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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 11th May 1867, Edition 1 of 1, Page unpag, OUR PRELIMINARY WAR-WHOOP.

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  • Departments (3)
    • OUR PRELIMINARY WAR-WHOOP.
    • ADVENTURES OF A SPECIAL CONSTABLE.
    • MY WALPOLE!
  • Pictures (1)
  • Text (9)
  • Transcript

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      , The Tomahawk. [Mayii, I8$ 7

      , THE TOMAHAWK . [ Mayii , i 8 $ 7

      Pc00403

      London, May N, 1867.

      LONDON , MAY n , 1867 .

      Our Preliminary War-Whoop.

      OUR PRELIMINARY WAR-WHOOP .

      We Send Abroad Our Tomahawk As A Duty Wh...

      We send abroad our Tomahawk as a duty which we cannot forbear . A small , but united , band of Braves , we can no longer submit in silence to the meanness , the injustice , and above all , to the humbug which civilised society imposes upon us . We have , therefore , been compelled to dig up the hatchet or \ rl + r » < = # » nr 1 it vrm-nri to all tHV > e « _ so that pverv true Brave mav

      know that we are out upon the war-path , and that we intend simply to scalp everybody "who does not agree with us . Being more or less logical , and therefore pitiless , we spare neither age , sex , nor rank ; and whenever we find the pale-faced vices we abhorwe shall do our best * to exterminate them . If anybody-, wants to know our opinions , we may say generally that we are bitter enemies of the whole tribe of Shams , and as for particular

      applications of them , we mean to scalp—Any medicine man who persists in imposing upon us a Reform Bill which professes to do one thing , but Teally does another . of Any demagogues who bring disgrace on ^ he cause the people by using it for the promotion of their own small personal notoriety . Any Home Secretary who goes out on the war-path , and then

      runs away . Any play-wright who either invents or translates stale and unprofitable nonsense . I Anybody who contradicts us . i And , in fact , everybody who invades our hunting-grounds with the pale-face ' s weapons of deceit and fraud . I Those who don ' t like our principles need not buy our paper . , 'hose who do buy it may very possibly get scalped themselves ,. out then they will always have the satisfaction of finding that pme of their enemies , or even some of their friends , are visited : the same fate .

      Adventures Of A Special Constable.

      ADVENTURES OF A SPECIAL CONSTABLE .

      'Of Course Became A Special Constable. I...

      ' of course became a special constable . If you ask me why , it was , when narrating the history of the terrible 6 th of May , i 86 £ , to my adchildren , I might add , with an imposing gesture , " et quorum pars -nafuL " t . y hopss of earning immortality at the price of breaking some one « nr trMt \ r \ rr mv own head broken , were crushed bv Waloole and the

      ¦ v 'wever , I meant well—I did my duty as a loyal citizen . I took the ' ad my staff , and walked forth into the streets , conscious that I dowed with the majesty of the law . i ! here comes a ( adjective ) Bobby ! " cried a turbulent coster-I eyed him sternly—I think he quivered—his eyelid did , at \ hing I did when I got home was to read the printed direcuh x . uiKuvciai

      iiati uccii ^ iveii meciticiuiiy < juj ^ u . jiuju , \ s expected to perform prodigies of valour—to take into & only by the abstract majesty of the law , whole bodies of jiy « r staff mined firml that y , , aivd if p vowed ossible that , their I would heads do sh < my 5 fuld duty not , be or whole perish . pt .. " * V Wibiiiid I was Briareus for the nonce , but I u of a special constable . I also reflected that ands would not go far .

      'Of Course Became A Special Constable. I...

      I had to be on my beat at Grubbington Square by 5 o ' clock . Need I say that I was punctual ? A quarter of an hour afterwards arrived my fellow-constable ^ pate Shall . I ever foiget .. the ¦ ¦ ¦ horrors of that night ? But I must not

      antici-Jt < or five weary Jjpuirsf paced that melancholy square . The low insolence which I had to endure at the hands of the juvenile population I will strive to forget . It was my duty to bear it , and I did . I was beginning to get tired * " I Stall tried to console myself with humourous reflections on my own cUgnity—such as , that I resembled a Field-Marshal , because I had a b & ton ., and was attended by a staff . But even these merry conceits . failed to exhilarate me . At last , « foq » t half-past eleven o ' clock , my fellow-constable Having told himself eff for snecial dutv at the mtblic-house round the corner- as

      I was passing one of the dingiest houses of all , I heard a fearful shriek . Yes , a smothered shriek 1 I listened . Again !— -it proceeded feom ¦ the ¦ Grasp kitche ing my n , floor staff . , and To < co c 1 siftb mmending the area my railings creditors was to the the work favourable of a miaute con- . { sideration fearful sound of — Government this timeevidentl , I prepared from to descend a recess the steps site . the Again kitchen the ¦ window . , '_ , y oppo I could see the door apparently leading to some cellar ; with a bealixig Slxeart I felt . for the handle : it opened . Yes ,, a dark cellar ,, with a damp 4 iotor 1

      jsmeii . w ± longed a lamp : Suddenly , glaring at me from out bf the darkness , I beheld two fearsful , fiery eyes—two , < Md I say ? there " were four—six—eight—the place was alive with them ! I felt choking with terror , when suddenly there burst out a yell so terrible from one of the monsfcers , that I started back to the door—two of the eyes were slowly creeping towards ane . I reached tae

      ¦ ooor— -j . pttsneet-. at it . . liood . Heavens , I had . locked , mysett m I The yells grew louder and louder—a hissing sound—two snore of the igleaming eyes are coming towards me—and then with one leap . . . '„ \ JVote dy the Editor— . The rest of our correspondent ' s ¦ narrative is too horrible for publication . It appears that he had found Jiis way . into a coal cellar , where the cats of the neighbourhood were holding a Reform meeting . We are happy to say that , with , the aid of ^ liachlyon-. plaister and cooling lotions , he is rapidly recovering . ] . .

      My Walpole!

      MY WALPOLE !

      'Vide Cartoon. What Statesman Bbales Mos...

      'Vide Cartoon . What statesman Bbales most my , tog fancy . charms ? ¦ Who saved me from my dread alarms—. From smarting in Britannia ' s arms ? e - MyWalpole ! My foolish brag had almost taught A lesson I had little thought—Who shielded me from being caught ? My Walpole ! Who saved me by his timorous tears From all my fancy ' s idle fears ? . Well greet him with ten thousand cheers , My Walpole j Who sported pleasantly with law ? * Who placed the town ' within the jaws Of civil discord , void of awe ? My Walpole ! Who kindly said , ' * Your little game , If played or not , was all the sam *^ " , ¦ ' To ¦¦ " him ' ' ?—Heaven bless . his My good Walptrfe old name ! ! , . ¦ ¦ . i k

      —-There Is Oneinan In England Who, We Sh...

      — -There is oneinan in England who , we should "tw *"" were to bqr ' an election , would be afraid of going to t he inight ho . to the wail 1 That man—need ™^ p •—* pole . / \

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), May 11, 1867, page unpag, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_11051867/page/4/