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A CHB 3 STMAS GAULAXD . " KD the stimrp cop with glpe ; Sing a merry roundelaT ; Christmas "bringsiis revth-y ; Dance , ana dug , and lef s be gay . Bey fear mirth and jdEitj- ; Push about the ruby-nine ; Merry let the minstrel play , Care and mirth can aefer coaibine . " A " vTeteome , good reader , and good cheer to thee for again approaches the head and chief of " Merry £ ngland ' s" happy holidays—alas . ' too few- ^ ollv holly , Christmas , ¦ ffhether the recent unaccountable , —we had almost -aid abominable , — -weather , in which with mamm -
Jreeziiig cold _ -was combroed March Ttind "without 2 k £ arch ' s spring- associations , ^ and JJune ' s dust , ¦ withoirt June ' s "warmth- and brightness , forming a trinity in nniir of annoyances most provoking : and anbearahle ; whether this atmospherical scourge has congealed fbe ideas in the Heads of our poets , mafcingof their Helicon a Serpentine , and taming their Parnassus into a "wintry "waste , we know not j but ire are strongly tempted to this conclusion from the almost total absence of anythingpoetieal relating io the season in the publications of the day "which " hare come under onr notice . "Winter , "witn its attendant erils ^ sjfnreh- the direst curse that through their mortal career falls on the poor of this
metropolis . If the wealthy merchant , or the -weB-furred h&x , -whose blood rnns warm , and -who arepleasanily fed * -Kith the juices of generous meats and costly drink * : who with £ 0 at 3 , and cloaks , and shawis and furs , ? eem prepared to defy Hie Storm and disarm tht chilling blast ; if these , -when exposed for a moment to fog and frost shiver and cower before the enemy in Tain they snard against ; if such with well stored larders , " well-filled cellars , and brishtly blazing hearths to greet them on their crossing xhe threshold ofiome ; if such fed keenlT the biting- Mast of the wintry storm , how much heavier must the scourge of this cheerless season fall upon those who possess none of these "blessings .
"Poorm 3 ied wretches , whereso ' er yon are , That bide tie pelting of the pitiless storm . Dow shall ronr houseless heads , and xmfed sides , Toor loop ed and TsindUrw'd raggednesEj defend tod From seasons such as these V Thus wrote our immortal Shaxspeass , "too plainly Idling that the " good old days , " if they ever had an existence , were not in his time . How much further back " 3 : oung ^ England" would go to seek for those days we know not ; Taut this is certain , that the search for them , even in the Taunted days of " Good Queen Bess , " would be fruitful only of ffisajpointment . 2 kfiservwas then the lot of the many , iliserv b sail their lot . Shall it ever be so ?
ilas ' . the misery ., the thick-spreading wretchedness of this huge metropolis 2 We . speak jnot joow of the apparent and all-appalling misery which stalks through London ' s interminable streets ; which festers in iis filthy bye ^ -ways , and fructifies in its ginpalaces , prisons , and dens of prostitution . Of snch we speak not : hut of that misery ¦ which , rainly srririnjr by incessant toil to stare off utter destruction , toDs " on unceasingly , and alas I unrewarded In onr " Garland" for ISii , appeared Hood ' s li Song of the Shirt , " which , of itself , would be altsuficient for its author's feme , though he had neither before nor since penned aught that " the ttotH will not wHlhigJv let die . " That
" Song" seemed for the moment to stir np the heart of society ' : noris that stirring up yet forfotien . But , if society has a heart—a ' matter siueh . according to 3 £ r . DMsraeK , has been held 5 b donbl , if not entirely . forgotten—it would seem that that heart has been too long a stranger to right emotions tc te more than temporarily excited eren by the pen of a Hood t otherwise we should not hare heard , through thepresent year , so much of the eontinned and unafleTiaied miseries of the poor needle-women . But despite all discouragements , the cause of the poor and the oppressed cannot be considered as hopeless while such eloqnent and earnest advocates as iliss bireridan Carey are found , as in the following beautiful poem , to plead
ihsi cause : — A TTJSSISfi CSI . 1 f > iliT > g ironj ths xnoniiiip grav——Telling , toning through the day , Till the spirit faints away , Bound , in triple iron bound ' Bt the taper ' s famish'd light , Toiling , toSing through ihe nig- 'ht ^ Tin the dimni'd and achin ? sight Sees bat shadows gathering round . TIB the lip ' s warm hoe is gone—Till the brow is worn acd wan—Till thejiitying sun looks on Gasping slaves in stupor cast ; "JX-iSng tisr « cgh the horcirs of pain , TaxiTtg hand , and heart , and brain , Bread—and soared }} bread—to gain I Shall this—« h * Tl this ever last 1
Shan tne spoiler seize by stealth Youth , and hope , and strength , and health ? 2 ^ ^ Hire's dowTt—X&tone ' s -weald *—Shafl thenF—siail they erer be—Tcrath and hope , an April beam t 5 " 3 ^ rngth , delusion % health , a dream % Age—a fearful ghastly theme—Pain , and grieij and penury 1 Thoc -b-jj o seest : THor Tsto nearest ! Thou the inonrners heart ^ rho cbeerest ! Tboc who reil'd in clouds appearest Swift , and terrible , and strong * Tnto Thtt , -wiih stony eye , Blc-jdless cheek , and Ivodjag err , Boom'd to mil and toS—or i > rE , "ffent ' appeaietn , " Lois , boxlong s "
T t "nhose " eonfideace " is sold , T ^ lst raTcicioTis , crs ^ v , bold^—"W " ho the labourer ' s hire ¦ nidihold"Who the frmts- of toil deny^—Who h % k starving poor distress , Wj-t , the n-eai , the old , oppress—Trsufcle ! They < haT \ ~ hsre redre ? s , Lo ! their groans 3 reheard os bigs Trrrcble : rremhler well ye may , Godless trrants of a dav , TrimpBsg oa jour fsEow-clay ' TrampEng n'sman Jtmris to dnst ! " r ^ gea uce is thz Losd ' s ; beware 1 He -will list thejpoor man's prayer , Raise tit cmih'd , and chase ¦ despair 1 T-rrants , wo : thi Losi > is 3 vsj 1
x t caimot better follow tip the abate soul-sfering « tnmcTatxon of gold-gorged TiBany , flian hy giring lie following heart-inspiring lines , holding out i ^ e promibe of z < are and certain glorion 3 future for the human race . The author ( deceasedjis Bevet WiBX ; we presume an Jcaierirxn . We imd the lines in that excellent American paper , the
u » SXf 5 I 05 SHJUL SOT JO-WiTS XZ 1 GS Oppretsien A » n aot always reign : There comes a brighter day , *^ hen freedom , burst from every chain , Shill hare triumphant way . Thea right shall orer might preTail , And ti-uth , like hero armed in mail , i ht hosts of tyrant wrong assaD , And hold eternal sway . I ?* a now , that glorious daj draws near , lu coming is not too far ; la tarth and heaTea its signs appear , ' '» see its morning star : Its dawa ias flnshed the eastern sky ; The western hills reflect it high The southern clouds before it fly—Hurrah : borrah ¦ hurrah J
W hat roice wjD hid the progress fiaj Of truth ' s Tietoriotis car * "That arm arrest the growing day , Or qnench the solar Etar ? ^ That dastard soul , though rtotrt and strong , -ball darebriiig back the ancient wrong , And freedom's morning bar ? TL-e io 3 r of uinmph comes apace ; The fe . ^ d , promised hour , ^ hen -earth , upon a ransomed race , Ht-r I > eani «> n 5 gifts shall shower . Ring , liberty , thy gloriotis bell , Bid high thy sacred banner swell , l * t mnnph on tnncpa the triumph ttD , Of iearen's aTenging power . The day has come , the honr draws nigh , ^ f e hear the coming car-^ rad forth the glad , exulting cry , Hurrah I hnrrah ! hurrah !
