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August 7, 1869.3 THE TOMAHA WKt 63
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THE JVATIOJVi
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$Lo. &—0lv. $qttig*ii£, tfje iLatogcr* {...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
August 7, 1869.3 The Tomaha Wkt 63
August 7 , 1869 . 3 THE TOMAHA WKt 63
The Jvatiojvi
THE JVATIOJVi
$Lo. &—0lv. $Qttig*Ii£, Tfje Ilatogcr* {...
$ Lo . &—0 lv . $ qttig * ii £ , tfje iLatogcr * { Continued from page 52 . ) IX . The transformation of Mr . Squigsby from the grub-clerk into the butterfly article brought with it some peculiar consequences . all shiny In the the boots first effulgence p , lace and , a to Mr very be . S obtained qui brig gsb ht y scarf himself from , and a very suddenl a very shiny y burst heav hat y and forth watch very in - j chainand his splendour completely bewildered his former companions him come wi , with th . a Judges astonishment sort of ' Chambers silent , and and . the In the the Bankruptcy Taxing second Offices lace Court were he regarded did over not - hide his light under a bushel envy . He gave himself p more , airs than I ever . He even commenced to speak of Slicker as getting be-I and yond as his one business who would , as a not man have that had he had a rap pushed , if it hadn on in ' t the been world for , him " , Pie Mr ' s . S old qui and gsby . useless What for is more all purposes , he believed of business it too . , " Mr . for Squigsby me he'd would have say been . " struck I must off stjr the him Rolls up long . If ago it ; hadn but ' I t must been stick to him till my time ' s up . " It had not been through any deficiency of operations on the j ! part to which of Mr his . Squi clerk gsby referred that Mr . . There Slicker had had in not truth met been with the several fate very nasty threatenings to this effect , brought about by Mr . general Squigsby public ' s proceedings , had been ; ni but pped which in the , however bud by compromises unfortunately effected for the at the last moment . Mr . Squigsby , as Mr . Slicker ' s articled had clerk been , was as still the as junior fertile clerk of resources . for making money as he " I tell you what it is , " he said one day to Mr . Slicker , " we ' re in one another ' s way in this office , we must have branches . " " Branches ! " echoed Slicker . of " London Yes , " said ; we Mr 'll beg . Squi in with gsby one ; " branch at the West offices -end in — different I'll attend parts to it I' , ll and carry we it 'll on double in your the name business . " in no time . You shall take it . " But the clients ? " " I'll get ' em , " said Mr . Squigsby .
x . And he was as good as his word . In a very short time Mr . Slicker found himself carrying on a West-end office and an East-end office and a South-end office . The bill he paid for brass plates of " Mr . Slicker , Solicitor , " to be stuck up upon the door-posts of the various offices he had taken , was considerable . He never went near any of them . Mr . Squigsby managed them exclusively in his employer ' s name . Indignant clients and tortured defendants rushing violently into the branch he offices was and at his asking country appealing seat , l or y for on " the Mr . Continent Slicker , " , were but that informed Mr . he Squigsb did attend y would to attend them . to He the attended matters in to question them , too ; , and in a well defi , too ant , manner solel , the Mr responsibility . Slicker . The arising costs throug he made h any ! blunder and with falling him - . y upon "making costs" was one of his greatest talents . The simplest p of iece his of ingenuity business , rap coming idly resolve into the itself office into would a heavy , by bill the of exercise costs . If no one got anything out of the litigation or the business , and there if would there still were be anything the " costs to be , " which got , it would was ten have chances to be to paid one , had if the they " costs , in the " didn course ' t swallow of the it proceedings all up , so ingeniousl , been " made y and . " artfull Tax y - ing Masters were powerless in cutting down the items . There they were—the business had been done—and the legal remunefor ration all . must Mr . be Squigsby allowed insisted . Mr . Slicke upon gratuities r , however and , didn bonuses ' t come and in all shares sort — s oh of I presents no—that , as would a reward not be for allowed his exertions j but . it It was wasn , vo ' - t luntary compensation on the part of Mr . Slicker for his clerk ' s prevent expenses a out liberal of -minded pocket ; master and is making there a law a present so stern to that his inde shall - fatigable clerk—especially such a clerk as Mr . Squigsby ? XI . From a pecuniary point of view Mr . Squigsby was getting on
