cricket Din chime in ! with a Chirrup , Chirrup , Chirrup ofsuch magnitude , byway of chorus ; with a voice , so a * _stoundingly disproportionate to its size , as compared with the Kettle ; ( size ; you couldn ' t See it !) that if it had then and there burst itself like an overcharged gun if it had fallen a victim on the spot , and chirits
ropped little body into fifty pieces : it would have seemed a natural and inevitable consequence , for which it had expressly laboured . The Kettle had had the last of itssolo performance . Itpersevered with undiminished ardour ; but the Cricket took first fiddle andkept it . Good Heaven , how it chirped ! Its shrill , sharp , piercing voice resounded through the house , and seemed to twinkle in the outer darkness like a Star . There was on indescribable little trill and tremble in it at its loudest , which suggested its bang carried off its legs , and made to leap again , by its own intense enthusiasm . Yet they went very wall together , the Cricket and the Kettle . The burden of the song was still the same ; and louder , louder , louder still , they sang it in their emulation . * * # There was all the excitement of a race about it . Chirp
chirp , chirp ! Cricket a mile ahead . Hum , bum , humm—m ! Kettle making play in the distance , like a great top . Chirp , chirp , chirp ! Cricket round the corner . Hum , hum , hum—m—m ! Kettle sticking to him in bis own way ; no idea of giving in . Chirp , chirp , chirp ! Cricket _freBher than ever . Hum , hum , hum—m—m ! Kettle slow and steady . Chirp , chirp , chirp ! Cricket going in to finish him . Hum , hum , hum—m—m ! Kettle not to be finished . Until , at last , they got so jumbled together , in the hurry-skurry , helter-skelter , of the match , that whether the Kettle chirped and the Cricket hummed , or the Cricket chirped and the Kettle hummed , or they both chirped and both bummed , it would have taken a clearer
head than your * s or mine to have decided with anything like certainty . But of this , there is no doubt : that the Kettle and the Cricket , at one and the same moment , and by some power of amalgamation best known to themselves , sent , each , his fireside song of comfort streaming into a ray of the candle that shone ont through the window ; and a . long way down the lane . And this light , bursting on a certain person who , on the instant , approached towards it through the gloom , expressed the whole thing to him , literally in a twinkling , and cried , " Welcome home , old fellow ! Welcome home , my Boy !" This end attained , the Kettle , being dead beat , boiled over , and was taken off the fire .
JOHN PEERTBLVGtK , TIIE CARRIES , At this moment Mrs . Peerybingle runs tothe door to meet the person whose approach had been so cheerily heralded by the kettle and the cricket . Thb person , aa might be anticipated , is Mrs . Peerybingh ' s bigger half , her husband , a worthy but somewhat stolid personage , possessing an excellent heart , but lumbering and slow in his ideas ; often committing half a joke , but never finishing it . Mrs . Peerybingle , as already described , is very little , and very young , her husband , who is a carrier , is both much bigger and much older . Speaking of the honest carrier , Mr . Dickens beautifully observes : — "Oh Mother Nature ! give thy children the true poetry of heart , thathiditselfintbispoorcarricr ' sbreast , andwe ean bear to have them talking prose , and leading lives of prose ; and bear to bless thee for their company !" In allusion we suppose to her littleness , the carrier
farailarly calls his wife "Dot" ( her real name is Mary ); a baby appears in this scene with its nurse , a queer looking character , named " Tilly Slowboy , " who has " a rare and surprising talent for getting the baby into difficulties , " by letting it fall , or bringing its head in contact with deal doors , dressers , stairrails , bed-posts , & c . Numerous little endearments pass between the husband and wife which we must pass over . The Cricket on the Hearth in the meantime is chirruping away louder than ever , to the great delight of both "John" and his wife , the latter remarking that " to have a Cricket on the Hearth is the luckiest thing in all the world . " " Boxer , " the dog , is a prominent character in this scene , and will be a great favourite with the reader . The Carrier is seated at his meal , his wife is busying herself in arranging the parcels , when putting the question " so these are all the parcels , are they , John _?''"
" 'That ' s an , * said John . Why—no—I—' laying down bis knife and fork , and taking a long breath , ' I declare—I ' ve clean forgotten the old gentleman ! ' 'The old gentleman ? ' 'In the cart , ' said John . 'He was asleep , among the straw , the last time I saw him . I ' ve very nearly remembered him twice , since I came in ; but he went out of my head agaiu . Halloa ! Yahip there rouse up ! That ' s my hearty !" The " oldgentleman" had "longwhite hair ; good features ; singularly bold and well defined ; and dark , bright , penetrating eyes . " The stranger appears to be extremely deaf , and the Carrier and his wife have greatdimculty in makinghim comprehend their replies to his questions . Another character is now introduced , one " Caleb Plummer , " a toymaker , who , never losing sight of his profession , " misses no
opportunity of turningjpassmg circumstances to account ; thus having an order for " barking dogs , " he requests permission of Mrs . Peerybingle to be allowed to pinch Boxer ' s tail , that he may make Boxer bark , that so , in making liis toy-dogs , he may be enabled to go as close to Natur' as he possibly can , for sixpence 1 The reader must not suppose , however , that Caleb ' s mind being thus intent on business , that therefore poor Caleb is a huxtering money-grubber ; a very different character is he . The poor working toymaker has an employer , the evil geniusiof the story , by name " Tackleton , " pretty generally known aa " Gruff and Tackleton "—for that was the firm , though Gruff had been bought out long ago ; ouly leaving his name , and , as some said , his nature , according to its Dictionary , meaning , in the business .