v -f n > m eTtrr hTD ^ br ererj sea , ' y Jn shouts proclaiid the xreat decree , " ^ 2 cioirj are Writ , dR men art / ret !" - \ Barrah : hnrrah I lurrah J y ? & liis was to be a Christmas Garland . In good f :.: sooiL , but little yet about Christmas hare we writ fv - ' « ai ; bnt Christmas , with its jorialities , must not be -f j * sed OTer . From " grave to gay" isonlyiair . f ias ; jeaj . ^ tBiBTEB Dickxss ' s Christmas Carol I : ^ earerd too hue for U 3 to notice in our then L _ Garland . " ^ o matter . "Whatever Dickens has Pffined may at any time be read with as much plea-I . ^ re and profit as when newlv issued from the press . I . To snch of our readers as have not read the Carol , * - _ - ^ say , get it hv all means if youcan . Better late
l «* BeTer - It would be out of place , or rather out l ^ ratinie , now to " review" it ; we shall therefore | - ; ^ strict ourselves to two or three extracts from that t £ deli ghtful book , which , could it be-read by all—. fc : > * OHM-that it were in the nands of alt—would do Er- ftWe to promote " peace on earth , and good will to 1 v&ea , " than all the sermons and homilies ever fsiXiered or penned- The moral of the book , that fg 512 ? C ^ nra ' oft £ firit Mwlang Ondly in iU little Wt * P ** Ti , vAtoleverit mav be , u-Ul pid its mortal life fevf ' tfe-rt for-it * vast Tiuani of usffulnest , is a gem g * priced wortlt . Were these words written on 1 ?^ £ hains of all rom : was their spirit feh and
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acted up to ; what an Elysium might this earth be , instead of the " vale of tears" which 50 msnv find it . ., A CHBlfiXJlAi UOXNING . The hoase n-outs it ^ ktd black enoiigh , and lie windows Hacter , contrastiag with the smuoth white sheet of snow Ttpon The i-oofs , and with the dirtier stow upon the ground ; tvbieb last deposit had been ploughed up in deep furrows bv the heavy -wheels of carts and waggons : farrows that crossed and re-crossed each other hnndreds of rimes where the great streets branched off , and made intricate channels , hard to trace , in the thici yellow mud and icy water . The sky was gloomy , and the shortest streets were choked up " with a dingy mist , half thawed half frozen , whose heavier particles descended in a shower of sooty atoms , as if all the chimneys in Great Britain bad , by one consent , caagix fire , and wtre blazing awav ; o their dear hearis'
content . There was nothing very cheerful in the climate or the town ; and yet there was an air of cheerfulness abroad , that the clearest summer sun might have endeavpiired to . diffuse in Tain . For the people who were shovelling away on the house-tops were jovial and full of glee ; easing out ti > one another from the parapets , and QvW and uwn exchanging a facetious ^ now-baH better-naturtd missile far than many a wordy jestlaughing heartily if it went right , and not less heartily if it went wrong . The poulterers' shops were still half open , and the fruiterers' were radiant in their glory . There were great , round , pot-bellied baskets of chesnuts , shaped like the waistcoats of jolly old gentlemen , lolling at the doors , and tumbling into the streets in their apox > 3 ectic opulence . There were ruddv ,
brownfeced , broad-girthed , Spanish onions , shining in the fatness of . their growth like S panish Friars ; and-winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they treat ~ b j , and glanced demurel y at the hung-up mislfitoe . There were pears and apples , clustered high in blooming pyramids ; there were bunches of grapes , made , in the shopkeepvjr ' s btntTolL-nce , to dangle from conspicuous hooks ; that people ' s mouths might water gratis a * they passed l there wtre piles of filberts , mossv and brown , recalling , in their fragrance , anriHpr -walks among the woods , and pleasant shufinngs ankle deep through withered leaves ; there were Norfolk biffins , sqnab and swarthy , setting off the yellow of the oranges andlemons , and in the great compactness of their juicy persons , ¦ urgentl y . entreating and beseeching to be carried home
in paper bags and eaten after dinner . The very gold and silver Ssh , set forth among these choice fruits in a bowl , though members of a dull and Stagnantblooded race , appeared to inow that there was something going on : and , to a fish , went gasping ronnd and round their little world in slow and passionless excitement . The Grocers ' . ' O , the Grocers ' . ' nearly closed , with perhaps two shutters down , or « = ne ; but through these gaps snch glimpses ! ltwa » not alone » that the scales descending on the counter made a merry sound , or that the twine and roller parted company so briskly , or that the canisters were rattled up and down like juggling tricks , or even that the raisins were so plentiful and rare , the almonds so extremely white , the slicks of cinnamon so long and so straight , the other spiees so delicious , the candied fruits so caked
and spotted with molten sugar as to make the coldest lookers-on feel faint and snbsequently bilious . Sor was it that the figs were moist and pulpy , or that the Prench pVuins blnshed in modest tartness from their highly decorated boxes , or that ever ? thing was < rood to eat and in its Christmas dress ; but the cnsiomer * were all so hurried and so eager in the hopeful promise of the day , that they tumbled up against each other at the door , clashing their wicker baskets wildly , and left their purchases upon the counter , and came running back to fetch them , and committed hundreds of the like mistakes in the best humour possible ; while the grocer and his people w *; re so frank and fresh that the polished hearts with which they fastened their aprons behind might have bw-n their own , worn outside for general inspection , and fur Christmas daws to peck at if thev choose .
