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February 12, 1870.] THE TOM AHA WK. $7
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MASKING A WIFE.
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A man was fined 10s. the other day for p...
Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
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Transcript
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
Still On Board The Poojah, Yan. 30, 1870...
characters had been kindly undertaken by the cast of Hamlet but not having time to change their dresses , they asked the in- , dulgence of the audience :, as they would have to go through the modern English drama in mediaeval Danish costume . I subjoin the programe of the dramatis persona , who seem to have selected their respective parts with much judgment : — PROGRAMME OF CHARACTERS IN BLACK-EYED SUSAN , As jelled { by desire ) by the , characters i ? i Hamlet . Captain Crosstree ... ... Hamlet ( Prince of Denmark ) . William ( with a hornpipe ) ... The Ghost of Hamlefs Father . Hatchett ( a Smuggler ) ... Pplonius . Gnatbrain DoggrASS ( Susan's Uncle ... ) . . . . . . Fortin The King bras ( Princeof Norway ) . . / Laertes . I Voltimand . Captains and Sailors ... { \ Rosencrantz Cornelius . . I Guildenstern . \ Osric . / A Gentleman . I A Priest . Marines i I Marcellns Bernardo . . 1 Francisco . \ Reynaldo . 61 Members Martial of the Court . „ . A (^ 7 i ™ ** Chwm ! * " ; ( , grave diggers ,. . ) . Populace , & c . ... ... ... English Captain Ambassadors . . Lord High Admiral ( with ( The Captain of HJ . K . M . S . a couple of hornpipes ) ... \ Pqojah . Dam Susan e Hartly ... ... ... A Ophelia Lady . of the Danish Court . Dolly Mayflower \ / Gertrud - and mother e ( Queen to Hamlet of Denmark ) . , However , they did not get far into the piece , for just as the ghost ( as William ) Had . got to his line "Well , my lads , what matters ! Belay these " — tnelea ' k was announced . I send you my notes as jotted down in the confusion . . . ' 10 p . m . Somebody , I think the third mate * has reported a leak . We co hav rk e in appealed . * I am to afraid thp captain he is less , but sober all than he says at nine is " . then The put con a - tractor has turned up , and proposes a " committee of safety . " He says if we all go to the bottom It will cost him . £ 274 9 s . 4 d ., and this seems to make him very anxious . * * * ** * » * We have met in committee , and they have put me in the chair . I have moved that we go and examine the "leak . " but Somebod who seems y , whose a good office deal on the emp shi loyed p I in couldn the hold ' t exactl says y catch it is a , " nasty one , and no mistake , " and that if there is , a parson on board we had better throw him over . I have put this to the vote ever , , the and ch it aplain has been was carried left behind by a . majority of six . I think , how-In the hold . The official was . I 11 have . 10 p never . m . seen a real leak before vague and so I do not know wrong what it ought to look like ; but I do not , think much of this . I expected to see a sort of cataract , and hear a terrible roar ; but this is a mere seems hole rally enoug about , too , h plenty as , is big pouring of as the room in top for briskl of it . one y I , ' have but s hat nothing suggested , and the more water to . the , There natu com - - mittee been greeted that perhaps with a we shout had of better derisive " let laughter well alone and " a sob This fro has m ping Hamlet , has , who been , after carried a convulsive on to the deck allusion in a to fit his , mother at Wap-The contractor wants to know what I mean to do as . 50 I am . m . in the chair . I have suggested a towel . Somebody in , a tarpaulin hat lubbers , and , you boots thinks up a to swab his is breast as good , say s , " day Lor as bless a keel you -hauling land- , a but Somebod majority be darned y has of fifteen to seconded you . for This this a set has , and of annoyed a it spliced has been me top put ar gallants id and I have carrie in a asked fog 4 by . " have what invited on earth suggestions t ? iey } meaning . A great the m rhany ajority peop , , want le have me to stepped do . I - ' 1 . 11 .... . .. 1 ..