TACKIETON , THE TOT MEECUANT , was a man whose vocation had been quite misunderstood by his Parents aRd Guardians . If they had made him a Money-Lender , or a sharp Attorney , or a Sheriff ' s Ofneer , or a Broker , might have sown his discontented oats in his youth , and after having had the full-run of himself in ill-natured transactions , might have turned out amiable , at last , for the sake of a little freshness and novelty . But , cramped and chafing in the peaceable pursuit of toy-making , be was a domestic Ogre , who had been living oa children all his life , and was their implacable enemy . He despised all toys ; wouldn't have bought one for the world ; delighted , in his malice , to insinuate grim expres sions into the faces of bro _wn-paper farmers who drove pigs to market , _brllmen who advertisedlostlawy ers ' consciences , moreablc old ladies who darned stockings or carved pies ;
and other like samples of his stock in trade . In appalling masks ; hideous , hairy , red-eyed Jacks in Boxes ; Vampire Kites ; demoniacal Tumblers who wouldn't lie down , and were perpetually flying forward , to stare infants out of countenance ; his soul perfectly revelled . They were his only relief , and safetyvalve . He was great in such inventions . Anything suggestive of a Pony-nightmare , was delicious to him . He had even lost money ( and he took to that toy very kindly ) by getting up Goblin slides for -magic lanterns , whereon the Powers of Darkness were depicted as a sort of supernatural shell-fish , with human faces . In intensifying the portraiture of Giants , he had sunk quite a little capital ; and , though no painter himself , he could indicate , for the instruction of his artists , with a piece of chalk , a certain furtive leer for the countenances of those monsters , that
was safe to destroy the peace of mind of any young gentleman between the ages of six and _elevea , for the whole Christmas or Midsummer Vacation . * ffhat he was in toys , he was ( as most men are ) in all other things . You may easily suppose , therefore , that within the great green cape , which reached down to the calves of Ids legs , tliere was buttoned up to the chin an uncommonly pleasant fellow ; and that he was abont as choice a spirit and as agreeable a companion , as ever stood in ' a pair of bullbeaded looking boots with mahogany coloured tops . And this delightful gentleman was about to be married , married too to a young ami beautiful woman , one " May Fielding , " who , despairing of the return of an absent lover , and persecuted by the
importunities of her silly but " genteel" mother , bid reluctantly consented to this unnatural union . lachleton being in his element when trying to make other folks miserable , attempts , in a conversation _M-th the Carrier , to make honest John doubt that he ( the Carrier ) is really so happy with his good Httle wife as he says he his . While this convereation is being carried on " aside , " all parties present are startled and alarmed by hysteric screams from little Dot . This first frightens , and then annoys , the Carrier , who , somehow , cannot help connecting his wife ' s strange demeanour with the presence of the old deaf stranger . His perplexity is further increased , _TacMetonznd Caleb having departed , by the stranger unexpectedly requesting permission to sleep in tbe
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Carrier ' s house for that night , and which reqliestithe assents to , even before the Carr ier cafisaTaye or no . lhe stranger retires for the night , and John turns to his _jipe for relief from his perplexities , and finds it _- _~
_HAPPT VISIONS . Then Dot : quite weUagain , she said : quite well again arranged the great chair in the chimney-corner for her husband ; filled his pipe and gave it him ; and took her usual httle stool beside him on the hearth . She always would sit on that little stool ; I ih nk she must have had a kind of notion that it was a coaxing , wheedling , little stool . She was out and out , the very best filler ofa pipe , I should say , in the four quarters of the globe . To set her put that chubby little _finger iu the bowl , and then blow down the pipe to clear the tube ; and when she had done 80 , affect to think that there was reall y something in the tube , and blow a dozen times , and hold it to her eye like a telescope , with a most provoking twist in her capital Httle face , as she looked down it ; was quite n brilliant thing . As to the tobacco , she was _perfect mistress of the subject ; and her li b'hting of the pipe , with a wisp of paper , when the Carrier had it in his
mouthgoing so very near his nose , and yet not scorching itwas Art ; high Art , Sir . And tlie Cricket and the Kettle , turning up agaiB , acknowledged it ! The _bright fire , Waxing up again , acknowledged it ! The litte Mower onthe clock , in his unheeded work , _acknowledged it ! The Carrier , in his smoothing forhead and expanding face , acknowledged it , the readiest of all . And as he soberly and thoughtfull y puffed at his old pipe ; and as the Dutch clock ticked ; and as the red fire gleamed ; and as the Cricket chirped ; that Genius of his Hearth and Home ( for such the Cricket was ) came out , in fairy shape , into the room , and summoned many forms of Home about him . Dots of all ages , and of all sizes , filled the chamber . Dots who were merry children , running on before him , gathering flowers , in the fields ; coy Dots , halfshrinkingfrom , halfyieldingto , the pleadingof his own rough image ; newly married Dots , alighting at the door
, and taking wondering possession of the household keys : motherly little Dots attended by fictitious Sloivbojsi bearing babies to be christened ; matronly Dots , still young and blooming , watching Dots of daughters , as they dauced at rustic balls ; fat Dots encircled and beset by troops of rosy grand-children ; withered Dots , who leaned on sticks , and tottered as they crept along . Old Carriers , too , appeared , and blind old Boxers lying at their feet ! aud newer carts with younger drivers ( "Peerybingle Brothers on the tilt" ); and sick old Carriers , tended by the gentlest hands ; and graves of dead and gone old Carriers , green in the churchyard . And as the Cricket shewed him all these things—he saw them plainly , though his eyes were fixed upon the fire—the Carrier ' s heart grew light and happy , and he thanked his Household Gods with all his might , and cared no more for Gruff and Tackleton than you do .