THE CBBlSTJLiS GOOSI AHJ > TL . VX PrDDtSG . Bob Cratchit taming up his cuffs—as if , poor fellow , they were capable of being made more shabby—compounded - some hoi mixture in a jug with gin and lemons , and stirred it-round and round and put it on the hob to simmer j Master Peter and the two ubiquitous young -CracMts went to fetch the goose , with which they soon returned in high procession . Such a bustle ensued that you might have thought a goose the rarest of all birds " , a feathered phenomenon , to which a black swan was & Blatter of Cuurse : and in troth it was something ray like it in that house . 3 Irs . Cratchit made the gravy ( ready beforehand in a little saucepan ) hissing hot ; "Master Peter mashed the potatoes with incredible vigour ; iEss Belinda sweetened up the apple-sauce
Hanha dusted the hot plates ; Bob took Tiny Tim beside him in a tiny corner at the tab ) e ; the two young CratcMts set chairs for everybody , not forgetting themselves , and mounting guard Tipon their posts , crammed spoons into their mouths , lest they should shriek for goose before their turn came to be helped . Al last the dishes were set on , and grace was said . It was succeeded by a breathless pause , as ilis . Cratchit , looking slowly al ] along the carvinj ; -knife , prepared to plunge it in the breast ; but when she did , and when the too long expected gush of stuffing issued forth , one murmur of delight arose all around the board , and even Tiny Tim , excited by the two young Cratchits , beat on the table with the handle of his knife , and teeblv cried " Hurrah ! " There never was such a
goose . Bob saiu he didn ' t believe there ever was such a goose cooked . Its tenderness and flavour , sixe and cheapness , were the themes of universal admiration . Eked oat . by the apple-sauce and mashed potatoes , it was a sufficient dinner for the whole family ; indeed , as ilr . Cratchi ; said with great delight ( surveying one cmnTI atom < . f a bone upon & dish ; , they hadn ' t ate it aQ at last I Yet every one had had enongh , and the youngest Cratchits in particular , were steeped in sage and onion to the eyebrows : But now , the plate * being changed by iliss Belinda , Mrs . Cratchit left the room alone—too nervous to bear witnesses—to take the pnadrag np , and bring it in . Suppose it should noi be done enough : Suppose it should break in turning it out ! Suppose somebodv should have got over the wall
of the back-yard , and stolen it , while they were merry with "the goose : a supposition at which the two young Cratchits became livid . ' All sorts of horrors were supposed . Hallo ' . A great deal of steam ' . The pudding Ttas out of the copper . A smell like a washing-d : iy ' That was the cloth . A smell like an eating-house , aiid a pastry-cook ' s next door to each other , with a laundress ' s next door to that ! That was thepxiduing . Innalfami nute Mrs . Cratchit entered , smiling proudly , with the pnddinr , like a speckled cannon-bull , so hard and firm , ¦ Mazing " ia balf of half-a-quartern of ignited brandy , and bt-dighi with Christmas hoBy stuck into the top . Oh I a wonderful pudding ! Bob Cratchit said , and calmlv too , that be regarded it as the greatest success achieved by ilrs . Cratchit since their marriage Mrs . Cratchit said that now the weight was off her mind she * wonld confess she had her doahts about the quantity of flour . Every body had something to say
about it , but nobody said or thought it was at all a small pndding for a large family . It would have been flat heresy to do so . Any Cratchit would have blushed to hint at snch a thing . At last the dinner was all done , the cloth was cleared , the hearth swept , and the fire inadetrp . The compound in the jug being tasted and considered perfect , apples and oranges were put upon the table and a shovel-full of chesnnts on the fare Then all the Cratchit family drew round the hearth , in what Bob Cratchit called a circle , meaning half a one ; and at Bob Cratchit * s elbow stood the family display of glass ; two tumblers , and a custard-cup without a handle- These held the hot stuff from the jug , however , as well as golden gublets would have done ; and Bob served it out with beaming looks , while the chesnuts on the fire sputtered and crackled noisily . Then Bob proposed : " A Merry Christmas to us all , my dears . God bless us 2 " Which all the family re-echoed " God bless us everv one I *
After bo much of eoose and pudding , —may every Cratchit in the land have a Diekens's dinner on Wednesday next : — 'tis time we clearedour pipes so here goes with a chant for
THX MSLITOE . Come ! sing we a song of the misletoe ! For , a sturdy plant and free , It heedetb not when the north winds Wow , And scathed is the stricken tree ; But on , in storm and snow it blooms , "VThen earth hath not a flower , And the plants have shrunk to their silent tomb ! From the scowling tempest ' s power . A proud and a mighty thing ! it throws Its branching arms around The bending oak , that , its patron , grows From the spurn'd and lowly ground . It asketh nought from the niggard earth , Tt needeth not the sun ; Bnt , seated hig h in its pride of " Dirth , Is it left its race to run .
The storm doth sweep across ; The groaning forests bow ; On the deep the foaming billows toss To the bleak sky "* frowning brow ; But gaDy waving tv and fro , As the shrieking winds awake , Still singeth the merry misletoe , Till earth doth in concert quake . Then Taise we a song , a joyous song , For merry hearts there be , "VThilst the spoiler ^ walketh his way among The proud , the fair , the free . Theinell hath toll'd , —the sound is old , — Unheeded let it fall ; And the song of the mystic misletoe In chorns join we all .
Bnt what have we here ? As we h " , another Carol , another gift of beauty and of truth from the inexhaustible brain of glorious Boz ; who , if ever writer deserved the title , truly does he deserve that proud one "lax post o ? ? zz poob . Yes ; advjsetUy we say Pott . "Where is the living writer , be he ever so great in prose or rhyme , who can so well , <^ -trnthftillT describe the sufferings , the sorrows , the hopes , " the joys , of the million ? Who can paint theminutia of the life of Labour s chiMren , Vithout and within , alike that which is visible to the eve and that which , belonging to the inner man mav oe within the compass g { a poet ' s ten but of none ether of the sons of men f buch was the godlike power the exercise of which has made bDAKSPEAM ,
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Brass , and Btbos , immortal . The first and last of these , unfolded to the world ' s gare ; the passions which agitate the breasts of kings and theiaighty ones of the earth . Bckxs ^ on the other hand , took for his delineation the children of the people . By the side of Bcrks , Dickens will take his stand : and who could desire a destiny more glorious ? Some one , we forget who , defines poetry to be " musical thought . " Tried by this test , where is to be found sublimer poetry than tbat--wlaeh breathes through every page penned by Dickecs ? Yes , Dickens is the poet of the poor ; prouder position , greater glory , for now and for ail time , no man could hope to acquire . TBE CHIMES , A GOBLIN STORY OF SOME BELLS THAT JiASG _ 4 JT OLD YEAR OUT AND
A 1 EW ONE LN . Such is the title of Mr . Dickens ' s new work . For this week we forbear the critie ' s task , anxious as we are to at once gratify our readers with a toothsome taste of the volume itself . The hero of this goblin story is one Toby Fecit , a ticket-porter , oftener called Trotty VecL Thev called him Trotty for his pace , which meant speed * , if it didn't make it . He was a weak , small , spare old man ; but poorly clad , and no ways a match lor the sturdy assaults of a December blast . His post of duty was "• a- breezy , goose-skinned , blue-nosed , red-eyed , stony-toed , tooth-chattering place , " nigh to a church-door , whose goblin bells are made to ring out the chimes of this story . We have claimed for ilr . Dickens the title of Poet , and here , at the very outset of the work is a specimen of " musical thought" which makes good the claim .