remarkabl own , a smal y l well trap . He of his had own got , a and bank a of variety his own of , a other house appur of his - » advancement tenances of his . own He , was which even are contemp considered lating evidences a wife of of his worldl own y ; he but was we must not progressing not anticipate so favourabl . From an y . intellectual His time of point service of view was , upon the point of expiry , and he would have to go through the ordeal of an examination at the Law Society , and whenever Mr . perceptible Squigsby thought to his understanding of this arrangement that he it was became dreadfull immediatel y deficient y in any real knowledge of the law . He had never read . His cleverness was " wrinkles . " All his information had been derived from an active practice in the lower branches of the science . He was going tip to be examined by the Incorporated Law Society , and he must be prepared for ' the business . In other words , he must get through—he must obtain his certificate . That was the task he set himself to accomplish . So that he effected In fact , if the he object could it get did through not matter by hoodwinking a pin to him the how Examiners he did it . it of would his sharpness be , in his , and estimation consequentl , all the y of more his convincing ability to act evidence as an attorney . xi r . " Seventy-five questions to be answered in writing , " mused Mr . Squigsby , as he thought of the nature of his examination . " Fifteen in each department of the law . Common Law , Conveyancing never read , a E book quity . , Bankruptcy Something , must and be Criminal done . Law If the , and papers I ' ve were given out I could pay another fellow to answer them for me , but they have to be answered in the Hall , in the presence the of the deuce Examiners of it . — B with Jove the I wonder eye of the whether Beadle I upon could you bribe —that the ' s 1 j y , g Beadle lorious to way let of me getting copy another through . man " ' s answers . It would be a j quite Upon feasible consideration , and , therefore , however , , Mr this . arrangement Squigsby determined didn't appear to j " cram . " For this purpose , he engaged an individual whose occupation consisted in rendering students fit subjects for the most His operations stringent were legal to examination obtain the old in the questions shortest that possible had been period put , j heads at previous of his ordeals pupils . , and The cramming candidate the would answers then to have them to into depend the upon the doctrine of chances as to whether the questions that had been previously asked should turn up again at his particular examination , in which case it would be just probable that his knowledge would be just sufficient to entitle him to pass . " Mind , " said Mr . Squigsby as he made the arrangement with nothing his Coach 1 " , " no cure , no pay ; if I don ' t get through , you get atten " All d to rig my ht , " instructions said the Coach ; and . " now You let ' re ' s sure go to to work manage . " it if you
XIII . They went to work with a vengeance . Mr . Squigsby soon found that the system was one of memory , and every aid he could think of in this matter in order to enable him to remember the proper answers to the most prominent questions was broug took his ht into Coach operation in several . He times wrote by them answering on his straight finger nails off . , and He had small pieces of paper wiih answers upon them in his watch-case , which he would refer to as if he were looking at the time . He even lent money to a student he had met in the Library of the Law Society , named Flibber , and who was well up , and was going up at the same examination in the hope that he might prove of service to him upon the important day . " If Squigsb I sit near y , " Flibber I ' ll make on him the tell day me . of If examination he won ' t , , " I'll thoug sue him ht Mr for . the money he owes me . " XIV . The important day came at last . In the Hall of the Law Society in Chancery Lane the candidates were assembled . Tlie Examiners had taken their seats . The Chairman had made a speech concerning the importance of the undertaking before them , and then the papers had been delivered . Mr . Squigsby was in a fever of agitation . He glanced through the questions ; he could make nothing of the majority of them . They were apparentl written answers y all new he ones referred . He referred to his watch to his -case nails : there , black was with no ;
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Aug. 7, 1869, page 63, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_07081869/page/11/
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