© http the "Seconn Makes us more intimately acquainted with the eccentric but noble-hearted Caleb Plummer , and introduces us to his daughter who is blind . She is not only physically blind , but she is also mentally blind to the circumstances connected with her father and her home . The former she believes to be a hale , hearty , and happy man , and the latter a little paradise of neatness and comfort ; whereas tbe reverse of these is the truth in both cases . Her delusion arises from the fact of her father having , through pity and intense love for his child , so represented all things to her as to ensure her happiness , at the expense to himself of additional pain and trouble . A most interesting couple are
THE TOT MAKES AND BIS BLIND DAUGHTER . The Blind Girl never knew that ceilings were discoloured ; walls blotched , and bare of plaster here and there ; high crc 7 ices unstopped , and widening every day j beams mouldering and tending downward . The Blind Girl never knew that iron was rusting , wood rotting , paper peeling off ; the very size , und shape , and true proportion of the dwelling , withering away . The Blind Girl never knew that ugly shapes of delf and earthenware were on the board ; that sorrow and faiat-heartedness were in the house ; that Caleb ' s scanty hairs were turning greyer and more grey before her sightless face . The Blind Girl never knew they had a master , cold , exacting and uninterested : never knew that Tackleton was Tackleton in short ; but lived inthe belief of an eccentric humourist who loved to have his jest with them ; and while he was
the Guardian Angel of their lives , disdained to hear ont word of thankfulness . And all was Caleb ' s doing ; all the doing of her simple father ! But he too had a Oricktt on his Hearth ; and listening sadly to its _musie when the motherless Blind Child was very young , that Spirit had inspired hiin with the thought that even her great depriration might be almost changed into a blessing , and the girl made happy by these little means . For all the Cricket Tribe are potent Spirits , even though the people who hold converse with them do not know it ( wliich is frequently the case ); and there are not in the Unseen World , Voices more gentle and more true ; that may be so implicitly relied on , or that are so certain to give none but _tenderest counsel ; as the Voices in which the Spirits ofthe Fireside and the Hearth , address themselves to human kind .
Into this very poor , but—at least to one of the inmates thereof—charmed home , the evil genius of the story , Tackleton , thrusts his ill-looking head , catching poor Caleb in the fact of pretending to be ven * merry , and singing something about a Sparkling Bowl . Soon after the appearance of this worthy , company more pleasant arrive , in the persons of Mr . and Mrs . Peerybingle , who regularly , _ence a fortnight since their marriage , have been used to hold an indoor _Tic-Nic at the toymaker ' s . May Melding and her " genteel" mother are also present , together with the self-invited delectable Tackleton . The ride in the Carrier ' s cart of the Peerybingle ' _s to Caleb Plummer '' s ( the two parties live in separate towns or villages ) is most graphically described . Here is a charming picture of our four-footed friend
BOXES . Then , Boxer gave occasion to more good-natured recognitions of and by the Carrier , than half a dozen Christians could have done ! Everybody knew him , all along the road , especially the fowls and pigs , who , when they saw him approaching with his body all on one side , and his ears pricked up inquisitively , and that knob of a tail making the most of itself in the air , immediately withdrew into remote back settlements , without waiting for the honour" of a nearer acquaintance , He had business everywhere ; going down all the turnings , looking into all tbe wells , bolting in and out of all the cottages , daihing into the midst of all the Dame-Schools , fluttering all the pigeons , magnifying the tails of all the cats , and trotting into the public-houses like a regular customer . Where _, ever he went , somebody or other might have been heard to cry , " Halloa ! Here ' s Boxer !"
At length all parties are seated at the Pic-Nic board , _( _rnyfand Tackleton doing the agreeable , and about as much at home as a fresh young salmon on the top of the Great Pyramid ! A regular Dog in the Manger—he could'nt laugh himself , and when others laughed he took it into his head tbat tliey must be _laughing at him . We are compelled to pass over much that is beautiful , and come at once to a striking scene , which , however , we must outline in a few words . In the course of the evening Tackleton taking the carrier aside , intimates that he has something most important to disclose to him , and takes him to a window , looking through which he sees
THE " OLD MAN" AND " DOt !" He saw her with the old man ; old no longer , but erect and gallant , bearing in his hand the false white hair that had won his way into their desolate aud miserable home . He saw her listening to him , as he bent his head to whisper in her ear ; and , suffering him to clasp her round the waist , as they moved slowly down the dim wooden gallery towards the door by which they had _entered it . He saw them stop , and saw her turn—to have the face , the face he loved so , so presented to his view!—and saw her , with her own hand , adjust the lie upon his head , laughing , as she did it , at his unsuspicious nature ! The poor Carrier's agony may he conceived . The party shortly after breaks up , and the Carrier and his wife return home .
To render clear what follows , we should premise that , previously to the Carrier discovering his wife and the pretended old man so suspiciously together , the stranger has engaged to take up his abode at the Carrier ' s for a time , where he now is , asleep , or supposed to be so . The opening of
_© Ijftp the _tSfl & fifl is thc most powerfully written portion of the story . Though the extract we are about to give is lengthy it needs no excuse , ( unless , indeed , we excuse ourselves to the author , for what he may consider tlu great liberty we are taking with his work in quoting so freely from it ) , its power and beauty _sufficieatly commend it .