THE HOME OF THE CHIMES . The night wind has a dismal trick of wandering round . and round a building of that sort [ a church ] , and moaning as it goes ; and of trying , with its unseen hand , the windows and the doors ; and seeking out some crevice by which to enter . And when it has got in—as one not iiuding what itiseeks , whatever that may be^—it wails and howls to issue forth again ; and not content with stalking through the aisles , and gliding round and round the pillars , and tempting the deep organ , Eoars up to the roof , and strives to rend the rafters : then flings itself despairinglv upon the stones
below , and passes , muttering , into the vaults . Anon , it comes up stealthily , and creeps along the walls seeming to read , in whispers , the inscriptions , sacred to the dead . At some of these , it breaks out shrilly , as with laughter ; and at others , moans and cries as if it were lamenting . It has a ghostly sound , too , lingering within the altar : where it seems to chant , in its wild way , of wrong and murder done , and fiilse Gods worshipped ; in defiance of the Tables of the Law , which look so fair and smooth , but are so flawed and broken . Ugh ! Heaven preserve us sitting snugly round the nrc It has an awful voice , that wind at midnight singing in a church !
But high up in the steeple ! There the foul blast roars and whistles . ' High up in the steeple , where it is free to come and go through many an airy arch and loophole , and to twist and twine itself about the giddy stair , and twirl the groaning weathercock , and make the very tower shake and shiver ! High up in the steeple , where the belfry is , and iron rails are ragged with rust , and sheets of lead and copper shrivel by the changing weather , crackle , and' heave beneath the unaccustomed tread ; and birds stuff shabby nests into corners of old oaken joists and beams ; and dust grows old and grey ; and speckled spiders , indolent and fat with long security , swing idly to and fro in the vibration of the bells , and never lose their hold upon their thread-spun castles in the air , or climb up , sailor-like , in quick alarm , or drop
upon the ground and ply a score of nimble legs to save a life ! High up in the steeple of an old church , far above the light and murmur of the town , and far below the flying clouds that shadow it , is the wild and dreary place at night : anil high up in the steeple of an old church , dwelt the Chimes I tell of . But return we to Toby . Toby had contracted a liking for the Bells : — " And though 1 had said his love , 1 would not have recalled the word , though it would scarcely have expressed his complicated feeliug . For , being but a simple man , be invested them with a strange and solemn character . They were so mysterious , often beard and never seen ; so high up , so far off , so full of such a deep strong melody , that he regarded them with a species of awe ;
and sometimes when he Jooked up at the dark arched windows in the tower , he half expected to be beckoned to by something which was not a bell , and jet was what he heard so often sounding in the Chimes . For all this , Toby scouted with indignation a certain flying rumour that the chimes were haunted , as implying the possibility of their being connected with any evil thing . In short , they were very often in his ears , and very of ten in his thoughts , but always in [ his good opinion ; and he very often got such a crick in his neck by staring with his mouth wide open , at the steeple where they bung , that he was fain to take an extra trot or two , afterwards to cure it . The very thing he was in the act of doing one cold day , when the last drowsy sound of twelve o ' clock just
strnck , was humming like a melodious monster of a bee , and not by any means a busy bee , aJ ] through the steeple . TOBI ' S OBSERVATION . " ' DinneT time , eh ! ' said ToDv , trotting up and down before the church . ' Ah !' 11 Toby ' s nose was -very red , and his eyelids were very red , and he winked very much , and bis shoulders were very near his ears , and his legs were very stiff ; and altogether he was evidently a long vray upon the frosty side of cool . " ' Dinner-time , eb ' . ' repeated Toby , using his right muffler like an infantine boxing-glove , and punishing his chest for being cold . Ah-h-h-h !' " He took a silent trot , after that , for a minute or two .
"' There ' s nothing , ' said Toby , ' more regular in its coming round than dinner-time , and nothing less regular in its coming round than dinner . That's the great difference between ' em . If s took roe a long timt to find it out . I wonder whether it would be worth any gentleman ' s while , now , to buy that observation for the papers , or the Parliament ' . ' " Toby , wrapped in a "brown study" continues his *' obserwations . " Toby has evidently heard of the Malthusian Philosophy ; perhaps located near a church , he has heard ' that such is the philosophy of Ciuries John , Bishop Bloomfield : —
TOBT ' fl D 0 UBTIXG 8 . It seems as if we can ' t go right , do right , or be righted , ' feaid Toby . I hadn ' t much schooling myself when I was voung -. ana I can ' t make out whether we have any business on the face of the earth , or not . Sometimes I think we must have a little , and sometimes I think we must be intruding . 1 get so puzzled sometimes that I am not even able to make up my mind whether there is anv good at all in us , or whether we are born bad . We seem to do dreadful things ; we seem to give a deal of trouble ; we are always being complained of and
guarded against . One "way or other we fill the papers . Talk of a Sew Year ' . ' said Toby , mournfully . ' 1 can bear up as well as another man at most times ; better than a good many , for I am as strong as a lion , and all men an't : but supposing it should really be that we have no right to a New Year : —supposing we really are intruding ? '" Probably Toby had been led to reflect on the possibility ' of there rer . Dy being " no seat for him at Nature ' s board , " from the fact that he was too often without a dinner . From his reverie Toby is aroused bv the voice of his daughter .
