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242 THE TOMAHA WK. [November 27, 186 9 —...
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REFORM IN OLYMPUS.
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CHAPTER II.—IN WHICH JUPITER KEEPS HIS R...
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Note: This text has been automatically extracted via Optical Character Recognition (OCR) software. The text has not been manually corrected and should not be relied on to be an accurate representation of the item.
Additionally, when viewing full transcripts, extracted text may not be in the same order as the original document.
242 The Tomaha Wk. [November 27, 186 9 —...
242 THE TOMAHA WK . [ November 27 , 186 ——
Reform In Olympus.
REFORM IN OLYMPUS .
Chapter Ii.—In Which Jupiter Keeps His R...
CHAPTER II . —IN WHICH JUPITER KEEPS HIS RESOLUTION . chapter the Goddesses It business was , and the were of there day seen packing after was hurry the up a ing , great conversation while to stir others and in fro , stood Ol recorded , evidentl ympus about ; y in Gods intent in our small and last on groups Mars , eagerl was talking y discussing to iEsculap the news ius , who . , with spectacles on nose , and in his most pompous manner , was laying down the law . mortal " I tell could you live , " sai up d the here great . The Doctor lungs , of " that man it are ' s impossible so constructed ; no I th excess at the of caloric excess of and oxygen the carbon would of produce the tissues a would corresponding at once be epigastric consumed neural , causing , gia , g vomiting iddiness , , nausea and finall , vertigo y indi , musca gestion -volans and , death . " word "Well s : I ! daresay " said M they ars 'll , " be I don jolly ' t sick understand crossing your the milk crack y way -jaw ; but old Jove ' s sworn he'll get them up here , and he ' s not a man to " go How from does his word your . " good lady take it ? " asked ^ Esculapius , leering out of his small pink eyes . place " Oh than , she this does —besides not care , she ; she ' s used says to , Earth it . She is a says much she livelier ' s only sorry for my sake ; we can ' t go to Italy , because that old ass Vulcan is there . " . " And how do you like it , most noble General ? " ing " , Well except , I in think those it will outlandish be rather savage slow p ; laces they like ' ve g New iven Zealand up fight- ; like besides getting , all those well up new to -fang my led man inventions and hitting spoil him my a game sounding . * I crack and picking on the him head off . I at don a coup 't care le about of miles skulking distance behind ; I call a bank that , mean . " you " I will was find not thinking plenty of of that your going favourite on before occupation long . . I I onl daresay y was earth thinking " and you the might Doctor be a little a chuckle jealous of which your made fair lady its on with difficulty s through the layers gave of fat which , formed his throat way . " Smarm your impudence ! " rejoined Mars , — " I should like to see any of those finicking puppets speak to the little woman before me . " " " No I'll , put but my behind foot your behind back your ?" back if you don ' t keep a civil tongue in your head , you pill-chewing porpoise , you ! " The conversation was getting warm . Bacchus came slouching up just at this moment . prospect " Well , of my being boys out , how of are office you ?" getting along ? Do you like the " How do you like it ? " asked Mars sulkily . " Oh , delightful \ I hate nectar , it ' s so d—^ d heady . Give stunning me Chateau little Lafitte place in , or the Rcederer South ' of s Carte France Blanch . I've e . just I ' ve bough got a t a chateau—splendid wine—lovely women . Come and stay with me—bring Venus . The Doctor can come too ; though he won ' t have at that much as I to am do . — He except recommends to drink j abstemiousness by Jove , he ' s nearl , but y he as ' good s too - wise ^ Esculap to practise ius such it , a — p E lay h f ? ul old dig Salts in the -and ribs -Senna as effectua ! " and lly d he isposed gave [ of the very little breath in him . | come Mercury ! " came up now in a great hurry , as usual . " They ' ve " Who ? " " Wh y the deputation from the Heaven and Earth Reform Association Bacchus and . Mars Here aside they are as . the Oh deputation , it is such came fun ! " in and sight he . drew It must be owned that they did look ' rather undignified . been They done were in all a , more car propelled or less , upse by atmospheric t by their journey pressure , which . Besides had , the so that light they dazzled reeled their about eyes . , and the air made them half drunk , parce " S l tyx of me Fauns , " cried on one Bacchus of my , " fete if they days aren . " 't all as sprung as a Ma They rcus came Anton ius looking Smith as , Cato solemn Brown as they , Tiberius could . T There hompson was ,