THE BNHAPPT HUSBANn . The Dutch clock in the corner struck Ten , when the Carrier sat down by his fireside . So troubled and _griafrrorn , that he seemed to scare the Cuckoo , who , having cut his ten melodious announcements as short as possible , plunged back into the Moorish Palace again , and clapped his little door behind him , as if the unwonted spectacle were too much for his feelings . If the liitl ; Haymaker had been armed with the sharpest of scythe * , and had cut at every stroke into the Carrier's heart , he never could have gashed and wounded it ,, as Dot ba ! done . It was a heart so full of love for her ; so boun 1 up and held together by innumerable thn a ' _. s of winnin : remembrance , spun from the daily working of her many qualities of endearment ; it was a heart in which she had enshrined herself so gently and so closely ; a heart so
single and so earnest in its Truth : so strong in right , so weak in wrong : that it could cherish neither passion nor revenge at first , and had only room to hold the broken image of its Idol . But slowly , slowly ; as the Carrier sat brooding on bis hearth , now cold and dark ; other and fiercer thoughts began to rise within him , as au angry wind comes rising in the night . The Stranger was beneath his outraged roof . Three steps would take him to his chamber door . One blowwould beat itiu . " Youmight do Murder before you know it , " Tackleton had said . How coul _3 it bt Murder , if he gave the Villain time to grapple with him hand to hand ! He was the younger man . It was an ill-timed thought , bad for the dark mood of his mind . It was an angry thought , goading * him to some ' avenging act , that should change the eheeiiul house into a haunted place which lonely travellers would dread to pass by night : and where the timid would . see shadows struggling
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_S _^ . _y _# _*^>^ ow _«^ h 5 a T tfi i Bio < m was dim , and hear _3 P » . the _> tormy weather .. He was tl _^ ger . num . ies , yes ; gome lover who had won the'Heart that A _« had never touched . Some lover of her early choice : of whom she had thought and dreamed : for whom she had pi „ ed and pined : when he had fancied hersohappv iy ms side . Oh agony to think ofit ! She had been above stairs with the Baby , getting it to bed . Ashe sat oroodmg on the hearth , she came close beside Ilim , Without his _knowledga—in the turning of the rack of his great misery , he lost all other soundsand put her little stool at his fe « t . He only knew it , when he felt her hand upon his own , and saw tier looking up into his face . With wonder ! No . It was his first impression , and he was fain to look at her again , to set it right . No , not with wonder . With an eager and inquiring look ; but not with wonder . At first it w « s alarmed and serious ; then it changed into a
strange , wild , dreadful smile of recognition of his thoughts ; then _tlere was nothing but her clasped hands on her brow , and her bent head , and her falling hair . Though the power of Omnipotence had been his to wield at that moment , he had too much of its Diviner property of Mercy in his breast , to have turned one feather's weight of it against her . But he could not bear to see her crouching down upon the little seat where he had often looked on her , with love and pride , ao innocent and gay ; aud when she rose aud left him , sobbing as she went , he felt it a relief to have the vacant place beside him rather than her so long cherished presence . This in itself was anguish keeuer than all ; reminding him how desolate he was become , and how thc great bond ofhis life was rent asunder . The more he felt this , and the more he knew he could have better borne to see her lying prematurely dead before him with her little child upon her breast , the higher and the stronger rose his wrath against his en » my .
TEMPTATION AND DELIVERANCE . He looked ahout him for a weapon . There was a Gun , hanging on the wall . He took it down , and moved a pace or two towards the door ofthe perfidious Stranger ' s room . He knew the gun was loaded . Some shadowy dea that it ivas just to shoot this man like a Wild Beast , seized him ; and dilated in hiB mind until it grew into a monstrous demon in complete possession of him , casting OUt all milder thoughts and setting up its undivided empire . That phrase is wrong . Not casting out his milder thoughts , but artfully transforming them . Changing them into _sourges to drive him on . Turning water into blood , _ _ove into hate , Gentleness into blind
ferocity . Her image , sorrowing , humbled , but still pleading to his tenderness nnd mercy with resistless power , never left his mind ; but staying there , it urged him to the door ; raised the weapon to his shoulder ; fitted and nerved his linger to the trigger ; and cried " Kill him ! In his Bed ! " He reversed the Gun to beat the stock upon the door ; he already held it lifted in tbe air ; some indistinct design was in his thoughts of calling out to him , to fly for God's sake , by the window—when , guddenly , the struggling fire illuminated the whole chimney with a glow of light ; and the Cricket on the Hearth began to chirp 1 No sound he could have heard ; no human voiee , not even her ' s , could so have moved and softened liim . The artless words in which she had told
him of her love for this same Cricket , were once more freshly _spoken ; her trembling , earnest manner at the moment , was'again befqiehim ; her pleasant voice—oh what a voice it was for making household music atthe fireside of an honest m an;—thrilled through and through his better nature , and awoke it into life and action . He recoiled from the door , like a man walking in his sleep , awakened from a frightful dream ; nnd put the Gun aside . Clasping his hands before his face , he then sat down again beside the fire , and found relief in tears .
THE CEICKET AND THE FAIRIES . The Cricket on the Hearth came out into the room , and stood in Fairy shape before him . " I love it , " said the Fairy Voice , repeating what he well remembered , " for the many times I bave heard It , and the many thoughts its harmless music has given me . " " She said so ! " cried the Carrier . " True ! " "This has been a happy Home . John ; and 1 love the Cricket for its sake !" . "It has been , Heaven _knows , " returned the Carrier . " She made it happy , always—until now . " " So ' gracefully sweettempered ; so domestic , joyful , busy , and light-hearted !" said the Voice . " Otherwise I never could have loved her ns I did , " returned the Carrier . The Voice , correcting him , said , " Do . " The Carrier repeated " as I did . " But not firmly . His faltering tongue resisted his control ,
and would speak in its own way , for himself and him The Figure , in an attitude of invocation , raised its hand and said : " Upon your own hearth "— "The hearth she has blighted , " interposed the Carrier . " The hearth she has—how _often!—ilesscd and brightened , " said , the Cricket : "the hearth which , but for her , were only a few stones and bricks and rusty bars , but which has been , through her , the Altar of your Home ; on wliich you have nightly sacrificed some petty passion , selfishness , or care , and offered up the homage of a tranquil mind , a trusting nature and an overflowing heart ; so that tho smoke from this poor chimney has gone upward with a better fragrance than the richest incense that is burnt before the richest shrines in all the gaudy Temples of this world!—upon your own