aULTHCS BEFDTXD . " "Why , father , father ! " said the pleasant voice again . Toby heard it this time—started—stopped—and shortening his sight , which had been directed a , long way off as seeking for enJightenment in the very heart of the approaching year , fonnd himself face to face with his own child , and looking close into her eyes . Bright eyes they were . Eyes that would bear a world of looking in before their depth * was fathomed . Dark eyes , that reflected back the eyes which searched them ; not flasbingly , or at the owner ' s will , but with a cieaT , calm , honest , patient radiance , claiming kindred with that light which heaven called into being : eyes that were beautiful and true , and beaming with hope . "With hope so young and fresh—with hope so buoyant ,
vigorous , and bright , despite the twenty years of work and poverty on which they had looked , that they became a voice to Trottj Veck , and safd : " I think we have some business here—a little !" Poetrv that , mv masters i Nature pleading through the affections for those truths which a brutish miscalled philosophy would fain , —but happily in vain , strives to , —extinguish , Toby ' s daughter , Meg , has most unexpectedly brought him a dinner of hot tripe , which he enjoys seated on a door step . While thus emploved the daughter imparts to him herlpye for Biehara , a stalwart blacksmith , who has vowed to wed her on 2 ? ew YearVday . Hear how beautifully the brighteyed girl pleads what we shall take the liberty to
call—OCB PHILOSOPHY .. " He says then , father , another sear is nearly gone , and where is the use of waiting on from year to year , when it is so unlikely we shall ever be better off than we are now . He says we are poor now , father , and we shall be poor then ; but we are young now , and years will make us old before we know it . He says thatif we wait , people in oar condition , until we see onr way quite clearly , the way will be a narrow one indeed—the common way—the grave , fa her . * * * * " And bow bard , father , to rro-w old , and die , and think we might have cheered . nd helped each other ! How hard in all oar lives to )• re each other ; and to grieve apart , to see each other working , changing , growing
old and grey . Even if 1 pot the better of it , and forgot him ( which I never could ) , 0 , father dear , to have a heart so full as mine is now , and live to have it slowly flrained out every drop , without the recollection of one happy moment of a woman ' s life , to stay behind and comfort me , and make me better !" The father and daughter are here joined by the latter"s sweetheart , Richard , and almost at the same moment the door opens , and the footman of Alderman Cute nearly puts his foot into the tripe dish . Mr . Cute is attended by two friends , Mr . Filer , a cold-blooded political economist—Mr . Dickens paints the claps to the life—and a reu-faced gentleman , in a blue coat , representing a Tory of the old school , whose eteraal prate is about " the good old
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times . ' ! These three worjihies denounce poor Toby ¦ for ^ atjng fe-ipe , as beitfg infamously extravagant , -.. andcalculated tobringruin-on the country : A 1 DEEMA . V CCTE ' S WAY OF DEALING WITH TBE COMMON
. PEOPLE . j " Now , you know , ' said the Alderman , addressing his two friends , with a gelf-complacent smile upon his face , which nus habitual to him , 'lama plain man , and a practical man ; and : I go to work in a plain , practical way . That ' s my way . There is not the least mystery or difficulty in dealihg with this sort of people , if you only understand ' em , and can talk to 'em in . their own manner . J ? ow , you . porter ! Don't you ever tell me . or anybody else , my friend , that you liavn't always enough to eat , and of the best ; because I know better . I hare tasted your » tripe , you know , and you can't " chaff' me . You understand what " chaff" means , eh ? That ' s the right word , isn ' t it ? Ha , ha , ha ! Lord bless you , ' said the Alderman , turning to his friend ?
again , ' s the easiest thing on earth to deal with this sort of people , if you only understand ' . ' " Famous mau for the . common people , Alderman Cute ! Never out of temper with them ! Easy , affable , joking , knowing gentleman ! " You see , my friend , pursued the Alderman , ' there ' great deal of nonsense talked about want— "hard up , " you know : that ' s the phrase , isn't it » ha , ha , ha !—and I intend to put it down . That ' s all ! Lord bless yo » , ' said the Alderman , turning to his friend again , ' you mayputdown anything among this sort of people , if you only know the ; way to set about it' . " Trotty took Meg ' s hand and drew it through his arm . He didn ' t seem to know what he was doing though . "Your daughter , eh V said the Alderman , chucking her
familiarly under the Chin . "' Always affable witn . the working classes , Alderman Cute . ' Knew what pleased them ! Not a bit of pride !' " ¦ Where ' s her mother V asked that worthy gentleman . " ' Dead , ' said Toby . Her mother got up linen ; and was called to heaven when she was born . ' "' Not to get uc linen ( here , I suppose , ' remarked the Alderman pleasantly , " Toby might or might not have been able to separate his wife in heaven from her old pursuits . But query : If ilrs . Alderman Cute had gone to heaven , would Mr . Alderman Cute have pictured her as holding any state or station there ? From denouncing tripe , the precious trio proceed to the abusing of Matrimony : —
A POLITICAL ECONOMIST ' S LAMENT , " 'And you're making love to her , are you V said Cute to the young smith . " ' Yes , ' returned Richard , quickly , for he was nettled by the question . ' And we are going to be married on Xew Year ' s Day . ' " ' What do you mean V cried Filer , sharply , ' married !' "' Why , yes , we ' re thinking of it , master , ' said Richard . , ' We ' re rather in a hurry , you see , in case it should be Put Down first . ' " ' Ah ! ' cried Filer , with a groan . ' Put that down , indeed , Alderman , and you'll do something . Married ! Married !! The ignorance of the first principles of political economy on the part of these people ; their improvidence ; their ¦ wickedness ; is , by Heavens ! enoutrh
to—Now look at that couple , will you V " Well ! They were worth looking at . And marriage seemed as reasonable and fair a deed as they need havt in contemplation . ' " ' A man may live to be as old as Methusaleh , ' said Mr . Filer , ' and may labour nil his life for the benefit of such people as those ; and may heap up facts on figures , facts on figures , facts on figures , mountains high and dry ; and he can ri ' o more hope to persuade ' em that they have no right or business to be married , than he can hope to persuade ' em that they have no earthly right or business to be born . And that we know thev
havn't . We reduced it to a mathematical certainty long ago . ' Our readers who are also readers of Punch , —and we expect but few are otherwise , —must be pretty well acquainted with the doings of Peter the Gi-eat ( ass ) , who hesitates at nothing , and is omnimpotent at " putting down" all delinquents , from Joseph Adt to Giant Despair : —heputs all down : a mighty genius is Peter . ' It strikes us we have ere now seen the veritable original of Alderman Cute , presiding at the City Mansion House Police Court . We may be wrong : , but doubtless Alderman Sir Peter Laurie cau say whether we are right .
THE MAN " WOT ' 8 DET £ &M 1 NEP TO PUT DOWN SUICIDE . " " Alderman Cute was mightily diverted , and . laid his right forefinger on the side of his nose , as much as to say to both his friends , ' Observe me , will you \ Keep your eye on the practical man ! ' and called Meg to him . " ' Come here , my girl , ' said Alderman Cute , " The young blood of her lover had been mounting , wrathfully , within the last few minutes ; and he was indisposed to let her come . But , setting a restraint upon himself , he came forward with a stride ag Meg approached , and stood beside her . Trotty kept heT hand within hi 9 arm still , but looked from face to face a * wildly as a sleeper in a dream .
" ' Now I ' m going to give you a word or two of good advice , my girl , ' said the Alderman , in his nice easy way . 1 s my place to give advice , you know , because I'm a justice . You know I ' m a justice , don't you V " Meg timidly said , ' Yes . But everybody knew Alderman Cute was a justice ! 0 , dear , so active a justice always ! Who such a mote of brightness in the publiceye as Cute ! "' You are going to be married , you say , ' pursued the Alderman . ' Very unbecoming and indelicate in one of your sex ! But never mind 'that . After you are married you ' ll quarrel with your husband , and come to be a distressed wife . You may think not ; but you will , because I tell you so . Now I give you fair warning , that I have made up my mind to put distressed wives
down . So don ' t be brought before me . You'll have children—boys . Those boys will grow up bad , of course , and run wild in the streets , without shoes and stockings . Mind , my young friend ! I'll convict ' em summarily , every one , for I am determined to put boys , without shoes and stockings , dou-n . Perhaps your husbntid will die young ( most likely ) and leave you with a baby . Then you'll be turned out of doors , and wander up and down the streets . Now don't wander near me , my dear , for I am resolved to put all wandering mothers down . All young mothers , of all sorts and kinds , it ' s my determination to put down . Don't
think to plead illness as an excuse with me ; or babies as an excuse with me ; for all sick persons and young children ( J hope you know the Church service , but I'm afraid not ) I am determined to put down . And if you attempt , desperately , and ungratefully , and frnpiouslv , and fraudulently attempt to drown yourself , or hang yourself , I'll have no pity on you , for I have made np my mind to put all suicide down . If there is one thing , ' said the Alderman , with his self-satisfied smile , ' on which I can be said to have made up my mind more than on another , it is to put suicide down . So don't try it on . That ' s the phrase , isn't it ? Ha , ha ! Now we understand each other . '
" Toby knew not whether . to be agonised or glad to see that Meg had turned a ueadly white , and dropped her lover ' s hand . \ " ' As for you , you dull dog , ' said the Alderman , turning with eveu increased cheerfulness and urbanity to the young smith , ' what are you thinking of being maryieu for 1 What do you want to be married for , you silly fellow ! If I was a fine young strapping chap like you , I should be ashamed of being milksop enough to pin myself to a woman ' s apron-strings ! Why , she'll be an old woman before you are a middle-aged man ! And a pretty figure you'll cut then , with a draggle-tailed wife and a crowd of squalling children crying after you wherever you go !' " Oh , he knew how to banter the common people , Alderman Cute !"
