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September 4, 1869.] THE TOMAHAWK. Ill
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" TOMAHAWK" AT THE SEASIDE.
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Hi*, ffl.—l&amg&ati* Eng I AM land a . s...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
No. I. The Parrot Apologises For His Lon...
children At last wen we t in got the off cab . I with went the in servants a carriage . , When of course we . got The to the railway station I looked about me . I was much struck by the animal that dragged us along . It was like a clumsy Macaw , most with smoke discordant comi shriek ng out not of the its least crest . like It shrieked beautifu horribl l screams y , —a . However , I made a mental , note of the shriek my , in order to imitate At it last in the we got dead to of what night I , — hoped it may was frighten the end the children of the journey . . We They had were gone made thro b ug y men h a number , of course of , or dark else holes they , would called not tunnels have . the been roof dark off . and If P put arrots in had glass made , then them they they would would not have have taken been dark . But men never can think of anything—not even such a simple precaution as that . our M journey y hopes . were We disappointed had . to go . by We a horrible had not steamboat got half throug for six h hours . Such a beastly place I never was in . It smelt like the footman smell ; it ' s 's pantry horrible when . Then he's the cleaning smoke the and lamps the . rolling I know of the the beast men . of Wh a y boat don . ' t they There build ' s another boats which instance can ' of t roll the ? stup You idity don of ' t see they swans are inuch roll too about sensible when animals they go . Eng throug lan h d the is an water island . No an , island not ? is Because on the water it is , but too Eng heavy lan . d Then does not make roll steamboats about . Wh , so y heavy that they can ' t roll . Nothing can be simpler than that . said I must , a horridl confess y uncomfortable that I was not comfortable boat . There . It was was no , as private I have who cabin were ; and all we sick had . It to was go a amongst filthsi a ht whole . Of crowd course of I was women not , sick , but I suffered horribly . It y was g some consolation , howof i very ever t ; sick but , bad to I see . got He the le that a had wretc little cake broug hed . ht I creatures scre a cake amed in with for their a it him ; agony and , intending in . . a B cabin What obby to stuff was full did give me peop a turn was screaming to see the goes people long getting way green ; for I thought , good heavens ! "if I turn green , I may be taken for a parroquet that I was . " as I beautiful was miserable as . ever till , with I looked the exception in a glass of and a sli saw ght disarrangement of my feathers . Three of the women looked so turn yellow into cockatoos and white before that I their reall time y expected . they were going to At last we got safe on shore , and I found myself in France . make Some out inquisitive ) wanted men to look ( called at my " Buccaneers palace to see , " as if there far as we I re could any such cigars filth or y sp habits irits inside as smoking it . As and if drinking a Parrot spirits could ! be They guilty must of be of France an ignorant to search people your here luggag . I believe e and clothes it is one for of cigars the customs . It is a very We have rude got custom settled , I think now , . thank heavens ! and I have got my they room call with the cheerful Plague windows , I suppose looking because out on so the many sea men and what and and women I am walk happy up and to say down I know there all . about I have France been here and the three French days , nation le . . It does not take a Parrot long to understand such peop The first thing that struck me about the French was that annoy quite tures two of ing that -third to sort cows s of . , the and It must men calves make are , and butchers their sheep lives . , and This a burden pigs must , and be to them crea very - always to see such heard a France number was of a their great executioners military nation always ; and about every . I - body knows soldiers are butchers , and here I suppose butchers because are soldiers the . French They can eat ' nothing t be all wanted but frogs to and kill chickens beef and . mutton But I , it have takes come five to or the six conclusion of them to that kill as an they oxthree are a very or four feebl to e kill race a , frog sheep j , so two that or , three in this to way kill the a chicken number , and of , butchers one or is two quite to kill satis a - factorily accounted for . At this rate it would take about nine to than or I E ten could ngland any of other them see . at In to nation a the kill glance first , a and man that lace they , France so there are that quite is is they a not rig very want ht half to inferior a so have larger much it country . arm rain y here 1 and I am certain p it is , a very poor country , for I have . nonsense not seen a to singl tell e me drunken that men man would since not I have get been drunk here if , they and it had is