hearth ; in its quiet sanctuary ; surrounded by its gentle influences and associations ; hear her ! hear me ! Hear everything that speaks the language of your hearth and home I" " And pleads for her' " enquired the Carrier , " All things that speak the language of your hearth and home , must plead for her !" returned the Cricket . "For theyspeak the Truth . " And while the Carrier , __ with his head upon his hands , continued to sit meditating in his chair , the _Presencestood beside hira ; suggesting his i _* _efiections by its . power , and . preaeuting them before him , as in a Glass or Picture . ' It was not a solitary Presence . From the hearthstone , from the chimney , from tho clock _, the pipe , the ktttle , and the cradle ; from the floor , the
walls , the ceiling , and the _stuirs ; from the cart without and the cupboard within , and the household implements ; from everything and ever place with which she had ever been familiar , and with which she had ever entwined one recollection of herself in he ;* unhappy husband ' s mind Fairies came trooping forth . Not to stand beside him as the Cricket did , but to busy and bestir themselves . To do all honour to Her image . To pull hira by the skirts and point to him when it appeared . To cluster round it , a _« d embrace It , and strew flowers for It to tread on . To try io crown its fair hend with their tiny hands . To show that they were fond ofit and loved it ; and that there was not one ugly , wicked , or accusatory creature to claim _knowledge of it—none but their playful and
approving selves . " For the remainder of this pow erfully-written description of tho poor Carrier ' s jealous thoughts and reflections , we must refer the reader to the work itself . Finally the unfortunate husband ' s bettei nature triumphs , and while he pities his wife , he blames himself for his present misery , in having married one so much younger than himself , at the same time that her heart , as he now feels assured , was engaged to another of her own age . Early in the morning ( the Carrier has sat by the fireside all night ) Tackleton arrives , evidently with the charitable intent of making himself happy (?) by witnessing the Carrier ' s misery . Shortly afterwards it ia
discovered that the deceiving stranger has clandestinely left the house . The Carrier and Tackleton engage in conversation , in the course of which the former expatiates upon his own selfishness and folly in marrying poor little " Dot" so much younger , and , in many respects , so much unlike himself . lie expresses his unabated love for his wife , but determined to release her from all connexion with himself , he declares his intention of sending her home to her father and mother , but adds , that as long as he may live he shall love her to the last . This conversation has been overheard by the wife , unobserved by the husband . " Dot" begs that he will wait tlil the clock has struck again . He assents , and now comes tiie denouement .
Before the clock strikes , Caleb Plummer and Bertha ( the blind girl ) arrive ; a most affecting sceue occurs between these two , in whicli the father undeceives his poor blind daughter as to all her delusions , but this we must not attempt to describe . Presently thc wheels of a carriage are heard , the carriage stops , and in another moment a young man rushes into the room , bearing with him May Fielding . This young man proves to be the sailor-son of Caleb Plummer supposed to have long since died in the " Golden South Americas . " Caleb and Bertha- are in a moment made happy by the recovery of a long-lost son and brother , and as quickly the three are locked in each others arms . At this moment the clock strikes , and the Carrier enters . Advancing to meet the sailor , he
recognises the features of the pretended deaf old man , who had caused hira so much trouble . Explanations ensue , in the midst of which Tackleton , who has lost May Fielding , arrives , to claim that young lady to accompany him to church . She declines , her name being no longer May Fielding , but May Plummer , she having made tlie change that morning by marrying the sailor . Edward Plummer hearing , on his return to England , that his sweetheart ( May ) was about to bestow her hand upon Tackleton , had determined to ascertain if the match was by her own desire , and if not , to take steps to prevent it . Hence his assuming the disguise , hence the hysteric screams uttered by Mrs . Peerybingle on the night of his arrival , she having recognised him . Hence the secret meeting in
_Tacfcletons warehouse , to concert measures to save May and foil Tackleton ; nnd hence too , the jealousy and misery suffered by the poor Carrier . The rapturous i _*< conciliation of honest John with his wife , must be read in full to be enjoyed ; and never have we read anything wc have more enjoyed . The good little " Dot , " crying , smiling , breathless in her haste to clear herself of the taint implied in her husband ' s misgivings . The dumbfoundered condition of John , his penitence , his anxiety to atone for his foolishness ; the little woman keeping him off at arm ' s length , and crying , " Not yet , John , don't love me yet , John , till I have explained all ; " and finally , John , no longer to be kept back , hugging " Dot" in his arms : —all combine to form a picture of domestic love , joy , and overflowing happiness , such as Charles Dickexs only could picture , and only his magic pen describe .
Lastly , all are made happy ; even the " genteel " mother of May , whose pride is conquered by hei daughter ' s love ; more than lier , even Tackleton relents , and becomes soft-hearted and mirthful _(' . ); attends thc wedding-dinner ofhis wife that was to be , gives the . wedding-cake , he had bought for his own marriage to the new-married couple , and brings toys for the baby , the very opposite too of ucly . Ia short
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he becomes a changed man . The whole concludes with . _» glorious dauce , in which Edward Plummer wad May take the lead , followed by John the Carrier , and " Dot , " und all others present , ' even including the reformed TaekUton , and the inimitable Tilly Slowboy , whose dancing , like that of Tiotty Veck ' s , is like unto no other persons , and ; therefore , must be deemed something original , if . not very captivating . Perhaps , the only uhlikelyidea in tlie story , is the conversion of Tackleton . Such conversions but very rarely take place , and we should fancy are still more rarely effected by the means set forth in this story .
lo deprive a selfish old grip of his intended bride , at the moment he is about to lead his victim to the altar ( of sacrifice ) , is a most unlikely means of mollifying his heart , andamending his feelings . But no matter , the reformation of Tackleton only proves that the author would have the real world tilled with the good , the bright , the beautiful , with no alloy of baseness andevil . Hence , in the little domestic paradise lie has idealised in this story , he has left no one creeping , crawling tiling to mar its beauty ; on the contrary , the very genius of evil , as embodied iu the loy-merchant _, he transforms into an angel of light .