Here for the present we must close our notice ot the Chimes . Next week we shall return to them , and put our readera in possession of what becomes of Trofat , Meg , and Richard . As a Blacksmith figures in the Chime $ , and as we doubt not all our fair readers will by this time be the entertainers of feelings sympathetic for the young Vulcan , only second in intensity to those of his loving Meg , we think we cannot do better than have a song , a right hearty and noble one , from the pen of the talented Charles Mackat , ( one of whose beautiful compositions appeared in our last year ' s Garland , ) in honour of the prince arid father of the manly craft :-i
TUBAL CAIN . Old Tubal Cain was a man of might , In the days when earth was young ; By the fierce red light of its furnace bright The strokes of his . bammer rung ; And he lifted high his brawny hand On the iron glowing clear , Till the sparks rushed out in a scarlet rout , As he fashioned the sword and spear : And he sang "Hurra for my handiwork . ' Hurra for the spear and sword ! Hurra for the hand that shall wield them well ; For he shall be King and Lord . " To Tubal Cain came '; ma . m a one .
As he wrought by his roaring fire ,. And each one pray'd for a strong steel blade As the crown of his own desire ; And he made them weapons sharp and strong , Till they shouted loud for glee , And gave him gifts Of pearls and gold And spoils of the forest free . And they sang " Hurra for Tubal Cain , Who hath given us strength anew ; Hurra for the smith , hurra for the fire , And hurra for the metal true !"
But a sudden change came o ' er his head , Ere the setting of the sun , And Tubal Cain was filled with pain For the evil he had done ; He saw that men , with rage and heat , Made war upon their kind , And the land was red with the blood they shed , In their lust for carnage blind , And he said " Alas , that ever I made , Or that skill of mine should plan , The spear and the sword for men whose joy Is to slay their fellow-man I "
And for many a day old Tubal Cain ] Sat brooding o ' er hia woe ; And hU hand forbore to smite the ore , And his furnace smouldered low ;
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i But he rose , at last , with a cheerful face , And a bright ^ courageous eye , ; 'And bared hTs strong right arm for work , While the quick flames mounted high . And he sang , " Hurra for my handiwork . ' " And the red sparks lit the air ; j Not alone for the blade was the bright steel made ; And he fashion'd the first plough-share . And men , taught wisdom from the past , In friendship joined their hands , Hung the sword in the hall , the spear on the wall , And plough'd the willing lands- ; And sang " Hurra , for old Tubal Cain , Our staunch good friend is he ; I And for the plough-share and thejplough To him our praise shall be ; i But while oppression lifts its head ] Or tyrant would be Lord , ¦} Though we may thank him for the plough , We'll not forget the sword ! " t
The great length of our extracts from Mr . Dickens ' s works compels us to omit for this week many things We had intended to have said , j and also several choice poetical pieces we had prepared for our Garland . We say for this week ; for in our next we shall resume . If in tliis number of the Star our Garland appears imperfect , be it understood that it is not as yet completed . In the njeantime , reader , we wish thee and thine " A Merry Ciirisimas I " If thou art a Scrooge ( which Heiven forbid !) , we wish thee a quittance of all thy evil spirits , . and a regeneration as complete as that worked in the hero of Dickens ' s Carol . If thou art a Cratchit , we wish thee ( we repeat ) such a Christinas Goose and Pudding as Dickens has pictured ; and we would help thee to , were we '' the Ghost of Christmas
Present . " And if thou art like unto Scrooge ' s nephew , we don't know that wej could wish thee aught better than the good heart thou wiit in that case be the possessor of ; unless indeed it be the additional good of having the nieans at thy command to obey the dictates of such a heart . To the rich w « say , give to your fellow creatures who are poor ; and to the poor we say , sympathise with each other , and strive to ease the heavy load which , like Pilgrims , you are forced to bear , j To each and all we wish Plenty , Beneficence , and [ Happiness ; and all we ask in return is , that each ana all will join us in drinking with flowing glasses to those lights of life—The Poets ; and , first and foremost , to France and Freedom ' s poet , Berajvger . ' In his glorious strains we ask our friendsj with nine times nine , and one cheer more , to chant the praises of
WOMAN AND WINE . [ In varying hues of grief and mirth , How fruitful Nature ' s face appears ! Beneath its dark wing rolls the earth , In ruins , blood , and tears . ) But beauty reigns where ' er we go , ; And see , with grapes the vines are clad Let woman smile , let good wine flow , And lo ! the world is glad . j I A deluge o ' er each land hath flown ; But ah ! how fuw , how very few ,:
Some sheltering ark have ever known , Whom misery ' s waves pursue ! j "When Hies the dove , when bends the bow Above that waste of waters sad —• Let woman smile , let good wine flow , And lo ! the world is glad ! \ In dreary , dark , and funereal gloom , A withered land ' neath Etna lies , Which . hurls from out its burning womb The Hell against the skies ! j Its rage expires , and muttering low ,
Rests that mysterious mountain mad—Let woman smile , let good wine flow , And lo ! the world is glad ! ; The frightful vulture of the East , \ The deadly plague with hoarse v 6 ice calls , And man , to furnish forth her feast , Before her flying—falls ! i Heaven is appeased—with angel glow Soft Pity tends these victims sad !—Let woman smile ^—let good wine flow—And lo ! the world is glad . j Stern Mars awakes his cruel fires . >
And rolls his car of sanguine hue , And the same land that drank the sire ' s , Still drinks the son ' s blood too I i But man grows tired and stops the blow , And nature whispers , sweet tho' sad—Let woman smile—let good wine now—And lo ! the world is glad ! Instead of blaming Nature now , ; ; See Spring ' s bright tresses stream above , 0 ! let us wreathe her fragant brow ? With earth ' s best roses , joy and love ! Spite of the slavish ills we know , i 'Mid mouldering ruins ivy clad , Let woman smile—lut good wine flow—And , lo ! the world is glad ! ;
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BrsTLEs versus Pbovidekce . —— "There M a Providence that shapes our ends , " saith the immortal William Shakspeare ; and yet ladies wear bustles . A Yaxk ££ Basbihtsr prosecuting a woman lot maltreating her infirm husband , exclaimed , that most of the sex were devils ' . Seeing several gentedftmales in court , he sought to co ^ Tect jhis / aMJ ^ pajS ! biff adding , "but the rest are angels , and many # f them axe present , " ... A Toast foii Teetotaixeks . — "Here ' sto the matt
who cut down the trees , who cleared the land ,, who ploughed the ground , who planted the corn , . which fed the goose , that raised the quil ) , wluclkformedthepeD , with wliich was written the total abstinencei pledge . " Optics . — The Duke of Cumberland told Dr . Price that he had read his pamplilct on the National Debt with much delight , and sat up so late to finish it , tliat it had almost blinded him . " Rather strange , " said the author , "that it should have such an eftect on your Royal Highness , for it has opened the eyes of everybody else . "