- and Tullius Decimus Wiggins Brutus , Septimus Potts . Severus Priggins , Publius Pryor , Pryor was peering about everywhere , and finding fault with everything . He whisnered to Wiggins that the roadway was very much out of repair and wanted macadamizing . " And , look at that sky , Wiggins , it ' s far too bright—it wants toning down with a little smoke . " " There ' s that lazy , plundering scoundrel Mars ; he ought to be abolished , " growled Brown . ' e ' s " always Yes , and ' aving that the red- blood faced of blood the - peop sucker le j Bacchus we'll pass , * e ' the s no Mayne good , Li It quor was P Law riggins and who put snuffled 'im on water out these -gruel severe , that ' s criticisms what we . 'll do . " " this " Now way then , please , gentlemen , to the presence , " said chamber Mercury of , coming the great forward Jove . " , They followed the nimble postman of Olympus . " Shall you take off your ' at ? " said Wiggins to Thompson . " Certainly not , I never takes off my ' at , except to the Soverei They gn had peop now le reached . " the door of the presence chamber of Jove . Spite of their blustering , all turned very pale as they entered . was The curled Thunderer and scented sat on , and his throne his beard , looking shone his with best oil . , — His his hair lips wore a sarcastic smile . Juno was by his side—looking very blue . The Deputation stood stock still . " Now then , " said Jove in his grandest voice , " what have you got to say ?" No answer . your " You letters have , and all been prayers pestering , and petitions me for , the and last now five you years are here with you Brown can say here nothing shoved . " his way to the front . " Well , you see , Sir—" " " Don "Well 't , your call me Majesty ' Sir , '" I thundered beg your pardon the indi — gnant the fact God is— . " " 'Ere , let me speak , " shouted Wiggins , ' * you ain ' t no good , Brown . " He then continued , addressing Jove . as " good Look as ' ere you , your , and Majesty the Soverei , or gn whatever people you don ' call t mean yours to elf be , I put ' m o on n . ; things We ' as ain too ' t much a-going to on do , as and we we should don't like get to enoug see ' em h pay a-going , and we wants to reform everything , and— " Here the speaker came to " a You full stop need . not trouble yourself to go any further , " said Jove done very calml than y I ; do " , you that all I have know resolved so much to better let you what try ought and do to be it . I have deposed all my colleagues , and now I depose myself . You may govern the world yourselves . " " What ! " said Brown ; " you habdicates ? " " " I But do stop ! and a now minute get j out ' ow of are this we to place govern . " the world , we ain ' t omnipotent ? " " " Well Oh , I of thou course ght you , we were 7 re the , " said Sove Jove reign wi peop th a le sneer ; but . still there are some things as we can't do , —there's the Sun , for instance , we don ' t understand ' ow ' e works . " Make yourelf easy on that point j I give you all my omnipotence—you can exercise it between you . Choose your governing arm And body to w Juno , ith and that and begin Jup walked iter as soon swept out as his of you the robes like private . " round door him , leaving offered the his dep " utation Well , " said alone , Wig with gins Mercury , ' ? this is a lark 1 we must go back and tell the League—it will be grand news . " he Pryor said to was Mercury bustling , " about that you alread 'll not y , full put of yqurselves authority . out " I — hope don , ' * t ' hu " rry T , hank you know you , , your we can highness give you , but three we days Gods doa pack * t carry up . " much baggage . I ' ope " Bu Mrs t the . Venus ladies , " wi said ll take l Priggins up 'er j residence " I ' ope they among won us ' t . " desert us . " I'll acquaint her with your kind offer ; meanwhile , gentlemen , it ' s time for you to return . " And the deputation returned in high glee to Earth . ( To be continued . )
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Citation
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Tomahawk (1867-1870), Nov. 27, 1869, page 242, in the Nineteenth-Century Serials Edition (2008; 2018) ncse.ac.uk/periodicals/t/issues/ttw_27111869/page/2/
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