To Mr . _Dickkxs we return our heart-felt thanks for this new gift to his fellow creatures , assured as we are , that no one can become acquainted with its lessons of sympathy and goodness without becoming better and happier therefrom . We take our leave of this little book heartily recommending it to our readers , reminding each and all of good , sweet , dear little " Dot's" amiable superstition—a superstition in which we must share—that " To have a * _Cbicket on the Hearth' is the luckiest thing in all the world !"
'I ¦ Ii,
' I ¦ II ,
Douglas Jerrold's Shilling Mag Azine. De...
DOUGLAS _JERROLD'S SHILLING MAG AZINE . December . Londou : Punch Office , 92 , Fleet-street . We must apologise for not noticing the December number of this excellent magazine earlier in the month . Unfortunately , too , we are now prevented giving it more than a cursory notice ; but this is not of much importance , seeing that we have so often , and at considerable length , devoted our columns to making known its merits and beauties to our readers . In the present number wo have a continuation ofthe
editor ' s story , " St . Giles and St . James , " rich with gems of thought and feeling , so honourable to the head and heart of Douglas _Jehhou _) . " The Social Position and Character of the Bar . " "An Accomplished Villain , " '' The _Englishman in Prussia , " '' The Hedgehog Letters , " and the continuation of "A History for Young England" ( Henry the Second and his Sons ) , are all admirable articles , written with great ability , and breathing the purest and loftiest spirit . The " reviews , '' though brief , are well written . We give the following extracts from the editor ' s story : —
GOLD . After mueh caution , Mr . Tangle approached a closet , unlocked the door , and , pointing to an iron-bound box , observed " All is safe—all new , Mr . Folder—all sparkling and burning from the mint . What a beautiful substance is gold ouly to look at ! " cried Tangle , with enthusiasm _; at the same moment unlocking thc box , and lifting the lid . "There ' s a blaze ! " he cried , with a voluptuous smacking of the mouth . ' "How they twinkle ! " he added ; whereupon the parliamentary agent clutched a handful of bright guineas , and poured them from hand to hand , bis eye catching yellow lustre from tbe golden shower . And thus for some brief minute or two did
Tungle play with minted gold . We are told that snakecharmers of the east are wont to ensnare the reptiles with dulcet music . The snake Apollo plays a melody npon some magic pipe ; whereupon torpid snakes coiled in holes and crannies gradually untwist themselves , and feel their blood quicken and their scales rustle , and they glide and undulate towards the sound—readily as school-girls unto a ball . Great is the voice of gold . ; What a range tod it has ! Now , breathing the profoundest notes of _persuasion—deep and earnest as a . hermit ' s homily—and now , carrying away the heart , and senses with its light and laughing trills , delicious , fascinating as the voice of bacchante . Gold , too , is the earth ' s great ventriloquist , speaking from and to the belly of immortal man , and enslaving and juggling him with its many voices . " MAN" " IMMOBTAMTI" " _COINIVQ . "
As the old war horse pricks his ears at the murderous music of tbe trumpet—as some retired and erewbile sharp attorney , reading some successful ju _& gle , juggled in the name of justice , feels his heart tiickle as it ran red ink , and dreams himself again iu court—so did the sound of the gold , as it fell from hand to hand , awaken in the soul of Tangle all its Flutcan strength . Nay , his soul for a moment left him , and docked and dived , and took its liquid _plaasure in that golden river—that Paetolus embanked in a box—like a triton wallowing iu a foamy sea , lie folthe wag in his true element—and eloquence flowed from his lips , free as a silver thread of rivulet from some old granite-hearted rock . " Wonderful invention , gold coin , sir ! Wonderful thing ! If there ' s anything , sir , that shows man to be the creature that he is , —it ' s this , Scholars , when they want to raise a man above th *
monkey—Heaven forgive the atheists—call him a laughing animal—a tool-making animal , a cooking animal . Sir , they ' ve all missed the true meaning ; they should cnll him a coining animal . I ' ve thought of the matter much , and this "—and Tangle rattled the coin— " this is the true weapon against the atheists . Thoy may call men what they like , —but I see proofs of the immortality of the soul iu this . No unbelief can stand against this . " # # * "A glorious invention coining , sir , " agaiu cried Tangle , expanding with the subject . " Now , look here , these _guineas are , I may 6 aj _* , nothing more than the representatives of the voters ef Liquorish . Here , we have ' emhere , I take ' em up with my hand ; any number of ' em , body and soul . " Whereupon Tangle scooped up the _guineas in his palm , and poured them down again . " Here they are , men , women , and children , all packed close , all snug ! Sir , a man who carries these , carries
heaps ofhis fellow creatures with 'him . They talk about the invention of printing ; why , what was coining but printing . That is the better part of printing ; the soul , I may say of it , is without its wickedness . There ' s no dangerous notions in these , sir ; no false ideas ; no stuff to dizzy the heads of fools , making them think themselves as good as their betters ; co treachery , sir , but all plain md above board . " And again , Tungle took up the coin and droptit again , his heart-strings vibrating to the music . And the church bell rang out its summons to the world . And , for one moment , tbe eloquent mnn heard it not . He only listened to his church bells—the ringing that sounded of his heaven . Still , he plays with tiie gold ; still , tbe church bell sounds . Toll , toll—chink , chinktoll—chink—toll—chink ! How of tan do many think those notes in unison ! What beautiful harmony to mere ears of clay ! Whut grating discord to diviner sense !"
The best recommendation we can give this publication is to remind our readers tbat the present number closes the second volume , * * a new volume will commence on the 1 st of January next . Such of our readers as may not hitherto have been readers of this magazine will find this a favourable opportunity to begin . Thousands may afford a shilling a month , and the poorest can , at any rate , club their pence together for this excellent shilling ' s worth monthly . Douglas Jerrold ' s Magazine is , emphatically , the Magazine for the Millions : —their guide , their advocate , their instructor and champion . Working for , and devoted to the cause of the " Millions , " it has a right to the support of the " Millions , " and to them we earnestly aud heartily recommend it .