Measure for Measure . —A Quaker at an inn called for some porter , and observing the pint deficient in quantity , thus addressed the landlord : — " Pray [ dead , how many butts of beer dost thou draw in a month ? " " Ten , sir , " replied the publican . "And thou wouldst like to draw eleven if thou couldst , " rejoined Ebenezer . " Certainly , " exclaimed the smiling landlord . "Then I will tell thee how ,, friend , " said broadbrim : "fill thy measures . " The WAJiKRRnsG Jew . —According to a letter from Leipsie , fourteen translations of -M . Eugene Sue ' s romance , the " Wandering Jew , " are now publishing in Germany . —Augsburg Gazette . The Polka—Why is the Polka like bitter beer ?—Because there are so many hops in it . TriE Rose bas TnoRNa . —Milton , when blind , married a shrew . The I > uke of Buckingham called her arose . " I am no judge of colours , " replied Milton , "but I daresay you are right , for I feel the thorns daily . "
Boswell asd the Bear . —Boswell asked Johnson once whether he had heard that people compared him to a mad dog , "Have you heard , sir , " said the Doctor , "that people compare yon to the tin-kettle tied to my tail ?" Gentility . —A very irritable Irish baronet once fancied himself insulted by a country bumpkin "who could not trace iiis blood for more than 360 years from labour and shaking his horsewhip in his tace exclaimed , '' Damn yon , sir , if you were a gentleman I'd horsewhip you to-night and shoot you to-morrow morning . "Thank you , Sir John ; its not the first time that I have had to return thanks to providence for not being a gentleman , " was the shrewd reply . A Fact . —About fifty years ago , in the " goodold
times" when . beating was cheap in Ireland , there happened to be five or six cases of manslaughter in different part * of the county of Kerry the same day , and the weather being very hot the coroner could not hold an inquest upon each in sufficient time ; and therefore in order to satisfy the friends of one of the deceased who followed him thirty miles , he said he would summon a jury there , and without view of the body take their evidence , if they could swear to the facts . This appeared perfectly satisfactory . The jury was instantly summoned , and the whole business concluded in about half an hour by a verdict against nine of the Shannahans , three of the Macartys and four of the Doolans , for the wilful murder of Timothy Driseoll . The accused were all sent to prison ; and
the first day of the assizes true bills against them were presented to the grand jury , and the name of Timothy Driseoll indorsed on the bill , to be examined as the principal witness . After a few questions by the foreman of the grand jury , he observed that the name of the witness and the deceased were the same ; and asked him : " Witness , were you any relation to the deceased ? " " To the deceased is it ? " replied Tim ; " wisha , my God , aint I the deceasedruysclf ? " " No , ho , I mean the murdered man ; are you any thing to the murdered man ? " " My God , aint 1 telling you that I'm the murthered man myself ! Look here , " saya Tim , showing a huge wound in his head : " wasn't that enough to kill an ox ? and look here , and here , and here , " exhibiting all his wounds , observing : ht the
"Wisha then if 1 wasn't murthered that nig devil a Kerry man was ever murthered since . " In this dilemma the foreman of the grand jury thought it best to consult the judge ; and proceeding to the court accosted . 'him . as follows ;— " My lord , we are rather in a predicament , " and then related the circumstance ; lidding , "What we wish to know , my lord , is , if under the peculiar circumstances of the case we can find bills against the Shannahans , Macartys , and Doolans for manslaughter , as DriscoU ' s not dead ?" His lordship , as might be expected , looked hard at the applicant , and then significantly said " No . " One Discharge at a Time . —When the Irish yeomanry corps were first embodied , the men were in the habit ' of not discharging their muskets , in order that they might preserve the cartridges . The captain of a corps , not distinguished by a very military ear , had had this prank frequently practised on him . An old
martinet was one day inspecting the corps , whose ear was shocked by the irregularity of the fire , and he observed to the captain— " What the devil do you mean , sir ? these men can't fire ; do you call that a discharge ? fiot a man to the right has fired \ " -whereupon the captain in a terrible rage vowed vengeance against the right wing , if , as he said , " it didn't make its share of noise the next time . " When the word " fire" was given , bang went the right , sure enough , and up flew half a score of muskets , and back staggered as many men . The poor captain , flabbergasted , ran to take up one of the muskets , when the owner , who had partially recovered , roared out at the top of his voice , " Ogh captain jewel , captain jewel ; wisha , for God ' s sake , don't go near it or touch it , for by gor there's nine charges in it jet ' . that ' s only one of them gone off ; and they will . ill blow up and turn . "
A Farmer ' s Corps for Service . — In the year 1798 , when the Irish weavers and all the little Protestants were just as loyal as the loyal royal Bepealers of the present day , these worthies volunteered their services to constitute a volunteer cavalry corps in the neighbourhood of Gal way , of wliich the gallant captain was a parson . Government received daily accounts of the loyalty , the discipline , and the courage of this wonderful corps : and at length notice was received by the gallant parson , that Lord Cathcart would be in Gal-way on the following Monday to inspect the loyal royal Protestant tinkers and tailors . No time was to be lost . Not one of the gallant troopers had ever mounted a horse . Horses had to be borrowed , and the most to be made of the time . Well , Monday came ,
and Lord Cathcart came , and great -was the consternation . There were the tinkers and tailora ; and there was the dog ' s-meat , with long tails , and short taUs , and no tails at all ; with saddles , and without saddles ; with bridles and halters , and without bridles or halters . Seeing the great Protestant zeal mani fested , his lordship was willing to make all allowance for a first experiment . The troop was put in laotion , and his lordship , to encourage , vouchsafed a familiar observation , such as , " How long have you been in the riding-school ? " No answer . " Pray what's your name ? " Still no answer . " Have you ever belonged to any other corps ? " No reply . " Would you volunami look
teer into the line ? " Mum , a sagacious . The General could withstand this indifference no longer and voaving out at the top of his voice to the gallant parson , exclaimed " What the devil do you mean ; have these fellows no tongues ? " " Why , General ? " " Why I have spoken to that man , and that man , and that fellow , and not a word could I get out of them . " " Come here , Tim Murphy ; why didn t you answer the General , you blackguard , when he was so civil as to speak to you ? " " Answer him is it , said Tim ; " wisha , by Shasus , captain , I d enough to do to mind my riding , without talking to the likes ot him . The devil from a , but I be in dread of my life to spake while I ' m riding : by the powers , I'd fall off as sure as tlay . "