forward with them at once ; but I must take them one at a time . who The firs says t is that from all a pale we want , scientific is a gentleman " disoxygenising , in blue anti spectacles -bromide , the exhaustive water coming refrigerator in into , " which its , chemical if properly divisions applied . , will He separate says by ' i certainl this mean y does s we seem shall an immediatel advantage y get and rid is of better the oxygen than nothing , which . As to the remaining properties of , the water , he has promised to \ read was lost up the by a subject large , majority and let , us the know only the vote result in its . fa This vour motion beinggiven by a " scientific " instrument maker from Oxford street , who cheap said . he could let us have an " exhaustive refrigerator" \ i Midnight . ; Suggestions are pouring in . as fast as the water . It seems to \ me the best thing would be , cork up the hole with a hat-box ; but the scientific passenger has just gone through an elaborate of sum the to hole prove , so that is the , as pressure the surface to— of I forget the ocean exactl is y to what the —but depth , I suppose , to the hat-box . He says the weight on it would , amount in half a minute to five hundred and seventy-two thou- : sand tons ; and as the general opinion appears to be that this pressure and are going would - to bring try blotting the bottom -paper , . out , we have abandoned it , * » * * * * « Dead failure . I am sure the thing is getting very serious . Notwithstanding the ugly look of matters , there is a funny man who keeps interrupting the practical efforts to save the ship by unseemly jokes . He has just asked us why the Poojah is like a hardened swindler ; and upon our all giving it up moodily , has forced upon us the answer that it is because it " let in the passengers at starting and now it is letting in the water . " I have in told command him , as chairman of the vessel of the and Safety shall have Committee him put , I am into virtuall irons if y he attempts to demoralize , the crew at such a moment . The mate : { at the tells fore me " I having had " better got a let great him reputation be , " as he for is very geneality popular by asking everyone , he meets " how the enemy goes , " meaning the time own , invention and by going which throug he calls h a " rather the grasshopper violent comic at lunch scene . " of his As it having happens given , there them , are by way no irons of a practical to put him joke , into wrapt , the in Captain sausage thinks meat , to he a can shark arrange . The something mate , nevertheless with a coup , says le of , if flat I wish irons it and he however the tongs , . has I met have it b threatened y an inquiry the wh funny y " I man don' with t thro this w in , who the , shovel ? " And I think there is something in the suggestion . Why shouldn't I 1 2 a . m . We are evidently going down , and nobody seems equal to a remedy . ¦»•«** Here ' s the Captain . He has got on two life buoys , and has a dozen of marmalade and a bottle of rum fastened round his in waist case . of He a evidentl sudden y foundering is prepared , is for a han the dkerchief worst . All full I have of cham got - , tre pagne ss . corks The , firework an umbrella however , and a is firework very large for a and signal I believe of diswhen lighted , represents , Napoleon , and his army , crossing , the , m Al ay ps , see ten it times if I have the size to li of ght life it . all I do at hope once . some They passing surely mu shi s p t see that something is wrong . Of course it would be far better for me if I could let ofT an Alp at a time , and use Napoleon in limbs . You will probably get this letter in 1890 , picked up in . a stout bottle .
February 12, 1870.] The Tom Aha Wk. $7
February 12 , 1870 . ] THE TOM AHA WK . $ 7
Masking A Wife.
MASKING A WIFE .
A Man Was Fined 10s. The Other Day For P...
A man was fined 10 s . the other day for putting an iron mask on his wife ' s head to prevent her drinking . In every other respect he appears to have treated her well , and yet he was fined 1 os . for trying to save her from the consequences of her own vile nature . This is one of the beauties of English justice—a woman her conj ugal ruin partner her husband may not even and children make use by of inebriation the mild , pre and - ventive of an iron mask . Yet our French neighbours believe her that own in England , Can a man married who has woman a drunken cannot wife even ? call The idea soul was an excellent one , and we are sorry it is illegal .
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Feb. 12, 1870, page 57, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_12021870/page/5/
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