The Connoisseur. December. London: E. Ma...
THE CONNOISSEUR . December . London : E . Mackenzie , 111 , Fleet-street . This month's number opens with a very able and interesting article entitled "Art as connected with Political Economy . " The theme of the article is " the unreasonable prejudice which assumes the qualities of the painter , the actor , the singer , and the dancer to be unproductive and inappreciable in value to the country in which they are esteemed and fostered . " __ Combatting this erroneous prejudice , the writer carries immediate conviction to thc minds of his readers by the soundness and force of his arguments . The article is altogether an admirable vindication of the rights and ciaims of nature ' s nobles . " The Life of Moaart" is concluded . " The Return of Macready" is the title of an elaborate , honest , and exceedingly clever criticism onthe " Othello" of the great tragedian . " The Study of Architecture " and " Picture Dealing" are ably written articles ; their titles sufficiently bespeak the subjects discussed .
A number of minor articles , all evincing good taste and judgment , together with the usual criticisms on the dramatic and musical performances of thc past month , complete the present number . Stop ; we are not exactly correct in so saying ; for this number aiso contains an original ballad ( with musie ) by Mrs . Henry _Sthacey , and , last not least , a beautiful engraving of Julio Romaso , from a portrait by himself . Wc will not attempt to describe the beauties of this engraving , enough that it is the living man rather than his portrait , which looks at us from the paper . One word more , ( press of matter compels us to make this notice brief , ) the present number concludes the first volume ; the second volume will commence with the new year , and affords a favourable opportunity for new subscribers to commence their acquaintance with the Connoisseur , Wc advise all our ' readers who have , or would cultivate , a taste for the beauties of art , to forthwith give their orders for the January number of this publication . We are confident that those who act on this advice will not regret it .
Simmonds's Colonial Magazine. December, ...
_SIMMONDS'S COLONIAL MAGAZINE . December , London ; Simmonds and Ward , Cornhill . We have only room to say that the articles in the present number fully sustain the character of this very useful and well-conducted magazine . The principal artieles are "An Account of Prince of Wales Island , " "The Emigrant , " " TheSerpent of Martinique and St . Lucia , " " Sketches of Grenada Scenery , " "The Liberated African Establishment at St . Helena , " " The Vegetable origin of Basaltic Columns , " " Reminicences of the Island of Cuba , " and a continuation ofthe able article , hy the editor , on " Colonial Railways and their Prospects . " A new volume commences on the 1 st of January , and willi we hope , be even still more successful than the volumes wliich have already beeu completed . Such success is well merited .
Simmonds's Colonial Magazine. December, ...
The Old Duke . —The national admiration for the old duke has led the public to have almost as many portraits of him as of Field-Marshal Prince Albert . When a people adores a man , a set of astute publishers maturaUy go to work to re-produce tlic beloved image , and , all Mr . Moon ' _a shop would not contain tiie Wellington Picture gallery . We have had liim in all shapes—The Duke before Salamanca ; The Duke reconnoitring before Vittoria , * Tlie Duke after ditto ; The Duke shaving before Ciudad Itodrigo , & c , ifec . ;—from that noble portrait of Lawrence , where he is represented holding the sword of _Eng-,
land ( it was in 1 S 15 , and he could wield it then ) , down to the last Daguerreotype of the neat , whitehaired , old gentleman , whom wc have all seen rolling upon his horse in the Park and Pall-mall—a wonder to all bystanders that he did not topple over . At last they have got liim in a sixpenny p icture-newspaper at ehnrch , Church is a very good place for him—whether artists could not be better employed there than in making pictures of that venerable hooked nose , is neither here nor there . But , let it be conceded that he is getting old , as has been the lot of military commanders before him . " Teal's of dotage , " we know , flowed "from Marlborough ' s eyes . " There can be no manner of doubt that Alexander the Great , or Napoleon , if they had lived long
enough , would have grown old too . Thc Duke ' s horse , which he rode at Waterloo , grew old , and waa turned out to grass to pass a comfortable senility , and died , greatly honoured and lamented , long ago . Why keep the master in harness for ever . ? Recommend hiin quiet and a sunshiny paddock at _Strathfieldsaye . It is nonsense to say that because he won the great Waterloo stakes in 1 S 15 he is able to run with other horses now—it is not fair that others should slacken their pace out of regard to him . We want to move on . Here is the old gentleman , because ho couldn't go the pace in the anti-corn law coach , has stopped the carriage , sent back the horses on tlieir haunches , upset the coachman , and set the whole team in disorder . It may be perceived that we are writing with the utmost gentleness . Great and strong ourselves , we reverence the brave who lived before us . Wc are not going to bully the old duke , but we assert that
his time for going to grass has arrived . The Times says he ia tiie leader of tlie aristocracy . Let him go and lead the dukes . He is fit for that ; but not any longer for governing us . Suppose that statue of his , which is turned with his horse ' s tail to the Exchange , should be removed by his adorers in the City , and placed , for greater honour , let us say in the middle arch of Temple-bar . It might look very well there , and the noble image would be sheltered from the rain ; but the street would be incommoded , the omnibuses would not like it : the people going to business would curse that aquiline-nosed barrier whicli interposed between their livelihood and themthe moral is obvious . Punch means that the old duko should no longer block up the great thoroughfare of civilization—that he should be quietly and _respectfully eliminated . _^ For tlie future , let us have him and admire hira—in history . —Punch .