Thirty Years Ago . — Byron , in 1814 , wrote to his friend Tom Moore , to apprise him that he was an accepted lover . . The letter ( which is as follows ) is an admirable specimen of easy and familiar correspondence : — " Newstead Abbey , Sept . 20 , 1844 . " Here ' s to her who long Hath waked the poet '_ s _ sig } U The girl who gave to song What gold could never buy . " " My dear Moore , —I am going tobemarried : that is . I am accented , and one usually hopes the rest will
follow . My mother of the Gracchi ( that are to be ) you think too straight-laced for me , although the paragon of ' only-children , ' and invested with ' golden opinions of all sorts of men , ' and full of ' most blest conditions' as Desdemona herself . Miss MUbanke is the lady ; and I have her father's invitation to proceed there in my elect capacity ; which , however , I cannot do till I" have settled some business in London , and I get a blue coat . She is said to be an heiress ; but of that' I know nothing certainly , and shall not inquire . But I do know that she has talents and excellent qualities ; and you will not deny her judgment , after having refused six suitors and taken me . "Yours , Byrox . "
Seeing Through It— " What is light V asked a schoolmaster of the booby of the class . " A sovereign that isn't full weight is light , " was the prompt reply . Agree to Differ . — "You are no gentleman , " said an angry disputant to his antagonist . " Are you ? quietly asked the other . " Yes , I am , sir . " " | then I am not , " was the caustic reply . All One . and no Change . —A gentleman find his servant intoxicated , said : " What ! drunk or Sam ? I scolded you for being drunk last night here you are , drunk again . " "No , massa drunk , massa ; same drunk , " replied Samb A Manly Advertisement . — There is very manly ( says a Canadian paper ) abot ' ing advertisement published in Portlan tair sex : — " This is to certify , tha ' Wright , have left my husband ' s bv account of hia misconduct . I do , all right and title to him for life that I can take care of myself , ' since ami More marriage . "
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A BOWL OF "PUSL'II , " FRESH BREWED A CHB 1 STMA 8 CAROL , j To Church betime 9 ! The Christmas chimes Are calling high and low iu ; j To Church then all , hoth great and small ! Chorus of many voices . \ We ' ve not a coat to go in ! ' ¦¦ Like our old sires , with roaring fires , The fangs of winter braving , \ Huge logs pile high , to sit thereby . Choms . | We"ve not a single shaving ! ; Good Christmas fare is physic rare To warm the regions inner ; i Plum-pudding join to stout sirloin . C'h&nts . We ve not a crust for dinner ! ¦ Fill glass and bowl , each jovial soul , As round the hearth we close in ; Our wine is bright in its ruddy light . Chorus . | Our very water ' s frozen ! ; Right late we'll sup , and keep it lip Till time to morn shaU creep on ; Then sink to rest in downy nest . | Chorus , ] We ' ve not a bed to sleep on . ' j Loud be the song , the laughter long ; Our joy no care shall leaven ; > Christmas is here but once a year j Chorus . i For that , at least , thank heaven !
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AomcCLTUBAL MosEuM . —The Agricultural Museum , lately opened under the auspices of the Hoyal Society of Agriculture , will wellVepay a visit to the rooms of the Society in Hanover Square . For the information of persons visiting London , we supply an imperfect Catalogue , which will direct the visitor to what are ceriainly the Lions of the Museum , | Caste 30 . —Very curious , containing specimens of " The English Labourer" ( vulg . " The Country ' s pr ide ") , natives of the various agricultural counties , presented by different boards of guardians . No . 1 . A Buckinghamshire labourer . — - Stands six feet high—weight , nine stone—colour sallow—eyes sunkbones very prominent . The smoeli-froek nine years old —breeches ragged—boots very bad—found in damp cottages . Fed upon bread and water , with a little bacon . When taken , attempted to destroy himself in the House . Mind uncultivated . Habits sullen and brutal .
K 0 . 2 . A Norfolk labourer . —Characteristics as above . This is one of the incendiary species . j Not . 3 , 4 , 5 . . Esses , Wiltshire , and Somertetshire labourers . —The curious visitor is requested to observe the clothes of these interesting specimens . The caises by the side of each contain portions of their usual food , and a week ' s wages . ; Case 40 . —Contains a treasure , which is indeed uni que , and which the Society feels justly proud of : — A new coat !! purchased by a labourer with a family , on 7 s . a week wages ! As far as the Society can learn , the only one ever exhibited ! j Case 54 . —The inentical bat used by Lord Coningsby in the game at cricket played by his Lordship with real labourers . There is always a crowd round this case , and no wonder . J Case 60 . —A sovereign , returned by Lord Radnor to a poor tenant on quarter-day ; sent from j llighworth . By many considered the gem of the collection .
Case 100 . —Very old " duties of property , " discovered lately in Holdernesse-house , by the Marquis of Londonderry . When furbished they have a very imposing appearance , and were brought out with great effect by the noble owner at a recent dinner given to his tenantry in Ireland . j Case 120 . —Numerous specimens of a new invention called " the rights of labour . " The ingenious patentee declares that these rights were known to our forefathers , though the secret has been lost . He exgects great results from their re-introduction . r
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Novel Mode of Paying for the } Marriage Ceremony . —On Sunday morning last an extraordinary proceeding took place at St . Mary Abbotts , Kensington , after the marriage of two individuals . The ceremony having been performed byj the Rev . Mr . Stevens before the morning service , ^ the bridegroom , a waiter at an hotel in the neighbourhood , went into the vestry-room to pay the usual fees , his new-made bride being directed by him to wait at the porch till he had settled , the bridegroom , upoji being told the amount of the fees he had to pay ( 8 s . pd . ) commenced deliberately to count a vast number of farthings ,
which he placed four m a pile . He went on this way until the table was nearly covered , and the clerk sugfested to him that it wonld be better , as he seemed eterrained to act in such an extraordinary manner , to count out the number at once ; but ; , heedless of the advice , he went on till the little piles came to the amount he had to nay . The clergyman could not wait till the end of the tedious financial operation , as he had to read the prayers in thp ihurch . The farthings were soon changed for silver at a neighbouring'house , and the whimsical \> ridejsrooin joined the l > vide , who wns shiverim ; with cold at the church door . I
Untitled Article
December 21 , 1844 . THE NORTHERN STAR . ! 3
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Citation
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Northern Star (1837-1852), Dec. 21, 1844, page 3, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/ns/issues/vm2-ncseproduct1294/page/3/
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