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Tomahawk (1867-1870), 20th March 1869, Edition 1 of 1, Page 123, OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.

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  • Departments (3)
    • NEW BROOMS AT THE WAR OFFICE.
    • OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY.
    • CIVIC INDISCRETION
  • Text (7)
  • Transcript

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      March 20, I86 9.L The Tomahawk. 123

      March 20 , i 86 9 . l THE TOMAHAWK . 123

      New Brooms At The War Office.

      NEW BROOMS AT THE WAR OFFICE .

      Scene.—A Room In Pall Mali, Time.—A Quar...

      Scene . —A Room in Pall Mali , Time . —A Quarter past Four . Present . —Sir H . Stocks ( pledged to reorganise everything rirht a ? id every hand bod ) . y Mr )^ General . Halt ' em Wallflour ( an official of ( his the old assistant school ) and .

      General . W . —I have been lately engaged in collecting the statistics of every conceivable subject at any time brought under the notice of any Secretary of State , and I find that the subjects and the time occupied in their discussion are in the that ratio our of 404 time to may 402 , in and future from be these broug premises ht into harmony I have concluded with the amount one may of be business brought to which react up have on the ot transact her to a ve and ry that intere the sting point of exactitude . Sir H . S . —Quite so . General Wallflour . Your statistical researches are as valuable and profound as those of Professor Darwin . By-the-bye , have we that valuation of stores completed General which W we . — ordered I have some a numerous time ago staff ? of officials now engaged in its production . There is one clerk pursuing every figure ever entered in tlie 50 , 000 books in his charge , another revising each figure so caught and placing it in a patent calculating machine of Mr . Babbage ' s to see that it has not fraudulently misrepresented itself , and a third surveying the process with a microscopic eye-glass , to provide against collusion between the machine and the figures introduced to it ; so I think I may claim credit for adapting my materials to the end in view . Mr . Halt ' em .- —May I ask what the end in view may be % 1 think that much General less personal W . —I , end do not in view refer , but to any to larger distinct matters and specific having , ends in view , which it is in no way necessary to conceal . Mr . Halt ' em . —I was going to observe that if the end of the return to which you refer was in view , it would probably exhibit . Sir H , £ . 5 S , 000 . —Ah as , the very cost likel of y its ; incubation but you know . that there are larger reductions coming- into existence spontaneously . However , to change the subject , has Mr . Rigmarole left the building yet ? Mr . Halt'em . —Yes , he must have gone , as it is past four . Have you heard that he has had an anonymous letter advising as him in these no account daof to reduc leave tions his seat and retrenchmen for twelve hours ts the together re is no knowing how ys soon he may be abolished ? official i f General this is th considerable e case . — , I it do is not discretion not unlikel credit y t he hese that has as rumours taken Mr . Ri the ; gmarole but precaution , perh is aps an to his chair home with him . , NowI know from statistical experience carry on the subject of chairs , that , a cane chair Sir H . S . —Let me understand . Are the chairs used in this office public or private prdperty ? about Mr . the Halt chairs ' em . — shall The we office send -kee for per him , Mr ? . Diddle , knows all ; , Sir H . S . —It is scarcely necessary , but as you have rung the bell let him be summoned .

      { Enter Mr . Diddle . ) Sir H . S . —Are chairs public property ? H Mr . D ? iddle . —The chairs you gentlemen are sitting on , Sir enry Sir H . S . —War Office chairs . Chairs used by everybody in the Department . Mr . Diddle . —There are clerks ' chairs—cane-bottomed and , leather there are and chairs clerks of three ' chairs descri doubled ptions -fronted . In room . In . 972 room ^ No . * 21 Sir H . S . —Thank you . That will do , Mr . Diddle . ( Exit Mr . Diddle . ) General W . —Mr . Diddle is a very valuable servant . When Sir will H . the S . — return Undoubtedl of valuation y so . be But ready to , revert General Wallflour business ? things General of value W . — and It things will take of no time value to comple whose value , for there has to be computed . , Sir H . S . —We may report progress , I think . There is , how-¦

      Scene.—A Room In Pall Mali, Time.—A Quar...

      ever , another matter respecting which I seek information . I decided some time ago that each War Office account should be weighed , measured , and gauged , in order to ascertain how long each clerk should take to audit it . How is this progressing % General W . —There are several officials engaged in this important duty . Paymasters' accounts are now being measured and weighed under the avoirdupois table , apothecaries under the apothecaries ' , and purveyors under the ale and beer measure ; and the result of this figurative display will , I trust , be highly satisfactory . I think Sir H a . djourn S . —There . can be no doubt about it . We may now , , [ They adjourn .

      Other People's Money.

      OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY .

      The Reckless Manner In Which The Supplem...

      The reckless manner in which the Supplemental Estimate for the Abyssinian War was recently carried in the House of Commons may well strike terror into the bosom of the British taxpayer supplied . That offhand a sum with of onl , £ y 3 a , 600 little , 000 desultory should grumbling be asked for on and the part of a few outside members is perfectly astounding . Now that the money has been supplied and handed over to the Indian exchequer , it is late in the day to raise any ugly questions over the charges of a million and a half for mules , a million and and a half half a million for land or transport more for , four coals millions but it for sea as transport well be , noted for future guidance , in case of our ; finding may ourselves in a second Abyssinian difficulty , that the conduct of the expedition should not be entrusted to the Indian Government , at all events if this country is again to find the money . Official nature is human nature after all , and even officials are apt to be lavish and extravagant in dealing with money which they do not themselves have to raise and collect .

      Civic Indiscretion

      CIVIC INDISCRETION

      There Are Numbers Of People Who Look On ...

      There are numbers of people who look on the Times as a daily necessity , and whose boast it is that they " read everything , '' who never trouble themselves even to bestow a glance on the police reports , as they argue that the charges there recorded are such mere repetitions of a certain number of very old stories . It is true enough perhaps that one day's " Police" is very like any other day ' s " Police " you may be pleased to pick out ; but if the repetition theory extends itself to charges such as that recently heard at the Guildhall , the sooner the police reports are carefully studied by the public the better . who One appeared day last with week his Henry left arm Thorp in e , splints aged 19 , , was a slender charged youth with , disorderly behaviour in Finsbury circus . Police Constable Warren stated that on the previous evening the defendant was dancing with a young woman in the Circus , and was told to " move on . " The prisoner refused to do so , and took hold of p the oliceman iron railings got kicked to resist . This , wh was ereon the a case struggle for the ensued prosecution , and the . For the defence it was shown that all the violence was on at the a part ll . The of the officer officer came , and into that the the Circus assault suddenl was not committed dashed at the defendantand pushed him roughly into , the roadway y . The defendant officer ran asked at him , wh agai y he n , was when treated the defendant in such a laid manner hold , and of the the railings . Another officer then came up and the defendant walked quietly with them ; but on the way to the station Warren took hold of the defendant by the left wrist and twisted one After bone this out evidence of its socket Alder on man the D top ak in another dismissed . the case on the grounds that the constable " had not used the proper amount of discretion which he ought . " Discretion indeed ! If wringing a lad ' s arm wantonly from its socket is only indisdentl creet , y such be recognized minor brutalities by the civic as kicks magistrates and pushes as commend must a evi ble precautions conditioned and No wonder e ra our bble police avowed force l is inefficient becoming for an the illprotection of public savag property , , and act y ually conducive to breaches of the public peace .

  • Citation
    • Tomahawk (1867-1870), March 20, 1869, page 123, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_20031869/page/5/