money . I wonder some of the butchers don ' t turn bonnett : makers about without , for it is perfectl bonnets y disgraceful on their to heads see . the But women I knew goings thtm any go French about we without re a very any indecent feathers peop on their le . head Parrots . It mi ' s ght no use just tal as kinggj wel'l You to me don about ' t see their women clean in Eng white land caps walk . A about pretty all thing day , indeed in theiiA ! \\ had nightcap rather s because lie in bed they all can day ' t first afford . to buy bonnets . No , theyji on I the have strange had occasion indistinctness to remark with which in one the of my men former and womenn paperss Then speak they ; but rattle on this on at point such the a pac French e that , even are reall if they y unbearable could talkk .: .. a decent language , you would never be able to hear them . A ^ crowd of starlings is nothing to them . I never heard of suchi impertinence different ^ language myself from as Eng these lish . peop I le know presuming no Parrot to talk wouldl ai courage stand it , . he If would the general just wal of k his the men Eng over lish Army to this had country got andl any / - vermin make them . That speak is the English , we or used put them to down as in inarticulate Parrotland . : There , any tribe of Parrot way s , Cockatoos manage , or Parroquets , that : , dared to learn to ours talk , any and peculiar if they did languag not we e of killed their them own , . we This told saved them us and them a great deal of trouble . worth more I must to all say end the about this trouble paper the , for now French I , for am next I quite am tired week convinced . ; not I shal that that l have they a more some are stand frivolous a word , immoral of their , dirty language nation , does and this not is exist the . firs I t don time ' t under I ever - heaven saw France 1 That , so ' s nobod the y last can charge say that that I am ever prejudiced can be . broug Thank ht against me .
September 4, 1869.] The Tomahawk. Ill
September 4 , 1869 . ] THE TOMAHAWK . Ill
" Tomahawk" At The Seaside.
" TOMAHAWK" AT THE SEASIDE .
Hi*, Ffl.—L&Amg&Ati* Eng I Am Land A . S...
Hi * , ffl . —l & amg & ati * Eng I AM land a . simp For le instance child of , nature when , I in am spite wronged of my naturalisation or insulted , in in - libel stead , as of civilisation going to my prompts lawyer me and to do commencing , I would far an sooner action fly for at my opponent ' s throat and have at his life blood—a far more merciful Club and revenge plying . him Instead with of some asking " peculiar my enemy " champ to dinner agne at of my a sooner cheap and meet poisonous him hand vintage to hand to the and danger knife to of knife his life on , I the would yellow far grass This last of the idea lonel strikes y prairie rne so , as forcibl becomes that a for brave the and benefit a warrior of the . world I present it in a dramatic form y , . It ' s not about Ramsgate waves in , " and the shall least write ; but what I am I like out — of and town I like , by to the write " this sad . sea Scene . —The ? noming room of the Pantheon Club . Busby discovered waiting patiently for the Child of the Prairie . and He reads is much the deli August hted number thereat . of Still " Britannia he the Magazine clock hur , - " riedly from time g to time , and in . pantomime eyes expresses that he hungers for food . Members ( reading newspapers ) eye Aim the ivith Prairie sympathising . glances . Enter abntptly the Child of kept Child you waiting of the . Prairie . —My dear Busby , I do hope I ' ve not Busby . —Oh dear no—I'd only just come . JBtiter a Small Boy /// a livery tail-coat and a very stiff " tvhite choker . Small Boy ( savagel y to the Child of the Prairie ) . —Your dinner ' s h'up , Sir . Exit Small Boy , banging the swing doors after hint . the Child banquet of the awaits Prairie us . { ^ Aside heartil ) y ) He . —Come goes , my to dear his doom fellow , ! [ Exeunt . ) The Slow scene music changes of knives to the and Coffee forks - heard room of as the the Child Pantheon of Clul thje . Prairie and his Guest enter . The Waiters shudder and murmur to one another as the Qwwq passes them .
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Sept. 4, 1869, page 111, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_04091869/page/13/
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