The _Dcke or Norfolk's Cookery . — Wo understand that the present Duke of Norfolk inherits the skill he has lately shown in cookery from one of his ancestors , whose . name has become identified with that delicious edible , the Norfolk dumpling . The Howard family-are believed to be closely related to the celebrated Dukt , Humphery , whose hospitality was exactly of the kind that the Norfolk cookery seems specially adapted for , It is _expected that the Duke will shortly publish a culinary guide for the benefit of the poor . Thc brochure , called " How to
Live on a Hundred a Year , " will be superseded by a pamphlet entitled " How to Live on a Pinch of Curry . " The following will be the style of the valuable receipts contained in the Duke of Norfolk ' s new cookery book : — " A Capital Soup : Take a saucepan , or , if you have not one , borrow one . Throw in about a gallon of good water , and lot it warm over a fire till it boils . Now be ready with your curry , which you may keep in a snuff-box if you like , and take a pinch of it . Pop the pinch of curry into the hot water , and serve out , before going to bed , to your hungry children . —Punch .
Taking it Aisy . —A few days ago a genuine son of the " Gim of the Sae " . was informed by his landlady that in consequence of the wet harvest and the potatoe " _disase , " the loaf would be up a penny in a day or two . " Amli _, by St . Patrick , " says he " and what ' s that to me—what care I if it were haU-acrown—sure y e know I buy all loafs in pen ' orths . ' A Monomaniac . — There lives at Berlin an old woman who absurdly believes she will live to see the day when Prussia will receive the constitution it has been promised so often . —Punch . Utility of 7 ub Letter "II . "—A person ofthe name of Hill being present when some people were discussing the utility of the letter H , he remarked that if it had not been for the letter II he would have been ill all his life .
O'CONNELL TO PUNCH . Abbah , _PutxA . ' is it joking you are ? if it is ,. Take my word , as a prosperous joker , ( Since by jesting our incomes are equally riz , )' Sure a feather will tickle a smile from the pair Ofa man—quite as soon as a poker . Then why lay upon rae like a stoker ? Puiic _.-asthore _' . Sure 'twas timting—that patriot trade , yez must own , To a janius inventive as mine is ; It has prosper'd—and now I can ' t lave it alone . Och ! just think how your own heart would burst wid a groan , To conclude your next number wid " Finis . " Let a man live , whatever his line is ! PuncAasthore !
I don't care for the Time * , or the rest , not a rush , Wid their stories of rapine and riot ; I ean give them the lie when it comes to the push _. If a middleman drops hy a ball from a bush , Don't I advocate peace ? Who ' 11 deny it J Agitation ' tis keeps them so quiet ! Punch usthore ! Sure I gather no more than they'd spend in ' poteen , And 'tis friendship to keep them from dhrinkin ' : Don't I send round Tom Steele , wid his peace-feranch so green . If I shout for repale , don't I shout for the _Qpeen ; Though one eye , through a cowld , I keep wiukin' , There ' s no treason in weakness , I'm thinkin' ! Punch asthore !
Semper Idem . — The Times commissioner has proved O'Connell to be a " middle-man . " — We always thought him between the knave and a mountebank . —Punch . Filial Affection . — "Weel , Sandy , " said a neighbour to a little boy in the south of Fife , whose mother had been seriously indisposed , " how is your mother to-day ? " "Deed , Idinna ken very weel hoo she is , " replied Sandy , scratching his head ; " but the cow ' s ta'en ill , and that ' s waur nor my mither !"
ROYAL AND NOBLE REMEDIES FOR FAMINE . In good old Bourbon times a starring crowd Were once around tbe Louvre clamouring loud , A gentle princess heard the dismal cry , And asked its meaning of a courtier nigh . Quoth he , " The people cry for want of bread . " " What silly folks , " the gentle princess said , " For want of nasty common loaves to cry , " When half a franc such nice new cakes will buy . " An English Duke hears labourers bewail That bread is scarce , and that potatoes fail . * ' Cheer up , "he says , "to starve you need not hurry , " When yon may & ast off hot water and curry . " C . S . E .
Norfolk Curry . —Take a duke , no matter how foolish , but the fatter the better , stew him down with " poppers , and a variety of things of that description , " and serve him up as the principal dish at an agricultural meeting—any fool can cut him up . This is a very warm dish to the stomach ; if " not palatable at first , " wash it down with a glass or two of mi _' . k punch . —Yours trulv , Hannah Glasse , Beefsteak Club , Dec . 12 .
A NEW SENNACHERIB . Sir Robert came down on the Corn-laws so bold , And his backers _fult savage , and sorry , and sold ; But the Premier of votes had a majority , Amounting , in all , to about ninety-three . As sheep follow the wether , submissive and mean , That host at the heels of their leader wero seen ; As sheep scatter wide when you leave them alone , That host , says the -Times , are now broke nnd o'erthrown _. For tbe Iron Duke set his fate on the cast , And nailec ! , for the Corn-Laws , his flag to the mast ; And the Cabinet ' s hopes felt a sensible chill , When they thought of the Duke , and his potent" I will . " And there sat the Premier , his head on one side ; His arguments pooh-poohed , his statements denied ; And tho' he tried bard , he had need ofhis nerve , A decent composure of face to preserve ,
And there sat grim Grahame , so nervous and pale , With his hat on liis head , and his mouth to his nail ; And their measures were done for , their plans overthrown And Peel had to leave his own trumpet unblown _. And Conservative _gantvy are loud in their \ _rail , That the country is ruined if Peel should turn tail And repeal ofthe Corn-laws , we soon shall record , Has been won , not by Peel , but a certain small lord—Punch .
__ A Remedt for Caudleissi . —It is said that a girl in Pittsfield was struck dumb by the firing of a cannon . Since then a number of married men , it ia said , have invited the artillery companies to come and discharge their pieces on their premises . A Great Calf . —Sir William B _, being at a parish meeting , made some proposals that were objected to by a farmer . Highly euraged . _« Sir " says he to the farmer , "do you know that I have been to two Universities , and at two _Colleges in each University ? " " Well , sir , " said the farmer , " S o that I I liad a calf that s « _cked two cows , and the observation I made was , the more he sucked the _gxeater call he gvew .
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), Dec. 27, 1845, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/ns3_27121845/page/3/
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